Hello, lovely readers! It's been a while hasn't it? I apologize. I actually have a reason for running out on you like I did, but I'm really sorry that I couldn't let you know what was going on before disappearing for several months.

You see (you probably shouldn't read this if you're easily disturbed by depressing stuff), I've been depressed. I was diagnosed with major depression when I was nine, but lately it's been really bad. I lost a friend of mine under odd circumstances four years ago and because of those odd circumstances I was never able to grieve his death...

So I've been living it.

I know that doesn't make much sense, and I can't exactly explain it all out without telling the entire story which would take much too long. Just know that lately (even though it's been four years now) I couldn't handle it anymore. I stopped going to school this year... like I just stopped in the middle of the semester, I started sleeping all the time and am actually writing this now because I can't sleep anymore, I threw away most of my stuff aside from my books, I stopped talking to people, and I (obviously) stopped writing and reading. I pretty much hit rock bottom.

But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

The great thing about rock bottom is that once you hit it, there's nowhere else to go but up. And that's what I did.

It was hard at first. Actually, rock bottom consisted of a couple of train tracks and a trip to the hospital, but I'm starting to get better. I know now that I can't hang on to my friend anymore. He's gone, and there was never anything I could have done to change that. I can't keep pretending he's alive, I can't keep blaming the world for taking him away from me, and I can't let his death take my life. He wouldn't have wanted that. He would have wanted me to remember the good times, not just the train that ended them.

So, what I'm trying to say here is this: life is hard. It's sucky a lot of the time and crazy the rest of the time, but we've only got one of it. Life is what we make it. Our Heartless are only as big as we let them be, so don't let them get to you the way I let mine get to me. NOTHING is worth killing yourself over, no matter how impossible living may feel.

If any of you guys ever feel the need to talk, please know you can always PM me. I know I come across pretty silly most of the time, but you'd be surprised at most of the things I've experienced. Even if you just want someone to listen, I'll be there. Okay?

Also, if you're at that point I was- if you're at those tracks- you can always call an emergency number and ask to be admitted to your local psychiatric hospital. I know that sounds scary (believe me, I know), but it really does help when you've got nothing left. And it's not some sort of creepy insane asylum filled with doll heads or anything stupid like that, it's just a safe place to go when the rest of the world becomes more than you can handle. Besides, it's better to go of your own free will than to be forced to go because of a failed suicide attempt. Just something to consider.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful to at least one of you. If not, then I hope you all can forgive my absence and really long, non-related author's note. I love you all and I want you to know that I have no intention of abandoning you. I'm recovering now and want to live.

Thank you,

~Juicy Pear

PS. (Since I know a number of you kept reading for the following information) I'm not entirely sure what's happening with Daily Life. I really, really want to continue it, but I can't make any promises at the moment due to the circumstances. Writing is still difficult for me and I'm trying to work my way back up to where I was, but that's going to take time.

In the meantime, I'd encourage you guys to find other interesting things to read and possibly start up a few new fun fanfics of your own. I'll try my best to be a writer again, but it would be unfair of me to ask you to wait for me.

Thank you all for being such loyal readers!