I got this chapter done so you would have something to get a taste of the sequel. I promise you it will speed up in chapter 2, I just wanted to work Mixed Feelings into this. Enjoy this for now, I promise not to disappoint. Thank you for reading.

Chapter 1

Maura sat across from me at the counter eating a beagle with cream cheese, while I made my way through a banana. Five months ago I had been kidnapped tortured, had gotten free killed my captor, than Maura got hurt by my captors partner and brother who I than shot then the final of the three had turned himself in. We all thought it was over, that was until Maura and I received a call later that day which we ignored until the next morning. Man do I wish we hadn't; a man unknown to me at that exact moment was still out to kill me, just my luck… I went to Korsak, Frost and Cavanaugh with the message and for a month we had tried to track him down, with no such luck. It wasn't until we had exhausted ever lead we had that it came to be known to me who the man was; and when I found out I was both terrified and pissed.

You would think that it being an apprentice of the infamous Charles Hoyt I would know who it is. I mean honestly who know Hoyt better than me, one of his victims? However both of the two apprentices I knew of where dead and this last one claimed to have been there when I killed Hoyt; this would have been Officer Mason who did in fact try to kill Maura and I when Hoyt had failed. If I recall that day as well as I think I do (and I should as it was my birthday) Korsak shot Mason dead, so who the hell was threatening my life? Then I got the phone call from Cavanaugh that explained the whole thing; it also revealed that my teammate, who I trusted indefinitely, had lied to me. Officer Mason was in fact alive; after I had been escorted from the prison where my greatest enemy lay dead on the floor, the found Mason had still had a pulse and rushed him to urgent care. This whole thing remained a secret from me for nearly three years.

For five months I lived with the fear I could be killed at any moment by Mason, I was always looking over my shoulder. The only thing that kept me going was my best friend and now lover Dr. Maura Isles. For five months our relationship grew; and like any couple had its rocky spots, but we always managed to pull through. Something told me it was not our amazing communication skills as much as it was our partnership at work. I basically, now, lived in her house because my overprotective mother and idiotic ex-con brother would not vacate my apartment. Most of the time I was happy being with Maura all the time, but when we had our fights I usually ended up sleeping in the guest house, yeah not the couch the guest house that's how bad it got between us. Today however was one of our better days; we were talking and got a little over friendly when we really shouldn't have.

"Are you going into work today?" I asked, finishing my banana and throwing away the peel.

"If there is a body in the morgue than yes, but it's been unusually slow lately," she replied.

"Cavanaugh pushed a shit-load of paper work on me so I don't know what time I'll be back…" I told her.

"Do you want me to take you to the precinct?" she asked. "I could always go down and see if the lab techs need anything."

"Sure, telling as I still don't have my car," I replied with a small chuckle. "Any idea when I'll be getting it back?"

"None what so ever, sorry love," Maura always had a way of making me smile.

Maura got up from the bar-stool, the beagle completely gone, and walked over to me. I rose but didn't move to meet her, I let her kiss me lightly and leave me wanting more like she always did which drove me crazy… I followed her out to the car like a whipped dog (which I felt like most of the time around her). Maura drove the limit and we reached the precinct in a little over fifteen minutes, I could have done it in five, but I had learned not to bug Maura about her driving. At the elevators we separated, she went down to the morgue I went up to brick. Frost greeted me with a half hearted 'hey' and Korsak did nothing more but nod at me. When it had been revealed to me that I had been lied to I lost most of my trust with my comrades, both of them were still trying to get it back. I sat at my desk and started on my paper work, small cases that I had work on in the past two months.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

After nearly four hours of writing and hand cramps I went down to see Maura. I needed someone who I could actually talk to, I wanted to talk to Korsak and Frost but I just couldn't; I was unable to bring myself to forgive them. Maura was behind her desk, as she always seemed to be these past couple of weeks. For some reason, that I'm happy for, the last few weeks had been extremely quiet. I leaned into the desk and smiled at her, she smiled back after finally looking up from her papers.

"Took you longer than usual," she laughed.

"I had a lot of paper work," I explained. "So what about you? Not even a natural death?"

"For once no, I'm glad it's slow right now," Maura told me. "The lab techs are glad to have a day or two off, but as the Chief Medical Examiner for the Common Wealth of Massachusetts I get stuck with all of the paper work."

"Something you want to do, like now?" I asked. "Go get lunch, go bother my ma?"

"Coffee sounds good right now," she replied.

"God Stanley is at it again, I swear to god I found a sock in the coffee pot yesterday," I scrunched my nose.

