Perry landed his hang-glider out in the suburbs and dropped to all fours. He'd just have to walk the rest of the way home. He wasn't going to take any chances, not after yesterday's incident. If his vision hadn't cleared up an instant before Ferb's...

Perry stretched his front legs, which were stiff from the hang-glider, and started down the street. He enjoyed his job and everything, but he would appreciate it if he was only sent after Doofenshmirtz when Doofenshmirtz was actually doing something evil. Trying to catch a fish was not evil. Not even when he described it as a scheme and linked the whole thing to some imagined slight from his childhood. What a waste of an afternoon.

There were a couple of men nearby, but Perry didn't pay them any attention, until one of them came over and picked him up. Instinctively, Perry went limp.

"We got another one!" said his captor.

"I told you there were a lot of stray platypuses in this town!" said another, slightly deeper voice.

Perry considered the best way out of this situation. He didn't know what these men wanted with him, but his instincts told him that it was nothing good. Besides, he need to get home so he could catch up on the important things in life, like sleeping and TV and sleeping. Maybe a hard kick to the stomach would work. Then he could follow them from a distance and figure out what they were up to. Maybe report them if necessary.

The man turned Perry around to face him, and Perry took the opportunity for a closer look. His captor was wearing a stupid polka-dotted bow tie and had ears so pointy he almost looked like a very, very tall elf. "He's kind of big for a stray," noted the man.

The deeper voiced man, who was a bit smaller, and a lot less elfin, came over for a look. "You're right..." he began, then narrowed his eyes. "Wait a second, I know this one!"

Perry was certain that he didn't know him. He would definitely have remembered the stained t-shirt the man was wearing. That shirt was not appropriate for general audiences. But then, there were people that changed their clothes every day, or so he'd heard.

"He belongs to those kids from down that way!" He pointed in the general direction of Perry's house.

"What... Oh, those kids!" said the bow-tied man. "They were a little young to be zoo-keepers, if you ask me."

Definitely Phineas and Ferb. That explained why he hadn't seen t-shirt man's outfit before. Well, if they knew who he was, they couldn't know what he did. He was going to have to play along for now.

The elfin man grunted. "Maybe they should keep a better eye on him." He shoved Perry into a pet carrier.

Perry decided that he didn't like these people.

.

They didn't carry him far. Perry couldn't see very well from the carrier, but he judged that they only went a few blocks before entering a run-down house that smelled of disinfectant.

The man in the bow tie tipped Perry out into a small room, said "There you go," and closed the door.

There were two other platypuses in there. The room was completely bare of furniture, and paint in some places, but there were two other platypuses. Perry tried not to stare. He almost never spent time with his own species. He'd had a few springtime romances, but he hadn't interacted with them so much as he'd stood there brooding mysteriously. It was fairly impressive, and it was a good cover for the fact that he had no idea what he was doing.

One of the platypus, a male, sat in a corner and stared at the wall. The other stood her ground in the centre of the room. She narrowed her eyes at Perry and growled softly.

Perry understood from the growl that the room was not her territory, but that she was claiming it temporarily. He crouched, accepting that it was hers for however long she wanted it. He'd never felt comfortable in a leadership role.

The female regarded him, made a gesture meaning "name", and another meaning "Mild Undertow In Shallow, Wide River". Then she added "Name?"

Perry thought. He couldn't pronounce his real name, and although he knew that names were important to platypuses, he'd never had much reason to come up with something he could say.

"Name Spur," he signed at last.

Undertow walked over and inspected his back legs. "Don't have," she observed.

Perry's poisonous spurs had been removed almost as soon as they had emerged. Humans were squeamish about letting their children near animals that could put them in unbearable, months-long agony. "Don't need," he replied. Sometimes he missed them, but it was probably for the best. It would have been hard to resist poisoning Doofenshmirtz in the heat of battle, and not even his nemesis deserved that.

Undertow seemed confused, but she dropped the subject, looked over at the other platypus, and chattered at him.

The other platypus said nothing. He didn't even turn to face them.

"Other name Flotsam," said Undertow, when it became obvious that he wasn't going to introduce himself. "Flotsam wrong mind."

Perry acknowledged what she'd said, then scanned the room for the best escape route. The window didn't look like it opened, and there was no convenient grate, so that just left the door. He hadn't heard it lock, and he doubted that the men had thought it was necessary.

He had to get the innocents out. That was his top priority. Then he could focus on stopping whatever kind of operation was going on here.

"Escape," he said.

Undertow looked at him like he was mentally challenged. "Want to. Can't. All walls."

She walked around the perimeter of the room to demonstrate that there was no way out.

Perry indicated the door with his head. Since it was was her territory, he made a permission-asking gesture and said "Spur clear wall."

That was the closest he could get to offering to open the door. There was no word for door in the platypus language. There was no word for a lot of things. Subtle variations in water flow, different intensities of electrical currents, and plants that didn't even grow in America, yes. Things that humans had probably invented before they'd even seen a platypus, no.

Undertow did not look convinced that he knew what he was talking about, but she gave her permission.

Perry stood in his two-legged professional posture, reached up, and tried the door handle, which turned easily. He walked through and beckoned the others.

They just stared at him.

Perry realised that he'd beckoned them with his front paw, like a human. Of course they didn't understand. He went back to four legs. "Come."

They understood that.

The three platypuses went out in a line, with Undertow at the front and Flotsam in the back. Outside was a much larger room, which was mostly bare except for a couch, a TV, and about ten thousand pizza boxes. More importantly, at the other end of the room was a front door.

Undertow had seen it too. She looked back at Perry and said, "Spur. Clear big wall?"

"Yes," Perry began. Before he could say anything else, a key turned in the lock. He stiffened. "Humans!"

"Hide!" ordered Undertow.

They squeezed under the couch and huddled together. Perry made a face. He didn't know what he'd just stepped in, and he didn't want to know.

He heard the t-shirt man say, "That's the last of... Hey! You forgot to close the door, you idiot!"

"I didn't..." began the elfin man.

"Then who did?" the t-shirt man interrupted. "One of the platypuses?" He laughed.

Perry rolled his eyes.

"Maybe the handle's broken," suggested the elfin man. "Look, they've got to be around here somewhere. I have an idea." There was a rustling noise, and then a mouthwatering smell wafted over to them.

"Come and get it, you stupid marsupials!" called the elfin man.

Perry frowned. They were monotremes, not marsupials. There was a big difference, and humans never seemed to understand.

Whatever the smell was, it was getting stronger, and more alluring. He wanted to eat that smell. He really, really wanted to eat that smell.

He felt Undertow start to move forward, so he bit her leg.

She whirled around and growled, more loudly than before.

Perry widened his eyes. There was no way the men hadn't heard that.