Title: Poster Boy

Author: DalWriter

Rating: G

Spoiler: 3.1 Welcome Wagon

Summary: AU One Shot. What if Parker's poster was of someone else?

Disclaimer: The characters belong to someone else. This is for fun, not profit.

A/N: This was not beta'd. All the errors are mine. I couldn't get it out of my head any other way. I hope it makes someone at least laugh. Can you tell I'm not a huge Parker fan?

#*~*~*~*~*#

Veronica stood outside of Mac's dorm room door listening to the babbling of what she could only conclude must be an alien. Was this woman crazy? She wanted Mac to be a bichon frise so she could carry Mac in her purse? That's seriously demented. Clenching her teeth together to control the urge to taser this blonde nut job, Veronica forced the corners of her mouth to turn upwards in what she hoped passed for a friendly smile.

When Veronica followed Parker into the room to wait for Mac she was startled to see the poster taped to the closet door. There was the bigger than life picture of a smirking Logan Echolls. As much as she hated to admit it, he looked damned sexy in that shot. His chocolate brown eyes pierced the camera lens to look straight at you. The predatory smirk made it seem as though he was waiting to devour his prey in what could only be a tender torture – death by sex.

Veronica knew Logan had posed for the poster. Against his better judgment he'd had to make some money because funds were running low after his dad took the purse strings back then managed to get himself shot. After much agonizing, Logan convinced himself that cashing in on daddy's notoriety in the immediate aftermath of his untimely death was poetic justice while he waited for the lawyers to wrap up the murder investigation and close probate on dear old dad's estate so that he'd finally have some liquidity. The fees from the sales of the poster and an interview with Tiger Beat magazine were enough to pay the rent at the Neptune Grande penthouse for a few more months.

Knowing the poster was out there – Veronica had seen some of the proofs from the photographer and had selected this particular shot as her favorite – and being faced with the reality that someone had actually paid money for it, were two different things.

Realizing Veronica was staring, Parker offered, "Isn't he just scrumptious?"

"Huh?" was all Veronica could manage in response.

"Logan Echolls. He's so hot," Parker stated. When Veronica didn't say anything, Parker continued her explanation in a dreamy wistful voice. "You know his parents were Aaron Echolls and Lynn Lester Echolls. I have loved them for absolutely ever. They are . . . were so amazing. I've seen all their movies. So beautiful I read and watch everything about them. It was such a tragedy. I cry every time I watch TinselTown Diaries. I feel so bad for him. All that tragedy. He's so misunderstood but I'd love to help him out. You know, with all that brooding, he's got to be great in the back seat!"

'Well, she got that last part right,' Veronica thought to herself with a secret smile. She was always stunned by people who thought they knew somebody based on what they read or saw on TV. To Parker she simply nodded not knowing if there were words that could fit into this bizarre world in which Veronica found herself trapped.

Fishing around on her desk, Parker pulled up a DVD. "I have the whole Aaron Echolls Story here on DVD, complete with some home movies inserts. I watch it all the time. "

Veronica crinkled her brow. All the time? That was sickening. She didn't know there were actual home movies on the director's cut. Poor Logan. Continuing to stare at this alien girl Veronica couldn't help but wonder how if Parker was such a big fan and claimed to know everything about the Echolls, how could she not know her? Then again, although Veronica played a pivotal role in the trial, she was never part of the Hollywood version because despite Trina's begging, she and her father never signed the releases to be part of the movie. Logan never talked about her to the media and when they went somewhere they knew would have photographers, they took pains to shield Veronica from the onslaught.

"Maybe we could all watch this together sometime," Parker suggested, clearly delighted that her new friends shared her crush.

There was no way Veronica was going to watch that Made-for-TV farce. Living through it was bad enough. She didn't need to see a small screen version of herself being locked in a refrigerator to be burned alive by a psychotic, murderous pervert.

Breaking out of her reverie, Veronica asked, "Ummm, does Mac know you have this poster?"

