Light And Dark Don't Coexist

Isilarma

Chapter One

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I haven't posted much recently. Real life has been busy, and I've also been occupied with the plan for 'Strange Visitors.' The good news is, I'm halfway through that, so I should be able to start writing soon.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this piece. It's set about a year before Hogwarts opens and I'll try and post the next chapter in a few days.

Many thanks to my brother for reading it over for me and making sure I didn't ramble too much.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and am not affiliated with Bloomsbury or Scholastic Inc. The title is taken from the song 'When the Boys Light Up' by the Newsboys, and I do not own that either.

Helga had to use all her willpower to keep from pacing up and down. She had seen her friends go off to fight more times than she could count, but waiting for their return never got any easier. She tried to keep herself occupied; the newly finished infirmary was fully stocked, and she had spent the morning reading Rowena's medical texts. That probably hadn't been the best idea. It had been intended as a distraction, but she couldn't help but remember all the injuries she had already had to treat. All the injuries she might have to treat in the future. That thought was enough to start her pacing again.

"Where are they?"

Thankfully, two soft cracks soon announced their return. Helga whirled round, but her smile died at the expressions on their faces.

"What happened?"

Godric jerked his head at Salazar. "Ask him."

Salazar glared back. "It was nothing." The fact that his face was tinged grey and his limp was worse than usual was not exactly encouraging.

Helga's eyes narrowed. "Will one of you please tell me what happened today?"

Salazar shook his head. "It is nothing." Helga raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "I fell."

"He was cursed," Godric corrected. "Then he fell." Concern was clearly visible in his green eyes.

Helga sighed. "Sit down, Sal. Did you recognise the curse?"

Salazar's face twisted as he eased himself on to the edge of a bed. "Blunt impact. My shield deflected the worst of it, but it was enough to knock me off balance." He scowled down at the offending limb.

Helga rested her hand briefly on his shoulder. "I'll see to it," she promised. She felt the pain he was trying to hide and decided a distraction would be welcome. "Were you able to get them all?"

Godric shook his head. "A few were able to escape while we were occupied with the main group. We'll find them." For a moment his expression was very grim, then the familiar twinkle returned to his eyes as he glanced at Salazar. "At least we got the one that cursed you."

A rather vicious smirk touched Salazar's lips. "Indeed."

Helga glanced at them. "What exactly did you do?" He didn't miss the suddenly wary look that passed between the two wizards. "Salazar?"

Salazar gave a slight shrug. "I cursed him."

Helga frowned at him. "I would say that is a perfectly reasonable response." Her eyes narrowed slightly. Salazar had no reason to try to hide that. She might not like fighting, but she certainly approved of them defending themselves.

Salazar sighed. "It was one of the curses I learned before I met Godric."

Helga paused in her examination of the strained muscles. Salazar rarely talked about that part of his life, but they all knew what he had done and the knowledge he had sought.

"You're still using Dark magic?"

Godric stiffened, but Salazar met her gaze without flinching. "I use whatever magic is necessary."

Helga bit her lip. "But I thought Dark magic…" She broke off abruptly, unwilling to complete the thought.

"Is evil?" Salazar finished wearily.

Helga nodded. She knew very little about the Dark Arts, but she had read Rowena's books and she hadn't forgotten the number of times Godric had been asked to stop a Dark wizard. And she had seen the effects of Dark curses. From that, evil seemed to be a good way to describe them.

Salazar let out another sigh. "It is true that it is easy to use the Dark Arts for evil," he admitted. "But the magic itself has no allegiance. It is possible to use it for good."

Helga was not convinced. "But why would you use it if it is so easy to use it for Dark purposes?"

"Because in many cases it is more effective. Some of the best combat spells are technically Dark."

"It's true," said Godric. "It is because they are good for battle and subduing opponents that they are so often misused by Dark wizards."

Helga frowned. "That is another thing. I thought Dark wizards were so named because of the magic they use."

"They are."

"Then why are you constantly being called upon to stop Dark wizards? Are there any good Dark wizards?"

