This is a Shakarian post ME3 Destroy XC songfic. Five chapters of angst, with a side of dark fluff.

Love of mine
someday you will die
but I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

love of mine

Garrus Vakarian looked down at the object in his hands. A smooth, black block, about fifty centimeters long, embossed with ugly, graceless letters in stark white.

CDR ZOE SHEPARD.

Alenko had just finished clipping another plaque to the stark black and white memorial.

ADM DAVID ANDERSON.

Why was this so hard? He'd known - they'd both known - that Shepard wasn't coming back this time.

A flash of memory - the look on Joker's face earlier as he'd added his block to the wall.

EDI.

The AI's refusal to come back online, even as they'd slowly restored system after damaged system, had surprised them all. As far as anyone could tell - anyone in this case being Tali and Specialist Traynor - EDI's processors were powered up and undamaged, but all of the AI's channels remained silent, her hijacked Cerberus body stiff and lifeless as a mannequin in a Presidium boutique.

No. Unlike Joker's unexpected loss, Garrus knew he'd said his final goodbye on the Normandy's loading ramp.

"No matter what happens here," Shepard said, her voice cracking with emotion, "I love you, and I always will."

"Shepard, I…" he stared into those eyes, wishing he didn't know this was the end, "…I love you too."

Why hadn't he stayed with her? At the time, he'd tried to tell himself it was logical, that he was badly injured and would only slow her down; would only be a source of weakness for her when she needed to be strong. But the simple answer was, she wouldn't let him. She'd ordered him back on the Normandy, and, as always, he'd obeyed his commander.

He'd never regretted following Shepard's orders until now.

The crew were all staring at him, he knew. And yet he still stood motionless with the plaque in his hands, unable to perform this simple gesture of closure. Beneath his feet, the Normandy pulsed with life - Alenko had told them all before the memorial service that the Normandy would be breaking atmo late this afternoon - but inside, Garrus felt as dead as the ship's AI.

Damn it, Shepard, I don't know how to do this without you. I meant it when I said the universe would be an empty place without you.

He turned away from the wall, his mandibles working with grief.

Took two blind steps forward, his eyes still on the plaque in his hands.

Liara's hand touched his face, cool and gentle, her guileless blue eyes seeking his.

"Garrus?" she asked softly.

Wordlessly, he pressed the black metal into the asari's hand.

I hope you're keeping a bar stool warm for me, because you won't be waiting long.

Bioware owns MEness. Death Cab for Cutie owns I'll Follow You into the Dark. I own the angst.