Thank you for the quote, zypher
All of us have courage; it comes in all shapes and sizes. All you have to
do is to follow your heart and let your dreams guide you.
In Memory
The gentle spring day outside was a crystal blue. Leaves of bright emerald unfolded from the trees awakening from winter sleep. Nature had touched the cold barren cement of Domino City and left unfurling vegetation, tender green shoots springing from the rich dark earth and shy buds that would bloom into Japan's most beloved blossom, the sakura.
All this was reflected in a pair of large purple eyes, which were currently droopy from boredom. Under the bored eyelids, the purple eyes were glazed over in pensive meditation. Yuugi Motou was staring outside the window, wishing the clock would tick faster so school would be dismissed.
"Mr. Motou? I don't suppose you could provide us with the answer as to why the Battle of the Somme was called a bloodbath, hm?"
"The Battle of the Somme is often labelled the bloodiest battle of the Great War or the First World War (1914-1918) because casualties totalled more than 50 000. As was most battles fought during this war, the battle of the Somme was a battle of attrition, when both sides threw massive numbers of soldiers at the opponent in hopes of winning by sheer force of numbers, contributing to the highest casualty rates of any wars during the 20th century, including the casualty statistics for the Korean and Cold War combined." Yuugi rattle off the history as if he were reading from a textbook, his mind far away from the confines of the history classroom. He continued to look out the window.
The teacher stood baffled behind his lectern staring at the student. Shaking his head, he continued to survey the room with a hawk's eye. Most students shrank into their seats, not wanting to get called on.
Class was finally dismissed and, with a collective sigh of relief, the students began to gather their belongings. The room filled with noisy and excited chatter as friends discussed their plans for the spring break. The short violet-eyed youth also began to pack his school things, waiting for the classroom to empty before he walked slowly into the hall. Merging into the flow of the student bodies in the hallway, he let himself be swept away, manoeuvring slightly to get back to his locker. Three other youths were gathered there.
"Hey Yuugi," they collectively greeted him. He made an effort to smile then proceeded to open his locker.
"Thank Kami-sama school is out for a week! I don't think I woulda survived being stuck in this hellhole for another hour, never mind five days." Joey leaned against the lockers.
"I think we're all glad for a break," agreed Anzu.
"Tristan snorted. "If you mean I-would-give-my-right-arm-and-leg-for-a- break glad, I'm a hundred percent behind you. Joey's right, there's only so much of school that you can take."
"Hey Yuug, aren't you glad to be outta jail?"
"Mmhmm, Jou-kun."
Jou raised his eyebrow slightly at his friend's lack of enthusiasm. Usually Yuugi was sparkling with enthusiasm but not today. The blond mentally shrugged. Probably just tired, considering he just had history class. Man, that devil-of-a-teacher could be such an-. "So, you guys have any plans for the week?" Yuugi asked, trying to make conversation.
"Yeah." A broad grin spread over Jou's features. "Mai 'n I are going out tomorrow night, then I'm gonna go visit my mom and Shizuka. It'd be nice to get rid of pops for the week. Oh, by the way Yuug, I was talkin' to Shizuka a coupla days ago and she sends her thanks."
Yuugi smiled. "Anyone would've done the same thing if they were in my position. She's lucky to have a brother like you, Jou." Unused to the praise, Jou flushed slightly.
"So, uhh. that rest of you doing anything the next week?"
Anzu nodded. "I'm using the week to rehearse my new dance. The performance is coming up in about a month and I'm nowhere near ready."
"You'll be fine Anzu. We'll come to cheer you on."
"Thanks, Yuugi." The brunette smiled warmly at her childhood friend, not quite noticing the faraway look in his purple eyes as he smiled back.
"I'm going camping with my parents out of town. Hey Yuug, didn't you say that your grandpa's away visiting a friend? You can come with us if you like. My parents would be happy to have you around." He snickered. "And what I say about outhouses are only half true." Jou opened his mouth to make a comment on facilities that were basically holes in the ground, but thought better of it. Yuugi needed to get out. He had been holed up in the Game Shop for too long, having to look after the store with his grandpa away. Maybe it was the added responsibility of managing the business full- time with the addition of school, but Yuugi had been listless lately, uncharacteristically silent when the group of friends were hanging out. He had taken to wearing more black, like the leather pants and black sleeveless shirt he had on today, offset by heeled black boots. The most unusual change about the slim teenager was his pensive eyes. They were a stormy purple colour, unlike the bright violet that they usually were
A short pause. "Thanks for the offer Tristan but I'm. busy the next week too. I'm. going out of town too."
"Oh? Where to, Yuugi?" Anzu questioned.
"To remember." Yuugi hefted his backpack, closed his locker and waved good- bye to his friends, whose faces reflected puzzlement over the youth's enigmatic answer. They watched him melt into the crowded hallway, gravity- defying hair just visible above the heads of the general student body.
"Something's wrong."
~~ ~~ ~~
Yuugi walked in silence, eyes downcast and seemingly burdened by his backpack. The brilliance of spring greenery bloomed around him, making him look like a dark shadow among the vivid green hues. He was turning around a corner, when a tall form stepped in front of him.
"Yuugi Motou." The youth looked up at the voice and was met with a pair of icy blue eyes.
"Seto," he acknowledged the taller boy in the same formal manner.
"If you are free tonight, it would be a pleasure to challenge you to a duel. I haven't duelled a worthy opponent in quite some time. Mokuba has also been asking about you. I'm sure he would be pleased if you spent the evening at our mansion." The Kaiba spoke with courtesy but couldn't quite mask the authoritative business-like tone he was so accustomed to.
"I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint. I'm. going out of town tonight."
"Oh."
"Say hi to Mokuba for me. Maybe we can duel some other time, Seto. Good- bye." With that, Yuugi walked past the teenage CEO. Icy blue eyes followed the retreating figure. They narrowed as Kaiba analyzed their brief conversation. Yuugi had never refused to duel before. Deciding it wasn't his problem, only his disappointment, the tall duelist walked off towards the nearby elementary school where his brother was waiting for him.
~~ ~~ ~~
The Turtle Game Shop in Domino City lay still and quiet, a "closed" sign hanging in the doorway. Without a single occupant, the store looked small and forlorn, tucked in the shadows of the calm spring night. A solitary figure, shoulders hunched and hands jammed in the pockets of his jeans, walked up to the store and pressed against the glass of the display. He was soon joined by two other figures, both of which approached the Game Shop to vainly search for its owner.
"Guess you guys were worried about him too." Anzu's voice trailed off.
"He's been pretty distant lately. Definitely not himself," speculated Honda.
