AN: Hello, everyone! I don't think this story needs much explaining, but I'll throw in a short description anyways. Everyone in this fic is HUMANIZED. Lots of gore and blood. This is Fliqpy we're talking about! There's also a truck-ton of swearing, because again...Fliqpy. There is suggestive material, but nothing explicit (and that is ALL Flippy). Humanized Flippy x Flaky, with a lot of drama due to Fliqpy screwing things up. And GORE. SO MUCH GORE. In the weirdest ways, too, so if you're squeamish at detailed descriptions of death, this fanfic may not be right for you.

Enjoy!

Fliqpy.

What a bastard. He was the polar opposite of Flippy-so different, and yet...so similar. God, that didn't even begin to make sense.

Well, maybe it did. Flippy was courteous, kind, and generous, the sort of man that could always be relied on. He kept his language in check, and was never coarse or crass. And he was pretty damn good looking (though he would never admit it, it went against his policies). It was no wonder so many girls fell for him.

He didn't return their affections.

At least, he didn't-for most girls. There was one exception, though, which was odd considering how strongly he held to his beliefs. She was nothing special, the tomboyish red-haired girl who loved to play baseball and…had an irrational fear of chicks?

Ah, whatever. He'd seen far worse.

It was a mystery why he felt so drawn towards her. She was known throughout the town as "the girl with undiscovered potential", "the girl who needs to get out more often", and alternatively, "Flaky-the-girl-who-would-be-pretty-if-she-put-down-that-goddamn-baseball-bat-and-did-something-useful-goddammit".

Flippy had thought about this quite often, and had come to the one and only logical conclusion. It was because she wasn't like most girls that compelled him. Petunia and Giggles loved makeovers, Flaky preferred the outfield. Petunia and Giggles went shoe shopping, Flaky stayed on the outfield. Petunia and Giggles flirted with their many doting boyfriends, Flaky…well, you can guess where she was, can't you?

He liked her. A lot. Actually, to be honest, only one side of him did, and he was lucky it was his more dominant side. God knows what would've happened if Fliqpy was the one *usually* in control. He could practically see the headlines-"BREAKING NEWS! NO SURVIVORS LEFT IN HAPPYTOWN! MURDERS COMMITTED BY SOLE CULPRIT, HEADING THIS WAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH HH;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"

Which reminded him.

"Hey, you in there?" he asked himself tentatively, praying he was in a good mood. As usual, he was quick to respond…mentally.

Why the fuck did you wake me up?

Oh god, he was most definitely not in a good mood. Flippy could already picture him in his head, with that mocking, fanged grin that never left his face and his bright yellow irises, cradling his cherished bowie knife. Fliqpy. Fliqpy, the cold-blooded, cold-hearted bastard. The cruel killer with no conscience and no morals; this invulnerable, sadistic being who loved no one; who relished in causing death, pain, destruction, and derived pleasure from it. The one who had taken more lives than could be counted. And ironically, also the one who saved his 'good' counterpart's life.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Flippy said aloud. "We need to talk."

You already are, he hissed. As of right now, that grin, psychotic as it might be, was not in his voice.

"I'm kind of going somewhere today. With friends. So I need you to kind of…you know. Stay under wraps."

There was an incredulous pause, but it was brief. Really. And what's in it for me?

Flippy shrugged. "Flaky?"

A low and disapproving rumble on the other end. Flaky? That pincushion of a bitch?

"SHUT IT!"

Back the fuck off, Flippers, don't get your panties in a bunch. Just one question.

Wary, Flippy asked, "What is it?"

Let's assume I don't make an appearance at wherever it is you're going. Alright? Everything's as normal as you and your weird-ass friends can manage, and you're having what you pathetically consider a good time. And now, say that Flakers bitch shows up and you start talking to her. Like the idiot you are, you somehow manage to fuck things up. She leaves.

Would you suffer?

"Um. Yes." After a moment's pause, he added, "Probably a lot. But don't get any ideas."

A harsh laugh. Maybe I'll stay out of the way, then. You know. Just for today.

Flippy almost sighed with relief, but caught himself. Fliqpy never, ever allowed an opportunity to kill just pass. There had to be some catch behind this; since when was he genuine about anything-

There was a chiding tsk in his head. Sometimes I can be nice. I just don't feel like it. You wouldn't either if you were stuck in the mind of the saddest excuse for a person.

"Ah, shut it."

Where are you going again?

Flippy fidgeted uncomfortably with his army jacket's buttons. "Um, somewhere normal. You know, just to a restaurant."

You cruel, cruel motherfucker.