A/N:

The very foundation of this story came from a fan art, but the idea has exploded into so much more. It was supposed to be a gag story, but there's a lot of drama that ended up happening (What else was I supposed to expect with a pregnant Monkey), so I had to change the genre. I hoped I landed the personalities of the Sanzo party just right. Please leave comments on anything that I could improve on.

Uuleeee!

Goku pulled his head away from the bowl of the toilet and stared down at his up chucked breakfast with tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. All that delicious food, wasted. It had tasted so good and now his stomach was empty again. There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

"Are you okay, Goku?" It was Hakkai. Goku rolled away from the toilet and propped himself up against the cool tile of the bathroom wall, a little winded and light headed from all the heaving.

"This is Hell!" He whined through the door. "I can't keep anything down."

Hakkai sighed. Goku had been sick for the past three days. The Sanzo party had to put their journey temporarily on hold, but Goku hadn't seemed to be getting any better over the past few days. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Hakkai…?"

"Yes Goku?"

"I'm... I'm so hunnnggrryy!" Goku moaned. Hakkai had to restrain his laughter. Even when he was throwing up everything he was eating, he was still Goku and that would never change.

"Alright, I'll go out and get you something. What would you like?"

Goku thought about it for all of two seconds before he decided. "Pork Buns. Pork buns and bananas… Ooh, and can I have wasabi on the bananas?"

'Wasabi?' Hakkai recoiled from the door. "Are-are you sure you want wasabi?" Maybe Goku was sicker than they thought. Hakkai was pretty sure that Goku couldn't eat wasabi.

"Yeah. Lots of it." Goku said with a little bit of the chipperness that he'd lost since he started getting sick.

"Uh, okay. I'm going to go talk to Sanzo and then I'll go get you some food."

"Okay," Goku grumbled.

Hakkai left the room and closed the door quietly. Sanzo's room was the next one over. Gojyo was hanging around outside it waiting for him.

"So how's the squirt doing?" Gojyo was trying to sound casual, but none of them had ever seen the monkey this sick before.

"He threw up again, but at least he's asking for more food," Hakkai smiled wearily.

Gojyo chuckled. "When is the monkey not?"

Hakkai opened Sanzo's door. Sanzo was sitting in a chair near the window with a cigarette slipped between his lips, lit, a long stem of ash clinging to the end as if most of it had burned away without being discarded. His eyes directed to the view outside, but his thoughts were somewhere else. He'd gone through two packs since they'd gotten to the inn and he hadn't really moved from the spot, not even to go see Goku.

"..zo… Sa—zo… SANZO!"

Sanzo jerked and glanced up. Hakkai and Gojyo were looking down at him worriedly. He narrowed his eyes. "What," he snapped.

"Sanzo, Goku threw up again. He's not really getting any better. What do you want us to do?"

Sanzo scowled. "Hell if I know…" He exhaled through gritted teeth. 'Wish I knew what was wrong with that damn monkey.'

"We can't take him to the hospital. I don't think there's a clinic around here that would take a demon."

Sanzo muttered something incoherent, but that was it.

Hakkai sighed. "I'm really starting to worry about him. He asked me to get bananas with wasabi."

Gojyo snickered. "Hey, maybe the priest knocked him up and he just has morning sickness—" Gojyo flinched and ducked, expecting to get shot at.

One one thousand… two one thousand...

Gojyo looked up. Hakkai was also staring at Sanzo. Sanzo hadn't moved. A comment like that should have gotten a rise out of him.

"no…no that's not possible…" Sanzo sighed, relaxing his shoulders.

"Wait! What, you're—" Gojyo reached out and pulled Sanzo out of the chair by the collar of his robes. "You're sleeping with the Monkey!?"

Gojyo felt the barrel of the gun on the side of his head. "Don't act like you're the innocent party here," Sanzo's voice was heavy. "Don't think I don't know about you and Hakkai." Gojyo glanced through the corner of his eyes at Hakkai who was smiling as per usual; acting like the conversation had nothing to do with him.

"Okay, you got me there." Gojyo said releasing Sanzo and taking a step back with his hands raised in surrender, the gun following him all the while. "It was supposed to be a joke."

"But… Maybe Gojyo's on to something…" Sanzo and Gojyo stared back at Hakkai who looked like he was seriously considering it.

