Chapter Eight

Someday My Prince Will Come

"You think that's the princess?" Alfred asked in surprise. He'd been too taken aback at having a scantily clad woman invite him into her home in the middle of the night to wonder if she was the princess for whom they'd been searching.

"Let's go and find out," Arthur muttered grimly, directing Wistful towards the tower through the trees.

The tower was attached to a small, quaint cottage. It didn't really look like a prison, so what was keeping the princess locked away there and needing to be rescued was a mystery to Alfred.

The French woman was standing at the door waiting for them, her dressing gown open to reveal the ridiculously tiny and lacy negligée underneath. Alfred quickly looked away, but realised this lady must be very rich to own sleepwear of such good quality. Much richer than her humble home led passersby to believe, anyway. Perhaps she really was the princess.

"Bon soir!" the lady greeted in a lively sing-song voice, as Alfred and Arthur dismounted. "What are you doing so far away from any civilisation? Dare I hope you were looking for little old me?"

Arthur glared, having taken an instant dislike to the prissy woman at the first whiff of her accent. Even to Alfred, who didn't care much about politics between other kingdoms, it was well known that the kingdoms of England and France hated each other with a long and petty passion.

"You're the princess who grants wishes, I take it?" Arthur growled.

"Mais oui, bien sur," the woman smiled pompously, flicking her long hair dramatically over her shoulder. "I am Princess Francoise, of the Kingdom of France. It's a pleasure to meet two such handsome young men. At night. Alone. While I'm in my negligee. And so very vulnerable…"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Your Royal Highness," Alfred blurted out, before she could continue. He bowed – putting all those years of boring lessons to god use as he turned on his royal charm. "I'm Prince Alfred, from the Kingdom of America. And this is Prince Arthur – "

"Of England," Francoise interrupted. "Yes, it is rather obvious. I would recognise the Kirkland family eyebrows anywhere."

"Why you – "

Alfred quickly stepped in front of Arthur and shoved him backwards.

"If you don't mind me asking, Your Highness – "

"Oh, please! Call me Francoise!" laughed the princess, waving her hand blithely in the air. "And come in, come in. Don't make me ask you again."

The two princes stepped gingerly into Francoise's cottage, leaving Hero and Wistful to wait outside.

The stallions weren't too happy about this. For weeks now they'd been pushing the two princes together – even when the two humans hated each other – and they'd been getting so close! But now, at the final hurdle, they had to wait outside and hope for the best?! Hero and Wistful silently debated whether or not their oblivious owners would make the right decisions and come to the right realisations without their help.

It was not looking good…

Knowing he just couldn't sit back and wait, Wistful trotted over to the house and nosed open one kitchen window, and then another. Hero joined him, and the two stallions poked their heads into the kitchen and watched the climax of all their hard work unfold.

Inside the homely little kitchen, the princes were standing close together awkwardly, being eyed up very obviously by the princess.

"Francoise, is it – " Alfred tried again.

"May I offer you some coffee? But, it is rather late…Perhaps some wine?"

"Um, maybe in a minute. I was just wondering if you could tell us – "

"But I must offer you something! A pastry perhaps? I could whip up a little cake in no time, I assure you!"

"No, it's fine, really. I just wanted to ask – "

"Oh, but of course! You must be tired! What were you doing out on the road so late? No, no – you can tell me in the morning. Why not come up and I'll tuck you into in to a nice, warm bed, hm? Some of us might have to double up, though."

"OI!"

Francoise deflated. The inviting smile melted from her face and was replaced by a scowl as she turned to Arthur.

"Yes? Prince Arthur?" she asked scathingly.

"Stop changing the subject, and let Alfred get a word in, won't you."

Francoise turned to Alfred, looking strangely intimidating for a woman wearing very little standing in the cold kitchen of an old stone cottage.

"Um…I was just wondering…do you really grant wishes?"

"I do." Francoise had lost her happy, lively attitude, and suddenly looked practically murderous.

But Alfred and Arthur perked up. "Awesome! We've been looking for you for weeks! We heard a lot of different things about your wish. Like do we have to marry you, fall in love with you, rescue you, have a selfless wish or…what?"

Francoise's scowl deepened, giving even Arthur's best glare a good run for its money.

"And people wonder why I ran away to live in the forest," she sighed in frustration.

The two princes lost their train of thought, and just blinked stupidly at her.

"What?" asked Alfred, head tilting to the side in confusion. "Ran away?"

"The wish is truly a curse, I assure you."

Francoise sighed dramatically again and leant against the table dejectedly, ready to tell her tale.

