Allie and Esther attacked the house with zeal. Every door, cabinet, or closet was opened, carefully perused, and shut again. A list was made of the household goods and it soon became apparent that the house was well-stocked with most of the items they would need to launch their plan. By the time Allie had counted the fine cotton sheets and hand-embroidered towels in the upstairs linen cabinet, it had also become obvious to her that a woman had a hand in outfitting Bill Decker's house. She shut the last cabinet as her aunt turned to her.
"Bill's mother or sister had excellent taste. Those sheets were so soft and luxurious. Everything appears to be new, too."
Allie smiled, "Bill's mother died giving birth to him and he had no other living relatives; my guess would be that he had his mistress come in and set up the house for me." She laughed at Esther. "You wouldn't look so shocked, if you knew him. The man didn't want a wife, he wanted a broodmare. Thank goodness, Heyes pushed him far enough that I got a good look at the man I was really marrying."
"Yes, we owe so much gratitude to Jed and Heyes. It's going to be so sad to see them go," said Esther as she stooped to pick up a jumble of sheets she had pulled off the master bed. She had offered to wash them, but Allie had suggested that they burn them instead. As a compromise, Esther decided she would wash them and send them off with Corky. She did not see the stricken expression her words had provoked. Her niece carried a box of Bill's small personal items and she started walking away, pretending to be examining them. "Allie, I'm sorry."
Allie looked up and nodded, but continued to the top of the stairs.
"When is he leaving?" Esther asked gently, placing her hand on Allie's arm to stop her.
Allie sat down heavily on the top step and set aside her box. "I don't know. Oh, Esther, what am I going to do? I've tried so hard to pretend that this would never happen; if I just put it out of my head it would disappear."
"I don't know what you can do, dear, except try to accept it," Esther sat down next to her. "Be strong for him, Allie. As hard as it is for you, it will be so much harder for him."
"Why do you say that? How could it possibly be any harder for him?" cried Allie. The thought of Heyes just riding off and leaving her made her very, very angry with him.
"Because your mother and I are here for you and you have a wonderful home and a bright future ahead of you, dear," Esther brushed her niece's hair back from her face and tucked an errant strand behind Allie's ear.
"You sound like Heyes. He keeps telling me that he has no future, no hope. I hate him for saying that, why does he have to be so pessimistic? Did you know I asked him to make love to me?"
"Did he?" asked Esther as neutrally as she could manage. Her heart sank at the thought that Allie might already be carrying an outlaw's child.
"No, he refused to. He said it wouldn't be fair to me. That he would be using me. He kept telling me that I would meet someone else and be grateful that I hadn't. I'm not feeling grateful at all, I'm furious. I love him and I want to be with him."
Esther was relieved and surprised. Her opinions of Mr. Heyes and Mr. Curry just improved significantly and they had already been high. She also realized a man could only resist so much and Heyes was a man lacking many moral restraints. "Dear, has anyone taught you how to prevent an unwanted pregnancy?" Allie was blushing and Esther patted her arm before continuing, "Don't be embarrassed, I only wish someone had asked me that question before it was too late.
Let's leave these things here for a moment. I have a pamphlet I would like you to read; it was written by a Mr. Edward Foote a few years ago and was considered scandalous at the time; however the shelter I used to work for found it quite helpful and I happen to have brought several of them with me. I think you should read one and then you and I should have a long, serious conversation." She stood up and reached her hand down to help Allie up.
OOOOOOOOOO
The Kid and Heyes had started cleaning out the stalls in the barn, removing the old dusty straw and raking the dirt underneath it. A bale of clean, fresh straw was left in each stall for its future resident. The water and feed buckets were washed and rinsed out; cobwebs were chased from their hiding places. Heyes did most of the pitchforking and dusting, while the Kid took charge of reaching the high spots and walking the filled wheelbarrow out to the manure pile around back in order to save his partner from hurting his sore leg further.
Heyes had sent Kyle over to wake Wheat and start in on the bunkhouses and he could see the two other outlaws through the stall door. Kyle was listlessly sweeping the front porch of the small building. Heyes felt for the small man. His heart had been broken, just like his own would be. The thought of leaving now lodged in his mind, Heyes turned quiet and moody.