"Hakkai, I was joking. I know the monkey in there is missing a few chromosomes, but I know for a fact that he has a dick."

"Yeah, but he's the Seiten Taisei," Hakkai said still thoughtful

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?" Sanzo growled.

"The Seiten Taisei's not technically a human or a demon. Who's to say that there isn't a possibility that he can..." Hakkai paused not sure if he wanted to finish that statement. "According to the legend he was even born from a rock in a mountain, right?"

The room was deadly quiet. Gojyo was afraid to open his trap. Hakkai was serious and even Sanzo looked like he might be considering the impossible.

"…Sanzo?"

All three of them turned to the door. Goku was leaning against the door frame. His brown hair was tousled and his fringe was glued to his face with sweat. He looked paler than the day before, worn out from being sick and a little flushed with a slight fever. He arms were wrapped around his abdomen and gave the impression that he could throw up again at any moment.

"Sanzo, I'm so hungry."

"Get back to bed," he barked. "Hakkai's going to get you something soon."

"O-okay." Goku turned around and walked back toward the room without another sound. The monkey was too worn out to argue. Even Gojyo was starting to get convinced.

"Okay, I'm not willing to jump on this crazy train yet," Gojyo said in a soft voice. "But there is a way we can check right?"

"I could get a test while I'm out getting him food," Hakkai suggested.

"What test?" Sanzo frowned.

Hakkai and Gojyo stared at Sanzo a little ashamed to realize he was serious. "What?" he growled.

Hakkai knocked on Goku's door again. "Come in," Goku called. Hakkai opened it. Goku seemed to be doing a little better. He appeared to have taken a shower and was toweling off his head. He flopped onto the bed and smiled at Hakkai. Hakkai prayed that his suspicions were wrong, if anything, for Goku's sake.

"I got the pork bun and bananas, but I'm sorry to say that I couldn't find any wasabi." He honestly hadn't looked for any. He placed the grocery bag on the bed next to Goku.

"Aww, well at least there are pork buns. Thanks Hakkai." Goku dug around in the bag and pulled out the smaller paper bag that was hot. He pulled out a pork bun and wolfed it down, going for another before he even swallowed the first. Hakkai was happy that whatever it was, it hadn't affected his appetite.

"Hey Goku."

Goku looked up from the bag, his cheeks puffed out with food. "Yah, 'akkai," his mouth full.

"I talked to a doctor while I was out, and he said that he might be able to tell us what's wrong with you."

Goku swallowed what was in his mouth. "Really?" He sounded genuinely happy.

"Yeah, but he said he'd need a urine sample."

"Ewwe. Why's he need some nasty shit like that?" The topic had momentarily distracted Goku from his food. Only momentarily.

"From that he could see what's wrong with you and give us suggestions on how to get you better."

Goku thought about it for a moment. "Okay, anything to stop me from hurling like this. I want to eat something without having to worry about seeing it ten minutes later."

Hakkai, Sanzo, and Gojyo sat around the table in Sanzo's room staring at the stupid little pink stick in the center of the table. The silence was as heavy as it had been earlier—you could hear a pin drop—And to be honest, it was getting on Gojyo's nerves. He slumped back in his chair. Sanzo was glaring daggers at the tester and Hakkai seemed to be thinking deeply about something else far away.

"'Kai, why'd you have to buy a 15 minute one?" he asked, defiantly breaking the silence.

"Because it said it was more accurate."

"What are we going to do if the monkey is, uh…" 'Awe shit, I'm starting to feed into their paranoia!'

"Hopefully he's not and I can kill Hakkai for suggesting it." Sanzo growled, eyes still locked on the tester. But Gojyo had already implanted the idea in his own head and his imagination was running off with the idea. If Goku really was pregnant then that would make the Monk the father. Shit, that was a funny thought. Gojyo was already feeling sorry for the imaginary baby.

The egg timer on the table suddenly went off. Sanzo sat frozen where he was, still staring at it. Hakkai reached out to the center of the table and picked it up. He held it up in front of him and studied it. Gojyo was getting antsy about the results. He pushed himself out of his chair and walked around the table to lean over Hakkai's shoulders.

"Holy shit."

"What!?" Sanzo yelled, finally forcing himself out of his trance.