"Well, I see this is where I join the club." A dry voice made the trio turn around. Jou started slightly at seeing the brown-haired genius. It wasn't like Kaiba to actually care about anyone outside his narrow circle of friends and family; namely Mokuba. Yet, under the rasp of sarcasm, there was a note of concern, out of place in the normally cool commanding tone.
"What are you doing here, Kaiba?"
"Same reason the three of you are here. Yuugi's gone. I phoned the Game Shop an hour ago and the voice machine picked up. Message said it'll be closed for the week." Silence descended on the group.
"We've gotta find him, ask him what's wrong." Jou hated being helpless when his friends were in pain. Yuugi had once asked him a riddle, and he had replied with an answer that he had taken to heart and never forgotten. He set his jaw in determination, though some part of him wondered where in the whole of Japan they could find him. The rational one of the group, Kaiba echoed this sentiment.
"We don't have any idea where he could have gone. It would be a fruitless search"
"There's gotta be something we can do." Surprisingly, it was a soft British accent that put the discussion to rest.
"There's nothing to be done in looking for him, Jou, although I understand that you feel as if you need to do something to help. The best thing to do is to just give him space. He will come back on his own." Ryou quietly joined the group huddled in front of the Game Shop.
"Ryou, do you know where he is?" Anzu inquired.
"To remember."
~~ ~~ ~~
The train rattled in a soothing clatter away from Domino City. Yuugi sat on a narrow fold-out chair by the window, looking at the night-shrouded scenery pass by. The buildings and apartments of urban life had been abandoned long before, replaced by rows square fields drifting away into the distance, interspersed by simple farming communities. The countryside was soothing, as was the rattle of the train speeding towards his destination. It calmed the youth's nerves to be far away from Domino, from his friends. Vaguely, he wondered if they had noticed his odd behaviour of late, then shrugged it off. He would apologize to them when he got back; after all, they were busy with their own activities. Surely they wouldn't miss him. He didn't want them to worry or suspect anything was amiss. Considerate as he usually was, Yuugi reflected that this time, his concern for his friends' feelings were entirely selfish. He didn't want their persistent inquiries into his moodiness. With a slight flash of annoyance, he thought that he had every right as they to be sad, unhappy, depressed. Even the calmest summer day could darken and boil into a hurricane.though to be fair it wasn't like him at all to erupt into a storm of moodiness. Not like him. like whom then? So what if he wasn't his light cheery self and more like. Yuugi swallowed the small lump in his throat. Damn these train compartments and their colonies of ancient dust bunnies.
Abruptly, the teenager got up, stretching his tall lean frame. Quickly and quietly, he moved down the length of the train to the eating coach, where he drank a glass of water. Returning to his assigned car, violet eyes turned briefly towards the cramped sleeping cabin, where three bunk beds were stacked on top of each other, two rows on each side of the room. The compartment held only two people and two small suitcases plus his bag on the topmost bunk to the right, better than most days when passengers literally slept stacked on top of each other. Careful not to make any noise, the tri-colour haired boy perched on the edge of the lowermost bunk with cat-like grace and retrieved his duffel bag. It was light, containing only a few necessities. Clutching it loosely to his chest, Yuugi took his seat again by the window to watch the night roll by.
The train cut through the night like a knife steadily gliding through cream. The sun rose, highlighting the countryside with the glow of a fresh spring morning. Its golden rays found their way into the train's compartment, where they lighted upon a figure sleeping by the window. The boy stirred and hugged the bag he held in his hands closer to him, finding comfort in its proximity.
"Konnichiwa, passengers." Bleary violet eyes opened then winced at the sunlight. "We will be arriving in Nara in an hour. Please be ready with all your belongings fifteen minutes before your arrival for a quick departure. In the meantime, enjoy your complimentary breakfast in the dining coach. Waitresses will also be coming around with coffee, tea, and breakfast boxes. Thank you for choosing Todaji Express. We hope your stay with us was pleasant and that you enjoy your stay in Nara."
Awakened by the announcement, passengers were beginning to bustle through their morning routines. Yuugi watched them briefly, then rose from his seat and stretched muscles that were sore from sleeping in such an awkward position. A waitress pushing a tray full of food accidentally bumped into him, causing him to drop his duffel bag. Yuugi glared at her as she hastily picked it up, muttering apologies. The waitress hurried down the hall to get away from the angry red-purple eyes. Yuugi sighed. Was nothing sacred anymore? He hefted the bag, placing an arm around it protectively despite the fact that it jabbed into his arms, and sauntered off to the dining room in search of coffee.
He had just set the empty and still-warm mug down on the table when he felt the train roll smoothly to a halt. Taking his place in a line-up of people, the tall youth waited patiently to get off the train. Bags of luggage jostled into him, followed by soft murmurs of apology. He made no move to move into a less crowded place, only cradling his duffel bag more cautiously. Finally, the passengers spilled out onto the train platform. Since it was early morning, the train station was relatively quiet, save for the small influxes of people boarding and departing from the trains. Yuugi followed the general dispersion of people, heading towards the exit. Ticket in hand, he moved efficiently past the necessary procedures and pushed through a turnstile to leave the station.
The black-clad boy ambled almost aimlessly down the sidewalk, stopping occasionally to examine the price listings of car and bike rentals posted on the shop display-fronts that lined the street. Deciding they were all too expensive, he opted to consult a bus stop schedule. There was a bus leaving for the Nara Satomiya Shrine every ten minutes after nine o'clock. Yuugi checked his watch; eight forty-five. So, he leaned against the railings to wait. The bus arrived early and picked up several passengers, most of whom were carrying large bags full of offerings or saimotsu for the various kamis or deities of the shrine. Taking a seat near the back, Yuugi suddenly felt embarrassed. Thinking that it would be a quick and light trip, he had packed in less than ten minutes, wanting to get away from Domino as early as possible. He had not brought offerings for the shrine, not did he have the money to spare for donation. Unaware of the slight blush that softened his cheeks, Yuugi spent the rest of the bus ride pondering over his dilemma, his mind simmering with anxiety.
The bus quickly made its way through the quiet suburbs of Nara. Leaving the residential areas behind, it began to travel uphill. Houses and buildings gave way to forest, the youthful spring green shading the bus from the increasing heat of the late morning sun. The trees stretched their branches towards the sky, upraising their arms so that their leaves created an emerald canopy through which flecks of sunlight escaped through to dapple the road below. Every once so often, a small hokora shrine decorated the side of the road, surrounded by a semi-circle of offerings such as fresh flowers and fruits with an occasional plate of rice balls arranged immaculately.
