For some reason I was in the strangest mood to write a story of Renji and Ichigo after listening to some Loveholic and Sam Tsui

. Genre will be Yaoi, but mostly Shounen Ai

. The rating is 'M' due to language and future themes

I hope this turns out as good as I want it. Wish me luck guys c:

Time After Time

[x1x]

It was a chilling type of day that left him shivering as he sat, which was expected and slightly justified seeing as it was winter. Still, Renji hated the cold, and he hated that he had to sit out and wait.
He hated the stares he'd receive from both the men and women who walked the busy Karakura streets- whether the glances were positive or negative, he didn't care, he hated it. He especially hated the bench he sat on, it was so cold and rigid that it was actually making his ass hurt.. He wanted to stand, but he also hated doing that. He hated how time seemed to pass ever so slowly, and he hated the fact that the snow in town started to pile up.. He hated how things were getting colder the more he sat, and he hated all these goddamn stares!

He groaned eyeing a woman and her boyfriend who passed, before shoving his hand into the pocket of his burgundy jacket to pull out his cell. As soon as that action was done, he began scrolling through his contacts- though there weren't that many to begin with.. He hated that too.

He hated everything at the moment to be honest.

Groaning as he found the number he wanted, he clicked, scrolled and maneuvered his cell to send a call, afterward pulling his phone to his ear.

A few rings sounded making Abarai grunt, but as soon as the phone picked up, he jerked- putting on his angry face and speaking before anyone else could.

"-Hello! How are you? Me? I'm fine!" he muttered quickly. "I'm just sitting here, waiting for you at the bus-stop like you told me to! Everyone's looking at me like I'm retarded or have something on my face and I'm seconds from punching someone! Where are you?"

Abarai listened closely, jerking as he immediately stood from his bench and sprinted off.

He was at the wrong place.. Go figure.

.

Dashing around town and cutting corners, Renji made it to the park where hardly anyone gravitated. There really wasn't a need to during this time of year.. It was freezing and always snowing so people weren't in the mood for picnics or playing around.. The only people who seemed to still walk amongst the area, were avid joggers, couples and people who just wanted to cut through the area.

Renji groaned as he realized he was in a completely different category- He was one of those people that apparently liked to hang out at the park no matter what time of year it was..

"Goddammit.." he groaned as he walked through the area, already figuring he was going to sit on another frigid bench.

He mentally prepped himself for that, as he glanced around the area- spotting bare trees that sported snow, a fountain just a distance ahead, and a figure in yellow that made Abarai hurry to.

Approaching in less than 30 seconds, Renji ran over, spotting his friend Ichigo, sporting the yellow jacket Stevie Wonder could spot from a distance. He was texting and assumibly distracted, considering he didn't greet Renji at all..
It was fine though, Renji didn't feel like talking. Instead he sat, staring at the fountain in front of him that even birds didn't want to be around. God this place was so bare.. he hated that. He would've rather preferred it if Ichigo told him to meet up at a cafe or tiny shop- somewhere where it would've been warmer than this..

"Renji! Glad you made it!" Ichigo voiced making Abarai flinch. "-Sorry for the mishap earlier!"

"Yeah whatever.. What's up with that jacket?"

"Hm?" Ichigo blinked looking down at himself. "Whats wrong with it."

"You look like a fucking skittle."

"What! No I don't! This is my favorite coat Abarai! Respect it!"

"Okay okay, will you stop shouting.." he sighed, making Kurosaki jerk.

"Hey.. My bad."

He shook his head and waved his words off in response- trying to be cool. "Why'd you call me out here of all times.. I was actually pre-occupied with something, y'know.."

"Obviously not, seeing as you dropped it all to come here." Ichigo spoke dulling his glance.

"Tch-"

"I just called you out here because I was bored. I've got nothing to do today."

"I still don't see what that has to do with me, Kurosaki."

"What do you want me to do? Spell it out for you? I've got nothing to do, so lets hang out!"

Renji dismissed that statement as he cut his glance from the boy. Of all the things he hated, he had to say that hanging out with Kurosaki was what he hated the most. He was such a bother.. Whining and yet, somewhat bragging about how there was apparently nothing he could do with himself for the day and attempting to latch onto Abarai in order to find something to do, only to later complain about how he missed his girlfriend and loved her so much.. That part always made Renji cringe.

He and Ichigo were the same age, 24, both attended the same college and just so happened to be in the same classes. They started out as acquaintances, friends to another friend, but because of their somewhat corresponding schedules, they both grew to be friends themselves- rather close friends, matter of fact.. Though Renji always held a bit of repentance toward that.
Because the two had become 'buds', Renji seemed to fall into this supportive role of a character when it came down to it, because come to find out, Ichigo was always in relationship troubles- so it was Abarai's job to make him feel better and do what 'bros' do when other 'bros' are down.. he hated that...

Why?

He loved Ichigo of course..
But he could never say it, how could he when he knew the man he cared for was straight and had absolutely no clue he was gay?

