T: Hey there! Guess what?

B: You're writing another story?

T: Well obviously, otherwise we wouldn't all be here, now would we? But that's not it. I'm trying my hand at writing a humour story. It's a pretty big change from my usual stories, so I'm not sure how it will turn out, but you see, this is what happened. I was with my family at some friends, somewhere at a mountain , and we were all sitting at dinner and talking, and, well, they started arguing about some very stupid things. And suddenly, I pictured Bakura and Ryou arguing about those same things, and it seemed like it would be pretty funny, so I ended up writing this.

R: What are we going to argue about?

T: That, my friend, is for me to know, and you to find out.

R: *pouts*

T: Well I'm sorry Ryou, but what kind of author would I be if I gave my plots away? Though I can tell you one thing. For once, you're not going to be abused.

R: *eyes shine with a happy and hope full light* Really?

T: Yeah. Only handcuffed. Also, don't get used to it.

R: *eyes widen with shock and fear*

B: I am seriously going to kill you one of these days. Anyway, we don't own anything. Otherwise, I have a feeling Ryou would be wearing a lot more long-sleeved tops. For more reasons than one.

T: Yeah, he would.

R: *tilts head confused* Huh? What do you mean?

T: Oh nothing, don't worry. Oh, before I forget, WARNING! Contains Yaoi (mXm action) and sexual scene! Also, this is going to be my first lemon, so please be gentle with me!

~~«§§‡*** I'm very random with this lines***‡§§»~~

'Ryou!'

'What?'

'Where's the meat?'

'In the freezer, where it always is.'

'Well this time it's not. I can't find it anywhere!'

Ryou let out an exasperated sigh as he put the mop down and walked into the kitchen. Walking right past Bakura, he opened the freezer, and without even looking in, pulled out a casserole with meat, handing it to the yami, who eyed it awkwardly.

'What is this?'

'Humm... meat?'

'I mean what kind of meat?'

'Veal?'

'Why?'

'What do you mean?'

'Why did you buy veal? Don't we always eat beef?'

'No, we only eat beef when I make you steak. Besides that, it's always veal.'

'No, we don't. I think I'd know if I ate veal daily.'

'Kura, I know what I'm buying. Believe me, it was veal.'

'No, it was beef.'

'Veal.'

'Beef.'

'Veal.'

'Beef!'

'Veal!'

'Beef!'

'Vea... wait, are we actually fighting on what type of meat we use?'

'Yes! And it's beef!'

Ryou shook his head. 'I'm not going to be a part of this anymore.'

'Fine. I win. Now make something to eat.'

'Yes master.' Ryou replied sarcastically.

'Oh but I am, and you know it!' Bakura said with a smug grin.

Ryou laughed. 'Yeah, whatever you say, Kura-kun.' He took the meat from Bakura and started preparing dinner. He put the vegetables in first to cook and waited for them to be done before putting the meat in.

'What are you doing? Put the meat in!'

'Kura, the meat goes in later, since it cooks a lot easier than the vegetables.'

'I'm pretty sure that they go together.'

'No, they don't, trust me.'

'Actually, they do.'

'Bakura, I've been cooking basically all my life. Believe me, I know how to cook veal.'

'And I know everything there is to know about meat. ... And knifes... aaand, fire. So I know how meat is supposed to be cooked.'

'Kura, you're giving me a headache now.'

In the next second, Bakura was right behind him, startling the boy. He snaked his arms around Ryou's waist and started kissing his neck.

'I could help you with that, you know? With your headache.' he sad between nips and kisses.

Ryou moaned as he felt Bakura's breath on his oh-so-sensitive skin. The yami took that as consent to continue. He ran his tongue over Ryou's ear, causing him to shudder. He turned the boy around so they were facing each other, than lifted his legs to wrap around the older's hips, and crushed their lips together. Ryou didn't give it another thought before opening his lips, giving Bakura entrance. Which the yami quickly took advantage of. His tongue started mapping the other's mouth, before it started to tease the boy's tongue. Ryou took the invitation and the two started fighting for dominance, causing both of them to moan and groan deeply. In the end however it was Bakura who won, gaining the right to explore the other's mouth to the fullest. And that he did, getting moan after moan, from the boy whose every soft spot was very well known to the darker. By now, Ryou's arms were around his lover's neck, his fingers tangled in the white hair, and he was pulling Bakura close as if he was trying to deepen the pleasure-inducing touches as much as possible; Translation, he was trying to get Bakura's tongue deeper in his throat. Bakura happily obliged, before the natural need for air forced them to part. But that only lasted a second before they resumed from where they left. His hand was soon traveling down the boy's back, ending up on his ass, grabbing the soft flesh. This was Ryou's queue. He was sucking on Bakura's tongue, successfully pulling a deep groan from the older. Of course, the boy already knew this would do the job.

Soon Ryou was with his back against the wall and slidng down on it, Bakura following his movements.

As soon as they hit the floor, Bakura started kissing along the boy's jaw-line, down his collarbone, till he touched the point where his neck met his shoulder. He started suckling at that point, pulling a deep groan from the other, until he was sure that the hickey would last for a few days.

