Okay, I have no idea where this is coming from, and it's been a long time since I last wrote anything. So, please, inform me if it's utter complete shit. Kay? :)

P.s. It's only the first chapter. much more to come.

~o0o~

At his work table, in his vast lab was where he sat. Rich, amber liquid in a fine crystal short glass, was what he clutched in his right hand; he spared a quick glance at the file in front of him and tapped the condensation on the glass, causing droplets of water to drip lazily down it's side.

Work was the last thing on his mind.

Well, perhaps not the last, but definately not the first. Tony's mind buzzed with the events of earlier that day, there were too many god-awful mistakes to relive, especially his last mistake of the day; the reason for his trashed television and his second (out of many) glasses of scotch that currently rested in his hand. Tony had apologized so many times his jaw still kind of ached, but Pepper didn't wan't him to apologize, she said that alot. She wanted him to stop putting himself in life-threatening situations, stop making her think she's lost him every time he put that suit on. She had told him, she had said it, again and again, but he couldn't tear himself from that damn suit. He remembered she said it while they were arguing, but they both were talking over each other -Tony, trying to make her understand and be reasonable, like a mantra. Pepper wouldn't have any of it, kept shaking her head and giving him bitter smiles that didn't reach her eyes.- She told him to choose, her or the suit, and for the life of him, he couldn't remember why he hadn't chosen her.

So, she left. Tony knew he never deserved her in the first place, knew she was always too good for him, and he never stopped dreading the day that she would finally get so fed up with him about something he did, or said, or didnt do, and she would leave. He imagined it over and over again, all the different ways it could go, it never mattered why she was leaving, but she always did in his fantasies. Nothing he said would change her mind.. He just never thought he'd be so spot on.

Tony slumped back in his chair and tipped the glass to his mouth, relishing the harsh burn in his throat, to his dismay, when he next looked at his glass only two lonely ice cubes remained.

A refill sounds like a good idea..

Tony hoisted himself up from his chair and began to walk through the hallways of the newly revamped Stark Tow- Avengers Tower. The aforementioned Avengers have still yet to move in, but Tony made sure to keep them in mind while decorating, especially on the gym floor. The different fighting styles required different reinforcements. The thought of decor made him chuckle at Ol' Cap's expense, he made sure to stock up on materials to reinforce the punching bags. Ah, good; that should keep him distracted for a few days. A deep stab of pain reminding him of Pepper's absence stopped him short, his breath coming in rasping short pants as he was unable to catch his breath.

He swatted at the door, an irritated grunt left him as it clicked open. As he stood behind the polished oak of the bar top, a thought creeped into his mind; he thought of drinking himself into a stupor. Then, he thought of how that never proved to be useful, yet he continued to do it over and over. What if he didn't have to go through the next few weeks burying himself in his work and nameless women, unsuccessfully trying to forget how much he hates himself? Tony reached under the counter and placed a bottle of brandy topside. What if he didn't have to deal with the horrible head and heart-ache he would wake up with tomorrow morning? He brought up another bottle, this time it was tequila. What if he didn't have to wake up at all tomorrow?

That was it, he had his answer. He didn't. He was Tony Fucking Stark and he didn't have to do a damn thing he didn't want to. And he didn't want to live anymore..

He took the bottles with him upstairs, pausing for a moment in front of the bathroom door, then fished a bottle of Rozerem from the medicine cabinet before moving with long, deliberate steps toward his bedroom. Once he was in the confines of his bedroom he shut and locked the door behind him, and set everthing at the end of his bed. Tony eyed the tablet on his bedside table, picked it up, and put JARVIS on mute.

~o0o~

Steve woke with a start, he shot up -in the uncomfortable bed S.H.I.E.L.D had provided him, along with a rather plain apartment- a sheen of cold sweat on his body. A familiar nightmare danced at the edge of his memory, but it dissipated as soon as Steve fully woke and was jolted back into reality. At least this time he didn't have to reassure himself he wasn't still in 1942, well, not much.

Clambering out of bed with a yawn, Steve stripped of his nightwear as he went to the bathroom for a well-needed shower. The hot water made him shudder, not yet adjusted to the temperature, but soon the steady stream cascading over his tensed shoulders and rigid back made him relax. The hot water didn't stay hot for very long, he remembered. So, he quickly washed himself and exited the steam filled haven.

