I wrote this a long-ass time ago for the Fantasy challenge thingy on the RusAme community on LJ and I guess I just forgot to post it. Oh well, here it is now! :)
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
The night was freezing cold, the stars twinkling down on the shadowy landscape like so many diamonds formed out of brilliant ice. The living creatures were all tucked safely into their burrows and beds. All save for a lone man who stood as still as any of the trees in this silent crystal world. Violet eyes bespoke a deep, aching pain as he stared through the window of the small suburban home like the Little Match Girl looking in on the warmth of Christmas.
Ivan watched through the window as his blonde angel wept. His heart ached to see him like this, so sad and despondent. The lights were off, he was curled up in a ball, and it looked like he hadn't gotten out of bed to change or bathe in days. And it was all his fault. If he'd just been more careful, things would have had to be like this. They could have gone on like they were before, happy and in love.
He had resigned himself to his fate, but he still couldn't help wondering what it could have been like if he'd listened to Alfred and just stayed home. He felt his heart ache as he pressed a hand to the glass, gazing on his lover, thirsting like a dying man for him. If he could take it all back he would, make it so that fateful night had never happened.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
Five Days Before
Alfred stretched up to place a kiss on his boyfriend's cheek as the last of the bags were packed into the car. He didn't want him to go, not so close to their anniversary, but Ivan had promised to be back in time, and he never broke a promise to Alfred. He was sweet like that. It was one of the reasons Alfred fell in love with him. "You have the directions?" He asked, pulling Ivan in for a kiss. Ivan responded in kind, chuckling at his boyfriend's coddling. "Yes, dorogoy. I have the directions. And my clothes, and a towel just in case, and I've rechecked my reservations, and I've made sure to pack the camera so I can take you lots of pictures. Now quit worrying and kiss me again so I can go. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can get back, da?" "Alright, alright. But if you get there and realized you've forgotten your tie or some stupid shit like that, don't say I didn't try,da?" He teased, surging up again to lock lips with the taller man. He didn't want to let go, didn't want to let Ivan go. Something in his gut was telling him to hang on, just a little while longer. "I am only going to New York for a few days to take care of some business. I'll be back before you even have time to miss me, solnyushka." He reassured the American, planting little kisses all over his face. He never liked leaving Alfred for any amount of time, but they had to pay the bills some way, right? "That's impossible, I miss you already." Alfred assured him, kissing him one last time before backing up and letting him get into the car. Everything in his was screaming at him to stop the damn car and make sure Ivan never left, but he brushed it off. It wasn't anything serious.
As Ivan pulled out of the driveway, neither of them knew they had just made the worst mistake of their lives.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
Ivan watched as Alfred drug himself out of bed. At first he thought he was going to go to the kitchen and make something to eat. He was getting so thin and Ivan hadn't seen him eat in days. But he turned down the hallway, taking the same route he did every time he got up. He never failed to bypass any physical need of his in favor for the emotional need that plagued him.
Ivan watched him make his way to the living room where the younger man had set up a shrine, complete with photos and candles emitting a soft, eerie light that bathed the area around it. The photos were from a happier time. When they were young fools in love instead of whatever it was that they'd become. Their first date, the time they'd gone up to Canada to visit Alfred's brother Matthew, the day they bought their house. It was like a temple and Alfred was the devout High Priest.
"Ivan…" The blonde whispered as he touched each picture and relic reverently in the same pattern he did every time. The watch he'd given Ivan for his birthday last year, the locket with a lock of Ivan's hair that had belonged to his mother, right on down to the picture taken by their friend Gilbert as blackmail. That one was particularly important in this religion of grief.
It was the two of them together, asleep on a bus coming back from some school trip or another when they were in high school. That was back when they were still trying to tear each other's throats out. Some teacher had decided that pairing them together on the bus would make them get along better. And in some ways, she was right. They'd spent the whole day insulting each other and almost getting into a few fist fights. But on the way back, Alfred had fallen asleep on Ivan's shoulder. But instead of moving him, the Russian had just let him be, even though he hadn't known why at the time. By the time they'd made it home, they were curled up together on the seat. The aftermath had been awkward, but it was the start of something magical.
"Ivan, baby, why?" Alfred croaked after long moments. His throat was still hoarse and dry from the hours of crying, it was hard to speak. But he kept on, he needed answers, he needed a way to understand. And in this moment it didn't seem ridiculous to expect them.
