Summary: After Lucas lost his dream, he didn't think there would be anything left to live for. All was lost and nothing was left to gain. However, as he keeps going back to that same person, he might just start to realize life doesn't stop when you lose something. LP. AU after season4. Three-parter.

AN: Hello! Just a short story here, only three parts, and it's completely done already so it won't take me too long to put it all up here. It's AU after season 4, but in here, Lucas didn't find out about the HCM in season 3 and just kept playing basketball during season 3 and 4 and into college.

Thank you a lot for reading, I hope you get to like this, and of course, a review would always be nice :) Thank you!

Oh, and every lyric in the beginning/end of a chapter comes from Maroon 5's Payphone.

I.

I know it's hard to remember, the people we used to be
It's even harder to picture that you're not here next to me

Peyton's phone started ringing, lying on the table, and as she saw who it was she knew she had to take it. She just had to. She had no idea why, because phone calls like this one had done her more bad than good lately, but still, she had to.

"Excuse me, I have to take this. I'll be back in a second." She said politely to the people sitting in front of her. They nodded back politely, even smiling a little, and watched her walk out of her office.

Outside her office, Peyton sighed just a little before answering her phone, "Hello?"

"Peyton? I'm so glad you picked up, I need to talk to you. Things are just… I don't know –"

"You're drunk." She stated, the way his voice slurred more than obvious. She knew him all too well, and he had never been good at hiding things from her. "Why are you calling, Lucas?" Peyton asked desperately, closing her eyes for a split second.

"Like I said, I need to talk to you." He repeated and she couldn't help but notice how tired and well, drunk he sounded.

"Funny how you only need to talk to me when you're drunk. But unlike you, I still think it's necessary to work and I have people waiting for me. I'm sorry, Lucas. Call me when you're sober again." Peyton finished, ready to head back to her office.

"Peyton, wait! Please?" He was almost begging and even though she really had to get back, she had never really been able to say no to him.

"Make it quick."

"I'm sorry, okay? I knew I screwed up and things are seriously messed up, but if there is any way to fix it, you have to let me know. I… I miss you, Peyt."

It took all she had to not tell him she missed him too. Of course she missed him, but she had learned to go on without him and she wouldn't allow him to mess her up even more than he already had. "You can't fix us until you've fixed yourself, Lucas. I have to go now, bye."

She hung up the phone and headed back to her office, trying desperately not to show any heartbreak on her face.

.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, well almost snapped, as he opened the door.

Peyton looked him up and down, surprised by his appearance. He didn't look anything like the man he had been when she had last seen him. He was a mess; unshaven, unwashed probably too, and apparently he had just put on the first piece of clothing he had found in his house.

"Your mom called me." She said after a few moments of silence.

"Well, she shouldn't have." Lucas simply said and walked back into the living room, though he left the front door open for her to come in.

She stepped into the house, which hadn't been cleaned in quite some time either, and she couldn't help but be surprised at how different that once oh-so familiar house felt to her. It used to be a home to her, she would walk in and always feel like home. She didn't now and she supposed he didn't anymore either.

Lucas slumped back into the couch, not caring whether Peyton was still there or not.

"She's worried, you know."

"I'm fine. There's nothing to be worried here." He shrugged.

Peyton let out a humourless laugh, "Fine? You're not fine. You have been sitting in this couch for the past four months, Lucas. You're not taking care of yourself, you're closing yourself off from everyone who cares about you! That is not fine."

"I'm sorry for not being as perfect as you are. Not all of us are gifted with our very own office, you know." He snarled at her, making her take a few steps back, even though she wasn't standing all that close to him to begin with.

She didn't expect this. She knew that when Karen had called her of all people there had to be something seriously wrong. But she hadn't expected this. There was an anger in his eyes that she had never seen there before and it pained her to see him direct that anger at her.

"I wasn't gifted. I worked hard for my position at the label, you know that. But you can't expect to get things without working for them, Luke. Why aren't you trying?"

"Trying?" He scoffed. "Why would I? You said no to my proposal, Peyton, and I thought my world was collapsing around me. But then, I figured, I could overcome that. It'd be hard, but it wouldn't be the end of me. And you know why? Because there were good things in my life. Really good things. And then I found out I have HCM and now my basketball career is over. Now what am I left with? Nothing, right? So don't ask me why I'm not trying." Lucas told her, an edginess in his voice that she wasn't at all used to hearing.

"Don't say that. I know that you're feeling awful, but don't just give up. There are still really good things in your life." Peyton tried talking to him, but instead of letting her words mean something to him, he simply rolled his eyes.

"You don't know how I'm feeling, Peyton. And you know why? Because you weren't there. You said no and when it all came crashing down, when those doctors told me I have HCM and I couldn't play anymore, you weren't there. And I was left to deal with it on my own."

"You're not on your own. You have your mom and Lily, and there's Nathan and Haley and Jamie. Saying you're on your own is insulting them, Lucas."

He got up from his couch and made his way towards the kitchen, "It doesn't matter. I lost basketball and I lost you. I've lost everything I ever wanted." He locked eyes with her for a second before turning away and grabbing a bottle of some sort of liquor. "You should go, Peyton." Lucas said and took a swig of his drink with such an easiness that it made Peyton wonder if he did that all too often.

She didn't say anything anymore though and left the house quietly.

.

"Lucas called today. Again." Peyton sighed as Brooke took a seat next to her. The two best friends were sitting on Peyton's balcony, enjoying their evening after a busy day.

"Really? That boy really needs to learn when to stop, you know. Did you pick up?" Brooke asked, raising an eyebrow at the blonde. She had told Peyton plenty of times that she should just let him be, there wasn't anything she could do anyway, but Peyton refused to just ignore him.

Peyton nodded, "Yeah."

"And?"

"He was drunk."