"No, I just bought it at the campus bookstore this morning," Parker gushed, reverently smoothing her hands over the poster. "Why, does Mac like him too?"

Shaking her head in disbelief, Veronica replied, "Ahhh, not so much. No."

"Hi guys," Mac greeted as she walked into the room, leaving the door open. When she noticed Veronica and the poster, she stopped in her tracks.

Parker continued to ramble, "Hey, roomie. I was just getting to know your friend here. I just know we're all going to besties this year! I'm so excited. She was admiring my new poster."

Mac scoffed looking wide eyed at Veronica with a question all over her face, "I bet she was."

Parker turned back around. "He really is so dreamy. Do you guys know what I found out when I was buying this?"

"What?" asked Veronica sarcastically but the tone went completely over Parker's head.

"He goes here!"

Veronica nodded sagely, "Really?" Mac turned away so as not to laugh out loud.

"Yeah," confirmed Parker. "I couldn't believe it when I found out. I go to school with Logan Echolls! I wonder if he'll be in any of my classes or if we'll see him in the food court or at the parties. Wouldn't that be great? We've got to find out where he lives. Can you imagine?" She giggled.

As she spoke the tall blonde turned around to finish changing.

Mac caught Veronica's eye and mouthed, "I'm so sorry."

Veronica just shrugged.

Parker still had her back to the door and was finishing buttoning up her sweater when Wallace called out, "Knock, knock," rather than actually rapping on the door.

"C'mon in," Mac welcomed him into her room with a hi-five. "How've you been?"

He slapped her hand and answered, "Pretty good. You?"

"Better," Mac replied and Wallace nodded in understanding. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, sorry," Wallace apologized. Pointing back and forth he introduced them, "Cindy MacKenzie, Stosh Piznarski"

"Mac"

"Piz"

The two simultaneously supplied as they shook hands in greeting.

"Hey, Veronica," Piz sputtered awkwardly.

When Parker turned around, Mac introduced her. "Parker this is Wallace and Piz. Guys, my roommate, Parker Lee." The blonde bent her elbow to raise her hand and waved at them.

"Hey," Wallace said, having been rendered practically speechless by the poster.

Glancing from the poster to Veronica and back again with a perplexed look on his face, Piz finally asked, "Why does she have a poster of your boyfriend on her closet door?"

Veronica, Mac and Wallace looked at Piz as he verbalized the elephant in the room.

"Boyfriend?" Parker choked out in shock.

Piz was confused. "I thought . . ." He pointed out the door then back again, "Isn't . . .wasn't . . . wasn't that the guy you were making out with in the student food court yesterday?"

Blushing Veronica admitted to the PDA, "Yeah."

Both Mac and Wallace grinned at her.

"Logan Echolls is your boyfriend?" Parker screeched.

"Did I hear my name?" Logan inquired popping into the room. "Hey, Mac, Wally." To Piz he simply nodded with a bit of disdain and a warning in his eyes. "I followed the trail of bread crumbs left by the cutest little P.I. in the world and look where it led me," Logan teased as he snaked an arm possessively around Veronica stepping in between her and Piz before bending down to lightly kiss her hello. Realizing that she wasn't kissing him back Logan opened his eyes but didn't break the contact between their lips. Veronica met his gaze and glanced sideways directing him to look at the closet where he was met with his own smiling face.

He broke the kiss. Standing up the new arrival took a half step toward Parker and extended a long arm for a handshake. "I'm, Logan."

Parker fought to speak but the hello she tried to say got stuck in her throat then died on her lips. Her eyes were wide open in disbelief and her heart was beating so fast she thought it would fly out of her chest. Instead of a word all she managed to squeak out was a high-pitched mewl. Before Logan's hand actually touched hers, she swooned and sunk backwards onto her bed.

Logan rolled his eyes but turned around to his audience grinning with fake pride. "It's the Echolls charm. Gets 'em every time."