After an hour's travel, the woods opened to a clearing containing several buildings. The structures were arranged around a central courtyard, an open space paved with white stones interspersed with several sakura trees in mid-bloom, with a prayer space in the middle. A torrii gateway served as an entrance, flanked by stone statues of two canine guardians, shishi- koma-inu. The bus stopped, unloading its passengers. Yuugi waited until the crowd had thinned, then made his way towards the torrii, slightly apprehensive. As he stepped through the gateway, he was surprised to feel a wave of peace wash through him. Stepping through the torrii was like stepping into another world, one disconnected from the worries and burdens of reality. He closed his eyes briefly, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from him. The amethyst eyes opened again, reflecting the morning sun in a strangely clear way. With a lighter step, Yuugi walked to the plain administrative building. An old priest was there, talking to two younger apprentices that he sent out on an errand. The purple-robed elder's deep mahogany eyes fell on his visitor.
"Konnichiwa, Guji-sama." Yuugi bowed.
"Konnichiwa-"
"Yuugi."
"Yuugi. Is there something you need?"
Yuugi hesitated slightly. "Yes, I have a request."
"Speak."
"I would like to request a Sôsai ceremony."
"Such ceremonies are usually not performed at shrines." Yuugi hesitated slightly. The priest's tone of voice was plainly honest. He noticed also that he had not been outright rejected.
"Yes, I realize that, but I would like to pay respect to a mikoto. He did not have a proper ceremony honouring his.death and I feel as if I owe this to him." The piercing mahogany eyes searched the violet ones, with vision as bright and sharp as an eagle's. It was almost as if Yuugi had laid his soul out for the priest to read. The elder took his times perusing the pages of the soul, making the boy nervous. "Onegai, he was very important to me."
"Before I perform the ceremony, I ask two things in return. The ujiko need help in the maintenance of the shrine. You will help them with whatever tasks they need. In return, you are welcome to stay at the shrine in the caretaker's cottage" Yuugi nodded.
"Secondly, you must perform an o-hyakudo." Puzzlement coloured the younger boy's face. "Now," the priest said, ignoring the visitor's non-verbal question, "the ujiko will familiarize you with the maintenance needs." He pointed towards a smaller building slightly removed from the shrine compound.
"Arigatou, guji-sama." Yuugi bowed and left to find the caretaker.
~~ ~~ ~~
Yuugi blew the golden bangs out of his tired purple eyes and continued to meticulously scrub the floor. He could almost see his reflection on the wet wood. The wooden floor was smooth and well worn by the feet of many worshippers come to pay respect to the kami. Their unhurried feet had softened the natural grooves of the wood until they were nonexistent, the planks as even as the quiet that hung over the temple. The uniformity of the planks soothed the boy in an odd fashion. The cloth he was using to clean the floor slid back and forth in an even rhythm. He enjoyed the calm, relishing in the warm fatigue in his muscles, the way a general weariness wrapped around his brain, the slow bleaching of the colour of the floor as it slowly dried. He was glad that he was too tired to think, to feel anything other than the skin of his fingertips get wrinkly. The cloth continued its journey back ad forth over the wood, making occasional stops at a bucket of water. Then back to the mesmerising rhythm of back and forth on the mahogany mirror.
A whisper of movement interrupted the methodical swish of the cloth.
"Here, change into this." The priest pressed a clean change of clothing into the youth's hands and walked out. Clad in simple white robes, Yuugi stepped out into the sun-lit compound, where he found the old monk waiting for him. The priest's brown eyes caught his and he turned, heading towards the woods on the edge of the cluster of buildings. Yuugi jogged until he had almost caught up to the older man, then fell in step with his stride behind him. Briefly, he wondered where they were going. The smell of earth filled the air. Few people worshipping at the shrine ventured into the wood, only for brief strolls before returning to the city, and all ceremonies took place in the haiden. The wind breathed between the blossoms of the sakura-laden trees. The two men continued in silence a good way into the wood, walking in tandem.
A faint noise raised its voice over the thrum of the forest. It grew louder until Yuugi identified it as running water. The priest slipped over several large boulders easily and disappeared. Yuugi followed over the mossy rocks, nearly tripping in the process.
"Remove your shoes." The priest was standing barefoot in the small stream with his trousers rolled up. The boy followed suite, laying his shoes on the bank. The water was icy cold, producing a shiver which the boy tried to suppress. The older man dipped his hands in the water, washing his face. The youth watched, fascinated, conscious of the freezing waters that swirled around his ankles. The priest stopped, cocking his head to look at the boy. The youth bent over stiffly and washed. He felt the cold pierce his warm cocoon of fatigue, jolting his brain. The cold stayed on his skin a long time, as if it had nestled into his muscles and refused to let go. But he felt clean, as he continued trudging deeper into the wood behind the priest.
They reached a clearing. Small tufts of grass grew on the dirt field between a large stone and an enormous tree, both layered with age. The priest approached the stone and bowed before it. He turned his sharp mahogany eyes on the youth.
"You will be performing the hyakudomairi, the hundred pilgrimages here. You will walk from the shrine," he pointed at the rock, "to the tree and back a hundred times, each time performing a bow." He turned. "Take as long as you need." And with that, the priest disappeared into the wood, leaving the boy unsure of what to do.
A sigh later, the white-clad youth bowed before the rock, feeling slightly ridiculous. Walk to the tree, touch its rough brown bark and marvel at its gigantic height. He saw strings of paper offerings encircling some of the branches, which shuddered at a sudden gust of strong wind. He turned back to the rock, walking to it and bowing. One. Only Ninety-nine more to go. Soon, he fell into a rhythm. Walk, stop before the tree, turn around, walk, bow before the stone, turn. Like everything else associated with the shrine, the activity followed rhythms and cycles that made life repetitive and freed the mind to think and the soul to wander. The world faded to only the tree, the rock and the thin line of grass that separated the two. Soon, even these mundane and trivial objects of physical reality faded.
When Yuugi raised his eyes from the ground, he was staring into darkness. Puzzled, he stopped. The clearing was gone, everything swallowed by an inky night. Deprived of sight, he extended his other senses. His feet were still grounded on something solid, his body was standing in a vertical position, his hand. there was something in his hand. Out of instinct, he held it in front of his face, only to realize that he could not see. He ran his hands over the object. Smooth, with regular ridges. Cold, like metal, with strange flat planes. Irregularly shaped. The weight was familiar and comforting. He gripped it closely. When he it jabbed into his chest, he realized what it was.