"Yes," Salazar insisted. "Dark magic can be and is used to serve others." He looked down. "Although it is true that many Dark wizards seek to use their skills for their own ends."

Godric nodded. "And it is they that we are often forced to fight."

Helga considered it, and sighed. "I understand, but I still do not know how they can be used selflessly. I have read Rowena's books, and some of the rituals described…" She broke off with a shudder. Those spells had given her nightmares for days.

Salazar grimaced. "Yes, I know the ones you mean."

"Then how can you say that that sort of magic can be used for good?"

Salazar shook his head. "There are spells that were created for truly horrific purposes," he said quietly. "Spells that no sane wizard would ever consider using." He looked up to meet her eyes. "But being a Dark wizard does not mean that you have to use them. I use Dark magic in battle, but I would never explore magic like that."

Helga closed her eyes for a moment. "And how many Dark lords started with similar convictions?"

Salazar jerked back as if she had struck him. "What? I haven't… I would never…"

"You go too far, Helga," Godric growled. His face was almost as red as his hair.

Helga flinched, but stood her ground. "You have said yourself that the Dark Arts are tempting. That it is easy to lose sight of one's ideals as knowledge increases."

"I use Dark magic only to protect those I care about!" Salazar snapped. "I have no desire for anything more than that."

Helga's stomach twisted at the pain in his eyes. "I know your intentions are good," she whispered. "But if you did, if anything were to happen-"

"Nothing will happen!" Anger was rapidly replacing Salazar's shock. "I do not want wealth, or immortality, or anything else that these so-called Dark lords long for, I just want the strength to protect this school!" He closed his eyes briefly, and when he spoke his voice was calmer. "I know that the Dark Arts are dangerous. I have studied them and I know what they have to offer." His silver eyes burned as they met hers. "And I don't want it." He pushed himself upright. "If you do not trust me, there is no point in me being here."

Helga started towards him. "Salazar," she began, but it was too late. Salazar had already disappeared.

Helga stared after him, her face a mask of dismay. The revelation of his abilities had horrified her, but she had never meant to hurt him. And he had been hurt, it was impossible to hide things like that from her, and for no reason. She did trust him, just as she had for the past two years. After all he had done, how could she not?

But she couldn't help remembering the rage on Salazar's face when he looked at those Muggles, and the sure knowledge that he would have killed them had she not been there, and somehow the thought of him succumbing to the lure of the Darkest of magic did not seem nearly so absurd any more.

A hand on her shoulder woke her from her thoughts and she looked into Godric's green eyes. She read his concern for her, but couldn't miss the lingering disapproval either. Abruptly, a wave of shame washed over her. Salazar was her friend, and he would never have hurt her like she had hurt him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Godric sighed. "I'm not the one you should be apologising to."

Helga felt tears prick at her eyes. "Do you think he will forgive me?"

Godric's grip tightened momentarily on her shoulder. "Of course he will."

Helga closed her eyes. "How can you be so sure? After what I said-"

"He forgave me."

Helga stared up at him, temporarily startled out of her depression. "What do you mean?"

Godric attempted a smile. "It is not the first time he has endured such suspicions." He sighed. "If it is any consolation, I was considerably more vocal about it."

She shook her head. "I should have known better."

"Maybe," Godric agreed. "Unfortunately, it is a valid concern." Seeing the confusion in her face, he explained. "The Dark arts, by their very nature, attract those with a hunger for power. Indeed, that is what first drew Salazar to study them." His eyes darkened. "And while I may not like it, I can understand his reasons." He continued before she could question the statement. "Many of these people do not have the restraint to recognise when the price becomes too steep. Many immerse themselves so deeply in the forbidden secrets that they are not able to turn back."

"And they are the ones who become a threat," Helga finished.

"Precisely." He sighed again. "Very few people are able to control their own desires and use these Arts to serve others."

Helga felt a stirring of hope. "And Salazar was one of the ones who could?"

"Well, with some encouragement," Godric admitted. "I killed the wizard he was studying with and took him away before he could learn anything too dangerous."

Helga's heart sank again. "So he didn't really have a choice?"

