Artemis Fowl's addiction to Pokemon wasn't getting much better. As a matter of fact, it had actually worsened.

Myles and Beckett walked into his room one day. They were the only ones who knew about Artemis' addiction apart from Foaly.

"Why do you play this game?" Beckett asked.

"Because, Beckett, it has cinnamony swirls in every bite!" Artemis shouted before he realized his mistake. After all, that was his other secret addiction.

"Can I play?" Myles asked.

"No, Myles, everyone knows that only adults play online children's games like Pokemon," Artemis said. Both the twins ran out of the room, which was just as well, because Artemis had to prepare for the Pokemon world championships. This time, luckily, they were holding it online and not in New York and other cities, which was good. That meant that Foaly was also going to play.

Artemis just couldn't get over losing to Foaly. This time, he was sure that Foaly couldn't resist taking the grand cup. But Artemis was equally determined to defeat him.

That was actually one of the reasons why his obsession wasn't going away. It had gotten to the point where Artemis was singing Gotta Catch 'em All in the shower.

Artemis Fowl did not sing. It never turned out good. Whenever he did sing, animal right's activists would gather outside Fowl Manor and ask why they were imprisoning a dying whale inside.

Meanwhile In Haven

As we all know, the LEPrecons had absolutely nothing to do now that Opal Koboi was gone besides tracking down Artemis.

"Look, Short," Trouble called out.

"Yessir?"

"We need you to go track down Fowl. They say he's been behaving oddly and not paying attention to his various projects anymore. There's also been rumors that he's hiding a dying whale inside his house, which oddly enough always pops up whenever he goes to the shower. But there's definitely something suspicious. And since we all have nothing better to do, and we usually send you to do these useless assignments, I want you to go."

"Sure."

We now return to Fowl Manor

The tournament had begun. Artemis had told Butler not to disturb him while he was playing.

The first ten matches went by smoothly. Artemis managed to actually beat them without cheating at all.

Of course, he kept his tracking system on so he could always know where the players were. If he was to defeat Foaly, Artemis knew that he would have to rely on using every single cheat code in the book. Not that there was a book of cheat codes, besides the one that Artemis had written himself.

It was when he had gotten to the semi-finals that something happened. His computer was detecting that this next player was from a location that he knew all too well.

As the match began, Artemis ringed up the phone.

"Really, Ms. Paradizo," Artemis said. "Is it necessary to come and play a children's video game?"

"It's the only way I could contact you," Minerva said. "You wouldn't come for anything else."

"So what?" Artemis said as he one-hit KO'd her first Pokemon.

"Why won't you go out with me?"

"I can't! Not until I defeat Foaly!" Artemis shouted. He finished Minerva off.

As he was about to advance to the next round, however, Holly Short burst into his room.

"Where are you hiding the whales, Artemis?" she asked. She then looked at his computer screen. "You... play Pokemon?"

"Of course," Artemis said. "Fowls throughout the centuries have played this game."

"It's only a few years old, Artemis," Holly pointed out. Normally she would have laughed her head off and poked Artemis with a stick, but there was a crazy gleam in his eyes, as if he'd had too much sugar.

Just then, there was an announcement. It said that the finals were going to be fought in teams and a team was going to be declared winner. Artemis had been paired up with... Foaly.

Artemis punched in the centaur's phone number.

"I suppose you should be thankful, Foaly," Artemis said. "Now there's no way for me to completely destroy you. Simply do not hold me down."

"Pfft. That's what I should be saying."

Both of them decided to give up on using cheat codes since their opponents for the final round were normal people.

And guess what? They lost.

Artemis checked up on the opponent's IVs and all and noticed that it couldn't have been normal. He traced the feed back to... Fowl Manor.

Downstairs, Myles and Beckett were cheering at having won.

Minerva called again. "Will you go out with me now?"

"Silence! Can't you see that my prodigious intellect has been seriously damaged and traumatized by losing at a video game to my younger brothers?" Artemis asked and began sobbing.

And so, that's how he lost the tournament.