He began walking forward, tentatively at first, then at a normal pace. He didn't know where he was or where he was going, but he felt like doing something. Standing around wasn't going to get him anywhere. If anything, he reasoned, perhaps he had stayed too long in the clearing and night had fallen without his knowing it. He should get back to the shrine. but that did not account for the object in his hands.
Yuugi had not been walking for long before he bumped into something. Stretching out a hand, he felt it was rough and large. A wall. Frustrated and annoyed, he rubbed a bruise as he wished for lights. Suddenly, to his surprise, dim lighting flickered into place. He could see that he was in the middle of some sort of maze, fenced in by walls made of sand-coloured limestone. Okay, so much for his theory that he was lost in the woods on the outskirts of Nara. Odd, he had seen this place before but the knowledge eluded him, playing on the edge of his brain. Trying to remember, he walked in a random direction and yelped in surprise as a giant axe swung down at him seemingly from nowhere. Quick reflexes made him drop and roll to the side. The axe imbedded itself into a wall, chipping off small pieces of stone. He lay there, trying to force his pounding heart to relax and tasting the fear in his dry mouth. Where and what was this place? He had never felt more alone.
Forcing himself onto his feet, he warily crept across a corridor, testing each foot before walking forward. His caution was rewarded when several non-descript niches in the right wall suddenly fired a dozen arrows, missing him by an inch. He shook with relief and continued, hoping fervently to stumble out of the maze alive. After roughly half an hour, each minute stretched out by Yuugi's taut nerves, and setting thirty traps, two of which managed to do some rather painful damage, the youth was exhausted. He stumbled turning left, then caught himself just in time and surveyed his surroundings. He was in a large arena. The walls were a continuous mass of stone; a dead end. Yuugi turned to leave then jerked in surprise. The opening that he had just come through had disappeared, replaced by the taunting stone blocks. Frantically, he searched for an opening, but found none. He ran his hands over the entire expanse of the walls, hoping to find some hidden exit but the bricks remained unyielding.
Yuugi sat leaning on a wall. There was no way out. He was trapped in this room. There was no hope of rescue. Perhaps. perhaps he would die in here, in this vast empty room, and nothing would be left except a grotesque skeleton clutching a golden pyramid like some failed thief. He clutched the once magical millennium item to his chest, wishing for a strong hand and a deep comforting voice. Perhaps, it was better if he did meet death. He was tired of life; its colors were faded and its light was dim. He knew that a vast portion of himself had died already. He felt the emptiness inside. Ever since. since he left - he couldn't even bring himself to think the name, it was too painful. His other half was gone and it was only a matter of time now that his own half would follow. Then he would be reunited with his other.
But I'm not ready to die yet, a small voice whispered. Yuugi felt a hand brush away some of the tears on his face. Startled, half in shock and half in some delusional hope, he looked up.
"I'm not ready to die yet, and neither are you." The clear purple eyes looked into his own blood-shot ones. Yuugi was rooted to the spot, so hypnotized by those wide purple eyes that were so familiar that he almost didn't feel a gentle tug pulling the millennium puzzle out of his hands.
"No, I need that." he protested feebly. But he made no attempt to take it back. The weight, it was gone.
"You don't need this anymore." With that, the puzzle vanished. Yuugi's throat constricted. This piece of his past- his wish, his first friend, his other half, crimson eyes, deep voice, that cocky grin, the magical presence. Images raced through his mind as the memories he had struggled to forget flooded through him. He squeezed his eyes shut, yet they still came. It was too much, too painful. He cried, letting his grief flow and flow.
Yuugi felt emptied and more tired than he had ever felt before, but he also felt strangely light. For the first time in many months, he felt calm and peaceful. Wiping away the last of his tears, he turned slightly puffy eyes to look at the patient purple ones.
"I. It's been a long time."
"I know." Yuugi paused, unsure of how to continue.
"Why are you here? Why am I here?"
"You felt the emptiness within yourself. Half a person cannot live. We're two halves. Light and dark cannot exist without each other. I am your light, as you are my dark." Yuugi nodded.
"What about.?" The other smiled.
"The past. We are the future, but are you ready?" Yuugi thought about the last couple of months, how the dark oppressive storm of his grief had trapped him in darkness and pushed away the light until each day was a waking nightmare. He didn't want that anymore.
"Yes, I'm ready." He reached a hand towards his light. The purple eyes shimmered as a hand reached out to touch his.
"I've missed you." Light returned to the darkness as two became one whole.
~~ ~~ ~~
Yuugi sat up in the dark, aware that it was night. He remained sitting in the clearing for a long while, staring at the dark canvas of the night sky, milky with starlight. The shadows slowly moved as the silver moon hung overhead. The stars patiently journeyed toward the horizon. The world turned about on its axis and the night passed, while the youth sat in the clearing, embraced by the night's darkness.
He still felt pain. The grief and sorrow had been deep. They were knives that had cut him and though the wounds were closed now, the scars would always remain. But he could finally face it. Yami was gone. There was nothing he could do to change that. Yuugi exhaled gently, warm breath blowing over his cold hands. And smiled.
He had spent months trying to accept his loss, turning the logical arguments over and over in his mind. But no matter how many times he had repeated them, they never had the conviction that made him believe. He had given up and fell into denial. Denial was a deep dark emptiness that one teeters at the edge of, not knowing that they have fallen in until they are rescued, if ever. That's what he had felt; like he was falling into darkness. Yet, it had been comforting in a strange way. He had embraced the enveloping darkness, unconsciously substituting it for what he had lost. Yami had been the dark part of his soul, he realized now, and being wholly light, he had needed balance after Yami had left. So, he had welcomed the night. But instead, it had consumed him.
The memory of the feelings wreathed around his heart in a smoky haze. Depression, loathing, self-pity; they had swirled around him, sucking him deeper into their gloomy depths. Yuugi shuddered, but forced himself to continue. He had lost himself and instead of finding the dark balance to his light, he had become the night. Somewhere in the degenerate path of self-destruction, he had ceased to be light. An ironic smile played on his lips.
He had come to the temple in search for closure and in an attempt to regain the dark half of his soul he had lost, for a person cannot exist with only half a soul. He had expected to find darkness. But he had been mistaken. The smile remained, though it had lost its tired jaded quality. Instead, it was glad. Its happiness was tempered by sorrow, the innocence mixed with experience. But it was a beautiful smile that made its owner's violet eyes bright. Perhaps they were bright with tears, but the clearing is too dark to tell. The clear silence of the just breaking dawn is interrupted by a small chuckle of laughter. It grows and swells to laughter, waves of sound rising out of the clearing to greet the golden light of morning. In the light, it can be seen that there are tears in the boy's eyes, though his laughter is as bright as the sun's rays. But then, sadness cannot exist without joy, as darkness cannot exist without light. And so, passed the night into day.
