AN: WHAT?! Two updated stories in one week from the chick who never updates?! Tha is unheard of! Hope you guys enjoy.

"Lame..." Korra gave up on the story halfway through and flipped forward to the next one in the magazine. She took another swig of her wine and started to skim the page. "Alright let's skip the fluff and move on to the porn bits." Normally Korra would at least try to read the whole thing but she was feeling impatient at the moment. Korra isn't even sure why she bothers to read the stories about her anymore. In the beginning it was out of a sense of duty to avoid the crap Katara had to deal with in the past, but after a while she started to enjoy the numerous cliches and bad writing. In a way it was like watching a bad play or singing along to a terrible song. But now..

"blah, blah, blah I moaned as he licked my collarbone... Yadda yadda yadda he sucked one boob while massaging the other... Now comes the part where he kisses his way down my body. Oooh- and what's this? He's gonna slowly kiss the inside of my thighs before he finally dives right in? Really?! Who has the time for that?"

...Now Korra had gotten to the point where she could predict what's going to happen next with unbelievable accuracy. "Alright on to the next one." Korra skipped a few paragraphs ahead in the next story. "Before Korra could finish her sentence, Mako surged forward and interrupted her with a kiss...the Avatar was too shocked to respond for a heartbeat, but she eventually opened her mouth to grant the fire bender access..." She visibly cringed. "Mako probed Korra's warm cavern and she moaned as their tongues battled for... Dom-" she let out a sigh.

"...For Dominance..."

Without another word, Korra shut the magazine, tossed it across the room into her wastebasket, and with a snap of her fingers the magazine was on fire. "Like I would even have to battle anyone for dominance, don't these fans know who the fuck I am?" She continued to watch the magazine burn before she was interrupted by a knock at her door. Korra tossed a 'come in' over her shoulder before returning her attention to the burning magazine.

"Hey Korra," It was Asami. "Me and the boys are going to hang out today and... Why is your trash can on fire?"

"Don't mind me, I'm just destroying something terrible to protect the innocent. So what are we- OH GOD ASAMI NO!"

It was too late.

Asami was reading her magazine.

Well...

...

...Shit.

"What the heck is a Makorra?"

She flipped to the middle and turned the book sideways to examine the centerfold. "Never mind, I figured it out."

"I swear it's not what it looks like!"

"Oh, so you're 'not' reading erotic fanfictions starring yourself and my boyfriend?"

"Okay when you put it that way it does sound kind of bad but-"

"Do you have any more?"

"Wait, what?"

"Got any stories with me in them?"

"Umm, y-yeah." The whole situation was pretty bizarre for the Avatar so Korra grabbed more issues out of her closet and prayed that fulfilling her friends request would make Asami forget that she was supposed to be mad at her. She sorted through what she could find on Asami and read off the titles. "Okay. We got Masami, which is you and Mako. The Bosami ones have Bolin in them. This one has Irosami, wouldn't get into that one since we haven't met him yet. And then we have the, um, the Korrasami stories that-"

"Those are the stories with you and I in them right?"

"Riiiiight..."

Asami smiled at her.

"You can't be serious."

She nodded. Korra groaned and tossed the Korrasami magazines on the bed. "Fine, take them. Just promise... Promise not to tell anyone about the fanfiction. I'll never be able to live this down."

Asami tucked the magazines under her arm. "Your secret's safe with me. I gotta go."

"Wait! Weren't we going to go hang out with the boys?"

"Sorry something came up. I have to go take care of...things." Without another word Asami left the room.

"Fine, I guess we'll hang out tomorrow then." Korra said to no one. She will probably regret giving Asami those magazines later. "Whatever. What else do we have here. Huh, what's this?" She lifted one of the magazines out of the pile. Unlike all the other books with terrible artwork in the covers, the cover on this one was completely black. She squinted to read the tiny words written in red.

Kink Meme.

