Summary: Marie is your average middle-school girl who constantly degrades herself because she thinks she's disgusting, fat, etc. She is also a major Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood otaku. So what happens when the Fullmetal characters suddenly become her classmates and teachers?!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood whatsoever.

"Alright, mom. I love you, bye," I said as I walked out of my mother's classroom and headed for my zero period classroom. As the bell rang for school to start, so began another grueling day putting on a cheerful mask to hide my actual depressed self. My friends knew the "real me", so to speak, but to an extent. As I did my usual routine of running to each class, I noticed some strangely familiar faces, but dismissed my sightings.

"Hey, Marie," Avalon, my friend, greeted me while I was running to one of my classes. She was known to me as a really cool and laid-back person.

"Hey, Avi," I said, happy to have a companion. As we headed towards third period science, I stopped short and stared with wide eyes at something that had caught my eye. No way, I thought.

"Marie, we have to get to class," Avalon said, pouting while pulling me along. "Or else Mrs. Bradley will lock us out."

"What?" I said, clearly confused. "Who's Mrs. Bradley?"

"Our science teacher, silly," Avalon answered, chuckling lightly at me. I stared at her in confusion. What was she talking about? What about our old science teacher? Why did Mrs. Bradley sound so familiar? As I thought more and more about remembering our old science teacher, the more I realized that I couldn't remember much about her, not her name, nor her face. Yet I swore I had passed had passed earlier while walking to my mother's classroom and she smiled and waved at me.

"Marie, we're here," said Avalon, and we walked in the classroom. I stopped short and almost had a heart attack. Now I remembered why her name had sounded so familiar! In one of my favorite anime, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, she was Mrs. Bradley, the furhur's wife!

"Oh, hello, Avalon, Marie, how are you two doing on this fine day?" Mrs. Bradley asked us and I swear I almost collapsed right there.

"We're doing great, Mrs. Bradley," Avalon answered and nudged me, signaling to say something. I glared at her and kept silent.

"Oh dear," Mrs. Bradley said sweetly with concern. "You look pale, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, Mrs. Bradley," I said cautiously and Avalon gave me a puzzled look.

"Oh, well, that's wonderful," she said cheerfully. "Well, then, get to your seats and class will begin shortly."

We took our seats and I waited for Felix, my friend that sat next to me in science. I thought I could talk to him about my dilemma but for some reason, when he walked in and tried to sit next to me, Mrs. Bradley stopped him.

"Not there, dear," Mrs. Bradley said, pointing to the seat next to Avalon. "Why don't you sit there for now? Well, class, I have exciting news for you all today. We have two new students and twins, no less! They will be sit on either side of miss Marie."

I gulped thinking back to the characters of Fullmetal Alchemist. But then sighed in relief when I realized that there were no twins that were my age. I relaxed until they walked in, looking sleek and seductive next to each other. Oh. Hell. No. I thought.

"These are the Yao twins." Mrs. Bradley explained. "Would you two like to introduce yourselves?"

Please don't be them. Anyone but them. Please. I silently begged.

"I am Ling Yao," said my worst nightmare. I silently cursed myself for all the awful things I had ever done and blamed karma. Man, karma really is a bitch, I thought. Ling continued, "And this is my brother, R-"

"Don't bother using my cover name," his brother interrupted glamorously, soaking up all the attention. Please, don't say it, I thought. Be anyone but him. Be Gary. Be Frank. Be Bill. Be Bob. Be gay, for god's sake. But don't be him.

"Brother, please," Ling protested, whispering to his arrogant brother. "Not here, I thought we were going to start over."

His pleas went ignored.

"Call me Greed." He said to the class and held up his hand to reveal a red oroboros tattoo.

I'm screwed