Author's Note: The wonderful Dragon Age characters and elements involved in this story belong to Bioware.

Updated 9.25.2012 and beta'd by the wonderful Eve Hawke

Life is not fair. Sometimes dreams do not come true.

Sometimes you're not the hero in the story of your life,

and sometimes - people die before they're supposed to.

Life is not fair; but fair has nothing to do with who you are inside,

what you dream about, who you love, and what you stand for.

Life cannot touch that... war cannot touch that.

~ LXD "Robot Lovestory"

Chapter 1

Aideen stirred as the faint streaks of dawn crept through her bedroom window. A sigh of frustration escaped her lips. She'd been dreading this day for weeks, and now it was officially upon her.

Tossing the covers back, she climbed out of bed and shivered as her bare feet hit the cold stone floor. Grabbing the robe draped over her chair, she donned it over her nightdress, her mind already racing as she planned her escape. She was desperate to garner just a few more hours of freedom before succumbing to the formalities of the day – formalities that threatened to smother her very soul.

Today was the Battlefeast in honor of her father and brother as they prepared to ride south in service of the king against the blight. Banns from Dragon's Peak, Amaranthine City, Oswin, Waking Sea and West Hill would all be in attendance with their sons.

Her father had been particularly pleased to hear that Arl Wulff of West Hills would be bringing his eldest son, Ronan, and she could only assume that Arl Howe... she shuddered – this time not from the cold. Howe's wife had died giving birth to his youngest son, leaving him free to show special interest in Aideen from the moment she'd began developing into womanhood. No, Howe would no doubt be leaving his son at home and making her worst nightmares come true. She could only hope, despite his friendship with Howe, her father would protect her from such a proposal.

Either way, today was the day. She had been on display long enough and it was now time to pick a husband, while her father and brother took up the banner of House Cousland and ran off to war.

Padding silently over to the window, she pulled back the flowing curtains, leaned her forehead on the pane and starred with longing at the Waking Sea. She loved her family and her home, deeply, but today she wanted nothing more than to drift away, take a boat and let it carry her over the sea to someplace far from here.

Life had gotten so complicated! She'd turned eighteen last month and with that, everything had changed. She was daughter to Bryce Cousland, Teyrn of Highever, with both influence and power second only to that of the king himself.

Loghain Mac Tir, father-in-law to Ferelden's monarch and the only other teyrn left in Ferelden today, never one to miss an opportunity, had been quick to secure the marriage of his only daughter Anora with Cailan when they were just children. Expectations were high in the noble realm for advantageous marriages, and now that pressure weighed heavily on Aideen's shoulders.

She had blossomed into a beauty, which to her was more of a curse than a blessing; it quickly became known throughout Ferelden and only encouraged the land's arls and banns as they clamored to get an audience for their sons.

Ugh! Marriage… to some spoiled, pompous ass with soft hands, accustomed to the high life – could there be a worse fate?

Few understood her feelings of turmoil over the matter. After all, she was daughter to one of the most powerful nobles in Ferelden! Growing up in Castle Highever, she was well accustomed to the high life herself and should be used to such expectations. However, those who knew her best understood that in her heart, she wanted none of these things.

The closer she got to the age of eighteen, the more aware she became that this day was coming. For the last four years she had accompanied her family to the yearly Landsmeet, and though it was initially exciting to experience new places and people, she soon realized that banns and arls alike brought their children of proper age to the Landsmeet in hopes of arranging a marriage. The older she got, the more it felt like she was being paraded for noble sons to gawk at.

A single tear slid down Aideen's cheek and plopped on the stone ledge below her window. No matter how hard she tried, she could not imagine adjusting to this new life before her. She was far better suited to be riding off to war beside her father and brother than planning a wedding to some dim-wit who wouldn't know the pointy end of a dagger if he sat on it. How could she ever learn to like one of these noble snobs after spending so much time with...well…men?

No, she needed someone like her father. Someone strong, disciplined, and well-trained in combat. She had grown up that way; how could her parents honestly expect her to adjust to a life where all that was required of her was to run a household and provide children?

Unlike the arls and banns of the land, teyrns were war leaders, and though Loghain held the title of famed Ferelden war hero, Bryce Cousland was no exception. Her father and older brother Fergus trained daily with the castle knights in combat, and even her mother was said to be quite the battle maiden in her day.

Aideen had trained in combat since the tender age of six, and was now considered quite the master herself. She was smart, having relished her tutelage with Brother Aldous and spent many hours in the library poring over the history and legends of the land. As a result, she was strategic and cunning in combat, developing her own unique fighting style against the brute strength of the men. She knew how and when to incapacitate opponents using her keen eye for weak spots, and despite her lack of male muscular strength, she was deadly with a pair of daggers.

Having to fight in closer proximity with shortened blades, she'd become extremely acrobatic in her approach. She utilized a variety of jumps, kicks, and climbing on whatever she had to in order to get the drop on her target. None had quite been able to best her fighting style yet, and it pleased her to know that she shocked people when they saw her sparring for the first time. If she had it her way, beauty wouldn't be the only thing she was known for!

Yes, she needed a man who could challenge her, protect her, and most of all... keep up with her.

When she complained about it to her parents, her father burst out laughing, turning to her mother. "She has a point love. Those dolts will not have the faintest clue about what to do with her!"

