I don't know how to love him…
Al: Hi guys, Happy September! So, since school has started, it really depends if Roche will publish anything. But, chapter one of the story I will be appearing in (called Scattered Memories) is still in the works and will be up soon, so please be patient if you want to take a peek at that.
Ling: Also, Roche has a new deviantART account now (RockAlchemist105), so some previews of any upcoming stories/chapters will be up there; as well as some pictures she has drawn herself. Now, before Al and I get carried away…
Ling and Al (in unison): Roche doesn't own FMA or the song "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar. We suggest you listen to the song while reading this story. We hope you enjoy this one-shot!
"Ed, you really have to learn how to take care of your automail better!" I scolded as I fix up Ed's newly damaged arm. I know it's like him for to get into fights and all, but I just don't want him or Al to get hurt. I care about them both; but there is something about Ed that just makes feel tingly on the inside. What is this feeling? Am I…falling for him? And if I am, how do I?
I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
"Ok, so it's going to take me at least three days to fix this, so I should ask Mr. Garfiel if you two can stay here for the night; if not, there's a hotel across the street from here." I told Ed and Al as I start to take out my tools.
"In the meantime, try not to get mobbed again, Ed." I joked as he rolled his eyes and both he and Al walked out of the shop. I sigh as I watched both my best friends leave. Gosh, time does fly.
"Aww, was the short one your boyfriend?" Mr. Garfiel cooed as I start to blush.
"No, he and his brother are just close family friends of mine, nothing more than that!" I insisted, my face turning a bright tomato red.
"Oh, that's too bad. The short one does look cute you know…" Mr. Garfiel winks at me.
"Oh, is it alright if they stay here for the next three days? I have to fix Edward's arm…again." I asked as he nodded his head.
"Yes, that would be alright. Just don't fool around with him." He walked to the front of the shop as I shudder from his last comment. I sigh as I get started on the arm, but my brain starts to lose its train of thought as I think about a certain older Elric. I put down my wrench and get up from my work bench I guess this is going to take a little longer than I thought. I told Mr. Garfiel that I'm taking a break and headed out of the shop and looked out at all the townspeople walking by. As I walk through, I wave and greet any customers that I know, but my mind was still too focused at the issue at hand.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I thought about how he has changed over the years. Even if he is still (yes still) shorter than I am, I must admit, he is much more handsome. But he's just a guy; many girls will swoon on him; no, let me rephrase that; some girls will swoon on him, and maybe we wouldn't have a chance.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
I start to remember all the other suitors who tried to ask me out; with me always turning them down; ironically, I remember Ed and Al fighting over who was going to marry me, and I kindly turned them both down because of their height. But, now I regret turning Ed down.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.
My walk turns into a jog as I feel the tears flow down my cheeks. I run all the way to the edge of a cliff and I look out at the mountains. I sit by the edge and look at the sun sets behind the mountains. I'm guessing the duo might be back at the shop, but I don't want to go back, not just yet.
Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
What is love all about? Of course, I don't know what it feels like because I've never been a relationship before. I've always dreamed of finding my knight in shining automail, but I've never really gone out and looked for him yet.
Don't you think it's rather funny?
I should be in this position.
The sun lowers and nearly hides behind the mountains as I close my eyes and think. I can feel someone's presence next to me, but I don't open my eyes, knowing who it is.
"So…how is my arm coming along?" I don't respond to the voice, keeping my thoughts and my voice to myself. Sure, I'm pretty calm and collected when it comes to certain things (except with Ed's arm or leg), but right now, I am panicking on the inside.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
Both he and Al scare me a lot; worrying me if they have been injured or broken in any way; I only wish they could be more careful. Every day and night; they worry me; promising me they will call and tell me what's going on, and they never do…they never do. I don't like it when they keep anything from me; it makes me feel unimportant to them.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
"Winry, what's wrong?" Ed's voice asks me, making me want to respond.
"Every day…I'm worried about you and Al. You never tell me anything; and I tend to be left out from anything you guys do; it makes me feel like I'm not important in your lives, Ed." I face him, tears flowing down my cheeks. He looks at me with surprised eyes; his expression going from serious to worry.
"Winry…the reason we don't tell you anything is because we care about you; and we don't want you to get hurt if you knew anything." Ed explained. I look at him full on, my heart pounding in my ears. So they did care after all…but I still can't cope with the one fact that if…
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I got up from my spot and sighed; walking back into town and leaving Ed behind.
"Winry, where are you going?" I try to ignore him, but it doesn't work when he grasps my arm. I turn my head, staring into his golden eyes; the ones that I've learned to love.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
The way I feel about Ed…it's scaring me so. I only wish this feeling of love would go away and we would just go back to being friends and just friends. But by the way he smiles at me, his eyes boring into my soul and my face heating up at the feel of his flesh hand…it's impossible. He moves in closer so that our faces are now inches apart. Now he's really scaring me. He puts his hand to cheek and I look at him. He leans in and I do the same, our lips meeting in a kiss. I feel like time has stopped as this happened. We let go and I smile at him.
"Winry…WAKE UP!" I groan as I open my eyes to see Ed and Al looking at me. I yelp as I look down at my work. Damn it, I didn't even start yet. I stifled a yawn as I start to remember the dream I had, and I smile.
"Winry, are you ok?" Al asked and I nod.
"I'm fine now…"
I want him so.
I love him so.
Ling: Ok, so that's the end of the story! Thank you for reading this one-shot! Please review your thoughts and we will see you in the next story!