Steve got dressed into fresh socks and skivvys, pulled on a pair of blue jeans and plopped back down on the bed. What was he going to do? He glanced around the apartment warily, seeing nothing that piqued his interest. He felt cooped up and antsy, being stuck here for days, no villains to fight, no problems to solve.. Even Captain America gets bored.

Steve rolls off the mattress and tugs on a plain white t-shirt that lay in a folded pile with several other duplicates. He doesn't think about the Stark phone in his bomber jacket pocket until he's donned it on and already outside, mounted over his bike. It doesn't ring or vibrate, but he fishes it out and stares at the screen anyway. Perhaps he should visit the young Stark, he did say 'we were welcome any time', right? Any of the Avengers, and that included Steve. He looked at the time and smiled, it was around nine, one early morning surprise -well, early for Tony- for the genius billionaire coming right up.

He pulled up to the Tower in awe, still unable to get used to it's flashy grandeur, but this was Tony, it was obvious as soon as you walked through the front door.

"Good morning, Mr. Rogers. I wasn't aware Mr. Stark had scheduled any visitors today." JARVIS' perfectly clipped british accent spoke from everywhere in the foyer.

"Oh, sorry. Is it alright if I come in?" Steve asked politely, feeling embarrassed, he should've called first. Wait, how could he have done that if he still couldn't figure out how the Stark phone worked?

"Of course, sir. This is the Avengers tower now."

~o0o~

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Tony threw the small piece of machinery across the lab, shattering into scraps where it landed. Dummy cleaned it up quietly, all noise was ear-shattering at the moment, and Tony scolded himself for destroying his work-in-progress as his head pounded in response to the loud crash.

Obviously, his piss poor suicide attempt had failed. His result was waking up in a pool of his own vomit, and a hangover that rivaled the one he had from 2002 in Vegas. Hell, he couldn't even remember any of that, only landing down in Nevada and then waking up wrapped around two male strippers with tinsel in his hair and his goatee gone.

Tony threw away his bed linens and ordered JARVIS to buy another set, black this time, before the day was out. He didn't want to be reminded of what he did, it was stupid, and he was glad no one had to find him like that. He wasn't planning on quitting drinking, hell no, but he wouldn't go that far again, it wasn't worth it. No matter how much he hated himself, that was a bad road to go down. But hey, now that he's apart of some wierd superhero squad, if he ever got that low again, he wouldn't have to do much. Just, be more reckless - if that were possible - to save someone he cared about.

Tony's scalp prickled, he could feel someone's eyes on him, so he turned in his swivel chair with narrowed eyes, with a ready glare for the intruder.

"Hey, Cap!" Tony exclaimed, abandoning his half-formed speech on trespassing in order to greet his friend heartily. They were friends, right? Tony thought so.

Steve looked too hesitant for Tony's liking, but the corners of his mouth eventually turned up into that shy smile, and those eyes make him look like a lost puppy.

Tony stood with a smile, his eyebrows raised in interest, "What can I do for ya, Captain?"

Then Steve seemed to remember that he was here for something other than to let Tony stare at him. He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the Stark phone Tony had given him. "I can't seem to figure out how this gadget works." He stared at it dejectedly, it was cute.

Like a confused child kind of cute.

Tony gestured Steve to come forward, snatching the phone from him he moved closer to the older man so they were shoulder to shoulder, holding the phone so they both could see the screen, "Funny, I thought I showed you how to use this when I gave it to you?"

Steve blushed, but Tony didn't see. "I think you'll have to dumb it down for me a bit." When Tony did look, a smile played on the blonde's lips. He looked back to the phone, nodded, and ignored the silly flutter in his chest. "Okay, well, this is the Home Screen..."

~o0o~

"But there's no buttons?" Steve asked incredulously. Okay, the technology was very advanced, he understood that now, but how does a phone not have any buttons?

"Nope, no buttons, Cap. Doesn't need any, look. Just use your finger like this, and there! Oh, crap. Hang up, hang up." Tony immideatly released Steve's finger and held his hands up innocently, but he looked panicked. Steve hurriedly tapped the red icon on the screen like Tony had showed him and hung up the call he hadn't known he was making. "What'd I do? What just happened?" Steve flushed.

Tony chuckled hysterically, "You just called Romanov, don't imagine she'll be too happy about that."

