How to get Sherlock and John to date; a guide by Molly Hooper

Prologue.

I'm not sure why I ever fell for a socciopathic "freak" like Sherlock. That sums me up I guess. I'm still a big teenage girl inside...falling for the wrong people. It's not as though I'd ever want to be in a relationship with Sherlock, he wouldn't be the best at feelings and boyfriend...stuff. Or for that matter, hetrosexual stuff, as I'm almost certain he's gay. Most people would say he's asexual and all that, but they obviously haven't seen him next to John Watson. John probably doesn't even realise it, and Sherlock himself most likely doesn't. But I can see it. I'm not an expert or anything, my relationships limit to a couple of guys in high school and a murderous, insane, Sherlock obsessed, (also suspected as gay) guy called Jim. But I've seen the looks Sherlock gives John. I've known him for five years and he's never looked at anyone in that way. They're probably not even looks Sherlock is aware of giving.

I'm not jealous. I'm sad, yes, but I don't mind. I would never have been happy with Sherlock. When you have a crush on someone your mind blots out any negative feature in looks and personality about that person. You get blinded by thoughts of a possible relationship, and buried in hopes that they might like you back. You almost forget what they are like. You build up an entire fantasy creation of them in your mind that suits you, which hardly ever turn out to be true.

So no, I'm not jealous.

I'm angry.

Because they're not a couple yet. And they deserve to be. They deserve each other and John deserves to see those looks Sherlock gives him. And I, Molly Hooper, am going to try my hardest to get them together. Because then I can finally let Sherlock go, knowing he is happy. And that's all I want in real life. Not in the fantasy I created of him. I believe this is the one thing I might be able to do.

I've devised a plan. It's simple, I just have to follow the steps and hope for the best.

+ Number One. I will arrange a date that will be so romantic even a straight guy would turn gay. Well no, I'm lying slightly. I won't be the one to make it THAT romantic, they will. And it won't be as mainstream as a usual dinner date and all that. It will be totally Sherlocky (without the zero emotions and tolerance for idiots).
+ number two. I will send in the alcohol and get the pair completely drunk (note. not so drunk that they end up throwing it up or blacking out)
+ number three. This is more the two lovebirds turn. They will be spewing out sober truths with their drunk mouths and hopefully will say something about them being completely gay for each other. This will, hopefully, be remembered for the morning when they can talk about it properly.
+ failing step three, I will snatch Sherlock's phone...somehow...and text John some very...suggestive texts, pretending to be Sherlock. John will either kiss him or punch him. Hopefully the kissing part.

You see! My plan can't possible fail! I should be a full time Sherlock Holmes, if I say so myself. Now I just need to sort out the whole date situation. This will be tricky, as it will be hard to convince Sherlock to go somewhere. I will stay out of the picture, if course. He might twig something if I invite him somewhere...so it will all have to be done anonymously.

You may be wondering why I'm doing all this aside from my ever unlucky love for Sherlock. Why I shouldn't just leave the two alone? Well, it's painful to be around those two, if I'm honest. You could cut the sexual tension between their gazes with a very homosexual knife and uncover layers of rainbows. I can't stand it much longer and neither can many others. Plus I want Sherlock to be happy, as I said. I believe John will make him happy.

Besides, I always have my many cats to live with for the rest of my life. Cats understand me. They're fluffy and cute and lovely and adorable! They'd never say a bad word about anyone, except for those who insult their owner. A loud hiss and a scratch sorts those out. They stay with you if you treat them right and are there to snuggle away the tears. Best partners in the world.
Perhaps John can be Sherlock's cat!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End of prologue. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N. I don't have a cat, so if that last cat ramble was untrue I apolgise...having no pets is hard sometimes! And if this was very unMollyish...um...oops. So new story! I'm not sure what made me think of it. I wanted Molly to have a big part in a fic without the whole Sholly ship I think it's called. I don't think they'd make a good couple, Molly deserves a very sweet guy who loves her very much and idk Sherlock only has eyes for John in my mind. But if Johnlock is going to happen I want Molly to have some part in it! Whooo! I also want to write about Molly because apparently I look very much like her (starting to see it now... I have to do a double take for some photos of her its creepy ) though she gets a lot more pretty aspects than me :c

It won't be completely in Molly pov because she wont be able to be in the date and all that so it will alternate between John, Sherlock and Molly, if that's alright!
Anyway I shall leave this here and hope that many reviews will be given in return. PLEASE?! YOU GET A FREE INTERNET CAT!
Merliena :)
Ps: sorry for any mistakes...my phone has no spellcheck so I'm using my eyes! Shock! Oh and sorry if I'm really bad at the humour...I normally write serious with a little banter and stuff, and have a weird sense of humour so if it's not funny you can just read it with a bored face I don't mind