"Well this is interesting..." She flipped to the table of contents. "Why are all of the authors anonymous? Filled requests, what the hell is that?" She shrugged her shoulders and flipped to the first story...

Holy Shit.

Korra read the story in complete silence before she closed the book and set it in her lap. After a minute of staring at the wall opposite her, she picked the book up and read the story again.

"This story..." She rubbed her chin in thought. "Has fulfilled every single sexual fantasy I have ever had, or will have in the future." She whispered in awe.

Korra couldn't decide if she wanted to thank the kink meme for writing interesting porn for once, or damn them for corrupting her somewhat innocent mind.

These stories didn't contain any of that tame shit you would see on nighttime television, like what Korra watched when she was in high school.

Some of the stuff you see in here wouldn't even be appropriate for HBO.

Korra firmly believed that the story she just experienced was the Magnum Opus of literary porn.

Seriously though, how do they do that? It's like being anonymous gives you the freedom to write whatever your little heart desires. Korra rubbed her hands together. "Can't wait to see what's in the next one." She read the list of kinks.

Watersports.

Pass.

Non-Con.

Hell No.

Torture.

Oohhh no. No no no. Nope. Nuh uh.

Just...no.

"Korra, I gotta say we learned something new today. The kink meme will either give you the best porn ever or it will give you mental trauma. But Damn, that first story though..." She closed the book and traced her fingers over the lettering.

Was it weird that she actually wanted to try some of these things with someone?

It probably is weird.

Korra doesn't care.

But how was she going to find someone hot and well-endowed enough to act out her favorite scenes?

"Let's see... What's the quickest way to meet an attractive guy you have instant chemistry with?" She tried to recall the various fanfic tropes she had come across so far. She snapped her fingers in triumph when she finally figured it out.

"Coffee shop AU. Duh!"

She wrapped her scarf around her neck a little tighter as she stepped into the coffee shop. Even though it was ninety degrees earlier today Korra was glad she dressed warmly. The moment she left Tenzin's it started snowing like crazy outside. Besides everyone knows that it needs to be cold in a coffee shop AU.

Korra gripped the strap of her messenger bag as she took a look around the shop. Why did she have a bag full of textbooks and a laptop when she isn't even in school and laptops haven't been invented yet?

Because you need one in a coffee shop AU, that's why.

"Alright Korra. You're wearing your best winter outfit and have been to this place a dozen times. Time to find the new employee and go in for the kill." She spotted him working the register up front. Wait a minute...

Why does he look like Mako?

Why does he have a beard?

And why does it make him look ten times hotter?

Damn.

She approached the counter when it was her turn to order. Korra paused to read his name tag.

Marco.

Ehh... a little too close to Mako but his amazing facial hair made her not care. Now on to the first step.

Extended eye contact.

She cheered internally as he finally broke eye contact and tried to suppress a tiny smile by clearing his throat.

Score one for the Avatar.

"Good afternoon, Miss-"

"Korra. My name's Korra." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He blushed at the gesture.

Two points.

"Right, um, Korra. What can I do for you today?"

She smiled again. This was way too easy.

"A few things actually."

There is chocolate sauce on the ceiling.

That's the first thing Korra notices when she opens her eyes. Second thing she notices is that she is very naked and she's feeling sore in some very 'specific' places. She wrapped the sheet around herself and sat up to check out her surroundings.

Half-burned curtains.

Fuzzy handcuffs still attached to the bedposts.

Ping pong paddle on top of the pillow.

Dog leash hanging off the corner of the bed.

And Korra is pretty sure that the chocolate sauce smeared on the closet door is an ass print.

Yeah... last night was pretty interesting.

Korra may have complained in the past about bad fanfiction, but hooking up with a perfect sex machine is definitely a cliche she can get behind. A knock at the door caught her attention.

"Good, you're awake." Damn that voice is like sexy molasses.

Korra isn't sure how you would make molasses sexy, but if it is possible it would probably sound like Marco.

"I made pancakes so I hope you're hungry."