He parted his lips from the white skin enough to pull the boy's shirt over his head, before licking down from his neck to his nipple. He started teasing it with his tongue, causing the boy under him to arch his back and throw his head backwards. Bakura then took the nipple between his lips, biting lightly on it and sucking till it was hard, then moving to the other one. Bakura resumed suckling, nipping and kissing at the skin on Ryou's chest, while the boy's hands were roaming all over his body. He clutched at Bakura's shirt and tried to move it out of the way, but deciding it was a useless piece, he just ripped it off, revealing the well built chest.

'Well someone's eager.' Bakura finally unglued himself off the boy's chest. 'But we can't have you doing whatever you want, now can we?' With this he grabbed both of the boy's wrists, and lowering his head to catch Ryou's lips in another heated kiss, he drew both wrists up to the wall behind them where he held them both in one hand, while he used the other to grab some handcuffs conveniently placed close to their position. Still kissing the boy passionately, he placed the cuffs around a handle attached to the wall... without any particular reason, and attached them to the thin wrists, binding the boy to that place.

'Kuraaaaa!' the whitette whined. The thief just smirked as he pulled away, to get rid of any other piece of cloth placed between their erections. After they were both completely stripped of any piece of clothing he took a second to admire the perfect body of his lover, and didn't waist another second, instantly lowering his head to place his lips around Ryou's hard cock. The boy instantly bucked his hips, however Bakura was ready for it, and held them in place. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

Ryou was in heaven as he felt the warm cavern surround his manhood. A tongue brushed his tip, sending vibrations of pleasure up through his body.

'Kuuraaa!' he moaned out, causing Bakura to smirk around his erection. The yami then started running his tongue up and down the sides of the boy's penis. Ryou was moaning, and screaming, and pulling on the cuffs so hard that, if he was able to think straight, he would be sure the handle was going to come straight out soon.

In the mean time, Bakura kept working his magic, moving the boy's length in and out of his mouth. In the end, it was just too much for Ryou to take. Feeling his stomach starting to tighten, he tried to warn the other:

'K-ku-uraa! I-I'm go-going to Aaahhhh!' he tried through pants and moans, but didn't manage to finish the sentence when another wave of pleasure coursed through him.

But it was enough for Bakura to understand, and he stopped the teasing, not about to let the boy release early. After all, he didn't get his part out of it yet.

Moving back up the boy's body so he was once again straddling Ryou's hips, he moved three fingers up to the boy's mouth, who got the hint, and took the fingers in his mouth, sucking and licking at them, making sure to coax them in his saliva completely. Once he was pleased with his job, he pulled back, and Bakura smirked, moving his hand down to the boy's entrance.

Without another warning, he pushed all three fingers in at once, pulling a scream from the other. He slowly started scissoring his fingers, before thrusting in and out of the boy, making sure that with every thrust, he touched that spot that made Ryou see stars, moan loudly, and pull on the handcuffs as if his life depended on it. Deciding that was enough preparation, Bakura pulled his fingers out, making the boy groan in disappointment.

With a slight chuckle, he positioned himself at Ryou's entrance, and in one thrust, entered the boy completly, a groan leaving his lips. It took all of his self control not to pummel into the boy that still felt like a virgin all over again.

Ryou screamed at the dry intrusion, both in pain and pleasure, and felt the other stop to let him adjust. After a few seconds, the whitette crossed his legs around the other's waist and rolled his hips two times. Bakura groaned out Ryou's name, and that encouraged the boy to repeat the motion a few times.

In the end, however, Bakura decided that playtime was over. He grabbed boy's legs and moved them away from his waist. He pulled out, then rolled Ryou onto his stomach, and moved him to sit on his knees and elbows.

'There. Now we're ready.' and he thrust right back in the boy. This time he didn't wait before pulling out right to his tip, and thrusting back in again. He kept the motion another few times, making them both moan in the immeasurable pleasure it caused.

'K-kuraaa! H-hardeer!'

The thief didn't need another invitation. He immediately started putting more force and speed in his thrusts, and soon, Ryou was moving his hips so he was meeting the other half way.

Ryou was screaming with each thrust, and begging the other to go faster, and harder, and the thief was happy to oblige each time. When he felt himself getting close to climax, Bakura moved his hand around the boy, and grabbed his length, pumping in rhythm with his thrusts. It didn't take a lot for Ryou to cum in Bakura's hand, with a loud scream of the other's name.

The thief felt the cavern tighten around him so much, it was almost unbearable. He cummed right then on the spot, with a scream of 'RYOOOUUU!' that ended in a moan.

He pulled out, and they both collapsed on the kitchen floor, panting.

After a few minutes, having managed to regain his breath, he rolled around to set Ryou free of the handcuffs, and pulled the boy in his arms. They both stayed like that for another few minutes.

'So, how's that headache coming?'

Ryou just smiled up at the other for a few moments, before suddenly remembering something.

'Oh crap, the food!'

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T: Well that was a bit awkward to write. *looks around nervously* soo... how was it? I know the humour part was totally lame, what did you think about the lemon? Please send me your feedback! Remember, it was my first, so I really want to know what you all think of it, and what I should do to improve. I really have to know if I'm any good, but please don't flame!

BA-A-AKURAAAA!

T: O_O Haf'ta go! Bye! Please don't flame!