"Congratulations Sanzo," Hakkai said putting the pregnancy tester down on table in front of him. "You're going to be a dad," and smiled at him with the same poker faced smile he always wore.

Sanzo picked up the tester, not that he could read what it said. There were just two lines on the white strip. He didn't know what the Hell that meant. "Don't screw with me!" he pushed his chair back and stood up, glaring at them as he reached for his gun.

"We're not." Gojyo said honestly.

"But…but, but that's impossible," he slumped back into his chair. "that—That Damn Monkey," he said tossing the tester back onto the table.

Hakkai asked the owner to let him use the kitchen the next morning. He made up all of Goku's favorites. They hadn't decided what to do beyond this morning, but the plan they had for now was to tell Goku. It hadn't been easy for anyone last night. Sanzo hadn't even gone to bed, sitting near the window blackening his lungs further with tobacco. Goku had thrown up again last night and fell asleep lying on the bathroom floor curled up in a ball, but was sleeping peacefully.

Hakkai brought the food to Sanzo's room and Gojyo was asked to go fetch Goku. Gojyo found the monkey on the floor where Hakkai said he would be.

"Hey Monkey, wake up!"

Goku muttered something, adjusted himself on the floor and started snoring again.

"Dammit, you Ape—" Gojyo raised his leg to kick him, but caught himself before his foot made contact with Goku's side. The thought that it wasn't just Goku anymore filled his head and smothered any intention of waking him up as usual. 'Crap. There goes half my morning fun,' he snorted.

He knelt down and shook Goku's shoulder lightly. "Hey Goku. It's time for breakfast."

Goku sat up so quickly, he threw Gojyo off balance and he fell on his ass. "Breakfast…?" Goku said drowsily, clearly still half asleep.

Gojyo laughed. "Yeah, Hakkai made all your favorites."

"Food…" Goku droned and got to his feet, starting for the door of his room.

"Hey, slow down there monkey. Wake up first."

And after a couple splashes of cold water to the face and brushing the taste of puke out of his mouth, Goku appeared in Sanzo's room looking better than he had in several days. He sat down across from Sanzo and smiled. Sanzo looked up at him briefly before closing his eyes tightly and taking another drag of his cigarette. Everyone was really quiet as Goku started eating and even though Goku wasn't looking up from his plate, he could feel their eyes on him.

Finally he sat back in his chair, after eating half of the spread in front of him, and met their eyes. "What the Hell? Why's everyone staring at me? What'd I do?"

"You didn't do anything Monkey," Gojyo said reaching out and ruffling Goku's hair.

Goku pushed away Gojyo hand. "Stop messing with my hair you perverted cockroach. I'm not a monkey. Did you guys figure out what's wrong with me?"

Gojyo started to snicker, and snickering turned into chuckles and from there laughter; the whole situation was a joke. He was laughing it up until Sanzo whacked him with his fan.

"Shut up Ass hole," Sanzo said looking Gojyo square in the eyes. Gojyo got the message loud and clear. He picked up his cup of coffee and leaned back in his chair.

Hakkai took this opportunity to take the lead. He leaned forward and smiled at Goku. "Goku, remember that conversation we had about where babies come from?"

Goku remembered such a conversation and he blushed slightly, "Yeah?" Gojyo had to compose himself, or he would start snickering. He wasn't sure why he found the topic so funny. He knew that it was serious. But then whenever he thought about it, he imagined what the kids would look like, about Sanzo having to reprimand another monkey. These kinds of ideas had been filling his head since the day before.

"You remember how I said woman get pregnant?"

"Yeah. Hakkai why are we talking about this?" Goku's face was still red.

Sanzo stood up. He'd been sitting there grinding his teeth since this conversation started and he couldn't take anymore of this fucking around. He walked around the table and grabbed Goku's arm and pulled him to his feet. "We're going to finish this conversation in your room," he said to Goku. He looked back at Hakkai and Gojyo; Hakkai who was smiling as always and Gojyo who was trying really hard to keep a straight face. "Alone."

"But of course," Hakkai agreed.

Sanzo walked out of the room dragging Goku behind him. "Wait, wait Sanzo. I'm not done eating yet!"

Back in Goku's room Sanzo led Goku back to his bed. Goku sat down and looked up at Sanzo. "What wrong, Sanzo."