"A year ago I had a suitor: a despicable man, who had such terrible plans of what he would do if he came in to power at my side. Naturally, I refused to marry him. The problem is that I had also refused to marry…well, everyone. Many people have tried to court me in my life – I mean, look at me – but I…well, I know it's a foolish thing to hope for when you're royalty but…my whole life, I have been waiting for true love." The princess's eyes practically started glowing as she talked about her passion, eyes lighting up even in the darkened kitchen, with only the moonbeams spilling through the windows as light. "Ah, true love. It is my raison d'être! The most beautiful thing in the world! How I envy the commoners who have this freedom, where it really counts. I would trade all my riches and power and future if I could just have this."

Alfred and Arthur caught themselves glancing at each other out of the corners of their eyes, and quickly looked away, pretending it hadn't happened.

"But, alas, as a princess I will surely be forced to marry against my will, for no other reason than to uphold my family's reputation. It is unfair! Without true love, how can one possibly survive? Without true love, how can – "

"A-all right!" Arthur interrupted, blushing. "Can you get on to the part about the wish please?"

Francoise looked over at the two princes, looking from one to the other and eyeing them up carefully. She liked very much what their blushing, embarrassed faces told her.

"So rude. Just like an Englishman," she said, and quickly continued before Arthur could voice his outrage. "Well. The despicable suitor I mentioned was so furious that I rejected him, that he asked his fairy godmother to curse me."

"You, too?!" Alfred exclaimed.

"Ah, another victim, I see," Francoise smiled sadly. "Those fairy godmothers need to be restrained, I tell you."

"I know, right! Just doing whatever their dickish godchildren tell them!"

"So, this suitor wanted to punish me," Francoise continued. "He knew that I refused to marry until I found my true love, and so far, my dear papa had indulged me. But with the curse put on me, with everyone knowing that I could grant someone a wish, suitors began to come in floods, offering more and more to my father in exchange for my hand in marriage. My dear papa had no choice but to consider some of these incredible dowries, and I knew it was not long before he gave in and accepted someone.

"And so I ran away. Here. And I've been living happily ever since, if not a bit modestly."

"You're not trapped here?" Alfred asked. "We heard you were a damsel in distress and everything."

Francoise looked confused. "I can assure I am not stuck here. No one needs to rescue me, like it's some fairy tale. Perhaps my father spread a false rumour to get brave knights and princes to go looking for me. Although, I really think letting everyone know about the wish was enough incentive."

"Couldn't you have just granted your wish to any old person?" asked Arthur. "Get the curse off your back, and all that?"

"Don't you think I would have done, if it were that easy? Imbecile," Francoise scoffed, making Arthur turn almost purple in anger. "It must be a selfless wish. And I did not meet anyone in my palace who had one."

At this, Alfred and Arthur paused – and then they realised that this was their opening.

"I DO!" they both shouted at once.

"Oh, do you now?" Francoise smirked at them. She liked these two, and their blatant sexual tension. But she didn't believe their wishes would be any different from the others. "Go on then, let's hear them."

"I wish for Alfred – "

"I WISH FOR ARTHUR – "

"One at a time, please," Francoise demanded, holding up her hand to stop their shouting. She turned to Alfred. "You first. You are making a wish for Arthur? Not for yourself?" Maybe this would be more interesting than she thought.

"Yes, I am," said Alfred solemnly. He took a deep breath. "I wish for Arthur's family to accept him and love him and treat him as they do each other, even though he's a bastard child."

Arthur gulped, wishing the 'bastard child' bit didn't have to be admitted out loud in front of a French princess. But Francoise didn't make any jokes, or even sneer at him. Instead she nodded soberly, and turned to Arthur.

"You next."

"I…I wish for Alfred's curse to be lifted."

"And what is that curse?"

"He…" Arthur paused for a moment, his mouth suddenly going dry. "He can't have true love's kiss."

A very awkward silence settled over the kitchen. The two princes stood there shuffling in embarrassment, and Francoise was trying not to let her excitement show, to see if she could draw this out for a bit longer.

"And that concerns you, does it? That he cannot kiss his true love? You are involved somehow?"

"N-n-n-no!" Arthur stuttered out, so tellingly that the stallions and princess almost wanted to cringe. "I just – it's unfair! The cruse is…unjust and…it should be lifted. It's not like I'm doing this for him. I'm just doing what any good person would do."

"Tell me something," said Francoise thoughtfully, a finger on her chin. "When did you two meet? You are childhood friends, oui?"

"No," Alfred admitted, a little confused. Did it really look like they were that close? "We just met a few weeks ago. We were both on a quest to find you and ask you to grant our own wish. We hated each other at first, and kept doing stupid pranks trying to stop each other from finding you. But then Arthur…sort of saved me…even though it was his fault I was in trouble in the first place. And then we started travelling together and kind of…became friends?"

