"Did I ever mention that turians hate the cold?"

"...yeah. Twice."

"You're going to punch me if I mention it again."

"...yep. So shut your face and help me figure out how to get this thing going faster."

Garrus sighed. He'd explained twice to Shepard that they were effectively snowed in after leaving the Mako out in the snow outside Peak 15, and that the only option they had was to slowly siphon energy from the main guns to the engine. Garrus grumbled softly to himself. Wrex didn't have to be out here in the snow fussing over the engine. Then again, Wrex would probably just shoot the recalcitrant machine.

"Shepard, if you want to fight a losing battle, go ahead. I'm heading in," he said.

"No, you're not. Who's going to warn me if I'm about to blow this thing up?" she said, grabbing his arm. Garrus let out a sigh, hitting his head against the metal of the Mako with a soft thunk.

"Fine. But I'm getting into the Mako. Trust me, I'll be able to tell if you're about to get us both killed."

"Asshole. Leaving poor little me outside in the snow." Shepard turned large, pleading eyes on him. Damn humans and that stupid expression they all seemed capable of doing. He sighed and took her hand, pulling her away from the hood of the vehicle.

"Come with me, then, if you're so set on monitoring the Mako. I'm not going to leave you to freeze. You'll be able to do about as much damage inside anyway."

Shepard didn't really want to admit it, but Garrus was right. The two of them had been outside for over an hour fiddling with it, and there was no other safe way to de-ice the engines. Garrus refused to risk a loud and violent explosion no matter how much she asked, so it was the several hour approach. She opened the hatch of the Mako and hopped in after him.

The interior was still pretty cramped, but without an eight hundred pound krogan, there was a little more room. Garrus checked the vehicle's readouts, paying particular attention to the little green engine gauge. "I'd say about another four hours at this rate."

"Four hours," groaned Shepard. "What the hell am I going to do for four fucking hours?"

Garrus shrugged, curling himself into a ball as best he could. There was no wind in here and the Mako was relatively well-insulated, but it was still far too cold for his liking.

"Pansy," said Shepard with a teasing grin. For a girl who'd grown up in an orphanage on Earth, snowstorms were old hat.

"Thanks, Commander," replied Garrus. The cold wasn't doing much for his mood, but apparently Shepard still had the good grace to tease him.

She shrugged. "This kind of thing happened every year on Earth," she said.

Garrus's mouth dropped open, his mandibles splayed in astonishment. "How the hell did you stay warm?"

"We did have internal heating, Garrus," she said dryly. "Other than that...I dunno. Hot chocolate." At his confused expression, she continued, "A kind of warm drink."

"Anything more, I don't know, applicable to our current predicament?"

Shepard thought about it for a moment. "Curl up under blankets, sit in front of-" She suddenly cut herself off, and leaned over into the driver's seat, reaching for the medical kit under the controls. Garrus watched in utter bemusement as she rooted around inside for the medical blanket and pulled it out.

"Take off your armor," she said.

Garrus gaped at her, quite sure he was experiencing some kind of hypothermia-induced hallucination. He was definitely starting to shiver now.

"Armor. Off," said Shepard again, tapping insistently on his helmet. She started to strip off her own armor, tossing the segments unceremoniously into the Mako's back seat.

"Shepard-what-"

"I'm cold too, you ass. Take off your armor, and we'll curl up under the blanket to keep warm," she said quickly, her cheeks flushing a little. It wasn't until she'd gotten down to her rather scanty underarmor and started removing his that he realized she was deadly serious. She unhooked his helmet and tossed it over the seat. The physical constraints of the Mako's construction made it impossible for her to stand up straight inside-she was almost leaning on top of him.

Garrus swallowed hard as her body rubbed against his through his armor. He had to be hallucinating. He had to be.

"Earth to Garrus?" A pair of human fingers snapped in front of his eyes.

"I-huh?" She backed away from him, and before he knew what was happening, he shot out a hand and pulled her back, almost into his lap. It was warmer with her next to him.

Shepard laughed and continued divesting him of his armor, her quick and clever hands now moving to the catches on the sides of his legs. Garrus thanked the spirits that turian underarmor wasn't as skimpy as the kind she was wearing.

"Scoot over," she said after she'd finished efficiently stripping him of even his boots.

"Shepard," he said, finding his voice for the first time in several minutes, "there's no room."

She considered it for a moment, shrugged, and crawled into his lap, pulling the blanket over the two of them. Garrus nearly had a heart attack. When he set out this morning, he had not expected to both meet rachni and end up with Commander freaking Shepard curled up on his lap.

It was one weird day.

"Better like this?"

It was difficult to say. On one hand, it was a lot warmer. In fact, it was getting uncomfortably so with the way she was shifting in his lap, trying to find a comfortable position. She finally settled for slinging one leg to each side, hip-to-hip with him with her head resting against the crook of his collar ridge.

Garrus tentatively put his arms around her shoulders, adjusting the blanket so it covered them both. He was glad she'd finally stopped squirming around. It would be exceedingly awkward for them both if-

"Hello," said Shepard. "I didn't realize your fringe had black tips." Before he could stop her, her curious human fingers had found the top of his head and begun rubbing the ends of his fringe.