"Then we won't get it upstairs," Maura smiled. "We could walk to that café down the street."

"Lead the way doctor," I motioned to the door.

Maura took the offer and walked ahead of me, I lagged behind to get a better view, call it wrong but trust me. On the elevator I stood behind Maura and wrapped my arms around her waist resting my head on her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Eh, refraining from doing anything more than holding you," I replied. "We still on for tomorrow?"

"Unless something comes up we are, I hope you aren't going to wear that," Maura looked back at me.

I stuck my tongue out and followed her out to the street; it was busy at the afternoon rush hour and the streets where crowded like usual. Maura stuck close to my side, knowing I was extremely uncomfortable still in crowds. Not knowing if Officer Mason would appear behind me as shoot me two dozen times in the back. Maura took my hand, running her thumb over the scars on the back of my hand, the ones Hoyt had left. Being out in public with her and not hiding, felt good, felt right; but being someone easily recognized after the shooting two years ago caused it to be hard. Walking into the café I let Maura go and order while I fought for a table, flashing the badge scared a young couple away; I hated abusing my status as a cop but seriously. When Maura finally got our order she came to the table handed me my coffee and shook her head, knowing that I had flashed my badge.

"Why do you do that?"

"Don't want the doctor to hurt her feet, I mean God Maura those heels are ridiculous," I replied, laughing.

"Jane these heels are very comfortable," she informed me.

"Well my feet hurt," I shot back.

She shook her head again and took a sip of her coffee, I sipped at mine but still managed to burn my tongue.

"Hot coffee."

"Better then Stanley's?" Maura asked.

"Much," I replied.

I continued to drink, now having no feeling in my tongue, as I watched Maura who seemed slightly distracted. For a month or two she had been zoning out on me and missing complete conversations and every time I asked what was wrong she replied with a 'nothing'. This time instead of trying to talk to her, I placed my hand on hers, hoping it would snap her back to the present; back to me. Immediately she snapped back to look at me, as if she had never been off in Maura world. She looks at me like nothing was up, but I knew there was; I wasn't a good detective because of my looks, I had one of the best guts in the Boston PD.

"Did I do it again?" she asked.

"Yes, Maura, you did," I replied. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I don't know why I've been doing that to you…" she seemed to trail off.

This time I let her, I just drank the rest of my coffee and let her ignore me. After ten minutes though I started to get slightly angry, I shook her hand and once again pulled her from her trance-like state. She looked at me again, sighing at my frustration, we walked out together headed back to the precinct and went our separate ways once again. I sat down at my desk, angry for no reason. My paper work was done, I had no calls to make, Korsak and Frost were still knee deep in there paper work. For an hour I played solitaire on the computer waiting for something more to happen. Finally my phone rang, wasn't sure if I was happy about that; I answered it.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli, Boston Homicide," I answered.

"Hello, Detective it's been some time," the voice on the other end of the line purred.

My heart stopped, I waved frantically to Korsak and Frost trying to get them to understand. Frost seemed to understand perfectly, he went to his computer and started typing frantically.

"Mason, what the hell do you want?" I growled.

"So they told you, I'm not dead?" he didn't ask. "I think it's time to start our next game… and this time I won't let you survive."

"Why are you doing this Mason?" I was close to shouting.

"Why not Jane, if Hoyt had finished you then it wouldn't be like this. I'm finishing what he started." Mason laughed. "And Jane, you won't find me by tracing this call, prepaid, untraceable. Sorry about your luck. I'll see you soon."

The line went dead; I slammed the phone down and let out a stream of cuss-words. The time I had to prepare myself was over, now I had to start looking over my shoulder more than necessary to survive. Korsak left the room but returned within seconds with Cavanaugh by his side; Cavanaugh came right over to me.

"Did he call?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, sir," I replied trying not yell.

"Alright Jane listen, I don't want you going anywhere without a police escort, no arguing. An officer will be placed outside of your house twenty-four-seven," he ordered.

"I can take care of myself," I told him.

"I know you can, but Jane after your last run in with Mason and what happed five months ago I'm not taking any chances," he came back.

"Put those cars at Maura's house then not my apartment," I practically ordered him.

"I will do that," he agreed. "Jane, go home take the rest of the night of come back with a clear mind, alright?"

"But sir-" I wanted to argue.

"Go home Rizzoli, both you and Maura," he repeated more sternly. "Korsak and Frost will escort you home tonight."