Though they were close, Renji had never openly admitted that fact to him- a thing he had always gritted his teeth about but found every reason to keep to himself.
He came out to his parents at the age of 18, and because of that he was forced to leave and make a living for himself.. which was fine in a sense. Due to that drastic change in his life he had grown to be independent and self sufficient, however.. he has no family..
He would've hated to come out to Kurosaki and watch him shun him as well..

Abarai could already feel his heart somewhat stopping as he thought about it.

"Renji! Hey!"

" ! "

"What're you doing spacing out on me like that? I actually had something important to say-"

Renji only stared as the man across him ranted, still thinking of his earlier thoughts and wandering others that he had almost forgotten about. For a split second he thought of the first time he met him- at a pub just downtown, where local drunks and fellow college students who thought they were cool would go to for a drink. Only then and there, did his friend introduce him to Ichigo, a boy of whom he learned over time, was very personable, held a warm demeanor and sported eyes that didn't hold any bit of judgement behind them..

Such a memory only made Renji stare harder, as Kurosaki continued to speak beside him- all of his words unknowingly falling upon Abarai's temporarily deaf ears. All the man could do was recall other memories of Ichigo and their friendship, eventually rekindling the moment he had fallen for him..
When the two had gotten closer after awhile, the friend that had forced their meet had a birthday gathering to which they had joined and ultimately gotten drunk to- well not Renji.. If anything Abarai was the only one at the celebration who could hold his liquor. Ichigo however.. not so much.

Drunk, hardly observant and a total mess, Kurosaki was knocking back beers, sitting on a couch to which he surprisingly had a hard time keeping his balance on even though he was sitting- leaving responsible Renji to snatch his drinks and tell him to stop, to which Ichigo drunkenly replied with..

"H-Hey..y... D..Do you hate myy name?"

Renji could recall being so utterly confused to that question, but answered it honestly.

"-Can't say that I do."

He remembered, Ichigo laughing hysterically, like he had heard the most hilarious joke in life, then carelessly fell on the mans shoulder, calming down a bit..

"Y-You're.. so niice.. thatss why I love you, Renji.."

It was an inebriated comment, something that should've been forgotten, ignored and left in the air of booze that surrounded them.. but instead, it was something that Abarai had never allowed himself to forget since that day.
Hearing Ichigo say that, only made Abarai recall feeling butterflies, and wanting to act, to press on that sentence and question if Ichigo truely meant that.. But he didn't want to scare him away. He knew that if he had actually lost Ichigo, he'd probably lose his mind. And so, with that memory, Renji came to the absolute conclusion that he would never come out to Kurosaki.. He couldn't risk losing someone so precious.. but it hurt.. it always did.

The man groaned shutting his eyes, however flinched feeling slushed ice smack his face. Glaring, he looked to Ichigo who was rolling up another snowball, making Abarai hold up a shielding arm.

"What the hell! What're you doing!"

"You weren't listening.."

"Yes I was! I heard everything you said!"

"Oh really?" Ichigo mused before raising a brow. "So what exactly did I say about the movie I saw last week?"

"-You said it sucked." Renji lied, guessed, and articulated.

He knew the only thing Ichigo watched were chick flicks, and come on.. those weren't exactly action packed or anything..

Ichigo lowered his eyes throwing the other snowball at him, straight in the face, making the red-head hiss and wipe the ice away.

"-I never saw a movie last week.. You really weren't listening, liar."

"Okay I wasn't listening! But it's not like you were saying anything interesting in the first place!"

Ichigo flinched before glaring. "I'm coming up with something exciting for us to do, and you're saying that's not interesting!"

"Tch- I can find something exciting to do by myself.."

"Ohh! Look everyone! Renji's being so cool right now!" Ichigo shouted to the empty park, before scoffing at the man. "You're such an ass.."

"Whatever.. Shouldn't you be hanging out with your girlfriend or something?" he questioned, secretly swallowing vomit.

Ichigo was just about to respond, until his cellphone buzzed and beeped. Distracted, and partily excited, he dug into his pocket and scrolled to around to find what he was looking for, leaving Abarai to roll his eyes.

"..She's so cute." Ichigo chuckled reading a text making Renji sigh.

"Your girlfriend?"

Ichigo childishly nodded in response as he focused on composing his own message, making Renji secretly fume. He loved her so much that Abarai couldn't help but be angry. Ichigo and his girlfriend.. In Abarai's personal opinion, their relationship was a rollercoaster. If everything seemed fine and dandy one minute, then it was destroyed and depressing the next- One day they're about to get married, and then the next they wanted space to breathe..

Renji could only grunt and stare into the gray sky and falling ice, as he instantly thought of Kurosaki's confusing need to get with that girl. He was so adamant in making their crazy-stupid-fucked up relationship work that it was kind of ridiculous. Renji truely believed that Ichigo could have done better- he could've found better. In his honest opinion, Ichigo needed someone who understood him, wanted to be around him, supported him and pushed him if need be.. Not a whiny, bratty girl that felt she needed to be supported even though she didn't do anything, and figured parties and shopping were more important than a serious relationship..

Ichigo's girlfriend was a menace, someone of whom Renji just couldn't bring himself to like. He barely knew her to be honest, but he felt he didn't have to for all the times he had been with Ichigo during his down time, after being crushed by her.