Kyle finished sweeping and stood the broom up, leaning it against a post. He fished around in his pants pocket and pulled out the velvet box, opening it. The ruby still looked bloody to him as raw as his heart felt. Why had he dragged his heels about asking Daisy to marry him? He could've asked her so many times and he knew she'd say yes. So why hadn't he? He'd told everyone he'd been saving up, but there was only a crumpled five dollar bill shoved down inside an old sock in his saddlebag; shoved there after a particularly enthusiastic night with his 'girl'. He'd always thought he'd ask her someday. The problem was, in his mind, someday had been a long ways off.
He'd seen the hope in Daisy's eyes every time they'd talk about a possible future together, but he'd always pretend he hadn't and, in the morning, he'd creep out of her room like a thief in the night. Hell, he was a thief and he'd proven it to her time and again. He thought he'd loved her enough, but now he wasn't so sure. He jammed the box back into his pocket and grabbed the broom, sweeping the porch, again and again.
OOOOOOOOOO
Allie was at the other end of the kitchen washing the pots and pans, when the kitchen door opened and Ruth walked in with Monty close behind her. Her mother looked happy. Allie wasn't at all sure she'd ever seen her mother look so young and vibrant. Monty wore a silly smile on his face and looked for all the world like a schoolboy who'd just won all the marbles. She picked up a hand towel and dried her hands. "How was your ride?"
Ruth jumped guiltily and blushed a deep red. "Darling, I didn't see you there!" She smoothed her skirt and glanced over her shoulder at Monty. "Our ride was wonderful, wasn't it, Monty?" Allie had to grin at the embarrassment on the rugged man's face. She was happy for her mother, but a little jealous, too. Ruth had what she wanted; love.
"Oh, um, yep, it was real nice," said Monty. He cleared his throat and turned officious. "The fencing looks good. There's just one spot up near the reservoir in the northeast corner. Looks like someone blew the heck out of the fence line there."
"That was the result of a minor squabble between Heyes and Mr. Decker," laughed Allie.
"Ruthie, darling, remind me never to piss Heyes off," he said, taking Ruth's hand again. He never wanted to let her go. She smiled up at him, remembering. They had dismounted at the reservoir and walked the perimeter while Monty made note of the needed repairs. They had also talked. Monty had told her the sad, heartbreaking tale of his beloved wife and daughter; breaking down in tears. No man had ever opened his heart to her like that and she lost hers forever when he did.
She, in turn, had recited her history, coldly and dispassionately; because to her, her life had been an emotional wasteland. She had made an offhand remark about Monty choosing a frigid woman and he had taken her in his arms, ever so gently, and kissed her softly, proving her wrong, until she had nearly forced him to teach her, right there in the tall, dry pasture grass, exactly what love should feel like.
"Don't worry, you'll never have the chance," said Allie bitterly, returning her attention to the sink.
Monty and Ruth felt awful. There was nothing either of them could say. Allie was going to have her heart broken and no one could stop it.
OOOOOOOOOO
Allie gave Corky a long list of items and sent him, with some money, into town to set up some charge accounts for the ranch and to pick up supplies. Heyes didn't want any of the Devil's Hole gang to go, just in case they ran into Roy; Golden's sheriff. He was pretty sure that good old Roy had spent plenty of time after killing Bill Decker wondering about Mr. Cole James and where he and his friends had gone off to. Instead, Heyes and the Kid had ridden over to the Rocking M to visit Scott Medgar. Posing as Cole and Steven Boswell, once again, they reached an agreement with Scott to allow the Circle Bar D to continue to purchase water from the Rocking M like it had in the old days. The two outlaw partners were riding back to the Circle Bar D, when the Kid spoke up, "Heyes, you're doing everything for Allie except spend time with her. She could take care of all this after we've gone." Heyes was silent, so the Kid continued, "Look, I know you want to take care of her, but don't you think you should be spending these last few days with her?"
His partner gave him a particularly dirty look and spurred Fannie into a gallop, ending the one-sided conversation. The Kid shook his head and let his horse lope quietly home alone.