In Memory
The gentle spring day outside was a crystal blue. Leaves of bright emerald unfolded from the trees awakening from winter sleep. Nature had touched the cold barren cement of Domino City and left unfurling vegetation, tender green shoots springing from the rich dark earth and shy buds that would bloom into Japan's most beloved blossom, the sakura.
All this was reflected in a pair of large purple eyes, which were currently droopy from boredom. Under the bored eyelids, the purple eyes were glazed over in pensive meditation. Yuugi Motou was staring outside the window, wishing the clock would tick faster so school would be dismissed.
"Mr. Motou? I don't suppose you could provide us with the answer as to why the Battle of the Somme was called a bloodbath, hm?"
"The Battle of the Somme is often labelled the bloodiest battle of the Great War or the First World War (1914-1918) because casualties totalled more than 50 000. As was most battles fought during this war, the battle of the Somme was a battle of attrition, when both sides threw massive numbers of soldiers at the opponent in hopes of winning by sheer force of numbers, contributing to the highest casualty rates of any wars during the 20th century, including the casualty statistics for the Korean and Cold War combined." Yuugi rattle off the history as if he were reading from a textbook, his mind far away from the confines of the history classroom. He continued to look out the window.
The teacher stood baffled behind his lectern staring at the student. Shaking his head, he continued to survey the room with a hawk's eye. Most students shrank into their seats, not wanting to get called on.
Class was finally dismissed and, with a collective sigh of relief, the students began to gather their belongings. The room filled with noisy and excited chatter as friends discussed their plans for the spring break. The short violet-eyed youth also began to pack his school things, waiting for the classroom to empty before he walked slowly into the hall. Merging into the flow of the student bodies in the hallway, he let himself be swept away, manoeuvring slightly to get back to his locker. Three other youths were gathered there.
"Hey Yuugi," they collectively greeted him. He made an effort to smile then proceeded to open his locker.
"Thank Kami-sama school is out for a week! I don't think I woulda survived being stuck in this hellhole for another hour, never mind five days." Joey leaned against the lockers.
"I think we're all glad for a break," agreed Anzu.
"Tristan snorted. "If you mean I-would-give-my-right-arm-and-leg-for-a- break glad, I'm a hundred percent behind you. Joey's right, there's only so much of school that you can take."
"Hey Yuug, aren't you glad to be outta jail?"
"Mmhmm, Jou-kun."
Jou raised his eyebrow slightly at his friend's lack of enthusiasm. Usually Yuugi was sparkling with enthusiasm but not today. The blond mentally shrugged. Probably just tired, considering he just had history class. Man, that devil-of-a-teacher could be such an-. "So, you guys have any plans for the week?" Yuugi asked, trying to make conversation.
"Yeah." A broad grin spread over Jou's features. "Mai 'n I are going out tomorrow night, then I'm gonna go visit my mom and Shizuka. It'd be nice to get rid of pops for the week. Oh, by the way Yuug, I was talkin' to Shizuka a coupla days ago and she sends her thanks."
Yuugi smiled. "Anyone would've done the same thing if they were in my position. She's lucky to have a brother like you, Jou." Unused to the praise, Jou flushed slightly.
"So, uhh. that rest of you doing anything the next week?"
Anzu nodded. "I'm using the week to rehearse my new dance. The performance is coming up in about a month and I'm nowhere near ready."
"You'll be fine Anzu. We'll come to cheer you on."
"Thanks, Yuugi." The brunette smiled warmly at her childhood friend, not quite noticing the faraway look in his purple eyes as he smiled back.
"I'm going camping with my parents out of town. Hey Yuug, didn't you say that your grandpa's away visiting a friend? You can come with us if you like. My parents would be happy to have you around." He snickered. "And what I say about outhouses are only half true." Jou opened his mouth to make a comment on facilities that were basically holes in the ground, but thought better of it. Yuugi needed to get out. He had been holed up in the Game Shop for too long, having to look after the store with his grandpa away. Maybe it was the added responsibility of managing the business full- time with the addition of school, but Yuugi had been listless lately, uncharacteristically silent when the group of friends were hanging out. He had taken to wearing more black, like the leather pants and black sleeveless shirt he had on today, offset by heeled black boots. The most unusual change about the slim teenager was his pensive eyes. They were a stormy purple colour, unlike the bright violet that they usually were
A short pause. "Thanks for the offer Tristan but I'm. busy the next week too. I'm. going out of town too."
"Oh? Where to, Yuugi?" Anzu questioned.
"To remember." Yuugi hefted his backpack, closed his locker and waved good- bye to his friends, whose faces reflected puzzlement over the youth's enigmatic answer. They watched him melt into the crowded hallway, gravity- defying hair just visible above the heads of the general student body.
"Something's wrong."
~~ ~~ ~~
Yuugi walked in silence, eyes downcast and seemingly burdened by his backpack. The brilliance of spring greenery bloomed around him, making him look like a dark shadow among the vivid green hues. He was turning around a corner, when a tall form stepped in front of him.
"Yuugi Motou." The youth looked up at the voice and was met with a pair of icy blue eyes.
"Seto," he acknowledged the taller boy in the same formal manner.
"If you are free tonight, it would be a pleasure to challenge you to a duel. I haven't duelled a worthy opponent in quite some time. Mokuba has also been asking about you. I'm sure he would be pleased if you spent the evening at our mansion." The Kaiba spoke with courtesy but couldn't quite mask the authoritative business-like tone he was so accustomed to.
"I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint. I'm. going out of town tonight."
"Oh."
"Say hi to Mokuba for me. Maybe we can duel some other time, Seto. Good- bye." With that, Yuugi walked past the teenage CEO. Icy blue eyes followed the retreating figure. They narrowed as Kaiba analyzed their brief conversation. Yuugi had never refused to duel before. Deciding it wasn't his problem, only his disappointment, the tall duelist walked off towards the nearby elementary school where his brother was waiting for him.
~~ ~~ ~~
The Turtle Game Shop in Domino City lay still and quiet, a "closed" sign hanging in the doorway. Without a single occupant, the store looked small and forlorn, tucked in the shadows of the calm spring night. A solitary figure, shoulders hunched and hands jammed in the pockets of his jeans, walked up to the store and pressed against the glass of the display. He was soon joined by two other figures, both of which approached the Game Shop to vainly search for its owner.
"Guess you guys were worried about him too." Anzu's voice trailed off.
"He's been pretty distant lately. Definitely not himself," speculated Honda.