Steve paled. Oh no, what if she were in the middle of a mission? What if Steve just compromised her cover? Holy crap, he's in trouble. A clap on his shoulder makes him jump, "Ah, don't sweat it, Capsicle. You'll be fine for a few days, she's in Finland."

What's she in Finland for? Oh, he'd never be able to figure it out. Official Spy business and whatnot. Steve almost laughed at that.

"See? No worries. You know how to work the phone now?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah, I think I got it now. Thanks." He tucked the phone back in his jacket pocket and turned to Steve. "It was real nice of you, giving me this phone, offering us all a place to stay and whatnot, you know?"

Tony looked confused and surprised for a moment, but shrugged it off and said, "Well, there's obviously plenty of room to spare, and you didn't honestly think I'd let you stumble around with that hunk of plastic S.H.I.E.L.D gave you, did you?" Steve didn't feel the pressing need for a response, he chuckled and gazed at the immaculate interior that he already had expected to see as soon as he walked inside. "I see you've redecorated."

Tony smirked, "Itchin' for a tour, Cap?"

"Only if you're itchin' to give one."

Steve smiled, he could at least understand that part of Tony, Starks like to show off their toys. Tony's responding smile was one of boyish enthusiasm, his eyes seemed to twinkle as he lead them both to the gym, where he thought Steve would 'really appreciate' what he's done with it.

"I haven't reinforced them yet, but there's plenty extra in the utility room. Go ahead, you can be the first break it in. So to speak." He laughed at his own joke and gave Steve an Oh-come-on-you-know-you-want-to look, Steve shrugged and walked toward the suspended punching bag. Steve imagined the punching bag had a mind of its own and that mind chose to do hurtful things to innocent people, before bringing back his right arm, taking a few steps forward for momentum, and connecting right with its middle. Sending it flying toward the far wall, where it dropped from the iron chain that was keeping it suspended, bounced off the floor-length mirrors, and lay on the floor, plastic pellets spilling out of it pathetically.

"See, my joke was funny. God, I need to reinforce everything around here."

"Perks of being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist?" Steve added in for his own laugh, remembering Tony's arrogant words. He got pinned with Tony's death stare, "Whose housing a couple of master assassins, a demigod, another genius/smashing machine, and let's not forget the world's favorite super soldier." Steve frowned.

Yeah, because it didnt matter whether he was any of those things, though he was. The reason why he had so much work to do -translation: so many things to keep him busy - is because of the team he's become a part of, and he'd like their new place of living to accomodate their varied needs. Such as reinforced everything. As Ol' Capsicle had just made clear.

Speaking of, why was he still frowning? Hmm, Tony contemplated on reassuring the soldier, then reckoned he should move on,

"Come on, I'll show you your room, it's the only one that's done."

Tony mentally slapped himself as he lead Steve to the upper floors where the bedrooms were. Why did he even mention that his room was the only one that was finished? Steve didn't need to know that his room was the only one he put the most thought into, and that's why it was finished first. He absolutely didn't need to know that Tony was extremely nervous as to whether he would like it or not either. God, he hoped Steve liked it.

"After you." He held his arm out in a sweeping motion, gesturing for the blonde man to enter first, it was his room after all; Steve turned the handle and pushed the door open slowly. Oh God, Tony couldn't handle this build up of anticipation, childishly, he scrunched his eyes closed, refusing to open them for anything but Steve's reaction. Also, he didn't want to see Steve's face if he didn't like it. He spent a lot of goddamned time on it.

"So? Whaddya think? Do you like it?" Tony's anxious voice carried over to him, but it was really difficult trying to answer him at the moment. The room was... He couldn't find a word to describe it, the moment he walked in he felt calm and relaxed, it reminded him of walking through the door and seeing his mom smiling after a particularly bad day at school. The soft lighting came from various inconspicuous lamps and sconces, hidden in corners or placed strategically along the walls. It was spacious and comfy, two stuffed velvety brown chairs sat at each corner adjacent to the large window on the far wall- No, it was more of a glass wall, overlooking the vast horizon of the city.- Dense, maroon curtains that raised to the ceiling and fell comfortably to the floor waited at each side of the window, ready to be drawn closed.

