A/n: This is the adult, dirty version of Chapter 3. There may be more chapters like this. Please enjoy.

Blaine's dad was less than happy about the idea, he came home that night looking severely dejected.
"I know my dad's never really been cool with the whole me being gay thing but… I thought he'd support me." He told Kurt sadly. Kurt hugged him close as Blaine continued. "He gave me a huge lecture on 'you are what you are but it's not fair to inflict that on a baby.'" Blaine mumbled his words, evidently upset.
"Blaine I'm so sorry." Kurt said sympathetically. "He'll come round… I'm sure."
"He said Cooper never gave him any of this hassle."
"Doesn't Cooper have like 5 kids to a bunch of different moms?"
"Yeah." Blaine sighed and broke the hug. "I really want to do this. But above all I want to do this with you." He promised. Kurt smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the lips.

"I have a question." Blaine said eventually. "Would you like to be the father of our child?" Kurt touched his hand to heart, honoured that Blaine would ask him.
"I thought that you'd want to…"
"I do… but I know how much being a dad means to you Kurt…" Blaine raised his hand to cup Kurt's face and spoke directly into his eyes.
"It means a lot to both of us," Kurt said. "I was thinking… we should do what Rachel's dads did. Mix it all up and that way we'll never know."
"That's beautifully romantic… and a little gross." Blaine said, stroking his thumb over Kurt's lips.
"We just have to wait for Rachel to give us a call to say she's ovulating…" Kurt's eyes flitted to the phone, as though expecting it to ring.

-

"I just don't understand!" Rachel complained staring at the negative ovulation test. "I stopped taking the pill, I started on folic acid…"
"Rachel chill, the doctor said it might take a month or two for you to get back to normal." Finn said rubbing Rachel's shoulders. She glared at him.
"This is your fault, it was your idea for me to take the contraceptive pill even though it made me gain weight, and now it means Kurt and Blaine can't have their baby this month!" She fumed. Finn sighed. Rachel was very irrational sometimes, and given she'd just gotten home from her job at the community theatre she seemed extra tense.
"Next month okay." He told her, "Next month you guys can try."
"Fine but you're the one calling Kurt and Blaine." She huffed stomping off into Liam's room. He was sat up in bed, playing with a toy Unicorn Brittany had given him on the day he was born.

"Mommy needs a cuddle." She said, sitting on the bed, the toddler threw his pudgy arms around his mother's neck.
"Don't be sad mommy." He said nuzzling into her neck. "Here." He handed her his unicorn toy with little thought to his own loss. She cuddled him and the unicorn close.
"I love you baby."
"Not a baby!" Liam complained. Finn laughed from the doorway.
"Yeah mommy, he's not a baby." Finn scolded her.
"He's my baby." She chided and kissed him on his forehead.

-

The next month Rachel bounded over to Kurt and Blaine's house with gusto.
"I'm ovulating!" She chirped.
"Today?" Kurt asked in shock, letting her and a bedraggled looking Finn into his home.
"Yeah are you ready, we're gonna make you a baby!"
"This is the most awkward day of my life." Finn muttered to Blaine. "I've had to listen to her for a whole month babbling on about her 'menstrual cycle' when she's on her period and what her temperature is. It's insane." Blaine nodded in agreement, he could definitely see how that could be awkward, especially with Rachel's unbridled enthusiasm. She pulled out of her handbag a turkey baster, and a small opaque cup with a lid on it.
"Where's Liam?"
"We left him on his own." Joked Finn.
"He's with my dads." Rachel responded seriously. "They wish us all good luck!" She added, shaking the tub in front of Kurt and Blaine. "Go go go, I read that the average ovulation window is only open for a few hours!" She said ushering Kurt and Blaine into the bathroom.

"This is weird." Kurt admitted, staring at the cup between them.
"Very." Blaine nodded. "Still want to go through with it."
"Mmhmm… you?" He asked worriedly, afraid that Blaine would change his mind. Blaine instead leaned in and kissed Kurt.
"Let's make a baby."

Blaine undid his zipper first and Kurt's erection instantly twitched into life. Blaine indicated for Kurt to do the same and he obeyed. Blaine had a wicked look in his dark eyes that Kurt knew all too well.
"We don't need to be so… clinical about this." Blaine grinned, stepping closer to Kurt, he kissed slowly down his lover's throat eliciting a small sigh of pleasure from him. Blaine's hands began to wander, and found Kurt's semi hard cock in seconds, rubbing it to full mast was no difficult task. Hearing Kurt's soft whimper sent blood pumping into his own member.

"There's no reason we can't have a little… fun." He purred, placing the swollen head of his penis against Kurt's and running his hand along both of their lengths in one swift liquid movement. Kurt mewled and held onto Blaine's shoulders as he keened to the motions. The thought of cumming into a cup was a total turn off to Kurt and Blaine could tell that, the reality of Blaine jacking him back and forth removed all the fear and awkwardness.

Making a baby was a beautiful process, however messy, and Blaine wanted Kurt to look back on this moment with a sense of pride, not of embarrassment. He sped up his hand movements, revelling in the feel of Kurt's dick twitching and throbbing in his hand. He pulled himself away from Kurt, stepping instead behind him and placing his right hand on Kurt's cock he rubbed his left hand over Kurt's ass, fingers teasing against the puckered hole. Blaine knew they couldn't have sex, he didn't trust himself not to finish inside him, instead he prodded Kurt's asshole with one spit slicked finger, helping Kurt to the edge.

Kurt managed to take his mind off the bliss that was Blaine Anderson's hands long enough to grab the cup just before orgasm tore through him. He had to admit, for being so clouded with lust he had fairly good aim. Blaine stepped out from behind Kurt who was hastily rebuttoning his tight pants and began shamelessly beating his own cock, Kurt thought he looked beautiful, cheeks flushed with desire, hair beginning to fall out of it's usual gel slicked perfection and into soft curls that framed his hazy dark eyes.
"Kurt…" Blaine moaned softly. Kurt smiled, knowing Blaine thought of him as he came, into the small opaque cup. He leaned over breathing heavily.
"We better get that to Rachel stat." Kurt said, he leaned across and kissed Blaine on the forehead. He let Blaine get dressed before heading back into the living room, lid on the slightly warm cup he handed to Rachel. Finn hid his head in his hands.

"Gross dude, just gross."
"I think it's beautiful." Rachel said vanishing off upstairs. Kurt and Blaine sat down on the sofa, both of them looking thoroughly sexed. Finn looked anywhere but at his brother.

-

"I did everything by the book." Rachel gushed coming downstairs to where Kurt, Blaine and Finn sat in an awkward silence. "I kept my hips elevated for a half hour after the insemination and I have a chart of my basal body temperature and cervical mucus so…"
"Enough," Finn mumbled embarrassedly. "We'll uh… get back to you guys in two weeks okay."
"Two weeks?"
"That's when I can take a pregnancy test." Rachel said excitedly. Kurt stood up and crossed to Rachel, to look his best friend in the eye. He hugged her.
"Thank you, so much Rachel." He whispered in her ear.
"You're welcome." She whispered back. "Good luck."

"I hope to god she is pregnant because that was the most awkward day of my life." Finn mumbled to Kurt and Blaine as he left.

A/n: This is the full length chapter 3, complete with naughty hand job scene. Hope you enjoyed it, perverts. Review!