The next morning while Santana was out running errands Rachel decided it would be fun to call Kurt in a major panic. She told him they needed to talk about something very important so he came rushing over when he heard her crying over the phone. When he got there he was greeted by Rachel with tears streaming down her face.
"Oh my god, what's wrong?"
Rachel was hiccuping through sobs. "Santana told me last night she didn't want to be with Rachel Berry anymore!"
"What?! And on your anniversary?! I'll kill her! Or maybe go down to a lesbian bar and pay a really butch one to kill her for me since I'm fragile. How could this happen?!"
Rachel, still hiccuping. "I know! She told me she wanted to be with..." And then Rachel stopped crying completely, smiled, showed Kurt her hand and screamed, "Rachel Lopez!"
"Who is Rachel Lopez? Is that the new girl in tap dance class?"
Rachel's smiled faded into a serious look. "It's me, you idiot. I'm going to be Rachel Lopez. Santana asked me to marry her and I said yes."
"Oh thank god. I thought I was going to have to pay a lesbian to kill two people. You Ryan Seacrested me again! This is amazing! Can I be your maid of honor? I'll wear a disgusting pukey pink dress for you."
Rachel screamed again and hugged him close. "I'm not gonna lie, I'd actually pay good money to see that."
Santana came home and Kurt ran over to hug her too.
"Oh well this is new. I take it Rachel told you."
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to propose?!"
"Because you spoiled us liking each other and you spoiled me being in love with her, I wasn't about to risk letting you spoil this."
Kurt stepped back and nodded. "You know, that actually is kind of sweet that you wanted to keep it a surprise. And to think the other day Finn said he cant believe Rachel settled for you. If only he knew how loving you are."
"Unacceptable!"
Rachel ran over to Santana and Santana pushed her back gently, seeming suddenly calm. "No. I'm okay. I'm not going to Hulk up. I'm too happy to care what he thinks. If Finn was hanging from a cliff and all he needed was a fuck to save his life, and I was standing at the top with a duffel bag full of fucks, I still wouldn't give one."
Kurt tilted his head. "Aww. That's like, Santana Poetry."
Santana moved over to sit on the couch and cuddle next to Rachel and Kurt took a seat in his chair. "I cant believe you guys are getting married. Does this mean I need to stop barging in here all the time?"
Santana smirked at him. "You needed to stop doing that before we were even dating. This is not your apartment."
"All my stuff is here."
"Because you brought it all here! There isn't a reason in the world why there should be after-shave in our bathroom."
"I don't see either of you complaining about the kiwi strawberry body wash I left here."
Rachel smiled. "It makes me smell pretty."
Santana kissed Rachel's head. "Everything is just so perfect. I have to admit there was a part of me that was scared that once you saw Finn you'd want to be with him again."
Rachel looked shocked and then smiled. "Don't be ridiculous. Your boobs are so much nicer than his are."
They all shared a laugh and Kurt spoke up. "Speaking of Finn, he and Brittany are on their way here to say goodbye before heading back to Lima."
Santana sits back and whispers. "Shhh. You hear that? It's the sound of no one caring."
Rachel swatted at her arm. "Don't be like that. Don't even pretend like you weren't at least happy to see Brittany again."
"I was. But she's part of my past. We'll always be friends but you're my future now."
"Aww! I'm so happy to hear you say that. For days I was having secret panic attacks in the bathroom that you'll leave me for her. Until you proposed. Then I was like hell yeah, suck on that Brittany!"
Kurt leaned over and gave Rachel a high five. "You go girl."
Santana laughs. Then there is a knock at the door and Kurt yells at them to come in. Santana mouths to him "not your apartment."
Finn and Brittany walk in and say hi and Rachel points to them. "Hell yeah, suck on that Brittany!"
Brittany tilted her head in confusion. "Suck on what?"
Santana gently slapped Rachel in the back of the head. "Nothing. We have news though. Rachel and I are getting married."
Brittany bounced excitedly. "Oh my god yay! To who?"
Finn nodded. "Yeah, weren't you two dating yesterday?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "Each other, you guys. I'm marrying Rachel. We're engaged."
Finn and Brittany both nodded at the realization of how much sense that made. Then Brittany started clapping. "That is so cool."
Finn leaned over the back of the couch. "There is something I need to say because we're all thinking it anyway. I've slept with both of you. Did I turn you guys gay?"
Kurt slowly shook his head. "No one was thinking that."
Santana looked up at him. "Yes, Finn. Sex with you is just so bad that it kills the desire to be with men completely."
Rachel gently tapped her arm. "I'm not gay, Finn. I'm bisexual. I always have been. In fact I told you that when we were dating."
Finn smirked. "I know but I thought you were just saying that to turn me on."
