Title: The Difference Between the Lightning and the Lightning Bug
Author: Meret
Category: Humor, Slash
Rating: R
Summary: Lex and Clark discuss word choice.
Disclaimer: These characters are owned by the WB, and Gough
Millar. No profit or infringement is intended.
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.geocities.com/meretsv/
This was inspired by a discussion at TWoP. Though after they read
it, they may want to deny any and all knowledge.
Thank you to my incredible beta reader Tarchannon. Any errors are
mine alone.

The Difference Between the Lightning and the Lightning-Bug
by Meret


"Clark, lift your legs up for a minute."

"Mmmmm."

Lex laughed slightly, pleased. Clark was sprawled out like the
centerfold version of the Illustrated Man, and his expression looked
like the Cheshire Cat on ecstasy. Lex couldn't resist kissing him
again, still greedy for more - more taste, more touch, more Clark.
He deepened the kiss, pushing inside those incredible lips, teasing
and stroking his mouth. He now knew the person beside him inside
out, and it still wasn't enough. Giving one final suck on his tongue,
Lex pulled back and sat up in the bed with regret. "I know you said
you were okay but I want to check."

"Check what?" Clark said opening his eyes. The rest of him
remained blissfully still.

"Your anus. That was considerably rougher than I'd planned for
your first time."

Clark winced, looking uncomfortable.

"What? Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine."

Reassured, Lex propped up on one elbow, and looked at him
lingeringly, noticing the resulting blush with interest.

"It's just," Clark hesitated, blushing even more. "Do you have to
use that word?"

"Actually, that was the least offensive choice I could think of.
What would you prefer I use?" He glided his hand lightly down
Clark's side, watching him shiver in response.

"I don't know. Just something less . . . like health class."

"There's the ubiquitous hole," he said, appearing to consider the
matter. "But that always sounded like I was going spelunking.
Rosebud is another, but I'm really not the Barbara Cartland Goes
Gay type. Besides, that makes me think of Orson Welles, which
spoils the mood entirely. Would you prefer shit chute? I've never
cared for it myself, but growing up on a farm, perhaps you --"

"Lex!"

Lex had never thought someone could literally burst into flames
from blushing, but this was Smallville after all. He should stop if
he didn't want to take any chances. But teasing Clark was just too
much fun. He swallowed his amusement and leaned back,
positioning his pillow against the headboard. The only way Lex
would get through this with a straight face was if he stopped
touching him. He wasn't skilled in repressing happiness; the
opportunities to practice had been rare. "There's always ring piece,
canetta, assterisk, back door, or bosco boulevard. Darkstar sounds like I'm
fucking an elf. I refuse to call it your bun-bun, gee-gee, or worse
yet, your starfish of love. And saying mangina would make me
laugh so hard I wouldn't be in any condition to --"

"*Mangina?* You're making that up." Clark peered out from
behind the pillow he had clutched over his face somewhere around
bosco boulevard.

"I swear on my father's life," he said, raising his right hand.

Clark rolled his eyes, unimpressed.

"You still haven't proposed any alternatives, I notice."

Clark ducked under Lex's arm to rest against his chest. He rubbed
his cheek back and forth gently, enjoying the feel of Lex's skin.
"What's wrong with plain old ass hole? Or does that make you
think about needing a helmet light too?"

"Ass hole." Lex swirled the words in his mouth with the
concentration of a grand champion wine taster. "Assss hooole. It
lacks that je ne sais quoi in the area of description. However, the 's'
in ass is nicely hissable in extremes of passion, and the 'o' in hole is
ideal for moaning." He felt Clark vibrate against him with soft
laughter "I accept your proposition."

"I thought you did that earlier," he joked.

Lex ignored the comment and continued. "Now may I please see
your *ass hole?*"

"I don't know. We'll have to negotiate. What do I get for it?"
Clark's eyes sparkled as he grinned up at him.

Lex smiled slowly. "That depends. How do you feel about the word
rimming?


End

"The difference between the right word and the almost-right word
is the difference between the lightning and the lightning-bug."
Mark Twain


Author's Notes:
The name Rosebud is pivotal in the movie Citizen Kane
by Orson Welles.
This story is set in 2005.