England walked into the conference room, beaming proudly.
If Prussia had known the hell that smile would bring into his life for years to come, one (or both) of their lives would have ended that day.
"Hey, Iggy!" America called out. For once England didn't scream at him for using the hated nickname. "Why do you look so happy?"
England puffed up with pride. "Remember Voldemort?"
Every country in the room groaned.
"You mean that person you've been crying about for the past few years, aru?" China asked. "Yes...we know all about him."
"Well," England bounced on his feet. "Harry killed him!"
Everyone stared at him blankly.
"...Whose Harry?" Prussia asked.
In the next few years, Prussia would learn exactly who 'Harry' was.
...
10 years later
England burst into the conference room.
"Everyone remember Harry?!" he cried, excitement coating his voice.
"You mean that person you've been talking about for the past few years, aru?" China asked, and everyone felt a sudden flash of deja vu. "Yes...we know all about him."
"Well..." England beamed wider. "He just got his Hogwarts letter!"
Everyone stared at him.
"I'm sorry..." Spain looked disturbed. "What did he get?"
"His Hogwarts letter!"
"...Is that some sort of strange English illness?" France asked, looking disgusted. "I always knew those Englishmen were filthy."
...
A month later
"Harry has just left for Hogwarts!"
Prussia held the phone away from his ear, grimacing as the sound of England's loud voice met his ears.
"I'm sorry," Prussia said through gritted teeth. "But why the hell do I need to know about this?"
"Oh don't feel special," England told him. "I'm calling everyone...next up, Switzerland!"
The phone hung up.
...
A few months later
The phone rang and Prussia picked it up. He sighed, knowing exactly what was coming the second that England's voice met his ears.
"What?" he gritted out.
"Harry beat a troll!" England crowed.
"Great." Prussia slammed the phone down.
If only he realized that it was only going to get worse.
...
A few months later:
"Guess what?"
"Something to do with Harry, I'm guessing?"
"Right you are! Harry just faced of Voldemort! Isn't he simply brilliant?"
...
The next year
"Harry just fought of a basilik!"
...
The next year:
"Harry saved Sirius Black...who, as it turns out, isn't a serial killer! And the reason I know about this is all thanks to Harry! Wow, that kid is simply amazing..."
...
The next year:
"HARRY IS IN THE TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT! Oh God, why can't they sell tickets to these things..."
...
A few days later:
"That bloody old coot Dumbledore kicked me out of Hogwarts when I demanded a ticket to see Harry Potter facing of a dragon. How dare he - I'm his country, goddammit!"
...
A few months later:
"VOLDEMORT HAS RETURNED...Harry will take care of it though!"
...
Prussia could barely take it any more. He was sick of those awful phone calls, constantly telling him about what Harry was doing. And after Voldemort returned...well they had only gotten worse.
Suddenly, the phone calls went from being monthly calls to becoming daily calls.
...
"Harry is currently residing at Privet Drive!"
...
"Harry is eating his breakfast!"
...
"Harry is taking a shower!"
...
"Harry is writing a letter!"
...
"Harry is taking another shower!"
...
If Prussia heard one more thing about Harry goddamned Potter he was going to explode. Goddammit...he couldn't take it anymore - and there wasn't much that an awesome person like himself couldn't handle!
Prussia needed to do something about this. And fast.
...Then he got an idea.
...
"It's a brilliant idea!" he said, beaming widely at his two best friends, France and Spain. The other two nations glanced at him with interest; all they had needed to hear was the first part of Prussia's speech: "This will bring about the end of England's constant talks about Harry Potter!"
They had immediately been hooked; like Prussia, they too were plagued by England's phone calls. And like him, they too were sick and tired of them.
"So...you're saying we should kidnap Harry?" Spain questioned, just to be sure. "And convince him to hate England?"
"Yeah!" Prussia beamed. "It'll destroy the idiot's pride, and then he'll be too embarrassed to brag about the guy anymore!"
"That is true," France noted. "Remember? England used to act this way about America...constantly jumping from person to person, telling them about the boy's every movement..."
All three shuddered at the memory.
"I think this will work," France said, nodding.
Spain nodded. "Yeah," he said. "And if we don't try it...well, we'll never know if we could have freed ourselves from this agony."
"So then, you guys are in?" Prussia demanded.
Without hesitation, France and Spain both nodded.
...
Far away in Privet Drive, Harry Potter was utterly oblivious to what would soon be coming.
...
AN:
Okay...so, this is a new fic. Updates might be a bit slow at first since I'm working on two other fics but then, I never really know how these things turn out...so the next update could be tomorrow, or next week, or next month.
Really, I just wanted to see if anyone liked this fic concept. I'd love to hear your feedback so, review please!