Sanzo didn't know where to start. All this shit was too fuckin' weird for him as well. He leaned against the wall trying to think of the best way to say it, only getting more irritated with it by the moment.

Goku watched Sanzo. Sanzo had been acting distant since Goku had started getting sick. Goku couldn't blame him; the first time he up chucked had been a morning while they were lying next to each other sharing warmth and sleeping off the night before. Goku had felt like he was going to lose his cookies all of a sudden and bolted from the room. Goku wondered if Sanzo was thinking this was all a big mistake or something. And Hakkai and Gojyo had been acting weird lately too.

'Shit! Do they know?' Sanzo had threatened Goku that if Hakkai or Gojyo ever caught on, it would stop, all of it. How'd they figure it out? Goku had been so careful. He looked back up at Sanzo who seemed lost in thought.

"Sanzo?" he called out softly.

"What?" Sanzo looked up at him.

"Sanzo please don't hate me…"

"What?! Where the fuck did that come from?" He snapped.

"Hakkai and Gojyo figured out about us, right. They've been acting weird all morning. Gojyo keeps laughing and it's creepy and Hakkai is bringing up embarrassing old lessons. And…and you've been avoiding me. I don't know what I did to tip them off, but I'm—I'm sorry. Just, please don't hate me."

Sanzo grumble something that Goku couldn't hear. He was fuckin' frustrated with himself that he couldn't explain this and the stupid monkey had gone and gotten the wrong idea completely. Shit, Sanzo didn't do this. He didn't talk about them. He'd told the monkey once that their feelings were mutual and he hadn't had to say anything more about it. And their relationship had been running smooth enough up until this point.

He walked over to the bed and sat next to Goku. Goku thought he'd been avoiding him. Well, he guessed he kind of had, but if that was a problem he'd fix it for now.

"There. See, I'm not avoiding you anymore."

Goku snickered. Sanzo was cute when he was fussy like this.

"Goku, this has nothing to do with those freaks next door figuring out about us. That was my fuckin' fault—" Goku was shocked that Sanzo had let it slip, and it showed on his face. "It's about you—Fuck, about us... Shit!" Sanzo ran his hand roughly through his hair. "The shit that Hakkai was trying to get at, and he was doing a shitty job of getting to it, is that you are going to have a baby."

Goku tried to laugh. He knew Sanzo was bad at telling jokes, seriously bad—like he didn't have a sense of humor bad-but this was a really horrible one. He met Sanzo's eyes, and his mouth went dry. He couldn't get up the nerve to do more than chuckle dryly. "You are joking, right Sanzo… Tell me you're joking."

Sanzo didn't move, holding Goku's gaze. "No, no fucking way! That's impossible. Hakkai said that only girls can have fucking babies. That's what he said!"

Sanzo finally turned his eyes away. "It explains why you've been sick like this for a while."

"No, that doesn't explain shit. I probably just have the flu or something; some kind of demonic flu. That's what's wrong with me."

"Goku, we did three or four of these stupid fucking tests that Hakkai brought home. They all said the same thing."

"You all think this?" That explained Gojyo's creepy smile. Shit! "But… But how?"

"I don't fucking know, Goku. You've been sick for days and I haven't known what the Hell was wrong with you. Now I don't know what to do."

Goku was standing over Sanzo. He hadn't realized he'd stood up. He could see the top of Sanzo's head and his crown of golden silky hair. Sanzo seemed really upset. Goku reached out a hand to stroke the tempting blonde hair, but retracted it after thinking of how Sanzo would react to him suddenly touching him again.

Goku flopped back on the bed next to Sanzo. He didn't want to believe it. He hadn't felt like he was any different lately. Sick, but that was it. He was still him. He didn't know how someone was supposed to feel when they were having a baby. Goku had thought that the women must feel like their bodies were foreign to them or something, but Goku felt nothing. 'Maybe it's too soon to tell…' he thought to himself.

"I'm sorry."

Goku looked back at Sanzo, surprised. "Sorry about what?"

"I did this."

Goku was still confused. "Did what?"

Sanzo turned on Goku and pushed him down onto the bed, pinning his arms to the mattress. "I'm the one that made you so fuckin' sick. If we hadn't been screwing around this wouldn't have happen. I fucked up," he growled

Goku didn't understand, but he was starting to get frustrated with it. "What do you mean it's your fault? I'm the one that wanted to have sex with you first."