"Why did you have to die? Why not me? It's not fair! God just can't take you and expect me to go on like nothing happened!" He cried, throwing the picture at the wall and making a dent in the plaster. His vision was clouded with black despair and red hot anger at the cruelty of the world.
But as it dawned on him what he had done, his heart clenched in fear. Had he broken this precious relic? He stared at the wall in horror before rushing to get the picture. The glass was shattered and the frame was splintered, but he managed to salvage the photo. He cradled it to his chest, the sobbing starting fresh.
Ivan waited for the familiar ache, but it wasn't there. He looked down to see that his heart had, once again, fallen onto the ground. He picked it up, dusted it off, and pushed it back in. Suddenly he felt a rush of emotional pain. But he took it gladly. If he could still hurt then he could still love. And that was one thing he would never, ever give up on. He had promised Alfred to love him for eternity, and he would.
Alfred looked down at the picture in his hand, tracing the lines of Ivan's face. It was too much for one person to bear. How was he supposed to go on like this? He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't think. It was Hell. But it was worse than Hell because at least in Hell there was a chance he could see Ivan.
"Why couldn't you have taken me with you?" He whispered to the picture, unaware that the real thing was right outside his window.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
Ivan had been driving for hours and he felt like he was about to drop dead from exhaustion. He'd spent the whole of last night finalizing his presentation and hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep. But he would soldier on, he could do it. It wouldn't be the first time he'd pulled an all-nighter. But as time went on the road seemed to grow longer and Ivan's eyelids began to droop. He tried turning on the radio, but even the screeching metal music Alfred liked to keep in the CD player wasn't working. As day turned to night, Ivan succumbed to sleep at over 60 miles an hour. The car began to swerve to the side, scraping against a guard railing. The car sped on, sparks flying as the metal grated together. Ivan slept on, not even the noise of his impending doom awakening him. He was out like a light and was about to drop like a stone. Ivan woke up just as the car finally broke through a weak spot in the railing, hurdling off the side of the cliff. He screamed, trying to get a handle on the car. But as the back wheels left terra firma, he knew that he wouldn't ever see his darling Alfred again. Ah he plummeted to his death, a strange calm over took him and a fleeting though crossed his mind of Alfred's smile and what he'd give to see it one last time.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
Ivan took a deep breath and pushed open the door, flicking on the light switch. Alfred winced, shielding his eyes from the bright light. He couldn't remember the last time the room had been this well lit. He didn't exactly have the inclination to turn the lights on anymore.
But as his eyes adjusted and the figure before him became more distinct, his heart began to race. This couldn't be real, he was just dreaming! He'd seen the wrecked car, the mutilated body, he'd gone to the damn funeral!
But there was Ivan, standing before him like nothing had happened. The only indication that he'd ever been dead the thick scar tissue ringing his neck where he'd been partially decapitated in the crash, uncovered by the scarf he had usually worn in life. Alfred had kept it as part of the shrine, hoping to ease his pain a little with the faint scent still lingering on the piece of cloth that had been almost an extension of the man he loved so dearly.
"B-but…how…what?" He stammered wondrously, looking at Ivan like he'd seen a ghost. And for all he knew, he was. As far as he knew, Ivan had died five days ago. So what was he doing here? Ivan bent forward and pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him. Now was not the time for petty words that meant nothing. Now was a time for action, a time for them to be together without worry.
"Do not speak, solnyuska. All that matters is that I am here now, da?" He asked, cupping one cheek in his hand as he bent in for a kiss. Alfred responded immediately, tackling him to the floor and kissing him harder than he'd ever kissed him before.
"But what happened!?" He asked as they pulled away for breath. Ivan just silenced him again with another kiss. And another. And another. Soon Alfred had forgotten all about what had happened, or what he thought had happened. It didn't matter, not when Ivan was right here with him.
They tumbled onto the floor, bodies moving together in perfect unison from years of experience. They'd been together so long that each one knew just what the other needed. It wasn't long before flesh was sliding against flesh and both of their bodies were begging of release.