"And then Alfred said he was going to ask you to grant my wish," Arthur continued. "But his wish is obviously more important than mine." At Francoise's raised eyebrow, Arthur knew he'd said too much. "I mean, he's under a bloody curse! It's not like I care if he can kiss his true love one day, or something – whoever that is. Probably some dumb, pretty, American blonde. A perfect match for him, really. Not that he's pretty! I just mean…uh…Look, it's a bloody curse, all right!" he exclaimed. "Just grant my wish! His wish doesn't matter!"

"But he is making a wish that you want. Don't your own desires matter anymore, Your Highness?"

Arthur looked down at his feet and contemplated this. It's not that they didn't matter. He still wanted his family to think of him as one of them. But for some reason – some reason that was not just because of the unfair curse – he wanted to help Alfred more.

"Not when it comes to Alfred's happiness," he admitted. (And if anyone ever made him say something like that again, he would not be held responsible for the ensuing massacre.)

"I see," said Francoise, greatly enjoying the wide-eyed, blushing expression Alfred had turned to Arthur, who was resolutely ignoring him. "And when you have got your wish, and returned to your own kingdoms, do you plan to go together? Will you see each other again, often?"

The two princes chanced a glance at each other. Arthur opened his mouth, but all that came out was an odd, strangled gurgle, so he quickly shut up.

"We…haven't really talked about it," said Alfred, looking down at the floor, ashamed. "I guess not. We both have stuff to do, royal lives to live, and our kingdoms don't get on too well. Once one of us gets our wish we'll probably just…go our separate ways…I guess."

The two princes stood there, gazing forlornly down at their feet, twin expressions of unhappiness written on their faces.

At last, thought Francoise. At last, I have seen true love.

"I have made my decision," she announced.

The two princes looked up, not even daring to hope. Suddenly, their wishes didn't make them so happy anymore, at the thought that they would barely ever see each other again.

"Both wishes are selfless." At that, Alfred and Arthur began to get excited. "But then again, people in love have a tendency to put their love before themselves."

There was almost a solid minute of silence as the gears in their heads slowly churned and processed what the princess had said. And when the cogs finally clicked into place, the princes turned red in unison and began to flail.

"I'm not – "

"He's not – "

"You don't understand – "

"You've got it all wrong – "

Francoise waved her hand. "Oh, I don't think so. I think this is true love I see before me, and I think I would know true love when I see it. It is my area of expertise, although I have never been lucky enough to be in it myself. And that is why I hate you both for being so obtuse!"

The men stopped their arguing for a moment at the look of hurt and anger on the princess's face.

"All my life I have dreamt and waited and longed for what you have right here in front of you! How dare you be so blind and stupid as to refuse this gift when it's handed to you! Do you even realise how lucky you are?!"

At possibly the worst moment they could have chosen, the two princes looked at each other. And they realised that everything the princess said was true.

But that didn't mean they had to admit it yet.

"Look, if we both have selfless wishes, just pick one and get it over with!" Arthur demanded, crossing his arms stubbornly. "Then you can either stay here in your cottage or sod off back home, curse-free. I don't care either way."

Francoise raised her fine eyebrows at him. "Well. As it happens, I choose your wish, Prince Arthur. And all you do is yell at me? Very gracious of you, indeed. I suppose it's my fault for expecting a thank you from an Englishman."

Arthur's eyes grew double in amazement. "My wish? You…you're granting my wish? Alfred's curse is – "

"All gone," smiled Francoise.

"What, already?" Alfred asked, looking down at his hands as if hoping to see some evidence of magic there. "No sparkles or magic light or anything?"

"I'm not a magician," the princess scoffed, turning her nose in the air. "Although…Now that I think of it, I've never granted a wish before. Maybe I did it wrong. You two had better kiss, just to make sure it worked."

They would have loved to deny her, but as the princes opened their mouths to protest, their stallions whinnied and neighed – practically screaming at them to just do it already.

The princes turned to face each other.

"Um…I guess…we could, then?" Alfred mumbled.

"I-if you insist…" Arthur stuttered.

It could not have been a more awkward true love's first kiss if they tried, thought Francoise. The stallions thought so, too – but they'd be damned if they missed this.

So they watched as Alfred and Arthur each took a step forward, looking anywhere but at each other. Alfred raised his hands and put them on Arthur's shoulders, for something to keep him stable. They stayed like that for far too long, each too nervous to take the next step.