Sanzo eyebrows twitched. "I wanted it too."

"Then it mutual and it's no one's fault," Goku stared angrily into Sanzo's eyes. "You are not allowed to blame yourself for this."

Sanzo met Goku's eyes and held his gaze. He then sighed and sat up, releasing Goku. "Stupid Monkey getting cocky and thinking he can tell me what to do," he said as he reached into the sleeve of his robe and pulled out his cigarettes and a lighter. "This is all bull crap," and lit the cigarette as he put it in his mouth.

"Where was Hakuryuu?" Goku asked.

Hakkai smiled. "In here." He held up his hand and stroked the white dragon perched on his shoulder. Hakuryuu nuzzled his head against it.

"Kyuu!"

Hakkai had noticed that Hakuryuu seemed to have avoided coming out of the bedroom for the last few days that Goku had been sick and wondered if possibly Hakuryuu had suspected something before they had.

Goku had finished packing his stuff already and was helping Hakkai pack the supplies.

When Sanzo had opened Goku's bedroom door after their talk a couple of hours back, they were both surprised when Gojyo fell into the room, Hakkai innocently standing behind him. Sanzo was pissed, but instead of yelling, went ahead and kicked Gojyo in the ribs as a healthy alternative. "If you are done screwing around we're heading out. The monkey says he well enough!"

"So Monkey, how long you and the shitty monk been an item?" Gojyo reclined back in the chair. He was only asking now, since he knew that said monk was out of earshot and firing range.

Goku's cheeks got warm as he stumbled over how to answer, even bothered enough not to yell at the kappa for calling him a monkey. Wouldn't Sanzo get mad at him for talking to Gojyo and Hakkai about this? But if they already knew about them what was the real point in being quiet about it. Goku had been happy keeping it a secret between just himself and Sanzo for the time that they had, but like any good secret, it wanted to be shared. Goku hadn't had anyone to talk with about their relationship and it wasn't like Sanzo would ever talk about it with him.

"A couple of months," Goku quietly admitted, also because of the lack of Buddhist priest in the room.

"Seriously?" Gojyo was surprised. He hadn't thought they had been together that long. He was expecting something shorter. So the monk and the monkey had been playing secret love affair for a while. Gojyo had to admit they'd done a good job hiding it, but now looking back on the supposed time they had 'been together', he realized if he had really been looking there were signs.

"So what does Sanzo want you to do, Goku?" Hakkai asked zipping the last bag shut.

"He didn't say. I guess I'm just supposed to act normal." Goku didn't really know what he, himself, wanted to do either. He still wasn't sure if he believed everyone and he still didn't feel any different.

"If you're done in there—" Goku and Gojyo flinched, guilt from moments ago making them jumpy, "—I suggest you get your asses downstairs. Now."

Gojyo hoisted himself to his feet gracefully and picked up one of the bags on the bed that Hakkai had just finished with. "Sure thing, Tousan*" he said as he slipped passed Sanzo and evaded getting hit. Goku reached out to grab the other bag, but Hakkai snatched it before he could. Goku looked up at Hakkai, but all Hakkai did was smile. He walked out the door after Gojyo, Sanzo eyes following him suspiciously. He looked back in the room, at Goku standing there with his own bag over his shoulder.

"Well come on," Sanzo gestured down the hall. Goku quickly followed him. They walked down the hall together. Goku really did want to know what Sanzo wanted him to do. He was more confused than ever.

After not saying anything for a while, Sanzo ruffled Goku's hair. Goku loved the feeling of Sanzo touching him and wanted to lean into it like Hakuryuu had when Hakkai had petted him earlier. Goku figured that Sanzo didn't have to tell him what he wanted. It wasn't like Sanzo to say anything either way. But Goku felt like that simple affectionate gesture of touching his head was his way of telling him "this was going to end okay" and Goku felt better with that than he would have with anything else.

A/N:

Yay! I hope you all like it thus far… The next chapter will be up soon. Probably next week 'cause if I post it sooner than that, you'll all be mad at me when it takes longer to post chapters 3 and 4 (not done writing those yet)

Translations:

Tousan*: Japanese, meaning Father or old man. Sorry if some of you disapprove of me putting random Japanese word in the story, but I couldn't convince myself that Gojyo would just call him Dad…