The Past, The Love, The Memory

Author's Note: I do not own Avengers. I only own the character of Maddie. I really love Avengers (especially loki), maybe a bit too much, so, here :P Cause i know im not the only one. I write this story during beauty school, so, it will update as much as I am able to write during my down time in class. The Story is named after a song by A Skylit Drive.

Also, the story switches POVS, and I will inform which POV at the beginning of each chapter.

Summary: "Dont tell me it was that woman" Loki had said to Thor, heartbroken. Ever wondered if maybe there was a reason this upset him so much? Well, there is, and this is why.

Chapter One

"uuuuu-UGHHHHHHHHHH!" The God of Mischief bellowed outside the halls of his chamber from within. He tossed and turned in his large bed, which had a dark yet sparkling green tint to the blankets. His uncontrollable screeches of pain seemingly to be from nowhere for he was asleep and unharmed. Nightmares were plaguing him this night, so bad it was manifesting into his real life and demeanor. His room was open and spacious, with a wall that was entirely a window with a decent view of the beautiful city of Asgard below the castle. It was a wondrous view, but not as magnificent as Thor's, as to be expected; yet another small detail proving Odin's favoritism.

The monster tore at Loki's back, again and again and again, and with each strike he screamed, lurching forward from the force of the impact, but his chains held him in place. His semi-short black hair hung over his beaten face, which was his only body part not covered in blood. The monster didn't dare touch his face, for some mysterious reason.

Loki had no idea what the beast looked like, for he stood behind him only, almost purposely to avoid being seen. This monster followed Loki in his dreams multiple times in the past and never once did he show his identity. Loki was growing tired of his games and had to know who followed him and tortured him at night when his conscious was gone.

"Who are you?!" cried out Loki, angry and exhausted from the vigorous beating; he had had enough.

"Why would I show you who I am, when you already know who knocks you weak and inferior day in and day out? Isn't it obvious?" A deep, smooth yet rough voice responded in return.

Loki pulled and thrashed at the chains holding him firm that were hanging from the ceiling with all his might but to no avail. He knew he could not control his own dreams, yet he was aware and knew exactly what was going on as if it was all real. The events were out of his control, it was his inner demon's.

"Don't I deserve to know why I receive some torment?" He almost begged this time, but doing good to not let his voice crack. If he wasn't dreaming and in control of his actions, he would just turn his head to see the beast a long time ago. There was silence for a few minutes and Loki considered that maybe the beast had gone, until he jumped when he suddenly felt the slight tingling of a deep heavy breathing and grunting on the back of his bare neck. It smelt foul and almost burned to the touch as his breaths consumed his entire back and shoulders. He heaved and his voice sounded like a hundred whaling birds.

"Look at me."

He had whispered the three words, so close to Loki's ear that he could feel the tips of his cold, sharp teeth. As scared as he was of what the beast was to look like, he turned gently, to look dead into the eyes of his brother Thor.

Loki jumped upright in bed, sweating, panting, tears streaming down his face. All these months, all these horrific nights, it was his own brother who beat him senseless, made him shed blood, punished for no obvious reason. It might all had been nightmares, but it felt real to him; all too real. He couldn't stop the tears from forming and sliding right down his broken face. He wasn't able to recall the last time he was frightened and cried this much. It wasn't like him.

A knocking on the door alerted him, almost causing him to scream, but instead it came out as a whimper.

"Yes?" he answered, attempting to regain his cool and his calm composure that he was famous for.

"Breakfast is ready for you in the dining hall. Thor is there and wishes to eat with you, he says he has news to tell you."

The name Thor gave Loki chills, and he gripped his blankets to the point that he would have dug straight into his palms and draw blood, if the blanket had not been there to protect them. That man. That man had hurt Loki for days on ends.

In his mind

In his mind.

No. He reminded himself. It was just a dream. Thor is my brother, careless and stupid, but my brother.

He clambered out of bed, wearing black fleece pants that only the son of Odin would have the privilege to own, and no shirt. There were scratch marks on his stomach where he clenched his skin in the middle of the night. He walked to the other side of the room to go get dressed, and dressed in his best suit like every Asgardian does everyday. Like all of the royals and warriors, he was always a huge fan of his suit and armor. It was unique and different from everyone else's with its sparkling black and and dark green that seem to mold into the perfect relationship and design. He smoothed his hair back, showing his face. Upon leaving his chambers, he strode to the master table in the dining hall, where he saw a feast for 20 men awaiting him. He was not alone of course, for there set Thor, just has he expected.

"Brother" he murmured as he took a seat, a couple chairs away from Thor. His graceful glide to the chair seemed to be the trigger of the room coming alive and when he was firmly in his spot, Thor boasted.

"I HAVE GREAT NEWS TO TELL ALL OF ASGARD!"

Loki didn't even have time to get comfortable. What Thor thought was great for Asgard was always a heap full of trouble and misguided perception. Instead of speaking, Loki raised one eyebrow, giving the OK for Thor to go further. He took a huge bite out from the leg of the giant bird in the middle of the table with pride and confidence and his lack of manners disgusted Loki; he was a respectful man on the contrary of Thor and didn't say anything about it.

"Aren't you going to eat brother?" Thor asked, realizing Loki's lack of doing anything. He was just sitting there watching him.

"No, I rather not," was all his response.

"WELL THEN!" proclaimed Thor, dropping the now bare leg bone. "Let's get to my grand news. The Aesir, Odin and I have spoken, and they have declared it is time for me to take my place as KING!"

Loki's mouth dropped.

"Fantastic? Yes! I wanted you to be the first to hear of it." Thor beamed his happy eyes and famous grin. Loki's mouth was slightly agape as he fumbled with his fingers under the table.

"That's nice. I'm not surprised it would have been you," was all his silver tongue could manage to say. It wasn't a lie; he wasn't surprised. It was always Thor. ALWAYS.

ALWAYS!

Loki jumped at the voice in his head. It wasn't his own. It was the beast's.

He looked up at Thor, who was still grinning, waiting for Loki to respond. He couldn't help but be struck with fear. Fear and Anger. He was the rightful king, hadn't he proven himself so?

You did.

Loki shoved himself to his feet, looking dead at the ground. He couldn't handle this. He knew it was going to happen but he hoped for years maybe he was wrong. Odin out in the open would always proclaim how much greater Thor was in, but in the sanctity of privacy, tell Loki how worthy he was too and how proud of him he was. Lies, the old man was full of lies.

"It's obvious isn't it"

He understood. No wonder the beast from his nightmares was Thor, because in real life, Thor was his monster. The one who humiliated him through out his life; he might has well had been attacking him, silently.

"I got to go somewhere. Good news to hear," he whispered softly, before making his exit. He had to get out of here, before he said something he would regret to the most important person his life, his brother Thor.