A/N: Okay, so the first one of these got a lot of attention, people called me brilliant. I like being called brilliant. It would be even better if I knew what the hell I was doing. Love it or hate it, I'm trying to work out a writing formula.

She has already shot him two warning looks, both of which go unheeded. She can predict the outcome now, this is whole undercover operation is going to be blown by male pride.

Esposito and Ryan are loving their surveillance assignment. They've been watching Castle awkwardly schmooze his way into a round of poker with some Russian mob bad boys, Beckett posing as his girlfriend. They've also been observing their boy determined to prove his place by downing Russian vodka. The good stuff. The kind with teeth.

Kate watches him down a fourth drink in quick succession. While she knows him to be fairly manly in his personal drinking; whiskey, gin, and the occasional beer, she also knows he doesn't drink this much in one sitting. But the clown in the roughish white shirt, unbuttoned to mid-chest, with perfect cufflinks sitting across from Castle seems to be playing an annoying machismo game of whose-more-like-James-Bond? He's been shooting Beckett lustful looks all night. Her tight, short dress isn't helping assuage the jealous tension.

She's hung on Castle's shoulder between hands, but when she stands to remove his glass, a not-so-subtle-hint, she feels it.

He just slapped her ass.

And now she knows he must be inebriated, because even undercover, she knows he knows she isn't above striking him. She isn't even trying to hide her tight lips and cutting stare at him.

"Another drink, babe."

"Don't you think you've had enough, dorogoy?" God, her Russian act is so damn sexy, he thinks. But the way she hisses it doesn't seem to faze him.

"Your girl wear the pants?" the Russian spits, pushing a pile of chips to the center of the table. "You man enough to play?"

"She does what I tell her," Castle challenges back, looking from his opponent to his partner, "another drink, babe."

"Of course, dorogoy," she replies through pursed lips.

She brings him water. It looks like vodka, but the moment he sips it, his eyes are on her. She smirks.

A few more hands and their Russian finally produces what they've been looking for, the key to a safety deposit box that he swears has more money in it. The key belongs to their homicide victim and in a flash Ryan and Esposito are crowding the room and arresting him. Kate helps Esposito with the cuffs, but when the turn around, Castle is passed out, face down and mouth open on the poker table.

"Guess all that 'pants-wearing' wore him out," Ryan mocks, producing a cell phone camera to document his humility.

"Great, you had your fun, now help me get him to the van, "she scolds.

They manage to get him to his feet, an arm slung over each of their shoulders, but Castle isn't exactly small, and he's crushing both of them as they stagger out of the building.

"Katie," he finally says, stirring, "we gonna play a game tonight?"

Shit. This is so not okay, they haven't made anything public yet and Ryan can totally hear.

"Can we play Nikki Heat? I really like when you only wear . . ." she pokes him hard in the side, hoping it shuts him up.

"Ow!"

Ryan smirks, glancing at both of them.

The pain only serves to wake him, not shut him up.

"Jeez, I thought you said you liked it when you got to pat me down."

A disgusted look crosses Ryan's face as he and Kate glance at each other sheepishly and simultaneously respond, "Shut up, Castle."

Esposito is storing the headsets when they get to the van, the back doors wide open. A slow smile spreads across his face as he sees his partners struggle. Hopping out, he eggs them on, "you having a hard time holding your liquor, man?"

There is a moment of struggle as they try to have Castle step up into the back, Kate guiding from the front as the boys handle each side. But he's too far gone, and he's only too happy to have Kate in his direct line of vision.

"Ka-ate," he singsongs his greeting, "you're pretty." A giant cheesy smile covers his face.

"Get in the van, Castle." He makes like he is stepping up but his depth perception is all off and suddenly he is going down, the boys drop his arms and he slides his way down Kate's body, on his knees, resting his face low on her stomach. Shit. It's awkward enough, and then he kisses her stomach and wraps his arms around her hips.

Her arms are raised in surrender, mortification written across her face. The boys are waiting for her to kill Castle.

"Man, what are you doing?" Esposito starts, pushing at the man's shoulder.

"Just restin'."

Kate comes to her senses and with both hands, pushes his head from her abdomen as she commands, "Castle, stand up."

She is so glad the boys cannot see where his hands are at the moment.

He sighs, "I'm gonna get in trouble for this aren't I?"

Ryan bites his lips to contain his laughter.

Relief is written over their faces when he pushes up on one knee, but what they don't expect is that he slides his arms lower on Beckett, bending her in half and dropping her over his shoulder as he stands and sways.

"Castle!" she yells.

"Yo, man, put her down," Esposito is a little scared for her.

She's grabbed his waist, her hair wild as she hangs upside down on his back. She feels another slap on her rear as he tightens his grip around her legs.

"Wearin' the pants," Castle says nodding his head at the boys, a prideful grin sealing his fate.

"Shoot him," they hear Beckett's muffled command.

"Okay man, easy," Ryan is talking him down, hands on his back to support the man from falling over. He pushes the writer's shoulders, causing him to lower Beckett enough to slide off him.

Once her feet touch the ground she pushes him roughly by the shoulders causing him to fall back on his rear, and it's with anger she says, "you make a lousy drunk, Castle."

Still too happy for her own sense of frustration, his observation is cheerful as he looks up at her, "Hey, don't be grumpy, you always wake-up grumpy, you should work on that."

She is mortified, "Get in the van, Castle."

She looks at her partners, eyebrows raised and well-placed smirks across both faces, "All of you get in the damn van."

They're side-by-side on the short bench seat in the back, she's tried sitting with her arms crossed, displaying her annoyance, but he keeps putting his hand on her knee, forcing her to swat at him. He doesn't seem to mind her irritation.

He's sobered a bit by the time they get him to the lobby of his building, and although he's less aggressive, he's just as happy. He's abandoned the boys help and is leaning heavily on Kate.

"I've got it from here," she calls to them as the elevator doors open.

"Course you do," Esposito says.

"Nighty-night," Ryan smiles knowingly, waving with child-like enthusiasm.

"I cannot believe you tonight," she hisses at him once the elevator doors close.

"What?" He says innocently.

"Like they aren't going to tease us at every opportunity now. Thanks for keeping this between us."

"Don't be mad, Kate," he says, pulling her to wrap his free arm around her, nuzzling her neck, "I won't remember why in the morning."

It occurs to her, that's useful information.

oxoxoxoxoxox

He wakes up with a wicked headache, barely able to blink his eyes open. He can make out her form looming over him.

"Kate?"

"Thanks Castle," she says a little too loud and a lot too cheerful.

"For what?"

"Last night was amazing. Best sex we've ever had." And with that, she kisses his cheek and leaves.

Xoxoxoxoxoxo

For days he's been begging her to tell him.

Her only response is a cryptic, "Who wears the pants?"

"What does that even mean?"

"Castle," she leans in close. Too close, "we probably shouldn't even talk about it, what we did could be considered illegal in this state."

"Did what Kate? I don't even remember!"

"Am I so forgettable, Castle?" She says, feigning offence and turning away.

Unseen by him, a giant smile spreads across her face as she hears him scramble to follow her.