"Well, I see this is where I join the club." A dry voice made the trio turn around. Jou started slightly at seeing the brown-haired genius. It wasn't like Kaiba to actually care about anyone outside his narrow circle of friends and family; namely Mokuba. Yet, under the rasp of sarcasm, there was a note of concern, out of place in the normally cool commanding tone.
"What are you doing here, Kaiba?"
"Same reason the three of you are here. Yuugi's gone. I phoned the Game Shop an hour ago and the voice machine picked up. Message said it'll be closed for the week." Silence descended on the group.
"We've gotta find him, ask him what's wrong." Jou hated being helpless when his friends were in pain. Yuugi had once asked him a riddle, and he had replied with an answer that he had taken to heart and never forgotten. He set his jaw in determination, though some part of him wondered where in the whole of Japan they could find him. The rational one of the group, Kaiba echoed this sentiment.
"We don't have any idea where he could have gone. It would be a fruitless search"
"There's gotta be something we can do." Surprisingly, it was a soft British accent that put the discussion to rest.
"There's nothing to be done in looking for him, Jou, although I understand that you feel as if you need to do something to help. The best thing to do is to just give him space. He will come back on his own." Ryou quietly joined the group huddled in front of the Game Shop.
"Ryou, do you know where he is?" Anzu inquired.
"To remember."
~~ ~~ ~~
The train rattled in a soothing clatter away from Domino City. Yuugi sat on a narrow fold-out chair by the window, looking at the night-shrouded scenery pass by. The buildings and apartments of urban life had been abandoned long before, replaced by rows square fields drifting away into the distance, interspersed by simple farming communities. The countryside was soothing, as was the rattle of the train speeding towards his destination. It calmed the youth's nerves to be far away from Domino, from his friends. Vaguely, he wondered if they had noticed his odd behaviour of late, then shrugged it off. He would apologize to them when he got back; after all, they were busy with their own activities. Surely they wouldn't miss him. He didn't want them to worry or suspect anything was amiss. Considerate as he usually was, Yuugi reflected that this time, his concern for his friends' feelings were entirely selfish. He didn't want their persistent inquiries into his moodiness. With a slight flash of annoyance, he thought that he had every right as they to be sad, unhappy, depressed. Even the calmest summer day could darken and boil into a hurricane.though to be fair it wasn't like him at all to erupt into a storm of moodiness. Not like him. like whom then? So what if he wasn't his light cheery self and more like. Yuugi swallowed the small lump in his throat. Damn these train compartments and their colonies of ancient dust bunnies.
Abruptly, the teenager got up, stretching his tall lean frame. Quickly and quietly, he moved down the length of the train to the eating coach, where he drank a glass of water. Returning to his assigned car, violet eyes turned briefly towards the cramped sleeping cabin, where three bunk beds were stacked on top of each other, two rows on each side of the room. The compartment held only two people and two small suitcases plus his bag on the topmost bunk to the right, better than most days when passengers literally slept stacked on top of each other. Careful not to make any noise, the tri-colour haired boy perched on the edge of the lowermost bunk with cat-like grace and retrieved his duffel bag. It was light, containing only a few necessities. Clutching it loosely to his chest, Yuugi took his seat again by the window to watch the night roll by.
The train cut through the night like a knife steadily gliding through cream. The sun rose, highlighting the countryside with the glow of a fresh spring morning. Its golden rays found their way into the train's compartment, where they lighted upon a figure sleeping by the window. The boy stirred and hugged the bag he held in his hands closer to him, finding comfort in its proximity.
"Konnichiwa, passengers." Bleary violet eyes opened then winced at the sunlight. "We will be arriving in Nara in an hour. Please be ready with all your belongings fifteen minutes before your arrival for a quick departure. In the meantime, enjoy your complimentary breakfast in the dining coach. Waitresses will also be coming around with coffee, tea, and breakfast boxes. Thank you for choosing Todaji Express. We hope your stay with us was pleasant and that you enjoy your stay in Nara."
Awakened by the announcement, passengers were beginning to bustle through their morning routines. Yuugi watched them briefly, then rose from his seat and stretched muscles that were sore from sleeping in such an awkward position. A waitress pushing a tray full of food accidentally bumped into him, causing him to drop his duffel bag. Yuugi glared at her as she hastily picked it up, muttering apologies. The waitress hurried down the hall to get away from the angry red-purple eyes. Yuugi sighed. Was nothing sacred anymore? He hefted the bag, placing an arm around it protectively despite the fact that it jabbed into his arms, and sauntered off to the dining room in search of coffee.
He had just set the empty and still-warm mug down on the table when he felt the train roll smoothly to a halt. Taking his place in a line-up of people, the tall youth waited patiently to get off the train. Bags of luggage jostled into him, followed by soft murmurs of apology. He made no move to move into a less crowded place, only cradling his duffel bag more cautiously. Finally, the passengers spilled out onto the train platform. Since it was early morning, the train station was relatively quiet, save for the small influxes of people boarding and departing from the trains. Yuugi followed the general dispersion of people, heading towards the exit. Ticket in hand, he moved efficiently past the necessary procedures and pushed through a turnstile to leave the station.
The black-clad boy ambled almost aimlessly down the sidewalk, stopping occasionally to examine the price listings of car and bike rentals posted on the shop display-fronts that lined the street. Deciding they were all too expensive, he opted to consult a bus stop schedule. There was a bus leaving for the Nara Satomiya Shrine every ten minutes after nine o'clock. Yuugi checked his watch; eight forty-five. So, he leaned against the railings to wait. The bus arrived early and picked up several passengers, most of whom were carrying large bags full of offerings or saimotsu for the various kamis or deities of the shrine. Taking a seat near the back, Yuugi suddenly felt embarrassed. Thinking that it would be a quick and light trip, he had packed in less than ten minutes, wanting to get away from Domino as early as possible. He had not brought offerings for the shrine, not did he have the money to spare for donation. Unaware of the slight blush that softened his cheeks, Yuugi spent the rest of the bus ride pondering over his dilemma, his mind simmering with anxiety.
The bus quickly made its way through the quiet suburbs of Nara. Leaving the residential areas behind, it began to travel uphill. Houses and buildings gave way to forest, the youthful spring green shading the bus from the increasing heat of the late morning sun. The trees stretched their branches towards the sky, upraising their arms so that their leaves created an emerald canopy through which flecks of sunlight escaped through to dapple the road below. Every once so often, a small hokora shrine decorated the side of the road, surrounded by a semi-circle of offerings such as fresh flowers and fruits with an occasional plate of rice balls arranged immaculately.