I didn't try to argue farther, instead I called Maura on her cell explained what was going on and she told me she would be up in a couple of minutes in the café. Korsak and Frost stood behind me in the elevator, for a second it felt like before when the three of us had worked a case, but it soon dissipated when I was reminded that they had lied. Maura was like she promised in the café when we got down there, the question of how she got there first was not about to be answered. Frost, Maura and I piled into one car while Korsak followed behind us, although I wanted to take a detour and make a stop before we headed back to Maura's. I glanced at Maura and, as if reading my mind, nodded knowing where I wanted to go.

Maura made a turn of the main street, causing Frost to freak out momentarily before Maura explained where we were going. Frost shook his head but called Korsak behind us to fill him in. Where I wanted to go was twenty minutes away from the precinct, thirty minutes away from Maura's house. After a long and quiet car ride Maura pulled to the side of the rode next to the open gates of the cemetery. Keeping my eyes cast forward I stepped out of the car, hoping Maura would keep both Korsak and Frost back for ten minutes. This was the only place I ever felt safe enough to be alone. Behind me however I heard a car door start to open; immediately followed by it closing, and then two more, I could barely hear what was going on behind me as I continued walking.

"Don't," Maura ordered Korsak and Frost. "She prefers to be alone out here."

"Why?" Frost asked, not understanding.

"Because she killed him by herself, for some reason she feels the need to visit him alone…" Maura replied. "She won't even let me go up with her."

"Jane's always been a little strange," Korsak observed.

"She just wants one thing to herself; for some reason his death really hurt Jane…" Maura's voice was no more than a whisper.

Finally far enough away that I could no longer hear the conversation going on between my comrades I made a slow pace towards the grave of the man I had killed. I just couldn't help feeling guilty about what I had done. It had been in self-defense but that changed nothing to me; the man I had killed had been completely different from the man who had most likely saved my life. They were two completely different men in the same body, one deserving to die; the other deserving a chance to have a life without his evil other half. I finally came across the stone that read his name date of birth and death, and one thing I paid out of my own pocket to have done was have the Fisherman's Prayer carved into the back. I felt it was the least I could do for Johnny Burton, who's last name was actually Johnny Jonson, weird huh… Johnny had never once expressed that Derek was his brother and in death I wouldn't let him be punished in death by bearing that last name.

I stood over the stone, in complete silence, unable to come up with the words to say. Over the past five months I had visited his gravesite numerous times; every time alone, and for hours. This time I didn't have hours I had no more than fifteen minutes to get the words out this time. Unconsciously running my fingers over a groove in my shirt, caused but the scar Johnny had left; I finally got the words to come.

"I bet you're getting tired of me around here John… But I really needed to talk with someone, something. I wish I could have talked to you more, you could have told me ex-Officer Mason had hired your brother… Mark Kopp never told us and now he's on death row. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I would rather see you getting treatment than lying six feet below me… You left so many scars on my John but I still can't hate you for it, I can only hate the fucking brother of yours… he forced you into this Johnny he's the reason your dead… But I still can't help but blame myself, I'm so sorry John, I really am…"

Before I lost control of my emotions I turned on my heel and walked swiftly back to the car. Maura said nothing and kept Frost and Korsak quiet as I returned to the passenger seat of the car, slamming the door shut. Frost got back into the back seat and Maura took the driver's seat, and started the car turning in the direction of the house. The ride was quiet like before but now, unlike before, there was a thick air of uneasiness which seemed to stem from Frost. When Maura pulled into the driveway I could clearly see an unmarked police car across the street and another one passing the house. I didn't speak to Korsak or Frost I just went to the front door to wait for Maura as she did speak to them and I think apologize for my coldness towards them.

When Maura and I where alone inside I was unable to take another step, I slid to the floor and finally let the dam break. With the tears flowing freely I could barely see Maura kneel down next to me, and wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't had wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her.

"He want to kill me Maura, I could handle Hoyt, he was just one man," I sobbed. "Mason has connections; he hired three men to kill me. This time he's really going to do it Maura."

"He won't kill you Jane, he's already failed twice," Maura tried to assure me.

"What if he succeeds this time Maura? Then what?" I asked, not wanting to hear her answer, I was relieved when she fell silent.

"We'll figure it out tomorrow Jane," Maura said. "Normally you would tell me he would have to go through you to hurt me, but now I'm telling you. He won't touch you until he can get through me."

"You're suicidal…" I muttered, wiping my eyes.

"I just don't want you to make me miserable tonight, Jane," she said kissing my cheek.