She would make him so angry at times, make him stress and actually cry.. and all Renji could do was be there for him. Nothing more.. nothing less..

This irritated Abarai, because he knew Ichigo deserved better than that! The only problem was Kurosaki didn't figure that for himself.. He was like those people that felt the need to stay in a shitty relationship because it was the right thing to do, or because they were too afraid to move on to someone else.. It was sad.. and Renji hated that..

"So where is she?" he questioned aloud still staring at the sky, making Ichigo smile.

"She flew to Hawaii for a week. Apparently its a lot warmer there than it is here in Karakura."

"She went there by herself now of all times? That's kind of weird.." he pointed out skeptical.

"She had planned the trip when we were taking a break." Kurosaki explained before leaning onto Abarai and chuckling. "-Look, she's not wearing winter clothing or anything. It must be pretty warm over there.."

Abarai tensed, feeling how surprisingly warm Ichigo's presence was, but decided to distract himself from his feel as he glanced at the boys phone.
It must've indeed been warmer in Hawaii, considering Kurosaki's girlfriend was wearing hacked jean shorts, a baggy pink shirt that said 'Aloha' on it, and stood on the sands of the island just a ways away from her phone with both hands sporting the peace sign..

Ugh.. she tried so hard to be cute, and the sad thing about it was she had people like Ichigo fooled..

He groaned inaudibly, still glancing at the irritating picture, but spoke as he felt he was silent for too long..

"...She's not holding her phone.." Abarai pointed out before raising a brow. "So one of her friends went with her?"

Ichigo slumped slightly, but was sure to sit up and take away his warmth from Renji as he pulled away and smile weakly- leaving Abarai cold for two reasons.

He said nothing though, just watched Ichigo put his phone away and nod to him, focusing on answering the question at hand. "Yeah.. I already told you the trip had been pre-planned.. so.. she had someone going with her."

Renji didn't want to ask who, considering he already knew. Just 2 weeks ago, during Ichigo and his girlfriends so called 'break', Kurosaki found out that she had been dating some older dude named Gin. Abarai had never personally met the guy, but he must've been sweet and rich considering, Ichigo's girl had always kinda ran to him whenever they had a falling out, only to return with new clothes and jewelry and other junk when things got better...

He figured this had to be a tough thing to swallow for Ichigo, but he stayed silent, all the while thinking of something positive to say about this..

He just couldn't though.. It was in his nature to be blunt and brash.

"She's cheating on you again." he spoke making the boy flinch.

"Th..That's not true." Kurosaki denied while sporting a weary smile. "She already had that trip planned with him so.. they had to go."

"She could've easily had you sitting in his seat on that plane, rather than leave you here in the icebox of a town." Renji spoke before glancing away. "..You're so stupid.. If I was you, I would've already kicked that guys ass and then told her everything was over."

Kurosaki shook his head. "-We're trying to make everything right again, and the only way things can get better is if I trust her... She won't do anything.. I know it."

"Ichigo!-"

"Renji please.." he cut off, still sporting that worn out smile. "-I really do appreciate your concern.. but I've got to work on this on my own." he spoke, laughing just so the conversation wouldn't be awkward or tense.

This was another thing Renji hated, but had to cope with. Ichigo was so delusional..

"-I know it's a hard thing to understand but that's just how we are, Renji!" Kurosaki laughed, pulling the man into a headlock. "Just promise me when shit hits the fan you'll be there for me!"

Abarai twitched to his warmth again, but glanced away nodding. "...Right."

Ichigo was delusional, and Renji could do nothing but be there for him..

Abarai flinched as Ichigo pulled him closer, laughing into his ear as he faced his phone to them and smiled.

"Lets show her that she isn't the only one having fun! Karakura isn't all that bad in the cold!"

"Not so close!" Renji snapped feeling himself get butterflies.

The sound of a camera clicker sounded from Ichigo's phone, allowing him to let go of Renji and hastily send a text to his girlfriend, leaving Abarai cold again as he stared at the boy.

Ichigo.. was indeed delusional.. trying to bend his life to the whim of a woman who didn't care for him.. while Renji could only sit by and watch..

"Hey, we should go out to drink! Call Ikkaku and tell him to buy a whole bunch of beer!"

"So you can send a drunken mess of a picture to your girl? I think not." Renji uttered- pushing back rekindling memories.

"Renji!"

"Ichigo.."

"RENJI!"

"Ichigo.."

"Asshole!"

"Idiot."

"Jer- Huh? Ha, she texts back fast!" Kurosaki laughed, distracted.

And so, Abarai was left to watch the amused boy send his messages while he watched and said nothing.

Ichigo planned on getting drunk tonight- not to show his girlfriend that he was having fun, but to cope with the fact that she might've been cheating on him again, and there was nothing Renji could do to stop him. The only thing he was allowed to do was wait till Kurosaki drank himself into a stupor and pleaded for some help home- that or a wastebasket.
That was his job, nothing more, nothing less.. He had to do this from time to time because he was Ichigo's only support system, the only person who understood him, his best friend..

He wondered though, if he'd be able to control himself and stay the 'good friend' time after time..