After an hour's travel, the woods opened to a clearing containing several buildings. The structures were arranged around a central courtyard, an open space paved with white stones interspersed with several sakura trees in mid-bloom, with a prayer space in the middle. A torrii gateway served as an entrance, flanked by stone statues of two canine guardians, shishi- koma-inu. The bus stopped, unloading its passengers. Yuugi waited until the crowd had thinned, then made his way towards the torrii, slightly apprehensive. As he stepped through the gateway, he was surprised to feel a wave of peace wash through him. Stepping through the torrii was like stepping into another world, one disconnected from the worries and burdens of reality. He closed his eyes briefly, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from him. The amethyst eyes opened again, reflecting the morning sun in a strangely clear way. With a lighter step, Yuugi walked to the plain administrative building. An old priest was there, talking to two younger apprentices that he sent out on an errand. The purple-robed elder's deep mahogany eyes fell on his visitor.
"Konnichiwa, Guji-sama." Yuugi bowed.
"Konnichiwa-"
"Yuugi."
"Yuugi. Is there something you need?"
Yuugi hesitated slightly. "Yes, I have a request."
"Speak."
"I would like to request a Sôsai ceremony."
"Such ceremonies are usually not performed at shrines." Yuugi hesitated slightly. The priest's tone of voice was plainly honest. He noticed also that he had not been outright rejected.
"Yes, I realize that, but I would like to pay respect to a mikoto. He did not have a proper ceremony honouring his.death and I feel as if I owe this to him." The piercing mahogany eyes searched the violet ones, with vision as bright and sharp as an eagle's. It was almost as if Yuugi had laid his soul out for the priest to read. The elder took his times perusing the pages of the soul, making the boy nervous. "Onegai, he was very important to me."
"Before I perform the ceremony, I ask two things in return. The ujiko need help in the maintenance of the shrine. You will help them with whatever tasks they need. In return, you are welcome to stay at the shrine in the caretaker's cottage" Yuugi nodded.
"Secondly, you must perform an o-hyakudo." Puzzlement coloured the younger boy's face. "Now," the priest said, ignoring the visitor's non-verbal question, "the ujiko will familiarize you with the maintenance needs." He pointed towards a smaller building slightly removed from the shrine compound.
"Arigatou, guji-sama." Yuugi bowed and left to find the caretaker.
~~ ~~ ~~
Yuugi blew the golden bangs out of his tired purple eyes and continued to meticulously scrub the floor. He could almost see his reflection on the wet wood. The wooden floor was smooth and well worn by the feet of many worshippers come to pay respect to the kami. Their unhurried feet had softened the natural grooves of the wood until they were nonexistent, the planks as even as the quiet that hung over the temple. The uniformity of the planks soothed the boy in an odd fashion. The cloth he was using to clean the floor slid back and forth in an even rhythm. He enjoyed the calm, relishing in the warm fatigue in his muscles, the way a general weariness wrapped around his brain, the slow bleaching of the colour of the floor as it slowly dried. He was glad that he was too tired to think, to feel anything other than the skin of his fingertips get wrinkly. The cloth continued its journey back ad forth over the wood, making occasional stops at a bucket of water. Then back to the mesmerising rhythm of back and forth on the mahogany mirror.
A whisper of movement interrupted the methodical swish of the cloth.
"Here, change into this." The priest pressed a clean change of clothing into the youth's hands and walked out. Clad in simple white robes, Yuugi stepped out into the sun-lit compound, where he found the old monk waiting for him. The priest's brown eyes caught his and he turned, heading towards the woods on the edge of the cluster of buildings. Yuugi jogged until he had almost caught up to the older man, then fell in step with his stride behind him. Briefly, he wondered where they were going. The smell of earth filled the air. Few people worshipping at the shrine ventured into the wood, only for brief strolls before returning to the city, and all ceremonies took place in the haiden. The wind breathed between the blossoms of the sakura-laden trees. The two men continued in silence a good way into the wood, walking in tandem.
A faint noise raised its voice over the thrum of the forest. It grew louder until Yuugi identified it as running water. The priest slipped over several large boulders easily and disappeared. Yuugi followed over the mossy rocks, nearly tripping in the process.
"Remove your shoes." The priest was standing barefoot in the small stream with his trousers rolled up. The boy followed suite, laying his shoes on the bank. The water was icy cold, producing a shiver which the boy tried to suppress. The older man dipped his hands in the water, washing his face. The youth watched, fascinated, conscious of the freezing waters that swirled around his ankles. The priest stopped, cocking his head to look at the boy. The youth bent over stiffly and washed. He felt the cold pierce his warm cocoon of fatigue, jolting his brain. The cold stayed on his skin a long time, as if it had nestled into his muscles and refused to let go. But he felt clean, as he continued trudging deeper into the wood behind the priest.
They reached a clearing. Small tufts of grass grew on the dirt field between a large stone and an enormous tree, both layered with age. The priest approached the stone and bowed before it. He turned his sharp mahogany eyes on the youth.
"You will be performing the hyakudomairi, the hundred pilgrimages here. You will walk from the shrine," he pointed at the rock, "to the tree and back a hundred times, each time performing a bow." He turned. "Take as long as you need." And with that, the priest disappeared into the wood, leaving the boy unsure of what to do.
A sigh later, the white-clad youth bowed before the rock, feeling slightly ridiculous. Walk to the tree, touch its rough brown bark and marvel at its gigantic height. He saw strings of paper offerings encircling some of the branches, which shuddered at a sudden gust of strong wind. He turned back to the rock, walking to it and bowing. One. Only Ninety-nine more to go. Soon, he fell into a rhythm. Walk, stop before the tree, turn around, walk, bow before the stone, turn. Like everything else associated with the shrine, the activity followed rhythms and cycles that made life repetitive and freed the mind to think and the soul to wander. The world faded to only the tree, the rock and the thin line of grass that separated the two. Soon, even these mundane and trivial objects of physical reality faded.
When Yuugi raised his eyes from the ground, he was staring into darkness. Puzzled, he stopped. The clearing was gone, everything swallowed by an inky night. Deprived of sight, he extended his other senses. His feet were still grounded on something solid, his body was standing in a vertical position, his hand. there was something in his hand. Out of instinct, he held it in front of his face, only to realize that he could not see. He ran his hands over the object. Smooth, with regular ridges. Cold, like metal, with strange flat planes. Irregularly shaped. The weight was familiar and comforting. He gripped it closely. When he it jabbed into his chest, he realized what it was.
He began walking forward, tentatively at first, then at a normal pace. He didn't know where he was or where he was going, but he felt like doing something. Standing around wasn't going to get him anywhere. If anything, he reasoned, perhaps he had stayed too long in the clearing and night had fallen without his knowing it. He should get back to the shrine. but that did not account for the object in his hands.
