"To: Uzumaki Naruto

As you are merely an intern at the Konoha Hospital, it is understandable that you are not aware of all rules and regulations to which all staff are obliged. However, recent reports regarding your behavior have been brought to my attention. As your supervisor, I have the responsibility of informing you the following.

Firstly, an elderly patient has reported with chagrin that "a blond, spiky-haired young man and this female nurse" were seen publicly displaying affection in the gymnasium park. "Sucking faces" were his exact words. Another patient has complained that her blood pressure has increased immensely due to being exposed to obscene exchange of saliva between two human life forms. She has also requested a cornea transplant for her eyes were "bleeding".

Now, moving onto the "Accidents and Emergencies" unit. The maternity ward staff have reported a case in which an expectant mother had a panic attack due to an uneventful ultrasound scan. What appeared on the monitor, when the ultrasound was carried out, was a foetus with an alleged third arm protruding from its abdomen. Later onwards, a DVD was found accountable for the non-existent mutant child.

Dr. Gai, as you may know, is seeing a psychiatrist. He was fully convinced that he finally witnessed a patient returning back to life from death, after many years of research on ways to revive patients with near-death experiences. However, he had an emotional breakdown when nurse Kurenai informed him that someone had been switching the heart monitor on and off.

Other cases consist of mysterious holes appearing in IV bags, children being told not to wash their hands, drinking urine samples when they are actually just apple juice, and more.

So please, Uzumaki. Get a room with Hinata, that poor girl. I don't know how you dragged her into this. Maybe in Room 69, you know who goes into there. Keep your DVDs to yourself. Try not to increase the rate of death in this country. We are trying to save lives, after all. Don't make me use colonoscopy on your ass.

Sincerely (not),
Your supervisor (who is currently experiencing aneurysm)

Shizune

P.S. You have 24 hours to clean out the accumulation of faeces-tainted linens you have so kindly hid in Dr. Kakashii's cupboard.

P.P.S. Say goodbye to your recommendation letter."

Wrote a quick one before school starts! If I got any medicine/ hospital terms wrong, I apologize in advance (I have almost no knowledge in that department). Anyway, tell me how that was if you have time, and enjoy the rest of your summer ^^