OOOOOOOOOO
Heyes had just turned Fannie out and was walking back towards the house when he saw Monty and Kyle in the storeroom. Changing course, he walked over and poked his head in the door.
"What are you two up to?"
Kyle jumped, but Monty answered, "Kyle and me are heading up to the reservoir after lunch. Fence is down. Looks like Decker had enough wire and posts to do the fix."
"Great. Hey, Monty, I'd like to talk to you. Do you have a second?"
Monty shrugged, "Sure," and followed the outlaw leader over to the freshly cleaned bunkhouse next to the storeroom. They both sat down on the old rockers on the front porch overlooking the yard. "What's on your mind, Heyes?"
Heyes smiled. He really liked this direct man and was glad he'd be helping Allie and her family. "I'm glad you're staying on, Monty, but there's something I need to ask you to do for me."
Monty waited. He sure hoped Heyes wasn't going to ask for something he couldn't do. His loyalties had shifted considerably in the past few hours.
"Allie thinks the money she has from her father will go a long way, but it won't, if she doesn't get some help. You and I both know that women's rights ain't the most popular cause in the West."
"Heyes, she already said she won't take your money. I ain't about to take it for her."
"That's not what I'm asking. Well, maybe a little, but here's what I was thinking. If you could, real quietly, let Soapy know what charities have stepped up and are helping the ranch, he could see to it that those charities get some generous, and very anonymous, donations. There'd be no risk of anyone finding out, because Soapy is already known as a charitable man," Heyes smiled slyly at the big man.
It took a moment, but Monty returned the sly smile and nodded, "You are a devious man, Heyes, and I like that about you. Okay, I'll do it. Just make sure the ladies don't find out. They'd skin me alive."
Heyes laughed, delighted to know that he could help after all. It might be selfish of him, but he needed to know that he would be able to take care of Allie, one way or another, and this would give his own life some purpose. He already felt better, knowing that Monty was on board, and he was beginning to think of ways to insure a steady income. There were a few jobs he had been considering; he'd have to start giving them some more thought. Grinning happily, dimples carving laugh lines across his cheeks, Heyes pulled out two cigars and handed one to Monty.
The two men were still sitting on the porch, still grinning at each other and enjoying a smoke, when the Kid rode in. He glanced at his partner and noted the happy smile. Good. At least Heyes seemed to be coming out of his earlier mood. Now if he could just convince his partner to seize the time he had left with Allie. He could tell that Heyes was already withdrawing from her emotionally. At least this time, Heyes knew the split was coming; when he'd lost Sally, the heartbreak had been unexpected and the aftermath had been pitiful. He knew his partner, and Heyes was already guarding his heart. It was too bad, too. Someday, he'd be sorry.
His own tasks done, Jed went inside to spend the rest of the afternoon helping the girls move the heavier furniture and clean under it. It might've been hard on the back, but it was worth it.
OOOOOOOOOO
By evening, the house had been thoroughly cleaned and inspected; the barn had been scoured from top to bottom, and the bunkhouses were spotless. Corky had returned with supplies late in the afternoon and had said his goodbyes, leaving for Denver a short time later. His departure had dampened everyone's spirits. Exhausted from the day's work, Esther and Ruth had retired immediately after dinner much to Monty's disappointment. He, the Kid, Wheat, and Kyle were having a friendly game of poker at the kitchen table. Heyes was in the parlor seated in front of the fire again, dozing. He'd wanted to be alone and that was how Allie found him.
"Heyes, are you awake?" whispered Allie softly as she stood in front of him. His arm reached out, she gave a delighted shriek, and he pulled her onto his lap; holding her tightly to him.
"No."
"You could've fooled me." She giggled and kissed him.
"Nope, now I'm sure I'm dreaming," he teased.
"I hope you weren't too upset with me today."
"Upset about what?" he murmured into her hair.
"About my not taking the money from the robbery."
"No, it just means more for me," he said, grinning at her now.
My, how she loved his smile; she sighed and leaned against his chest. "What are we going to do?"
He knew what she was asking, and found himself unable to answer immediately; clearing his throat instead before speaking. "We're going to say goodbye just like we've always known we'd have to."
"You make it sound so easy. It's not going to be easy for me."