Yuugi had not been walking for long before he bumped into something. Stretching out a hand, he felt it was rough and large. A wall. Frustrated and annoyed, he rubbed a bruise as he wished for lights. Suddenly, to his surprise, dim lighting flickered into place. He could see that he was in the middle of some sort of maze, fenced in by walls made of sand-coloured limestone. Okay, so much for his theory that he was lost in the woods on the outskirts of Nara. Odd, he had seen this place before but the knowledge eluded him, playing on the edge of his brain. Trying to remember, he walked in a random direction and yelped in surprise as a giant axe swung down at him seemingly from nowhere. Quick reflexes made him drop and roll to the side. The axe imbedded itself into a wall, chipping off small pieces of stone. He lay there, trying to force his pounding heart to relax and tasting the fear in his dry mouth. Where and what was this place? He had never felt more alone.
Forcing himself onto his feet, he warily crept across a corridor, testing each foot before walking forward. His caution was rewarded when several non-descript niches in the right wall suddenly fired a dozen arrows, missing him by an inch. He shook with relief and continued, hoping fervently to stumble out of the maze alive. After roughly half an hour, each minute stretched out by Yuugi's taut nerves, and setting thirty traps, two of which managed to do some rather painful damage, the youth was exhausted. He stumbled turning left, then caught himself just in time and surveyed his surroundings. He was in a large arena. The walls were a continuous mass of stone; a dead end. Yuugi turned to leave then jerked in surprise. The opening that he had just come through had disappeared, replaced by the taunting stone blocks. Frantically, he searched for an opening, but found none. He ran his hands over the entire expanse of the walls, hoping to find some hidden exit but the bricks remained unyielding.
Yuugi sat leaning on a wall. There was no way out. He was trapped in this room. There was no hope of rescue. Perhaps. perhaps he would die in here, in this vast empty room, and nothing would be left except a grotesque skeleton clutching a golden pyramid like some failed thief. He clutched the once magical millennium item to his chest, wishing for a strong hand and a deep comforting voice. Perhaps, it was better if he did meet death. He was tired of life; its colors were faded and its light was dim. He knew that a vast portion of himself had died already. He felt the emptiness inside. Ever since. since he left - he couldn't even bring himself to think the name, it was too painful. His other half was gone and it was only a matter of time now that his own half would follow. Then he would be reunited with his other.
But I'm not ready to die yet, a small voice whispered. Yuugi felt a hand brush away some of the tears on his face. Startled, half in shock and half in some delusional hope, he looked up.
"I'm not ready to die yet, and neither are you." The clear purple eyes looked into his own blood-shot ones. Yuugi was rooted to the spot, so hypnotized by those wide purple eyes that were so familiar that he almost didn't feel a gentle tug pulling the millennium puzzle out of his hands.
"No, I need that." he protested feebly. But he made no attempt to take it back. The weight, it was gone.
"You don't need this anymore." With that, the puzzle vanished. Yuugi's throat constricted. This piece of his past- his wish, his first friend, his other half, crimson eyes, deep voice, that cocky grin, the magical presence. Images raced through his mind as the memories he had struggled to forget flooded through him. He squeezed his eyes shut, yet they still came. It was too much, too painful. He cried, letting his grief flow and flow.
Yuugi felt emptied and more tired than he had ever felt before, but he also felt strangely light. For the first time in many months, he felt calm and peaceful. Wiping away the last of his tears, he turned slightly puffy eyes to look at the patient purple ones.
"I. It's been a long time."
"I know." Yuugi paused, unsure of how to continue.
"Why are you here? Why am I here?"
"You felt the emptiness within yourself. Half a person cannot live. We're two halves. Light and dark cannot exist without each other. I am your light, as you are my dark." Yuugi nodded.
"What about.?" The other smiled.
"The past. We are the future, but are you ready?" Yuugi thought about the last couple of months, how the dark oppressive storm of his grief had trapped him in darkness and pushed away the light until each day was a waking nightmare. He didn't want that anymore.
"Yes, I'm ready." He reached a hand towards his light. The purple eyes shimmered as a hand reached out to touch his.
"I've missed you." Light returned to the darkness as two became one whole.
~~ ~~ ~~
Yuugi sat up in the dark, aware that it was night. He remained sitting in the clearing for a long while, staring at the dark canvas of the night sky, milky with starlight. The shadows slowly moved as the silver moon hung overhead. The stars patiently journeyed toward the horizon. The world turned about on its axis and the night passed, while the youth sat in the clearing, embraced by the night's darkness.
He still felt pain. The grief and sorrow had been deep. They were knives that had cut him and though the wounds were closed now, the scars would always remain. But he could finally face it. Yami was gone. There was nothing he could do to change that. Yuugi exhaled gently, warm breath blowing over his cold hands. And smiled.
He had spent months trying to accept his loss, turning the logical arguments over and over in his mind. But no matter how many times he had repeated them, they never had the conviction that made him believe. He had given up and fell into denial. Denial was a deep dark emptiness that one teeters at the edge of, not knowing that they have fallen in until they are rescued, if ever. That's what he had felt; like he was falling into darkness. Yet, it had been comforting in a strange way. He had embraced the enveloping darkness, unconsciously substituting it for what he had lost. Yami had been the dark part of his soul, he realized now, and being wholly light, he had needed balance after Yami had left. So, he had welcomed the night. But instead, it had consumed him.
The memory of the feelings wreathed around his heart in a smoky haze. Depression, loathing, self-pity; they had swirled around him, sucking him deeper into their gloomy depths. Yuugi shuddered, but forced himself to continue. He had lost himself and instead of finding the dark balance to his light, he had become the night. Somewhere in the degenerate path of self-destruction, he had ceased to be light. An ironic smile played on his lips.
He had come to the temple in search for closure and in an attempt to regain the dark half of his soul he had lost, for a person cannot exist with only half a soul. He had expected to find darkness. But he had been mistaken. The smile remained, though it had lost its tired jaded quality. Instead, it was glad. Its happiness was tempered by sorrow, the innocence mixed with experience. But it was a beautiful smile that made its owner's violet eyes bright. Perhaps they were bright with tears, but the clearing is too dark to tell. The clear silence of the just breaking dawn is interrupted by a small chuckle of laughter. It grows and swells to laughter, waves of sound rising out of the clearing to greet the golden light of morning. In the light, it can be seen that there are tears in the boy's eyes, though his laughter is as bright as the sun's rays. But then, sadness cannot exist without joy, as darkness cannot exist without light. And so, passed the night into day.