Let's not even ask where this came from, OK? I was really just bored and listening to music and this came to mind. It's kind of inspired by the song "Love Love Love" by Of Monsters and Men, you should really listen to it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, apart from the fingers that wrote this.

"Hey, it's OK." She tries her best to reassure him, biting her lip while she stares down at his mouth. Her eyes flicker back up to his eyes and she smiles, "Really." She's never really been sure of anything in her entire life and, as much as she knows that she's going to regret this later on, she's sure that, right now, this is what she wants. She's sure that he is what she really wants.

And she really, really wants him.

April barely has time to register anything more before he pulls her closer all of a sudden, his lips attacking hers, his arms wrapping around her waist and she finds her own weaving around his neck and tugging him tighter against her.

His tongue slips into her mouth before he starts to walk her around, backwards and through the doorway to her bedroom for the night. She hears the door slam and he pulls away briefly to look down at her for a second.

"What?" She asks, swallowing to try and catch her breath. Her face is flushed and she runs a hand through her hair nervously.

Jackson watches her, a look admiration and adore on his face, "Nothing." He tells her quietly, shaking his head again before he smiles down at her form, resting a hand on her waist and she breaths out.

He kisses her again and she regains her position, arms around his neck as she allows herself to wrap a leg around his waist.

She feels her back hit the mattress after a moment, her back colliding with the soft comforter. A mattress has never seemed so scary before, she notes. But it's not scary, it can't be. It won't be, because she's the one who made this choice. She's the one who decided that she wanted to make her way over to it, to lay down on it with someone.

She's the one who's making it seem scary, it's her own choice and she realizes that. But the feeling won't disappear and she pulls away from him, taking in a deep breath of air.

"April?" He stares down at her, his body hovering over her own. She's much tinier than him, he notices, and she seems afraid as though he's going to eat her or kill her or something dreadful. "If you-"

She stops him by placing a hand on his chest, closing her eyes for a second.

She needs to be sure, because they can't go back. He can't go back. He doesn't want her regretting it, he doesn't want her hating him for it. He doesn't want her hating herself over it. He doesn't want to hurt her, because she's his best friend and he doesn't want to risk their friendship.

It's one of the most important relationships in his life and she's one of the few people that matter most to him. He doesn't want to see her in pain, and he definitely doesn't want to be the cause of that pain.

The way he's looking at her really isn't helping her situation, she thinks. She doesn't know how to be sure when he's looking at her as though he's going to rip her apart, in a good way. In a really good way. She kinds of wants him to, just to see what it'd be like.

"I'm fine." She tells him, unsure of whether she's reassuring him or herself.

Jackson doesn't seem to believe her but he'll go along with it for now until she stops him, only for the benefit of making her feel better. He knows that she's uncertain about this whole thing, and he doesn't want to rush her into anything, no matter how much he finds himself wanting her right now.

He's never really thought of her that way. He always thought that she was attractive, ever since they had met, but that's more simple fact than random observation. He's always considered her a good candidate for a lasting relationship, but he's always avoided the subject because she was his friend and it was strange to think about. He's sometimes thought about her naked (just for the sake of him being a guy), but he never really made much attention to her body whenever he saw her because she was his friend and it was weird to think about her way so he acted as though he hadn't thought of what she looked like naked, her soft pale skin and the shape of her curves.

It was all very weird and improper because she was his pure and virginal best friend, and he wasn't allowed to think of her like that. But now, now that she was making the first move, kissing him like she was doing to die and touching him almost inappropriately, he couldn't help but find all of those disrespectful thoughts about her and dirty things passing through his mind yet again. And now that she was asking him to be her first, to take away that part of her that she only has once, that she'd lose forever, he's not sure he can control his mentality, those badly forms ideas in his mind.

"It's OK." She repeats, her hands resting on his shoulders and he licks his lips before standing back up straight. She watches after him, propped up on her elbows with a small frown as he walks towards the door.

She suddenly feels stupid, those feelings of teenage rejection come rushing back and she almost cries. But she stops herself when she sees him flick the light switch, turning off the lights. It's probably better, she thinks. He locks the door and walks over to her bedside table, switching on lamp before returning in front of her.

The room is dim but she can perfectly make out his form with the light from the bedside and from the buildings outside the window. It's perfect, she thinks.