With the workout Korra had last night she was straight up ravenous. "Thanks. By the way," She pointed to his neck. "You're still wearing the dog collar."

"Ah, thanks." He handed her the tray of pancakes and unclipped the collar.

"You're welcome. Hey, don't you want some of this?"

"No thanks. I know you really want to eat the whole thing so I won't take any."

This man truly understands her.

"So I don't have to work today. Maybe we can do something together?"

She smiled around a mouthful of pancakes. "Marco, how would you like to meet my friends?"

Mako, Bolin and Asami watched Korra and her new boyfriend pull up on his motorcycle through the diner's window.

That's who they were meeting?

"Asami are you seeing this shit right now?"

"I'm definitely seeing it."

"Wow Mako! He looks just like you! Except he's got a cool beard!"

Mako glared at the couple in the parking lot. God it's like they're trying to eat each others faces. Mako turned to his brother and asked him a question.

"Bolin, when me and Asami are together, we don't act like that do we?"

"Like that? Naah, Korra and that other guy are way more into it. Definitely a lot more, um, passion going on there."

Was he the only one bothered by this?

"Asami aren't you weirded out right now? He looks exactly like me."

"Just wait until book three girl," she whispered. "Be strong for Korrasami..."

"...What are you even talking about?"

"Hey guys!" Korra interrupted them. "This is my new pet." He hugged her from behind and kissed her temple.

"Hey I thought we agreed to only use that name in private, love."

"Sorry babe. Guys I want you to meet Marco."

...Is she being serious right now?

"Hey it's so nice to meet you!" Bolin jumped up to shake his hand. "So where did you guys meet?"

"Yesterday, at the coffee shop where I work."

"Well you guys certainly moved fast." Mako mumbled. Unfortunately Marco over heard him.

"Yeah it was pretty fast at first. But then we took things very slow, if you know what I mean." He hugged Korra a little tighter and she giggled.

Korra giggled.

Mako could tell he wouldn't like this guy. At all.

He glared at the couple while they whispered to each other.

"Hey Mako, do me a solid and order a burger for me. I gotta use the restroom."

"You know what? I also have to use the restroom. Get me the same thing?" Mako crossed his arms and nodded.

"Thanks, we'll be back in a minute."

Twenty minutes.

They have been in there for twenty minutes.

The three of them had already eaten and Korra's in there doing who knows what.

99.9% sure that thing Korra's doing is Marco.

"Wow it's been a while. You think Korra and Marco are okay?" Bolin asked.

Oh they are more than okay.

"Maybe we should check on them." Bolin started to stand but Mako stopped them.

"No Bolin, just... no."

"But what if something's wrong. Maybe they are trapped in there...or they're constipated... OR maybe they-"

"KORRA'S IN THERE FUCKING THAT GUY BOLIN!" He snapped. Mako slid down in his seat when he noticed a few eyes staring at him.

"Sorry we're late everyone, you haven't been waiting up for us have you?" Korra slid into the booth next to Bolin, followed by Marco.

"We would have come out sooner, but something came up."

Korra giggled. Again.

Mako doesn't know how much more of this he can take.

"Looks like our food got cold."

"You're right. We should take it back to your place and warm it up."

Even Bolin didn't didn't miss the double meaning of that statement. Without another word both teens were out the restaurant and speeding away on Marco's motorcycle.

They didn't even take their food.

"I really don't like that guy."

"Why not? They seem perfect together."

"I think Mako's right on this one Bolin."

Finally! Someone agrees with him.

"I can't believe he gets to bang her."

"What?"

"I can't believe she gets to bang him."

Mako decided to let the offhand comment slide and fumed in his seat.

Korra and Marco were so perfect for each other that it was nauseating to watch them interact. Mako knew it was mean to think so, but he really wished that they would fight and break up already.

Seeing Korra act affectionate with anyone was just weird.

"Korra can we talk?" He leaned against the kitchen sink and watched her dig through the fridge.

