The first time Shepard had died, it had been far from peaceful. She had been awake and aware, struggling to bring oxygen to her lungs and hold on to life. This time was a little calmer. The voice in her head that said "you're dying" was whispering, not screaming. She didn't feel the urge to do anything. Rather, she just felt like going to sleep.

After activating the Crucible, there had been a flash of light. Shepard didn't remember anything after that. She woke up with a start and struggled to take in a deep breath. Shepard was buried underneath rubble. It was dark and dusty. She felt lightheaded and weak, and she was simultaneously numb and in pain.

Somehow she had lived. Shepard didn't get her hopes up though. She knew she had major internal injuries and wasn't going to make it much longer.

"Got them," she whispered to herself. Shepard managed to smile at that. Then she began to grimace as she thought about the Normandy and her crew.

Garrus, her right-hand man who had gone on that final approach with her. He had been by her side through everything. Liara, an amazing friend and great scientist. Tali, the tech expert who had started to step into her own. Joker, the best pilot and resident smart ass anyone could ask for. And all of the rest… she hoped that the Normandy was safe somewhere.

Shepard thought of Kaidan. She had left him with Garrus after he got hurt as they approached the beam. She had said her final goodbye to him. She knew that was likely to be the last time they saw each other. The way he looked at her when she backed away from the Normandy dock- it had broken her heart. Shepard hoped he wasn't seriously hurt. She loved him deeply and wished that he would be able to quickly recover physically and emotionally from this.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. She considered not yelling because perhaps there was someone else they could save who had a better shot of living than her. Then she thought that Kaidan and the others would be fairly upset if she didn't at least try to save herself.

"Over here!" She screamed as loud as she could, but it was still faint.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, it was coming from over there."

Shepard heard the footsteps approach.

"We're going to get you outta here!"

"Hold on!"

The weight of the debris began to lessen, and soon enough she was able to breathe better and look up to see her rescuers: two Alliance Marines.

"Shit, it's Shepard!"

She smiled, but began to panic as she felt her breathing get raspy suddenly. Her eyes went wide as she gasped.

"Ma'am, ma'am, what's going on? Hold on!"

Shepard blacked out.

Kaidan woke up with a start. He had been dreaming of when he said goodbye to Shepard. Garrus was holding him up, and he wouldn't let Kaidan budge. He knew he couldn't go with her because he would slow her down, but he did not want to leave her. He left her on the first Normandy, and that had not ended well. Kaidan was determined to be there this time no matter what, and yet it did not happen.

Dr. Michel had him in the med bay. When he first got pulled onto the Normandy, he had wanted to go sit with Joker or stand with Traynor so he could know what was going on. He had managed to make it to Joker in the cockpit and overheard the orders to leave Earth. Kaidan was silent, completely in shock. The Normandy rattled and rocked as it escaped. The ship was plummeting, crashing, and hitting solid ground. Kaidan was thrown against the wall. He was dazed and confused. Where were they? Did they just really leave? Garrus dragged him to the med bay where Dr. Michel and Liara were. They helped Garrus put Kaidan on a bed.

"I'm alright, I'm alright. I need to be up on deck." Kaidan tried to get up before Liara gently pressed him down.

"You need to lay down, Kaidan. Let Dr. Michel examine your injuries."

"I need to be with the crew right now!" Kaidan struggled against Dr. Michel's and Liara's hands that were trying to hold him down.

"Major, you are bleeding from multiple shrapnel wounds and who knows what else. I need to examine you before you do anything else. Do you want to put your life in jeopardy?"

Kaidan was bound and determined to be on deck. He needed to know what was going on with the Reapers and Shepard. He wanted to yell at Joker for leaving Earth, for leaving her. He was going to get up even if he had to use his biotics to push the two of them away. He started to glow lightly.

"Kaidan!" Liara shouted.

And then he felt the prick of a needle in his arm. He turned to see Dr. Michel injecting him with something.

"What are you doing?" Kaidan commanded, his voice slurring slightly. Everything started to get fuzzy, and he fell back onto the bed.

"Sorry, Major."

Then blackness. And now here he was. The med bay was empty except for Dr. Michel sitting at her desk. Things looked jostled: books on the floor, jars of medical tools knocked over. Kaidan tried to stand up, but he was dizzy. He was a little achy, and he saw that he had some new stitches put in.

"I wouldn't recommend getting up," Dr. Michel chastised.

Kaidan sighed, but continued putting himself together. "What happened?"

"Well, we left Earth, and from what I've heard, we landed on a possibly uncharted planet somewhere. The crew has begun to explore it. The air is breathable, there is light from a sun, and what appears to be water and vegetation. That's the good news."

"And the bad?"

"You might want to check with the others about that. They know more. But I do know that you suffered a mild concussion and some external and internal injuries, which I have tried to repair to the best of my abilities. I would like you to rest here, but I realize I may be asking too much of you. And I think it might be good for morale if you go up and speak with your crew."

Kaidan nodded. He didn't like the fact that they were somewhere off the map, but he was glad they had made it. Kaidan was anxious about that bad news, but he knew he was now the commanding officer and needed to take control.

He walked out of the med bay. The halls of the Normandy were mostly deserted. The emergency lights were on, but daylight was pouring in from the docking area doors. Kaidan held up a hand to block the blaring light from his eyes and stepped through the door frame.

It looked like the entire Normandy crew was out there. Most of them turned to look at Kaidan when they saw him step out onto the ground.

"Major?" Garrus asked hesitantly.

Kaidan motioned to Garrus and pulled him to the side so they could have a private conversation.

"What's going on, Garrus?"

"Well, as you've probably noticed, we've crashed on this planet. Kind of reminds me of Virmire, but our research has not concluded where we are. It has water, light, and vegetation, all good signs. And no crew members were seriously injured in the crash."

"That's good, but I know everything's not all sunshine and rainbows."

"Ha. Well, the ship appears to be non-functional at this point in time. We can't start the engines. Communications are offline. There's also been some loss of power. EDI is not... alive. Not functioning. We can't figure it out."

"Great," Kaidan muttered sarcastically. His heart sunk when he heard that the engines were dead and communications were offline. He desperately needed to hear of Shepard's fate. It felt cruel to be left in the dark. His gut told him Shepard was not alive, but he could not dwell on that thought or he would crumble. The Normandy needed him.

He turned away and went to address the crew that was gathered. Garrus reached out and put his talon on Kaidan's arm.

"Kaidan, about the Commander-"

Kaidan brushed Garrus off of him. "With all respect, Garrus, I can't talk about this right now."

Kaidan tried to maintain his composure. Breathe in, breathe out. He gulped as he looked out on all of the eager faces. What would Shepard do?