"You're sure about this?" He asks her again and she would laugh as his persistence if it wasn't for the fact that she finds it adorable and charming, the way he really seems to want to make sure that she's certain. She almost laughs when she remembers a conversation that she had over a year ago; maybe he was her Ben.

April nods, biting her bottom lip as she sits up straight on the bed. He runs a hand through her hair softly and she can't herself when her fingers find the first button of her top. He gently grasps her wrists and stops her before taking over the action, his own hands undoing her shirt and he doesn't break the contact, staring deeply down at her. She suddenly feels her face burning but she ignores her own smart senses and moves her hands to the bottom of his dark sweater.

She toys with the hem before slipping her hands underneath, the palm of her right hand tracing over his hips as she trails the other up his chest. She's always known that he was toned, that he was practically picture perfect but she can't help but blush under his gaze when she feels his hot skin beneath her hands. She figures it's pretty childish that she's never even done this before.

His hands travel down her arms before he grasps the edge of her top and slowly starts to pull it off. She removes her hands from him and raises her arms, gladly releasing her top. Jackson drops it on the floor just as she replaces her hands yet again, tugging his shirt off slowly.

He slips it off quickly, followed by the t-shirt he was wearing underneath. He rests a hand on her shoulder, caressing the strap of her bra as she places her hands on his belt, unbuckling it before it drops to the ground with the slightest clunk.

He unbuttons her jeans quickly before slipping them down her legs. Her bra straps fall down her shoulders and he leans down to kiss the soft skin that they covered to which she replies with a quiet moan, cupping a hand behind his neck.

Though she's still partly clothed, barely, she finds herself feeling very naked. Her bra's practically off and her underwear isn't doing much to cover her but she guesses that it doesn't matter because they'll be coming off soon, anyway.

He grabs her waist and urges her up towards the head of the bed and she shudders at the contact, her chest panting heavy breaths as she moves slowly. He makes his way over to her, hovering over her body, resting his hands beside her head to prop himself up.

She's never been this close to anybody before but she's not going to let it stop her.

She places both hands on his chest again, sliding one down to the top of his pants, her fingertips slipping just below that fine line that separates them. She glances up at him, a curious look on her face and she notices the way he seems tortured at her touch. "Can I...?" She voices and he finds himself nodding, contradicting whatever his mind was telling him.

She slips her hand below the line, and her fingers come in contact with him. She heavily breaths out and he groans aloud when she wraps a hand around him. She can't do this. Well, technically, she can. He can tell that she'd do a pretty good job, literally, but he doesn't want her to. Not because he doesn't want her touching him that way, not because he thinks she'll suck (pun none intended), but because it's her first time and he doesn't want to make her do anything that she isn't sure of. She has to experience things one step at a time, and this is no way to start.

He grabs her wrist from moving any more and stops her, his eyes catching the hurt expression on her face, "Did I-"

"No, you- Just- Let me do this." He requests and she nods after a second, slipping her hand away and resting it by her side. She feels foolish for a second until he reaches down to cup her face and kiss her softly. Maybe she didn't do anything wrong.

She's just incredibly new to this whole thing and she's not sure about any of it, about what to do or when to do it. But she realizes that she needs to take the big leap first, so she's going to let him take care of that because he seems determined to make it really, really good.

He pushes his pants down his legs and somewhere down the close line they're only clothed by their underwear. His lips graze hers again before he trails his kisses down her jaw to her neck to her shoulders. He glances up at her to make sure that she's okay and notices the way that she's watching his every move, a desirous look in her eyes. Jackson smiles at her before taking her hands and raising them over her head, holding them in his grasp.

He finds his way back to her shoulder again, pushing her bra strap out of his way before he leads his kisses down towards her breasts, his tongue tracing over her cleavage. She moans out gracefully, keeping her hands firmly in place when he moves his own to her back to unclasp her bra. April arches her back to give him better access. He lightly pulls the item of clothing away from her body before resuming his place between his breasts and he kisses his way down her stomach. She ignores the fact that she's exposed when he comes in contact with her hips, his tongue licking and his lips blowing on the skin delicately. She practically cries out when he kisses the light skin just above the top of her lacy panties.