"It isn't going to be easy for me, either. I wish I could stay, but you and I both know that you'll be better off with me out of your life," said Heyes bitterly.
"Are you saying that I'll never see you again?" Allie stiffened at the thought and Heyes felt it.
"I don't know; maybe someday. I could write to you through Soapy or Corky."
"No, don't. I don't want you to write. When we say goodbye, it will be over. I can't live hoping against hope that you might 'someday' come back into my life. I don't think I could stand your writing—seeing what we have dying a slow, pitiful death on paper. I don't want you to visit. I cannot survive your leaving me more than once. I will always love you, but I have to let you go or it will kill me."
He swallowed hard, "Allie, I love you, too, and there's nothing I want more in this world than to stay here with you forever. I would if I could, you know that, don't you?"
"Yes, I know that, but it doesn't help one little bit." She cried softly for a few minutes and then wiped her eyes and pulled away. "Will you come to bed with me tonight?"
He searched her face and then he shook his head. "Honey, you're killing me. I can't. We can't. If I did that, I'd never be able to ride away from you." He put her off his lap and stood up. "Goodnight, sweetheart." He kissed her softly and left.
She sat down in the chair, still warm from his body, and listened forlornly, crying softly, as his footsteps receded away from her.
OOOOOOOOOO
"Kid, we're leaving after breakfast," Heyes told his partner the next morning.
"What's the hurry?"
Heyes didn't answer. Instead he packed up his shaving gear and stowed it in his saddlebags. Lifting the bags, he tossed them over his shoulder and started for the door. The Kid stepped in front of him, effectively blocking his way. "What are you doing, Kid?"
"You didn't answer me. Why are you in such a big-ass hurry to leave?"
"Get out of my way."
"Now, is that any way to talk to me? I ain't getting outta your way until you tell me what's up with you. What happened last night?" Heyes lifted his fists and the Kid smiled, "You gonna hit me just because I asked you a question you don't want to answer?"
Heyes dumped his saddlebags on the ground, ran his hand through his hair, and hollered. "Damn it, Kid. What do you want me to say? I can't be around her any more. I can't do it. It's too hard."
"Hey, you've been with her all along with no problem. What's changed?" The Kid put his hands on his agitated partner's shoulders. "Heyes, what happened?"
"She asked me to sleep with her last night!"
"And that's bad?" The Kid cocked his head slightly and smiled.
"Yes!" Heyes shrugged off the Kid's hands and began pacing about the room. His cousin watched him with his arms crossed. He'd been expecting this, but hadn't realized it was coming so soon. "I can't use her like that. Don't you get it? I LOVE HER!"
"I kinda knew that. Heyes, I don't think Allie's worried about being used. She probably wants something to remember you by."
Heyes went white and stood rooted to the floor, staring at his partner. "Like a child? Is that what you're saying? Geez, Kid; that would be the worst thing I could ever do to her!"
"Don't be stupid; that's not what I meant."
Heyes was pacing again. "I can't do it, Kid. I mean I really don't think I could; knowing that I might never see her again. I can't handle it." He stopped, highly agitated, turning to the right and then to the left as though boxed in by invisible bars. "I've gotta go, Kid. If I don't, I'll…I've just gotta go. But, there's something I want you to do for me; for Allie."
The Kid walked over to his partner and put an arm across his shoulder, pulling him tightly to his side. "Okay, partner, if you say go; we go. But not before breakfast."
He listened as Heyes asked his favor.
OOOOOOOOOO
The two men walked into the kitchen as Ruth and Esther were bustling about preparing the meal, while Allie sat at the table peeling a bowl of potatoes. She whittled away at the one she held, the shavings dropping into another bowl. She finished and grabbed another, without looking up at them, and silently attacked it.
"I sure hope we're having hash browns," said Jed. Ruth looked at him and held up a finger to her lips, shaking her head as a warning. He sat down next to Allie, shoulder to shoulder, and picked up a potato. "I reckon I can work for my meal. Heyes, sit down, and give us a hand." He glared at his partner, daring him to refuse. Heyes frowned back at him, but came around to the other side of Allie and sat down. Soon the one bowl was empty and a large pile of shredded potatoes remained in the second bowl. Esther came over and took away the filled bowl, dumping the potatoes into a hot fry pan. Ruth went out to call Monty, Wheat and Kyle in from the bunkhouse.