"Hey Mako, what brings you here?"

"You invited me here. But I guess you forgot."

"I did, didn't I?" She pulled out a bowl of cherries and some whipped cream and set them on the counter. "Sorry about that. Marco came over to surprise me for our 11 day anniversary, so I kind of forgot we made plans."

"11 day anniversary?"

"Yep, we celebrate our anniversary everyday." Korra pulled a zucchini and inspected it. After a couple of seconds she shook her head and put it back. "He's just perfect like that. Could have sworn we had chocolate syrup in here somewhere..."

"Actually Marco's the reason I wanted to talk to you. Doesn't he seem a bit off to you? It's like he only exists to please you and nothing else."

"Yeah I know."

"And you don't find that weird? At all?"

"Of course it's weird. Marco isn't real Mako. He's a physical manifestation of the perfect man in the eyes of females who love to read cheesy romance novels. I know there is no way such a perfect man exists, but that won't stop me from enjoying it while it lasts."

"...What?"

"In short, Marco is the ultimate Gary Stu of Romance. Shit, even when we are banging everything is narrated in first person so the reader can literally put themselves in my place. it's kind of disorienting to be honest." She finally found the chocolate sauce and set it on the counter. "But despite all of that, I'm still going to enjoy this because it feels freaking amazing Mako. That man... That man has a gift" She sighed.

"Korra, I promised myself I wouldn't pry and let this whole thing run it's course, but I really think you should break up with him. It's better to end this now before something crazy happens. Nothing good can come from dating someone who's that obsessive."

"HA! I'm sorry, I just find it hilarious that I got no reaction from you when I slept with Asami but this freaks you out for some reason."

"Shut up this is different. I think he might be dangerous."

"Of course he is. He told me yesterday if you try to take me away from him he's gonna gut you. Well he was actually a lot more specific about what he was going to do to you... but the long and short of it is that he will cut you."

"AND YOU'RE JUST NOW TELLING ME THIS?" He pulled his hair in frustration.

"Psssh calm down Mako. I told him that I had no interest in dating you right now, even though we will eventually get married and have like 8 kids, I'm in no rush at the moment."

"What the Hell?!"

"Hmm...I probably shouldn't have told him that last part huh?"

"YOU THINK?!"

Korra shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure nothing will come of it." She carefully balanced the food in her arms. "Sorry I forgot about inviting you over. Give me 35 minutes. You know what, let's make that 45 minutes, just to be on the safe side. Then we can hang out or something. Oh!" Korra grabbed her ping pong paddle off of the counter and tucked it under her arm. "Almost forgot my paddle."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "How about I just come back tomorrow?"

"Fine by me. Now if you'll excuse me, my pet needs some aftercare."

He's pretty sure Korra isn't talking about Naga.

Don't worry, she said.

nothing will come of it, she said.

Freaking Korra.

Thanks to her big mouth Mako's tied to a chair. In the dark. In the middle of an abandoned warehouse.

And... Marco's sitting across from him.

Holding a machete.

He really should have seen this coming.

He just wished that Korra had warned him about the part with the machete. He knew Marco threatened to cut him.

But not with a fucking machete.

That's just fucking mean.

Marco stared at him with a frightening intensity for a few minutes before he finally spoke.

"Good, you're awake."

AN: Holy shit I actually updated. I am way past the point of feeling rusty when it comes to writing this story so hopefully it isn't too bad. You would think with my track record of timely updates I would know better than to leave it on a cliffhanger, but this seemed like a good spot to stop since I was getting tired of looking at it. Who knows I might go back and edit this chapter. As for the chapter itself, I tried really hard to show how annoying it is to hang out with one of those couples that seem way too perfect for each other. I even gave the Gary Stu a ridiculous name like Marco to drive the point home.

next chapter we finally find out what Marco's going to do with Mako. Maybe this time it won't take me a year to update. As usual, tell me what you think in a review, and if you have any ideas for future chapters, lay them on me.