I wanted to create a fic that explores the little tidbits of information which we have received regarding Season 5. JW hinted at Olivias hesitation in telling Peter about the pregnancy and this is my exploration of this. I also want to work in Anna Torvs idea that Olivia never wanted to become a mother.

I have a plan for this fic to run over several chapters however this all depends on feedback. If I do write more I may also be in need of a beta reader so please PM me if you are interested!

Enjoy, and feedback is always welcome!

Up until now the idea of a family or a 'Tribe of Bishops' as Peter had so lovingly suggested had always been merely a distant idea or hope but as of yesterday it had become an eventuality, a certainty.

She had spent the past 24 hours in a flux of emotions which Peter had decided were the first visible symptoms of her pregnancy but the truth was, she couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of guilt that had washed over her ever since she had found out about the unborn child she was carrying. Guilt over the fact her irresponsible actions six weeks ago had resulted in this innocent life being created, one that would eventually have to enter this world that she had come to understand was downright inhospitable at the best of times.

When she clocked eyes on Peter standing outside her apartment in the freezing March air that evening she could barely contain her feelings. She wanted to hold him, touch him and believe that what she was seeing was honestly true. It had taken them all of 30 seconds to reach her bedroom once they had entered the building and after what felt like a lifetime of being apart neither of them were prepared to be rational and stop each other in the middle of their tracks over the fact that neither of them had a condom to hand. Looking back now she realised that Peter probably presumed she was taking extra precautions like she was in the previous timeline, but before Peter entered her life again she had no reason to, the only man in her life had been Walter and while precautions were always worth taking around him, contraception was not one of them.

She glazed her hand over the flat plane of her stomach and noticed that a much larger hand shortly joined it. A she glanced up momentarily she was met by two blue, glazing orbs. She could tell without even looking down that he was smiling; ever since finding out about the baby she had noticed that Peter wore a different expression, one that she had never seen on him before. It was a look of pride; he was genuinely happy and at peace and Olivia couldn't help but feel a further sense of guilt that she wasn't wearing this same expression also. She knew that while Peter would obviously experience the fear of becoming a parent at some point it would be a fleeting fear that would no doubt vanish at the first scan or at worst the moment he laid eyes on their son or daughter. She however knew that from this point on she was destined to feel the anxiety of not knowing whether her child would be affected by the amount of Cortexiphan in her system; while Walter had assured them that the levels in her blood where now negligible she also knew enough about science to know that Cortexiphan had bound itself to her DNA and hence potentially to her childs.

Olivia was shortly woken out of her thoughts by a hand skimming its way down her left side and pulling her closely in, she smiled briefly before tucking herself into the strong torso next to her as Peter pulled her in even closer.

"Watcha' thinking about?" Peter asked as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Olivia simply provided a gentle 'nothing' before proceeding to stroke the hairs on his forearm in an attempt to gloss over the question.

Peter smiled to himself quickly before he continued 'Yes you are, you always go quiet and pout your lips like that when your thinking. Is it about the baby? Because you know hun' I'm sure Broyles isn't going to mind you taking a few months off, especially after everything we've experienced over the last couple of days"

"Hmmm I suppose' was all Olivia was able to muster.

While she hated keeping Peter in the dark over her feelings she couldn't help but think that he just wouldn't understand, in fact the more she thought about it there wasn't a single person who would understand her situation. Earlier in the day she had thought about calling Rachel, it had been too long since their last conversation and in all honesty Rachel was the only person that Olivia knew who had experienced a pregnancy. However the more she thought about it the more she realised that she was truly alone in this situation. Nobody else was able to say how they also feared for their child's life because of their job, or because they were experimented on from the age of three, or even because both parents were from different universes. In truth she came to realise that this was because people like Olivia Dunham were not supposed to have children.

Before Peter had returned to her life Olivia had made the conscious decision that if she were to ever meet somebody and settle down, children would never be part of the equation. While she loved children and it was clear that children loved her she also knew deep down that her job was far too consuming for her to be able to parent as well.

Yet the moment Peter returned it was as if a switch was triggered in her, she wanted to fill that hole in her life she had experienced with a family unit. Her, Peter, Walter and even a child or two. She thought back to the morning in bed when she had tested the idea of a family with Peter, oblivious to the fact that she was already pregnant. When she noted his reaction she felt a sense of potential happiness for the first time, things were going well, the bridge was closed putting stop to Bells plans and there was a real chance for them to experience normality.

It didn't shock her however when her perfect little bubble had burst and she was forced to face up to reality that normal wasn't going to exist for them and a child would never be a viable option.

'What do you really think our chances are of having a normal life?' she remembered asking Peter the other night back in the kitchen. It wasn't a question that she needed answering but nevertheless Peter tried to reassure her that things would be ok. She wondered whether he also felt the same as her deep down at that point.

Just 48 hours ago it was possible for her to think rationally about the situation, she had even stopped off at the pharmacy on the way to the lab for contraception and she knew that she needed to be able to think like that now, to make a rational decision. But it wasn't possible and deep down she knew why it wasn't possible, no matter how much she was fighting against it her motherly instinct was kicking in and for a single moment she tried so hard to grasp on to that feeling, what Peter had been feeling. Pride.