To his right, was a large bed fitted with beige cotton sheets and a thick, quilted chocolate brown duvet. Though it was still morning and Steve wasn't the least bit tired, he wanted to just curl up with the pillows or maybe make a blanket fort, the thought brought a smile to his face - something Tony didn't notice because his eyes were still screwed shut. Finally, there was a vintage looking chest of drawers next to a door that he guessed was to the bathroom, a nightstand on each side of the bed, and a not-so-modet flatscreen situated so it could be veiwed from the chairs and the bed. Steve turned to look at the genius, only now noticing that his eyes were closed and an irritated expression began to cross his features. Probably from not being answered soon enough.

"Tony." Steve's grin widened at the hopeful look in his chocolate orbs. "This is... Fantastic." He found himself in lack of a better word, 'the best room I could have ever imagined having' didn't seem like quite the right thing to say. To anyone. Ever. In regard to his dignity.

Tony surpressed the urge to do his victory dance and settled for a satisfied smile in the Captain's direction. "Well, that's great! Hey, uh, wanna get some take out? We could probably cram a couple decades of pop culture in you, too. How's pepperoni?" Steve didn't get a chance to respond because Tony already had his phone out and at his ear, halfway out the door, he laughed and supplied an amused nod.

~o0o~

The pizza was good, really good. They had just finished watching a movie Tony felt was the most important, and was insistent that they watch it before anything else.: Ghostbusters. The pair of them replete and comfortable, sitting on the modern white couch in the sitting room, Tony rambling off random facts about every band when they started to watch their concerts on the t.v. Only the ones he thought were worth watching. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Grateful Dead, Led Zeppelin, and Jimi Hendrix. Steve huffed at all the information he was being given, it was a lot to take in, though the focus of tonight was mainly music from the 60's that he'd missed, it was starting to be a bit too much for him, decades of culture and influence and change, all lost to him. He missed all of that, he missed the world change. And that thought was very depressing to him that moment.
"Steve? You alright?" Tony stopped chattering to stare at Steve, he looked visibly paler, "Have you seen a ghost? Is there a ghost in this tower? Holy Shit, we gotta find it! JARVIS!"

"Yes, sir?"

"Where are the vaccum cle-"

"Tony, stop. It's fine. No ghost." Steve laughed heartily at Tony, ecstatic that he finally understood one of Tony's movie references. Tony relaxed back into his chair, seeing as there was no immenent threat of ghosts haunting his tower, Steve idly wondered if the brunette had spiked his drink with something stronger than soda while he wasn't looking. "Then what's wrong?"

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "It's just, a lot to take in you know? All that I've missed." and he stopped, Steve didn't think they were close enough for him to be spilling his guts like some emotional dame, because he knew he'd cry if he went into detail about what's really bothering him, he'd done it before, and wasn't about to do it again, not in front of Tony.

But, Tony seemed to be fishing for more, the understanding low-lidded stare, now replaced with something that made Steve realize that Tony knew there was more the fair-haired man needed to share. Question was: did he want to? Could he, even if he did? "Do you want to talk about it? Because we don't have to, you know, if you don't want to. You just looked really upset, is all." Tony offered, his eyes flicking from Steve's unyielding confused stare to his own hands, folded in his lap. Obviously he was in unfamiliar territory, that's why Steve was so confused. Why? Why does he care? He's usually so distant, mostly in regard to anyone's feelings, especially his own. So why would he want Steve to open up to him?

Steve had a feeling the man beside him wasn't very good at whatever he was trying to accomplish at the moment, so he decided to put him out of his misery.

"Tony, you don't have to do this. I-I'll get used to it, eventually."

"I don't have to do what?"

"I don't know, try and console me, I guess? I know you feel uncomfortable-"

"I'm not uncomfortable." Tony said quickly, and it was mostly true. He was a little uncomfortable, but that was only because he's never done this before, he's never had anyone who felt comfortable enough to vent to him, not even Pepper, only when they were arguing. He was a robot, like all the one's he's created, emotionally; all his sorrow and depression buried deeply behind snarky comments and sarcasm, but he wanted Steve to, he wanted Steve to be able to talk to him. He'd seen the soldier with that far-off look in his eye, deep in thought, somewhere completely different, remembering something, and he always wanted to know what that something was. Finally given the chance, he was being shut out, because Steve thinks he doesn't want to hear it. Tony just didn't know how to make Steve understand that that was far from the truth.

"I want to know. Tell me. Tell me about the good ol' days, Cap."

Okay, I know, I know. It's all fluffy and whatnot. But, I promise, it's gonna get angsty and dirty real soon. Just wait. :) R&R to enhance the experience.