April sighs out a breath, remaining in place as she allows him to continue. It's incredibly insane, and maniacal, and amazing all at the same time and she wonders how she's never let herself do this before. She wonders why she's never let herself go, why she's never even come the slightest bit close to letting somebody touch her this way. The few people she's kissed, who've ever gotten the teeny tiniest bit close to this, she's somehow managed to put off or push away by doing something stupid or saying the wrong thing.

But, he's different, she knows. He's her best friend. He's not going to make her feel stupid, or meaningless, or anything degrading and embarrassing of the sort. He's the safe choice. He's her safe choice, and she figures that, she couldn't have chosen better.

He's her best friend and so, on some understandable level, she loves him. She loves him in the comforting and honest way, in the sense that he'll always be there for her and have her back to protect her whenever she needs it.

She assumes that this won't change much. As awful as it sounds, he's only doing her a favour. He's helping her out, encouraging her to discover new territory that she's never really made a fuss about. He's allowing her to experience something amazing, something that she won't forget any time soon, and possibly forever.

And Jackson doesn't want her to forget it either. He doesn't want this to mean nothing, he doesn't want to simply be her tester. He wants to be remembered as that guy, that really great friend who did her the biggest favour ever. The word 'friend' almost seems foreign to him when he kisses her, because he's treating her like a lover, and nothing like a close acquaintance.

He's treating this like a love affair, and not like some foolish arrangement. And, though she may try to deny it, she's treating it like it's an act of kindness, rather than tainted adultery.

As much as it must be a big deal for her, and he guesses that it's pretty big, it's just as much a huge affair to him. He's never touched someone this intimately, affectionately and lovingly before, he's never really paid such close attention to the small details. His mind tells him that it must be because she's a virgin, and that's extremely new territory to him. She's never held such an untouched person before and it slowly starts to kill him that she wanted him.

He wants to be her first, and he knows that there's no going back now, definitely not, but he can't help but imagine the repercussions. Would she hate him? What if she could never look at him the same way ever again? What if they'd just fucked up their perfectly good friendship for one single night of passion and infatuation?

He doesn't want to lose her, he can't. He can't lost her, or her love as a friend, because she's one of the most important people around him and he can't picture his life without her in it.

Jackson ignores his brain in the moment, his thumbs hooking down the sides of her panties and he slips them down her legs at an intensely slow speed. She moves her hands down to her sides and closes her eyes as her chest heaves with short abundant breaths.

He makes his way back up to her face, his hands gripping her the sides of her waist gently as he rests his forehead against hers gingerly. "Are you okay?" He asks her quietly, his voice almost a whisper and she opens her eyes, finding him gazing directly at her. A small blush covers her cheeks and she smiles before biting her bottom lip.

"Yeah." April breathes.

She is, she does mean it. She knows that she's going to be okay, that it's going to be okay because it's him and he'd never do anything to hurt her. At least, not something that was naturally set up to hurt for anybody that was doing it for the first time.

His blue eyes flicker down to her lips as he seems to contemplate something deeply and he licks his lips.

She realizes what he's doing and holds his shoulder comfortably with her hand. "Jackson, hey." She starts, her voice short of breath as she nuzzles her nose against his, "I'm alright." She assures him, pulling him closer and slipping a confident hand down his boxers. "Take them off."

Somewhere close behind, they both lie completely naked, her body in a comfortable position beneath his.

"April, if I-"

She cuts him off, pulling him against her tighter and she bends her legs up at his sides, clasping her heels behind him to bring his body closer towards hers.

April gasps faintly when she feels him against her entrance, and a hot shiver shoots through her body. She swallows a deep breath and nods her head, clasping her hands within his own and he lays them above her head. "OK."

Barely a second later, she feels herself tingling as he enters her, his body moving at the slowest speed above hers. It hurts like hell but she fights back the feeling, shifting her body to a slightly new position.

Jackson leans down to kiss her, the contact slow and wet. He pulls back when he hears her moan softly and she closes her eyes shut tight. He stops his vastly increasing speed and stares down at her face when she moans out in his mouth, "You okay?"

She doesn't respond for a second, her lips forming into an oval as she pants. She shakes her head after a moment, pulling him closer to meet his lips sloppily.

She can do this, she wants to.

"D'you want me to stop?" He asks her worriedly, a small frown on his face at her expression.