Garrus let out an involuntary groan as heat shot through his body toward his groin. "Shepard," he said quietly, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Kinda sensitive up there."

Her hands mercifully stilled. She tilted her head to the side, looking thoughtfully at him. "Sorry," she said. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's not that, it's-"

"...oh."

Garrus froze, mortified. The underarmor was apparently thinner than he'd thought-or hoped. They sat there, staring at each other in a painful silence.

"Shepard," he said hurriedly, pulling the blanket aside, "I appreciate you trying to keep me warm, but I-"

"Shut up," she said quietly. "I said 'oh,' not 'ew.'" She was still giving him that thoughtful, almost appraising look. Then almost without warning, she ran all ten fingers along his fringe and pressed her hips against him.

The effect was electric. Garrus let out a deep growling sound and pushed his hips back up into hers, his eyes going wide. There was a small mischievious smile on her face as she continued to rub his fringe, sending small shudders of pleasure down his body.

Garrus had never once considered the notion that his beautiful commanding officer, desired by both Alenko and Dr. T'Soni, might be attracted to him instead. But the possibility was being literally shoved in his face as Shepard's breath tickled his neck.

"Playing with fire, Commander," he managed to choke out.

He felt rather than saw her wicked grin. "Fire? Sounds good. It's cold enough in here to freeze a monkey's balls."

"...that was a terrible pun, Shepard."

"So shut me up, wiseass."

Enough was enough. He might regret it later, but Shepard certainly didn't seem adverse to the idea. So he pushed aside his nagging doubts, and decided to oblige her. He turned his face toward hers and nipped experimentally at her ear.

He decided to take her shuddering gasp as a good sign, and continued to nibble mercilessly as his fingers found the zippers in her underarmor. The stuff wasn't too complicated, but he quickly found himself stymied by the strange contraption across her chest.

"Uh..." He looked at her helplessly.

"Hold on, big guy," said Shepard, chuckling. "I'll take care of this." She reached around to the back of the contraption. The next moment, she leaned forward, and the thing slid down her arms, exposing her chest to his curious eyes.

He gave one breast an experimental poke, eliciting more chuckles from Shepard. He was pretty sure laughter wasn't the response he was supposed to get, so he leaned forward and ran his tongue along the tip.

"Hey," Shepard whispered, fighting for self control as Garrus's tongue found her nipple. "I'm the only one without clothes. This...ugh, Garrus, you turian bastard...not fair."

He stopped licking and leaned back, giving Shepard the turian equivalent of a small grin. "Well," he said, "get to it."

The next second, he couldn't decide if upping the ante was the worst or best idea he'd ever had. Shepard wriggled from his grasp, sliding between his legs to her knees. The cold hit him as the blanket shifted, but suddenly he didn't really care when her hot breath danced across his lap.

"You," he said through clenched teeth, "are...evil."

Shepard laughed again, removing his pants with torturous care. She blinked a little once she'd divested him of the bottom half of his underarmor, eyes now fixed on his erection.

"Are you supposed to be...blue?" she blurted out.

"What did you expect? Fleshy pink?" Garrus retorted. She continued staring at him, something he couldn't help but find arousing despite how painfully self-conscious he felt.

Then her tongue darted out and rubbed against his tip, and Garrus stopped caring about everything else in the galaxy. What she was doing to him with her warm mouth and expert tongue shouldn't be possible. Or legal.

"Sh-Shepard," he gasped after a few minutes, digging his talons into her bare shoulders to get her attention. "Y-you-need to stop-soon-"

The vibration of her laughter around his cock made him clench the seat and groan loudly, but she obliged, climbing back into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her touch surprisingly gentle.

"You good with this?" she asked softly, and for once, she didn't sound like her usual confident self. Garrus smiled and bumped his forehead against hers. He felt her eyes flutter closed, and she slid him into her body in one slow, smooth movement.

It felt absolutely nothing like being with a turian, and Garrus honestly didn't give a fuck. She was warm and tight and so goddamn bold, her hands running over every inch of his rapidly heating body in an attempt to explore every unfamiliar inch. Sweat beaded on her forehead as they pushed and yielded together.

"Nice alternative to hot chocolate," he mumbled, burying his face against her shoulder. She let out a shuddering laugh.

"You-oh, God-wouldn't be able to...drink it anyway," she said. He was about to retort when she pressed her lips against his mouth, her tongue pushing gently at his lips. She moaned softly, and he suddenly felt her whole body clench around him in sharp spasms.

Fuck-turian females definitely didn't do that. He seized her hips and thrust once into her, ecstasy overtaking him in great shuddering gasps. Somehow he had the presence of mind to pull the blanket over the two of them as they slowly caught their breaths.

"...well," said Shepard. "I've figured out what I'm doing for the next four hours." She grinned a little. The windows of the Mako were distinctly fogged up with condensation.

Garrus laughed, his hands absently stroking her sweat-dewed back. "Well, Commander, no one can say you lack for creativity."