But finally Arthur looked up, catching Alfred's eyes on the way. And Alfred found himself distracted from the awkwardness of their situation as he looked into Arthur's eyes, trying to pick out all the different greens through the milky colour of the moonlight shining on Arthur's face. He was so lost in the face before him that before he had time to worry about it, Alfred was leaning down, Arthur was leaning up, their eyes were closing, and their lips were touching.

At first it was just a touch – if he cared to admit it, it was Alfred's very first kiss, and he'd never really given the technique much thought before. But soon he found his lips moving, actually moulding to Arthur's as they turned their heads a little. A thrill shot through Alfred's body, making every part of his body tingle from his head to his toes. But the thrilling sensation seemed to be mostly concentrated around his heart. He gripped Arthur's shoulders tighter, honestly believing that he might actually float away if he didn't hold on.

Far too soon for Alfred's liking, they drew away from each other, slowly opening their eyes and blinking.

They were just about to smile goofily at each other when there were whinnies, neighs, and loud clapping.

"Oh la la! C'était magnifique! So wonderful! Magical, even! True love's first kiss, right before my eyes!"

Arthur and Alfred found it all too easy to fall into their usual defensive, denial mode.

"It's not like it was true love's first kiss!"

"Yeah, there's no way to tell. But that's good. Now we know I can kiss people."

"Yes. Jolly good. Well done, Alfred."

"Thank you, Arthur."

Francoise laughed at them.

"Well, now that's one problem settled. But what about dear Alfred's wish, hm? Poor Arthur's family won't magically accept him now, will they," the princess asked, trying to encourage along the next part of her plan.

Arthur and Alfred paused in their blustering.

"Oh…Right," said Arthur. He sighed dejectedly, and Alfred's heart would have gone out to him, if it didn't belong to Arthur already. "It's all right. I can keep trying to win them over. I've managed this long, and it's not a bad life really. I'll just – "

"You'll just be the Ambassador between the Kingdoms of England and America."

Arthur turned slowly, and stared at Alfred. "You what?"

"Our kingdoms aren't really friends, right? We've talked about it before. But…well, if you're up for it, we could try and make them be friends? You and I could work together to build up a strong alliance between England and America – the first alliance our kingdoms have had in centuries! That'd make your dad proud, right? And…you and I…we'd get to see each other a lot more…If…if that's something you'd like?"

Arthur blushed and looked away, and Alfred found himself surprised that no matter how many times the English prince did it, it was always as cute as the first time. Because now that he was allowed to think it to himself, he could admit that it had always been pretty cute.

Arthur swallowed thickly. "It's…a brilliant plan, Alfred. And I…I would love that. Very much."

When Arthur dared looked back up, he found Alfred beaming at him so widely that the English prince couldn't help but join in. Alfred took Arthur's hands in his, and they might just have kissed again they were so happy. But they were surprised out of it when they heard the horses neighing in celebration, and Francoise clapping once again.

"You two are like a play!" the princess laughed. "Watching you is so fun. I feel like I should pay you."

"Will you be okay, Princess?" asked Alfred, still holding Arthur's hands. "Will you go home now?"

"I suppose I will," said Francoise, mulling it over. "I may not have liked any of my suitors back in my kingdom, but at least I had some. There's nobody out here at all! I'll never find my true love living out in the wilderness. You two will come and visit me in France, won't you?"

"Sure thing!" smiled Alfred. Arthur only mumbled something unintelligible. "Well, thank you for all your help, Your Highness, but we've kept you up long enough. We'll be off now."

"No trouble at all, dear Alfred. It is I who must thank you, for breaking my curse. If you're sure you must go, then I bid you farewell."

The two princes bowed and took their leave of the princess. Their stallions were waiting for them outside, raring to go.

"Will you go straight home?" asked Francoise, standing in the doorway to see them off.

Alfred and Arthur looked at each other as they sat on their horses.

"We'll go the long way," smiled Arthur, and Alfred grinned back.

"Then I must suggest a lovely little village about a day's ride north of here. Quite the opposite direction of both your kingdoms I'm afraid. But last time I passed through, they were having some trouble with a dragon, I believe."

"All right! YES!" crowed Alfred, pumping his fist in the air.

"Have a safe journey!" Francoise called after them, as the princes started off, waving back at her. "And be sure to invite me to the wedding!"

Hero and Wistful barely noticed Alfred trying to calm a furious Arthur, urging him not to go back and murder the French princess. The stallions were just too content to care, as they trotted merrily down the moonlit road towards new adventure.

Although they both knew they would still have a lot of work keeping an eye on their princes. Those humans were far too oblivious to be trusted on their own. They would need a good pair of horses to make sure they lived happily ever after, until the very end.

And if Wistful and Hero got to live happily ever after together as a result, well, that was just a bonus.

The End.