April smiles up at him, kissing him again as she whispers against his lips, "No."

He can't help but find her sudden new confidence and persistence to continue completely attractive, no matter how fucked up that seemed. He guesses that she finds it aggravating, the way he keeps asking for her to confirm that she's okay, that she's satisfied and comfortable, and perfectly fine with what they're doing.

Jackson finds his back hit the mattress as she switches them over, taking sudden control of the situation. She cups his face in her hands and presses her lips to his roughly as she starts to move her body again, riding against him. He can't help it when one of his hands slips towards her behind, the other sliding down between them against her centre.

After some time, she slowly stops her movements as her body shivers, letting her lips kiss his own one last time messily and he slips his tongue out of her mouth when she falls down and collapses to his side.

Her chest pants heavily for a minute or so.

"OK." He begins with a slight chuckle, "That was really great." He tells her honestly and she can't help but agree with a small giggle. "You were great. I mean you were..."

It wasn't that he was expecting her to suck, he wasn't. In fact, he'd imagined her to be the complete opposite of a train wreck. And she had, she had been great, he wasn't kidding.

She has a smile on her face but he can't tell if it's a good thing so he dares himself to ask her truthfully, "You glad we did that?"

He's not sure he can bare it if she says no, because that would mean that they'd lost absolutely everything. That they'd lost their friendship, that she'd lost herself for nothing, that she could later call it just a good romp in the sheets with that guy who used to be her best friend.

It takes her a few seconds to respond, the smallest hint of a frown on her face as she breathes out deeply, out of breath, "Yeah."

He rests himself up beside her, an adoring look on his face as he stares down at her, "So, you're OK?" He asks her yet again, watching the way she rolls her head a few times, clear daze written across her face.

April smiles, "I'm fine I'm just- My gosh." Her eyes show some form of disbelief and aftershock, and she lets her hand fall down at the side of her head carelessly.

It's his main concern to make sure that she's fine, that she's not regretting anything.

He tries his best to ignore the way she stares up at the ceiling, swallowing the lump in her throat dryly as if she's questioning herself. "We should get some sleep." She suggests.

Jackson throws himself back down beside her with a smile, "Yeah, I should get some sleep." His expression fades after a short while, instead replaced by a look of confusion, "Here, or...?"

She shakes her head with a crease of the eyebrows, "Yeah, yeah." She tells him first, following her words by something entirely different, "Or- Or you could... go."

It gets awkward incredibly fast and he frowns at her words.

"Don't you have to get your pencil?" She reminds him, and he's not sure of what she's doing.

He laughs for a second, knowing deep down that there was nothing funny about it, "It's the middle of the night." He quips. He doesn't want to leave her bedside, he doesn't want to leave her alone after that, he doesn't want to imagine her curled up alone in bed alone thinking about what they'd just done. He glances at her and she laughs as well. He is that guy, though. He'll do whatever she wants and, right now, she clearly wants to be alone. So, he'll go if she wants him too, he'll go if it'll make her feel better, if it'll help her sleep at night, no matter how much it pains him to leave her alone like this, "But you know what, I could go if you want. Yeah, you know what, I'll go, and get some sleep."

He props himself up again, this time a much more careful and worried look on his face.

"You sure you're OK?" He whispers a last time before he leaves, and she carefully watches the entity of his face from his eyes to his lips as he tries to find it in himself to leave her.

Her voice breaks as she responds because she realizes that maybe she doesn't want him to go. But she doesn't want to seem clingy and needy so she won't ask. "I'm great."

He can't help but feel some sort of guilt over leaving her but he pushes it to the back of his mind and smiles, a true smile on his face as he lays eyes on her, clear adoration apparent. "I'll see you, tomorrow." He tells her finally, unable to stop himself from grinning down at her. He figures that she probably didn't expect a goodnight kiss but he can't help it so he leans down and kisses her softly, her lips slowly parting as he traces his thumb over her chin lovingly.

Jackson pulls away and shakes his head softly as he gets up from the bed, carrying the edge of the sheet with him until he reaches his boxers.

She watches him leave the bed, slowly redressing, biting her lip with a visible look of disgrace on her face.

April sighs out, glancing up at the ceiling and she suddenly remembers her Church, and her faith, and the true reason as to why she had waited so long to begin with.

Oh, God.