A/N: Hey all! I'm just posting this as a sort of teaser until I finish up Under Your Skin, which should be wrapping up soon. I haven't written much angst, so hopefully this turns out not too bad. Hope you like it. :)

Also, I got the title from the song Infinity by The XX and the lyrics will fit into the story so you should go listen to it. It's a really good song.

I unlock the three military grade locks of the door to the pathetic excuse I call home. I shuffle my way in, flicking the light on, and kick the many empty takeout containers out of my way. I told myself days ago that I would clean this dump up. I tell myself a lot of things these days. I throw my bag onto my twin mattress laying on the floor and open the fridge. A groan passes my lips as I look into the near empty shelves and drawers, remembering that buying groceries was one of the things I told myself. I pull out the one Tupperware container and hesitantly open it. My nose is instantly violated by the putrid smell and my hand flies to my mouth as I gag. I quickly snap the cover back on and toss it towards the overflowing garbage. As if in slow motion, it slides off the top and onto the ground. The lid pops off and the contents spill all over the ground. I angrily stick my middle finger up in its direction, slamming the fridge door shut. I desperately dig through the cupboards, hoping to find anything that isn't expired. I let out a cry of triumph as I spot a small package of saltine crackers.

I plop down on my mattress with my crackers and glass of water. It's nights like these, which happen more often than not, that i'm glad i'm alone and there's no one to witness me in this pitiful state. I pull my phone out of my bag, ignoring every new text and missed call, and tap my way to the video folder. I select the only video listed and hit play, brushing the crumbs off my shirt as I nibble on the crackers.

"Say hi." I tell her. The lens blurs her glowing, post-coital upper half before focusing in. Her brown, shoulder length hair lies sprawled out around her face and her bare skin is coated with a light sheen from sweat.

"Stop. Put that thing away." She whines, raising her hand to cover the lens and the screen goes black. "I look gross."

I grab her wrist and pull her arm away. She comes back into view and she looks annoyed, her eyebrows furrowing and lips pressed tight. "You're beautiful," I tell her.

She tries to fight off the corners of her lips from pulling into a smile and she covers her face. I again pull her hand away. Her neck and chest are turning a dark pink from the compliment. She takes my hand in hers, kissing my palm and holding it against her cheek. Closing her eyes, she nuzzles into it.

"We only have one month left until we graduate. Are you ready to conquer the world?" I ask. The pad of my thumb gently strokes the soft skin under her chin.

I pop the rest of the cracker into my mouth, the memory of asking the question so fresh in my mind as if I had only asked it yesterday. In reality, it had been three years. It was a day we talked about forever, walking across the stage and receiving our much deserved degrees. The day we got entire freedom and stood with the world at our feet. We realized soon after that day handling freedom was something we didn't do well.

"Only if you're by my side." She answers me.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I walk my fingers across her collar bone, down between her breasts to her bellybutton, laying my hand flat. "Tell me you love me."

"You know I do." She says simply.

I had known. It wasn't something we needed to tell each other often, to prove or remind ourselves that we did. When she looked at me with those twinkling hazel eyes, I could see it. When she laughed at all of my corny jokes, I could hear it. Every time we touched, even if it was just the slight brush of our shoulders as we passed in the hall, I could feel it. Each time my lips would collide with her body, I could taste it. And when I looked into the mirror, I could see it. Her love had left impressions all over me. I had become the epitome of this girl's love.

But those impressions had turned to scars and now I was only a shell of what that love had meant. Or what I had thought it meant.

"I want to hear it. Say it."

She looks away from the camera and into my eyes. I stop watching her on the camera screen and look at her. She rests her hand on mine. "I love you, Tegan."

"Say it how I like it." I zoom in on only her face. Each perfect imperfection crystal clear. She blinks and licks her lips.

"Je t'aime, ma cherie." She says with a flourish.

The accent she had perfected over the years of studying her love of the French language always made the butterflies in my stomach take flight. It still does. I can only imagine what it were to sound like today. Even though i've watched this video every single day for over three years, I fear that if I were to hear it in person today, I wouldn't recognize that it belonged to her.

I hold in the back button and suddenly she's moving backwards. I let go, and she tells me again.

"Je t'aime, ma cherie." I love you, my dear.

She says it as many times as I want. Usually i'm greedy and I lose count of how many times she tells me everyday.

She grins at me and takes the camera from my grip. She focuses it on me, where I sit straddling her waist. The tangled bed sheet wrapped around my body. I cross my eyes and stick my tongue out at her and the camera wobbles as she giggles.

I hit pause, taking a moment to study my younger self. I don't recognize her; so happy and full of life compared to the hollowed eyed drone I have become. The living dead. The first sign of the zombie apocalypse.

"Now tell me." She demands. I, too, look away from the camera and at her.

"I love you, Sara. Forever." I tell her. I let the sheet fall from my body and lie next to her. Moving my legs under the covers, I pull the sheet back up, covering us both.

She holds the camera above us. She flips the screen so we're staring at ourselves; two identical faces. I turn my head towards her, kissing her on the cheek. She hands the camera back to me and I continue to hold it above us. She rolls onto her side, curling into my body. We lay there for minutes, the camera catching every stroke of my hand running through her hair and the noisy yawn she lets out in the crook of my neck.

"Hey sleeping beauty, it's not even 9." The sun had only just gone down, the moon now our only light source in the dark bedroom. "Did I wear you out?" I tease.

She lets out a short breathy laugh, "You wish."

I close out of the video, placing the phone back in my bag and shove it onto the ground with my foot. I lay down, not bothering to put on pajamas and pull the large, plush comforter up to my neck, surrounding myself in its feeling of safety. There I lay, wondering how at the young age of 25, I already had my best years behind me.