Mother had leveled him a controlled stare, drawing up to her full five feet and four inches, thumping his chest with a pointed finger. "It's not funny Bryce! You're the one responsible for this; training her with the men. We're already asking her to choose a husband based on duty rather than love, you're just further ruined her chances of ever finding happiness in marriage."

Her father's mirth had diminished at her mother's reproof, his fingers reaching out, tenderly stroking the stubborn set of her jaw before migrating down to squeeze her hand. "You don't believe our children will be as happy in their marriages as we are? Fergus has found love in his marriage and Ai –"

"Bryce, honestly, Oriana and I married above our station – we married men! I wish nothing less for our daughter, but you yourself just described Aideen's options as 'dolts', and that matter only worsens when you contribute the fact you've trained her to the point… she only emasculates them further." She'd thrown her hands up in frustration, stomped over to Aideen and pulled her into a motherly embrace. Aideen appreciated her mother's understanding; that the future was going to be hard for her spirited daughter. She also loved the fact she held a special place in her father's heart, despite his man's perspective on matters, but his love did not change a thing. She would not find true love as her parents had or marry the man of her dreams like Oriana.

Aideen heaved a sigh and turned from the window. How she would make it through this day she did not know, but at this early hour she still had some time to herself. She intended to make the most of it.

Dropping the robe, she scurried over to her wardrobe and pulled out her black leather leggings, knee-high black strap boots, a loose cap-sleeved royal blue shirt, and a black leather corset with plating. Tugging the shirt over her head, she slipped into her leggings, tucking the shirt in before strapping on the corset and buckling the front. Perching on the edge of her bed, she tugged her boots on, and strapped her small but precious dragonbone blade to her right thigh.

Standing before the mirror, she swept her long black hair into a loose braid before wrapping the end and tying it off with a matching black leather thong. The sunlight caught in her hair as she turned her head and she smiled, touching the deep red highlights so like the red of her brother's hair.

While Fergus had inherited their father's deep red hue and green eyes, she'd acquired their mother's once rich black locks, which stood out in stark contrast to her fair skin and brilliant blue eyes. Aideen's eyes had come from her Orlesian grandfather, as her mother's eyes were more of a warm brown color.

Her mother would often cup her face with misty eyes and a soft smile on her lips, saying "Your eyes are so beautiful, my dear. You are such a precious reminder of my father."

Aideen smiled at the memory. Yes, she loved her family, and she would do anything for them - even if it meant embracing the miserable future set before her. Her smile faltered as she ran her hands lovingly down the firm, shapely leather of her corset. Perhaps this morning would be the last time she'd ever wear this outfit.

She put on her matching leather gloves and turned for one last inspection in the mirror. Satisfied with her attire, Aideen grabbed a small flat pouch from the hook by her door. Strapping it to her left thigh, she opened her door and disappeared down the hall.

Careful to avoid the guards, Aideen picked her way through the castle, melting from one shadow into the next until she reached the kitchen. Just as she expected, Kane, her mabari hound, was sitting patiently in front of the door with a positively mischievouslook on his face. Waiting for breakfast preparations to begin so he could torture Nan into giving him scraps, no doubt.

Crouching down before the hound, she stroked his massive head while lifting his chin to look him in the eye. "Not today my friend! How would you like to go outside the castle and catch a fat rabbit instead?"

Kane tipped his head in consideration of the proposal, but then turned to her with concern in his eyes and a nervous whine.

"Hmph, I know it's a bad idea. It's never stopped us before…why should today be any different!" Realizing her voice had risen significantly, she glanced around before crouching lower and giving a fierce whisper. "Fine! But I'm going with or without you. Make your choice!"

Kane nuzzled her cheek and placed a protective paw on her knee, as if saying he would never allow her to venture outside the castle walls alone. Mabari were extremely intelligent, but above that, they were loyal. They chose their own masters, and everyone had been shocked when Kane, initially intended as a gift for her brother Fergus, had immediately taken to Aideen instead.

"Good boy." Aideen stood, pulled a mabari crunch from the pouch strapped to her thigh and tossed it to Kane.

Jumping, Kane snatched the treat midair before spinning and disappearing down the hall. Shaking her head, Aideen exhaled an exasperated sigh as she too, disappeared into the shadows.

Ser Gilmore watched a dark figure from his post on the northeast castle wall, a muscle working in his jaw. He couldn't believe his eyes! She was pulling a stunt like this…at a time like…todayof all days!

He watched as Aideen crept out the servant's door next to the stables and dashed to a secret tunnel leading to the wild brush beyond the castle walls. She was wearing her usual stealthy attire of choice for when she wished to disappear or... drive a man completely mad, he thought wryly.
Sighing, Gilmore averted his gaze, knowing she would check for witnesses before making her escape, and he needed the element of surprise if he was going to be successful in his pursuit.

As soon as she was gone, he hurried down to the courtyard, removing his heavy armor as he went. Stopping in the stables, he deposited the armor in an empty corner stall before rounding up a pair of dark leather pants and a loose open-necked shirt. He sheathed his sword at his back in a harness that buckled across his chest, swapping out his shield for a large dagger he could strap to his belt. Finally, he slipped into a pair of light leather boots and headed in the direction he knew she'd gone.