How to be Alfred F. Jones (as formally expressed by Alfred F. Jones)

1. If there is an opportunity to be the hero, take it.

Everyone loves someone they can follow, right? And since everyone loves Alfred F. Jones anyway, carpe the diem out of that shit.

2. Never leave home without a good ol' burger or two. And fries. And maybe a Coke.

If anyone asks, it's fuel. If they ask what for, wink and tell them they know exactly what you're talking about. Let them come to their own conclusions. Also, don't share. Ever.

3. Be loud!

Sure, the quiet and shy act earns you cuteness points. But really, dude, no one's going to give a shit about you past that. People remember the loud ones. People like the funny ones. People forget you when you're not either of those. And, of course, Alfred F. Jones is not someone to be forgotten.

4. Be awesome.

Yeah, yeah, that's Prussia's word, but I used it before that cocky little bastard. 5 meters, my ass… Anyway, you can't be Alfred F. Jones without being awesome. That's pretty self-explanatory.

5. Your dear friend England, who is most definitely not reading over your shoulder right now, is an object meant to be ridiculed. Take advantage of this every chance you get.

Sure, he might be almost-awesome at times (key word being almost here), but never let him kn-

How to be Alfred F. Jones: A Revised and More Accurate Account, as told by Arthur Kirkland

1. If there is an opportunity to be an idiot, take it.

So sorry, but I believe you mean to say that everyone loves someone at whom they can laugh. You, little brother, are a prime example. Also, "carpe the diem" is completely redundant. Kindly refrain from using phrases that you do not know.

2. Please – please – keep your nasty excuses for food to yourself.

I don't even want to know what you're implying here. Please stop before I get nightmares.

3. Do realize that people have eardrums they would like to keep intact.

Quiet and shy earns you respect. This is obviously beyond your limited vocabulary. It is very possible to be memorable and respectful at the same time.

4. If by "awesome" you mean "obnoxious," then I agree completely.

Funny, really, that Prussia wasn't the one I first thought of when you mentioned cocky little bastards…

5. I'm touched. Really, I am.

No, seriously. It's written all over my face. I can't believe you don't see it.

Really.

/lazy ending is lazy

So I kind of want to write more for this fandom, but... I don't know what. Ideas, anyone? :x

Reviews would be loverly.

~Ebaz