A/N: Hello, fanfiction world. Welcome to my fic. I hope you like it.

But first: I would like to thank toobusyshippingcaskett on tumblr. She proof-read (beta-d, you could say) this story for me and is awesome and wonderful and made of rainbows and sunshine. I cannot thank her enough.

Disclaimer: Ha. You're funny. Castle isn't mine. Do I look like AWM to you?

Prologue

August 21, 2018

2191 Days After

There's something kinda poetic about it. The way the seasons pass, but her grave remains the same. Years go by, but the headstone looks the same as it did the day after she was buried. Time moves forward, but he'll never stop missing her.

"We're going to see Mommy." The little girl's father doesn't know if it's a question or statement.

The girl herself is no older than five. Her long, dark hair is pulled into a ponytail and she's wearing her favorite dress, flowy and navy blue. She has the same autumn eyes as her mother, wide and full of light. She's holding her father's hand as they walk through the graveyard, little fingers curled around her daddy's.

Nicole Castle looks up at her father. "Right, Daddy?"

"Right, sweetheart," he replies quietly.

Nicole has never seen the grave. She's been hearing stories about her mother for years, but this is the first time Richard Castle has taken his daughter to the cemetery.

"Mommy was nice, right?" No matter how tales she hears, she always asks questions about her mother.

"Very, very nice," Rick replies.

"And pretty, right?"

"Like a princess from one of your books." Rick says sincerely, then smiles. "You don't get your good looks from me, kiddo."

Nicole gives a soft giggle, then says, "I look like Mommy?"

So much like Mommy.

"Yeah, just like her." Rick says softly.

"Wow," Nicole says in an almost reverent way that makes Rick smile a little.

It's almost impossible, how much she looks like her mom – her pretty waves of hair, her green eyes, her nose, her mouth, even the shape of her face. She's her mom in miniature (with her dad's bright, energetic personality and endless love for life).

"Mommy was smart too, right?" Nicole continues.

"Super smart," Rick answers. "She was great at noticing things other people didn't."

"And strong?" Nicole asks. That's a word people always call her mommy, when they tell Nicole about her.

"Yeah. Well, no. Her body was strong, but her mind was even stronger. Your mom was a real tough cookie."

Nicole grins, and continues. "Was she happy?"

It's too innocent a question to have so much weight; tears press on his eyes.

"Oh, honey, she was very happy." Most of the time. "You're happy when you're with Uncle Javi and Uncle Kevin, right?"

A grin spreads across Nicole's face and she giggles. "Yeah. They're silly."

"Yeah, they are, and they made really your mommy happy. And so did Auntie Lanie and Grandpa."

"And you?"

"And me," Rick replies with a lump in his throat. He forces a smile for Nicole's sake.

"And her name was Kate Beckett, right?" Nicole asks. "Not Castle."

"That's right, kiddo," Rick says.

"Daddy, why didn't Mommy wanna be a Castle?"

"Because she liked the name Beckett better." He lies. But it's not like Nicole is old enough to understand.

Nicole nods. "Beckett is a pretty name."

Just then, they reach her grave. Nicole stops, wide eyes taking in the sight. This is all that's left of the nice, beautiful, smart, strong, happy mommy she's heard all about – this hunk of stone.

He can only imagine how crushing that must be for her.

Oh, God, he's an idiot. He should take her home, come back when she's older. Much, much older.

"Mommy," Nicole breathes.

"We can leave if you want," Rick suggests quietly. "Come back another day."

"No, no," Nicole insists, shaking her head like that's the worst thing ever.

Nicole releases Rick's hand.

After a moment of silence, Nicole walks cautiously to the headstone. She sits on her knees and reaches out, starts to trace her mother's name.

"K – A – T – H – E – R – I – N – E," Nicole says softly, then skips the middle name. "B – E – C – K – E – T – T. Right?"

Beckett. B – E – C – K – E – double T. Her voice is still so clear in his mind, even after so many years.

"Yeah," Rick says softly.

Rick walks over to Nicole as her hand falls to her lap. She leans against his leg, neither of them taking their eyes off the grave.

Katherine Houghton Beckett. November 17, 1979 – August 21, 2012. Amor vincit omnia.

Six years. Six years since she left.

He still remembers, with morbid and terrible clarity, every detail of that morning. He'll never forget.

"Daddy?" She says softly.

"Yeah?" He breathes back.

"Why did Mommy leave us?"

Rick's heart twists in his chest at the girl's quiet question. He tears his eyes away from the grave, looking down his daughter.

"She was very sick, sweetheart." He tells her.

The way Kate died is something Rick has yet to tell Nicole. She's too young, he's been telling himself. Too young to understand what cancer is and how it ate away at Kate's brain, taking her strength and spirit before taking her life.

But she's five now. She's old enough to be able to comprehend the simplest details of her mother's illness.

"Sick?" Nicole asks, her voice barely audible.

"She was really sick in her brain." Rick explains.

"She was crazy?" Nicole asks, alarmed, louder than Rick expected. Who the hell told his five-year-old sick in the brain meant crazy?

"No, no, no, honey," he says quickly. "She had this thing called a tumor. I guess - it's - it's sort of like an organ, but it's very, very bad."

"What's an organ?" Nicole's calm again.

"Your brain, your heart, your stomach. They're all organs. A tumor is sort of like an organ, only bad." Kind of. A little. Maybe.

"A bad organ? Like some germs are bad and some are good?" Did she learn that in the school? Clever kid.

"Exactly," Rick says. "And sometimes, tumors just sit there and do nothing. They get removed and it's not a problem. But there are some tumors that have a really bad sickness in them, a sickness called cancer."

"And Mommy had that." Nicole concludes.

"Right," Rick confirms. "She had it in her brain, and that's a really important part of people, isn't it?"

Nicole nods, absorbing all this new information.

They sit in silence as Nicole processes and she wraps her skinny around Rick's leg, holding him tightly. She's always clingy when they talk about Kate, burrows into his chest holding fistfuls of his shirt or wraps her arms around one of his. Not that he minds – he likes having her close when they talk about his wife.

"Do you miss her?" Nicole asks finally.

"Every day," he responds truthfully.

"Me too," Nicole murmurs. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you tell me the story?"

"The story?"

"About Mommy's cancer."

Rick sighs. She always demands the story from him, no exceptions. She's a Castle at heart.

"Alright. It's not a very interesting story, though." There's only so much he can tell her, so little that she'd understand.

"I wanna know," Nicole says, softly stubborn.

"Well, it starts on a cold, rainy night in June –"

"My birthday month?" Nicole cuts him off.

"If you want to hear the story, you can't interrupt." Rick tells her sternly.

"Sorry. It starts on a cold, rainy night in June." Nicole starts the story again for him.

Rick continues, telling Nicole a child-friendly version of what happened to her mother.

He'll never forget the night she told him. They were sitting on the couch, bodies angled toward each other, knees touching.

What's wrong, Kate? She looked more terrified than he'd ever seen; he could see the helplessness and fear in her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

Castle, I . . . I have cancer.

The beginning of the end.

A/N: Review my story, maybe? That doesn't fit. Never mind. Review anyway? I really hope you liked it. More will be coming soon.

P.S. I know you're reading this, Jordann. I know you want to review. :-)

- Ellie