Godric shook his head. "Of course he did."

"But you just said that you were responsible for keeping him from learning more of the Dark Arts."

Godric laughed. "I'm flattered, but are you forgetting who we're talking about? Even then he was far sneakier than I. Believe me, he had plenty of opportunities to escape."

Helga frowned. "Then why didn't he?"

"He never told me." His expression turned thoughtful. "Maybe he saw them for what they were. Maybe he realised what would happen were he to continue. Maybe I was a good influence in some way. Whatever the reason, he chose not to seek out a new teacher." He smiled at her. "He continued to read and learn, but he knows his limits."

Helga nodded slowly. It did make sense, and her guilt surged up again. "I need to apologise."

Godric's shoulders slumped with relief. "Thank you." His expression turned serious. "The Dark Arts can be attractive," he said quietly. "But Salazar knows that. He's not stupid enough to go too far."

Helga sighed. "I know."

Godric's face creased into a frown. "Do not blame yourself. Rowena and I both reacted as you did when we first found out." He squeezed her shoulder. "I'll talk to him." He gave a final reassuring smile and Disapparated.

Helga watched him go with mixed feelings. Part of her was reassured by his words; the fact that Salazar recognised the dangers of the Dark Arts and rejected them gave her confidence in his strength. Unfortunately, she still found it difficult to accept that anyone, even someone as determined as Salazar, could use such magic and not be affected by it. She couldn't believe that all the Dark wizards Godric had confronted had started out as a threat, but they had certainly become one. If Salazar should go the same way…

She forced the thought away. Godric trusted Salazar, and he had far greater experience of the Dark Arts than she did. If he believed Salazar had the control to use them, she could too.

With a sigh, Helga got to her feet and turned to the cabinet containing her stock of salves and potions. She was hoping to find a distraction, but the array of vials only brought forth a fresh surge of emotions. Helga had developed a healthy dislike of Potion-making early on, probably due to Godric's influence, and the thought of maintaining the healing potions she required had been a daunting one. She had been shocked, and delighted, when Salazar took on the task without even being asked, especially when he showed her his modified versions. And the several he had invented himself. She had never had to ask him to do anything. Helga sighed and closed her eyes as shame washed over her. She should have known better. But she still couldn't help but wonder…

A soft knock at the door woke her from her thoughts and she turned to see Salazar standing in the doorway.

"Godric said you wished to see me." His face was completely expressionless, but the tension in his shoulders betrayed his wariness.

Helga swallowed. "Yes." She closed the cupboard and turned to face him. "I wanted to apologise."

A brief flicker of surprise lit his eyes. "I see."

Helga took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Salazar. I should have known better than to say some of the things I did."

Salazar held her gaze for a long moment, then his shoulders slumped. "There is nothing to forgive." His lips twitched into a bitter smile. "As Godric would say, it is a valid concern."

Helga shook her head. "I know little about the Dark Arts, but I do know you. I know you would never put any of us in danger."

Salazar sighed and took a few steps towards her. "Helga, I do not blame you for having doubts. Any sane wizard would be wary of the magic I use."

"Then why use it?" The question left her lips before she could stop it and she winced as she saw Salazar's eyes darken.

"Because it is effective," he said bluntly. "And I need all the advantages I can get."

Helga said nothing. The point was a good one, but she simply did not understand how anyone knowing the risks could continue to use such spells.

Seeing her expression, Salazar let out a long sigh. "I only use it when I have to." His silver eyes fixed on hers. "Helga, I know what I am doing."

Helga held his gaze. He did know the risks, she was certain of that. That he believed he had the strength, she also had no doubts. But she couldn't suppress her own doubts, doubts that could ruin everything should she express them. So in the end she just nodded.

"I know."

Salazar nodded, but his answering smile did not reach his eyes. He knew what her hesitation meant.

"Well, I had better leave you to your work." He gave a brief bow, and limped from the room. He did not look back.

Helga stood staring after him. She had wanted reconciliation, but it looked like all she had done was make things worse. Something had changed, broken, and even now she could feel the cracks spreading. And she had no idea what to do about it.

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