Alfred gave a low moan as he was entered, a feeling he never though he would experience again. There was nothing more perfect than this: twined with his lover on the living room floor, feeling the love and the passion that he exuded in moment like this.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
Ivan lay there, looking up at the ceiling of the car as he struggled for breath. He knew he was dying, there was no way around it. He could feel the metal piercing his skin and the cold starting to creep in. It was only a matter of time, now. A shadow passed over him, the chill in his bones growing worse. He could see a face in the darkness, but it was indistinct and hard for the dying man to make out. But the deep voice that boomed in his ear as if from a thousand miles away and yet so close wasn't. "Ivan Braginksy. Your time has come, the hour of your death has arrived." The voice rumbled like ominous thunder. "Do not try to escape your fate. Your ties to the living world are severed irrevocably. Now and forever you belong to the world of the dead." Ivan felt a tear trickle down his face as he thought of Alfred and how much he would miss. He had wanted to stay with him forever, growing old and dying in his arms like at the end of that movie Alfred loved so much where the woman had Alzheimer's. The bloodloss was beginning to effect him if he was rambling so much in his own mind. "But you are special, Mister Braginsky. You have options not given to most. You can pass on to the next plane and see what awaits you at the gates of Heaven, or you can kill the one you love the most and become a reaper of souls." The figure said, standing over him like an angel of death. Was that what it was? Was this the Grim Reaper, finally come to shuffle his immortal soul off of this mortal coil? "Alfred!" Ivan rasped, blood spilling over his paling lips. "If this Alfred is truly who you love the most, you may bring him here to join you in your work. But only if you are willing to take his life." Ivan panicked. Kill Alfred? He could never do that! Before he could tell this horrible Eternity without Alfred, or the constant guilt of having been the one to end his precious life? It was a tough decision, but the clock was running down and he had to make a choice fast. He shut his eyes tight, willing his rapidly deteriorating body to hold on just a little bit longer. But it was no use, he could already feel the life draining. He nodded quickly, taking the shadowy figure's deal. Blackness.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
Ivan gazed into those beautiful blue eyes that he loved so much, wishing in his very soul that he didn't have to do this. But it was the only way they could be together, the only way he could keep his promise. He begged Alfred with his gaze to forgive him as he plunged his hand into his boyfriend's chest.
Alfred looked at him in shock, face still flushed from their activities and heart still beating rapidly. Ivan didn't stop his thrusts even as the light died in Alfred's eyes and his heart beat its last. A single tear trickled down his face as he made love to Alfred's corpse. He wouldn't let this moment be ruined just because Alfred had gone.
He slowly pushed the heart back in, kissing the damaged area where he'd pulled it out. Breath expanded in Alfred's lungs as the life came back to his eyes. The American stared down at his chest and began to panic, a scream bubbling up in his throat. But it was swallowed up by a moan as Ivan got in a direct hit to his prostate and his undead body responded.
"Ivan I am going to- hngh! Oh God, yes!- kill you when this is over." He panted, clinging just as desperately as before. Even with the giant hole in his chest and the confusion over what had just happened, it wasn't long before Alfred was bucking his hips wildly and cumming hard between them. Ivan followed suit, licking the tender area around Alfred's bloody wound as everything faded to black.
.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.
When the blackness cleared, they found themselves in a barren landscape underneath a pitch black sky without stars. Alfred held on tight to Ivan's arm, trembling slightly. The supernatural had always been one of the younger man's greatest weaknesses. Ivan looped his arm around him, drawing him in protectively. Out of the darkness came the hooded figure that had given them this second chance together. As he approached a fog seemed to roll over their minds, memories and thoughts slipping from them like water from a sieve. The figure rose his arms to the sky, pale hands the only part of him showing under the heavy cloak. They looked down, knowing without being told that they had been wearing cloaks of their own the entire time. "From now on, you are as death. Anyone you touch withers into dust. You will spend eternity walking the Earth in search of souls. Do you accept your responsibilities, Ivan Braginsky?" The figure asked, voice solemn and serious. "I do." He nodded, wondering how he had gotten to this place. The last thing he remembered was going to see Alfred. It seemed so important now, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why he'd even been gone in the first place. "And you, Alfred Jones? Are you to be a reaper as well, doling out death with your lover?" The figure asked again. "I do." Alfred answered. He knew vaguely that he was supposed to be mad at Ivan for something, but he couldn't remember what. He couldn't remember much at all, really. Any memories he had were quickly fading as those shadowy eyes stared into his. "Come out of the water, my children, and be born anew." As they stepped out of the water, everything they'd known about their lives before that moment was erased. Their family, their friends, their jobs, their house: all gone. But they knew each other, they knew they were in love, and they knew that they were late for their first assignment. And that was all that really mattered.
"Bathe in the waters of the Lethe, forget your pasts as humans." Commanded the figure. Alfred and Ivan nodded dumbly, not sure what he was talking about. Had they been human? All they could remember was being reapers.