How to get John and Sherlock to Date; a Guide by Molly Hooper

A/n: Hello there all you lovely readers! I was really pleased with the response to this fic, not many reviews but I'm hoping more are on there way! Thanks to: arelando, Kohaku The Otaku, bbybyrd and Old Ping Hai for your reviews here is your free internet cat: =^.^= (worth it)
and thanks for all the favourites and follows, they really mean alot! Now on with the chapter. With the prologue done and dusted, I thought I'd make this more guidish if you get what I mean as I thought it'd be quite fun to do the whole guide layout!

NOTE: all examples are written in Molly's point of view, if otherwise I will note it at the top of the example :)

Chapter One

Setting up the Date

This chapter will explain how to set up a date in which Sherlock and John will be attending. Please remember that this date will only work for the Sherlock and John species. If it works on anyone else, consult a Doctor immediately about these people.

You Will Need:
+ Two very gay flatmates (one of which shouts I'm not gay to abandoned warehouses, another of which who is half human, half "I'm going to pretend I'm asexual so my flatmate doesn't know I like him.")
+ A candle. It makes it more romantic.
+ London. You don't need all of this to be succesful, but to make the Sherlock and John comfortable it's wiser for it all to be there.
+ A cinema. Make sure a good, romantic film is showing at the time of the date, and purchase tickets beforehand.
+ Any extras which you think will be suitable.
+ A pretty woman. Don't worry, she won't be part of the actual date.

Note: To achieve the best results all points are required.

For easy use, the method will include examples. Please note that this date can only be performed once on a Sherlock and John, overuse may result in failure.

Step One: Getting John to the cinema.

This won't be hard. The John Watson species has been straight all his life (he's only gay for Sherlock), so a pretty woman (as mentioned) asking him out on a date and giving him one of the cinema tickets to the film you've booked will be successful.

Example:

John isn't a Sherlock Holmes. He can't deduce the exact brand of cleaning liquid someone uses from the hairs on their chin, so a woman asking him out on a half fake date isn't difficult. Luckily for me, one of my friends is the type of woman John would date. She's blonde, slim and dresses in skirts and nice tops. She's not rich but she's nice. But that doesn't matter, John wont be dating her. He thinks he will, of course.

So I asked my friend, Mary, if she would do this one small thing for me and she giggled and said yes. We were best friends in school and used to get up to all sorts of trouble...though she did most of the trouble. So anyway, that day as Sherlock was busy studying the nose hairs of a corpse (I must say it's not the worst that I've seen him study) I quickly grabbed his coat hanging on the coat peg and hid it. Sherlock was in the other room and there were no windows, so unless he has 'see through walls' vision, he couldn't have seen me.
I don't know how he managed it, but he did actually leave without his coat. The amazing Sherlock Holmes did actually forget his coat. It made me a little suspicious, but anyhow. As I predicted, John came down a hour later, asking me if I had see the mysterious disappearing coat. Of course Sherlock got him to do the dirty work. Saying yes, I guided him through to the cupboard where I had stuffed it, when Mary floated into the room. She pretended not to know who John was. "Hey Molly! Oh...whose your friend?" She asked, lowering her voice into a seductive fashion that made me want to laugh.
"Oh, Mary! Hi!" I said, John looked up and smiled at her warmly, "This is John Watson."
"Your boyfriend?"
I snorted, "No, just someone whose a good friend of Sherlock."
"Oh..I see..."
"John this is my friend, Mary Morstan"
I left them talking and after fifteen minutes, John emerged from the room clutching a cinema ticket in one hand and Sherlock's coat in another. I grinned. Result.

Step Two. Getting Sherlock to the cinema.

This will be difficult. This species of Sherlock can deduce what a person is thinking just by glancing at them, so giving the ticket personally is not an option. A crafty letter through the letterbox (whilst John is at work) containing the ticket and a pretend case, should convince the Sherlock. Make the case interesting, three suicides and then a note is a case that gets the Christmas lights working.

Example.

Sherlock is a Sherlock Holmes. He can deduce the type if cleaning liquid someone uses from the hairs on their chin. So this required a little more thought. Knowing how much he fangirls over new and exciting cases, I enclosed the ticket in an envelope alongside a note reading:

Dear Mr Sherlock Holmes,

Please please please can you help? My name is Mary Sutherland. My fiancée, Harry Angel, has recently disappeared. I met him at a party a while ago whilst my stepdad was in France for business. You see, my real dad died sometime ago and my mum remarried a much younger man whose only about five years older than me. He hates me to socialness, but I disobeyed him. As soon as I met Harry, we both fell in love quite quickly. He proposed to me and after my stepdad went away for another business trip, we arranged a wedding date. He invited me to the movies a couple of months ago. I haven't seen him since. I have enclosed a cinema ticket where he went missing. I will meet you there if you are willing to take the case and give more details. I can pay you if need be, I get a lot if money from my computer business. So please help me, Mr Holmes! I've heard you're one of the best!
Yours sincerely,
Mary Sutherland.

Seems realistic enough, right? Well let's just hope Sherlock thinks so...I called him up, pretending to need him to come to the morgue the next day, and he refused saying he had a case to attend to, involving a girl called Mary Sutherland.

Success!

A/n: success indeed, I was quite proud of this. Writing into the night means the weirdest ideas, but sometimes they can be better. It also means sloppy typing, please tell me if there are any mistakes!

Thank you to my friend who helped me think of the date idea for the species of John and Sherlock. I doubt shes reading this but...its the thought that counts.

Bonus points for the people who noticed the two original Sherlock Holmes points (took me a while to modernise actually) :)
reviews! Did you like the layout? Would you prefer it to all be story style or continue like this? Good enough writing? Funny enough (this will never be)? Hedgehogs? Leave a review and I will love you forever.
Merliena :)