Jed, Allie, and Heyes sat silently; shoulders pressed together, Allie's head tilting to rest on one outlaw for a while before resting on the other.
Wheat and Kyle came in followed by Ruth and Monty. She had warned them that something was going on with Heyes and Allie, and to choose their words carefully. Mid-way through the awkward meal, Kyle reached into his pocket and pulled out the velvet box, pushing it across the table at Allie. "Miss Allie, I'd like you to have this; to remember your time in the gang."
Allie felt the tears spring to her eyes. "Kyle, I couldn't. You should keep it and get your money back."
"Please, I'd like you to have it. It would mean the world to me if you'd use it to remember us by." Kyle was so sweet, so earnest in his request, she couldn't turn him down.
Reaching out and opening the box, she looked at the lovely, ruby ring. "Kyle, it's beautiful, but I think my heart might break just a little every time I looked at it. I'll tell you what, if it's all right with you, I'll save it for one of the girls we hope to help; someone just like Daisy; would that be all right with you?"
Kyle understood; he couldn't bear to look at that damned ring, either. "Yes, ma'am, I'd like that just fine."
The ice broken, the others began to chatter quietly. Ruth suggested that Allie might consider changing the ranch's name. No one wanted to remember Bill Decker and this would help to wash his spirit away. Allie perked up at the thought and a spirited discussion followed as the meal was consumed. Monty listened quietly to the others, and then, taking Ruth's hand, he spoke up, "How about the Second Chance Ranch? Me and Ruthie are getting our second chances and I reckon those girls will, too."
"Yes, the Second Chance. It's perfect," said Allie. She bit back her tears and her bitterness; if only Jed and Heyes could have another chance things would be so different.
The dishes were cleared away and Allie and Heyes were left sitting at the table, alone but together. Heyes broke the silence, "We're going to ride out soon. The Kid's having Wheat and Kyle pack up now."
"I'm sorry you feel like you have to leave, I don't want you to."
"I know you don't, but, Honey, I have to."
She sighed, "I know."
He took her hand and held on to it tightly, leading her out the door into the yard. The Kid was holding his gelding and the smaller, blazed-face sorrel gelding Heyes had been riding. Both horses were packed with their gear. Wheat held his and Kyle's horses as Kyle walked over, leading an unsaddled Fannie. She whinnied and tossed her head in excitement as she neared her "herd". Monty, Esther, and Ruth stood nearby.
Kyle stopped in front of Heyes and Allie and handed Fannie's reins to his boss, walking over to join the others. Heyes patted the glossy neck lovingly, and spoke softly in the mare's ears for a while, then handed the reins to Allie, "I want you to have her."
"Heyes, no, I couldn't…" Allie started to cry, but she took the reins, clinging to them like her life depended on it.
"She'll be your foundation mare. She's a fine mare and she will give you beautiful babies," his voice cracked on the last word and he whispered, "I wish I could." He kissed her softly, and then, he kissed her hard as though imprinting the taste of her on his soul. Finished, he lifted her chin as he had so many times before, and said, "I love you. Never forget that."
"I won't," she whispered through her tears, "I love you, too. I always will."
He turned from her and said his goodbyes to everyone else, without turning back. She watched him numbly until Jed hugged her and kissed her goodbye. She clung to him, too, begging him not to ride out, but he gently pushed her away. Ruth and Esther put their arms around Allie while Heyes and his men mounted; they held on tight to her as the riders began to file out of the gate; and they felt her lean on them. Heyes paused mid-way down the drive, and turned back for one last look, tipping his hat, and smiling a huge, dimpled smile even though his heart had split in two. Spurring the gelding, he yelled and took off, the Kid by his side and Wheat and Kyle struggling to catch up.
She watched him go until he drifted from her sight, his last smile lingering in her consciousness. She might never see that smile again, and she sure as hell would never forget the man who wore it.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Thank you all, dear readers, for riding along with me all this time. I'm so grateful to each and every one of you for your encouragement and your loyalty! InsideOutlaw