Inevitability

Whether you're referring to someone else's downfall, to your fate, or to the sunrise, you can use the noun inevitability to say that something is just bound to happen. (1)

"3 Days."
I breathe out, but it's not just a plain exhale, it's a sigh of relief? Calm? That cannot be right can it?
It's strange, after finding out you're supposed to die, aren't you supposed to panic? Scream and cry and beg for your existence? Pray to whatever God that your life won't come to an end, not yet, not so soon. If that is the case, why do I feel so much...lighter? I'm not suicidal or anything like that but knowing somehow that I was going to die soon, lifted a weight I didn't even know I'd been carrying.

To be honest I've been ready for death for a while, the greatest people in history have been foiled by being unprepared and I would not become one of them; I refused to. So, knowing I'd be working on the Kira investigation, I prepared myself. Most teenagers; hell most people, avoided thinking about death because they were stupid. They couldn't die. They were too young, too important, too careful to die.
Idiots, all of them.

I prepared mentally because I couldn't escape that thought, that feeling of inevitability. I may be beautiful, I may be a genius, I may be Kira, but I can't change what is destined to happen.
I'd also known my death was soon; L's mood change around me was a large clue.
It was subtle, so fucking subtle that I almost didn't notice the change, but it was there. No arguments or on purpose annoyances from L, the way he talked, his demeanor, his whole aura for god sake screamed there was something wrong; once I'd noticed anyway.

However, I could ignore all that. It was difficult but I could mould it into what I wanted it to be, another quirk, L was just feeling a little depressed for no important reason...stuff like that.
But then came the last straw; the final nail in the coffin (pardon the pun.)
L's name.

That name flew around my head and pressed into my brain, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet, L Lawliet.
It's kinda sad. Even after everything that had happened between us, L would only tell me his name if he knew I wouldn't have the chance to use it as the Kira he thought I was. The only way L could be 100% sure of that is, my death.
So everything fell into place in front of me and finally, I understood.

L Lawliet. I love your name, the way it sounds, the way it is just so...you. Oh God, listen to me, I'm turning into a teenage cliché. I wonder how I can joke about this right now, 3 days left of life and I'm cracking jokes. Something I never did anyway.

Where was I?
Oh yes, L Lawliet, you were confused wasn't you? I could see it in your eyes, the way I broke the silence in a hushed tone and spoke your name aloud to you. The way I eyed you hungrily as we walked, bit at your soft neck, pushed you into the double bed we shared and fucked you into oblivion.
I don't think you were expecting that.

It was something I had wanted to do for a very long time L, before whatever we had started, maybe it was to do with control, having power over the only person I had ever considered my equal. Sex was a good a way as any to assert your dominance over another so I started small. Acted extra angry, extra hurt when you were being a dick. Then I kissed you. In the park, at HQ, whenever we were alone really. I wanted to take you but I didn't. I wasn't scared; Light Yagami doesn't do scared. I just wasn't prepared for the consequences if we didn't work out or you rejected me or you came to your senses and realised you were getting it from (who you thought was) a mass murderer.

However, L Lawliet, I don't need to worry about consequences anymore do I? 3 days. Roughly 36 hours.
I set out to fuck you for power and domination, not because I need
you and not because I feel anything deeper for you, but you don't know that.

I looked at you L with cold eyes, because now, now is not the time for emotions. I turned away from L and walked out of the room, dragging L along behind me. We had work to do and (for now at least) life goes on.

AN:/ Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed. ^^ Just a quick note today, when I wrote this chapter I felt like absolute shit but I was determined to get this chapter out at the time I'd stated in review answers. So, if there are more mistakes than usual I am sorry but that is why. That is also why this is a little shorter than my chapters usually are.
Please Review, Fave and Follow Guys x

BN:/So many mistakes...so many corrections...

(1) www . vocabulary . co (m) /dictionary/ inevitability