"Well, that's a surprise." Brooke shrugged.

Peyton shook her head a little, "Don't make it sound as if he's a drunk, Brooke."

Her best friend scoffed, "Come on, P. How many times has he called you now with some drunken ramble? He's either drinking or sleeping these days."

"That's not true. I've been on the phone with Haley yesterday and she said that he's really trying. It's just, you know, hard."

"It's been hard for five months now." Brooke objected. "Look, I care about Lucas too, okay? I don't want this for him either. But you've got to let it go. You flew out there and you tried talking some sense into him and he treated you horribly. He's not your responsibility, Peyton."

She knew Brooke was right, of course. When she had been in Tree Hill a month ago she had tried talking to him, more than once, but all to no avail. He didn't want her there, he had made that more than clear. However, since she had been back in LA, he had been calling her and though he did often sound drunk, he also seemed to regret the things that happened between them. She tried her hardest to not let him get to her, but in all honesty, he would always get to her.

"I know he isn't, but I can't just let it go." Peyton admitted, though she was sure Brooke already knew that. "He said he was sorry and that he wants to fix it. All of it."

"Do you want that? Do you still want for you guys to be together?"

"I don't know…"

"Because you don't need him. You know that, right?" Brooke asked. "Look at you, you're a successful woman, P. You're doing great things at the label and you don't need him. He left you in that hotel room more than a year ago and you've learned to move on. Don't let him back in until you're sure."

Peyton nodded, "I'm not letting him back in, it's just… Those phone calls get to me, you know? He says he's sorry and that he misses me and I don't know… I just wish I could believe him."

.

"Why are you here again?" Lucas asked when he noticed Peyton walking into his kitchen a couple of days after she'd been there the first time. He knew she was still in town, staying at Nathan and Haley's, but he had made sure not to see her. He had actually made sure not to see anyone at all.

Peyton sat down at the table and looked him in the eye, "I'm worried about you and –"

"Please, Peyton." He scoffed. "You're worried? Or do you just feel guilty for turning me down?" He sneered and was too busy with feeling sorry for himself and pouring himself another drink to notice the hurt on her face.

She composed herself quickly though, and even though she was worried, she wouldn't sit there and let him say all kind of things that would only end up hurting her.

"Now you will listen to me, Lucas. First off, I am worried. Contrary to what you might think, I do still care about you. Secondly, I don't feel guilty and you won't talk me into feeling like that, okay? I didn't say no. I said someday and your reaction to that was leaving. That's not my fault. I wanted to marry you, I did, so badly to be honest, but I also wanted to wait and –"

"That's basically a no." He shrugged.

Peyton sighed, "Could you please just let me talk? The proposal isn't even why I'm here. I'm here because you're being ridiculous and you need to stop. Sitting here and drinking, wallowing in self-pity? That's not you. I know that losing basketball is awful and you don't deserve that at all, but it's not the end of the world, Luke. You can do other things, you're so much more than just a basketball player." She finished her speech, hoping that at least something would made its way through his thick skull and as they locked eyes for a few moments, she thought she'd actually succeeded.

Unfortunately, he looked away before announcing, "Go. Just leave, Peyton. And don't come back. I don't want you here."

She was too shocked to say anything back so she just nodded. It wouldn't make any difference whether she said anything or not anyway.

It was more than clear that Lucas was not going to listen to her.

So she left. Back to LA.

.

"Hello?" Peyton asked, picking up her phone. It was early, way too early, but since her phone had waken her up anyway, she figured she could at least pick up.

"Did I wake you?" An all too familiar voice asked.

"Lucas?" She asked surprised. Since she had just woken up, she hadn't thought to check the caller ID.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay? I'm sorry I'm calling now, I know it's early there." He apologized and much to Peyton's surprise he actually sounded like himself.

"It's okay. It's early there too, though. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I just needed to talk to you about something."

"Sure." Peyton said and sat up in her bed, ready to listen to whatever it was he had to say.

She heard him take in a deep breath before he started, "Okay. I saw Whitey yesterday and we talked a lot and… I realized I've been awful, I mean, I knew I was awful, of course I knew, but I don't know. I'm changing, I can promise you that. I'm going to change and do something with my life and I'm going to get you back, Peyton. I want you back. I'll fix everything."

Peyton swallowed, trying to process what he was saying. This wasn't the first time he was saying things like that. He'd call her and tell her he's sorry and that he wants to fix things quite often. However, it was the first time he actually sounded sincere. "That's the first time I've heard you say something like that when you're not drunk."

"I know, I'm sorry. I've treated you horribly, I've treated everyone horribly. I'm really sorry, you have to believe me."

"I want to. But I don't know if I can right now. Just a couple of days ago you called me drunk saying that you were sorry and that's what you've been doing for a whole month now. I don't know if I can believe you right now." She said quietly.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds and she could imagine him nodding his head at the other end of the line. When he started speaking again, he sounded more determined than ever, "I'll prove it to you. I understand what you're saying, but I'll prove it to you. I mean it this time."

"Okay." Peyton nodded. "So what now?"

"You'll probably won't hear of me for a while."

"That's how you plan on proving that you're serious?" Peyton scoffed lightly.

Lucas was quick to respond, not wanting any misunderstandings, "No, no. I need to get back on track, everything's a mess now, and I don't want to drag you into this any more than I already have. But when I am, when the mess is cleared out, you'll hear of me. I won't give up this time."

"You better not be kidding, Lucas Scott. One more drunk call and that'll be the last one I'll have ever answered." She warned him. And she really was serious. She still loved him, she'd never wanted for them to break up in the first place, but she had also learned to live her life without him and if she said so herself, she wasn't too bad at it. As much as she wanted them to work things out, the last thing she wanted was to get terribly hurt again.

"I'm not." He promised.