Like the description says, this is the first in a series of mini-scenes connected by one premise: things they never thought they'd say. They are set somewhere in the realm of new-ish Caskett, and they are not in any particular order. They may or may not morph into fuller stories in the future.

Thanks for calling, Jim.

It was a paperwork day.

Beckett didn't mind so much. A day with no bodies meant time to catch up. She had almost forgotten what color the bottom of her inbox was. Her team had fielded several back-to-back and even overlapping cases lately, which meant a mounting pile of forms and reports.

"So where's your boy today?" asked Esposito, chin-deep in his own mound of bureaucracy.

"Meetings with his publisher," she said. "He expected them to go late."

"Just as well," said Ryan. "He usually gets us in trouble on paperwork days."

On the rare occasions when Castle came in when there wasn't an active case, he usually found some way to prevent the rest of them from getting anything productive done. Last time he had baited Ryan and Esposito into a debate about whether brains stored in jars felt more or less like Jell-O over time. Kate had finally hauled all three of them into Lanie's office to use the ME's specimens to settle the bet (because of course it had become a bet), just so she could salvage the rest of the work day. Unfortunately, that's not the way Gates saw it when she asked them where they'd all disappeared to for half the afternoon.

Then there were other, more private distractions, like the time he talked her into taking a long lunch break at the loft. She suppressed a grin at that memory; the actual lunch portion of that lunch had been minimal. So maybe his paperwork allergy wasn't always unwelcome, but if she wanted to spend the weekend having fun with Castle instead of sitting at this desk some more, it was good that he was absent today.

She was finishing up yet another set of case notes when her cell phone rang.

"Beckett," she answered. "Oh, hi, did you get my message? Yeah, he'll be tied up until late." She listened. "We could, but then he would whine about it from now until next month." She chuckled. "Thanks, I appreciate that. I know it's last minute, but does Saturday work for you instead? Great. What? Oh, bring whatever sounds good. Perfect. Thanks for calling, Jim. See you Saturday."

Esposito glanced up from his desk. "Since when do you call your dad "Jim"?"

Kate returned her attention to her computer screen and kept her voice nonchalant. "No, that was just a friend of Castle's. This meeting at Black Pawn came up at the last minute, and he was supposed to host poker night tonight. He asked me to help him reschedule the game."

"Must be nice to have a social secretary."

"Oh, Castle is well aware of how lucky he is."

"And how big he owes you?"

"Yep."

They all returned to their paperwork, and for a minute Beckett thought she had dodged the bullet until—

"Wait a minute," said Ryan. "Castle's poker buddy Jim? As in James?"

"As in James Patterson?" finished Esposito. "You're on a nickname basis with James Patterson now?"

"Guys, it's really not a big deal."

"No, of course not," shrugged Espo. "It's just Jim, right? You've met one multi-millionaire bestselling author, you've met 'em all."

"Something like that. Now do you mind? I'm trying to get some work done."

"Of course," he said, but she knew this wouldn't be the end of it. After a moment of peace, Ryan proved her right.

"So what's he bringing?" he asked.

"What's who bringing?"

"Jim. What's he bringing to poker night?"

"Um, guacamole. Why?"

"Just wondering." Ryan stood up with a handful of files. "I need to run these down to the second floor. If J.K. calls, ask if she can bring her shrimp dip to movie night."

"Ooo, I hear it's to die for," Espo added enthusiastically. They both grinned at Beckett.

"I know, I know," she conceded. "My life has gotten weird."

Espo returned to his paperwork. "Just as long as you realize that."

Do you have suggestions for things they never thought they'd say? Drop me a review or a PM!