Santana gave him a disgusted look. "You're gross, tacky, and I hate you."
Brittany was still excited. "So you're like me then?"
Rachel nodded. "Yes. You can go ahead and jot that down as officially the only thing you and I have in common."
Brittany pulls out her planner and on October 10th writes 'Rachel and me bond as bisexicals' and shows it to Rachel.
Rachel nods. "Close enough."
Brittany turned to Santana. "Can we talk privately for a minute?"
Santana nodded, "sure," and they walked into the spare bedroom.
"I just want to say I'm really happy for you. I'm glad everything worked out and seeing you so happy makes me feel really good."
Santana smiled. "I really appreciate that. I am so happy and it's because of the last person I ever thought could make me feel this way. Rachel is so amazing and I imagine our kids playing in this room some day."
"That's really sweet. I can't wait to tell everyone back home. They're gonna freak."
They hug and then walk back into the living room.
Finn grabbed Brittany's hand. "Well we need to head to the airport. Congratulations. Maybe we'll see you both back in Lima over the holidays?"
Santana nodded. "Maybe. And I do mean maybe. Don't write that down as a yes in that little planner of yours."
Brittany laughed. "I'll make sure to start saving money to help fill that bedroom full of toys for the kids Santana wants playing in it."
Santana blushed as Rachel looked to her and whispered softly, "kids?"
Santana just shrugged and Rachel smiled.
They all hugged, said their goodbyes and left. Santana grabbed a couple bags of Sweet Chili Doritos and some diet cokes out of the fridge. The three of them sat in their usual spots watching an America's Next Top Model marathon.
Kurt turned to look towards the girls. "It's kind of weird yet pretty cool that you just got engaged and the three of us still just veg out in front of the tv like this is any other day."
Santana nodded. "You cant help but appreciate the 'same shit different day' our lives have become."
Rachel took a sip of soda and agreed. "Lets be real here though. The only thing that's changed is my hand is heavier now that I got this rock on it." She put her hand up to show it off again.
They all laughed and Santana leaned in to kiss Rachel. "I love you."
"Love you too."
Santana kissed her again then looked at Kurt. "And besides even you said it. Rachel and I have been acting like a married couple for months now anyway. I've thought of her as my wife for a long time. This ring is just a formality."
Rachel got a little teary eyed and threw her arms around Santana's neck and she held on to her waist. "I love you so much."
Kurt tilted his head and smiled at them before turning back to the tv. Just then there was a knock at the door. Santana and Rachel looked confused but then Kurt got up, reached over and grabbed $20 out of Santana's purse, opened the door and greeted what appeared to be a pizza delivery guy. He paid for the pizza then sat back down in his chair and started eating a slice. Santana watched him the whole time with her jaw hanging.
"Oh fucking unacceptable!"
Santana jumped up and started chasing Kurt around the apartment and into the spare bedroom. Rachel laid down on the couch and shoved another dorito in her mouth while watching tv and ignoring them.
Kurt yelled from the room. "Rachel! She's gonna kill me! Why aren't you calming her down?!"
Rachel yelled back, "you kind of deserve this one!" She sat up and looked behind her as she yelled towards Santana, "hey baby, don't hit him in the face! He can't be deformed before the wedding!"
Santana dragged Kurt out of the bedroom in a headlock and smiled towards Rachel. "Sure thing, babe." Then she put her angry face back on and pushed him back into the room.
Rachel turned the volume up on the tv to muffle the screams.
*15 Minutes Later*
Kurt is sitting in the chair with a bag of peas over his eye and a busted lip.
Rachel frowned. "I told you not to hit him in the face."
Santana started laughing. "I didn't!"
Kurt took the peas off. "She didn't. I got really scared and started flailing my arms around and accidentally punched myself in the eye. Which caused me to fall over the bed and onto the floor where I hit my lip."
Santana smirked. "He kicked his own ass. I spent 10 minutes making fun of him before we came back in here."
Kurt stood up. "Whatever, I'm going home. And I'm keeping these peas." He started walking towards the door and then turned back to grab the pizza box. "And this pizza."
Santana held out her hand and Kurt rolled his eyes and gave her $20. Then he quickly left the apartment.
Rachel walked over to Santana and slipped her arms around her waist. "So, do you have names for these kids I didn't know we were having?"
"Not yet. I just know we're having a boy and a girl and our family will live happily ever after." Santana tilted her head down awkwardly. "That is if you want that too."
Rachel smiled looking up at her. "I do."
Santana looked back smiling at her. "I love the way that sounds."
They kiss and walk to their bedroom with their arms around each other. Then Rachel stopped them from walking. "How do you feel about Kurt as a sperm donor?"
Santana sighed. "You're killing me." Santana shook her head as Rachel laughed and they continued walking and entered their bedroom.
the end