Set sometime between the events of the first and second books of the "Infernal Devices" series.

Identity Crisis

Tessa was alone. Again.

Sitting in her lavish room, she was turning over the facts of the past months in her mind; trying to find some closure in the jumbled and seemingly otherworldly encounters she had made with warlocks, goblins, vampires, werewolves and of course Shadowhunters.

There was something she was missing. Some piece of the puzzle that caused her to wake in the middle of the night with a pulsing need between her thighs.

She was fully aware of the tension that had grown between her and Will. And she also was aware of the budding of a relationship with Jem.

Lying in her bed, she looked up at the ceiling, not focusing on anything in great detail. Instead, she let her mind wander. Tugging the sheets up around her, Tessa tried to picture the times when she could imagine herself leading a normal life. Being married. Owning her very own house, complete with a library of all the famous canons. She would discover books that she had never even heard of, and would be widely acclaimed as the smartest woman in all of London.

Tessa could picture it so clearly, the smell of the books and the feel of the library. She could almost feel the warm embrace of her future husband. She imagined him coming into the house to her reception, with a fire crackling happily in the background.

She pictured him pulling her towards him and as the face came into focus she saw-

Jem? Will?

And just like that, the picture blurred out of focus, pulling her from her peaceful reverie.

Yawning, Tessa stretched her arms above her head, threading her fingers into her hair and combing it gently. She was almost lulled to sleep when she was awoken by Jem's melancholy violin, its graceful song wafting into her room.

Looking again to the ceiling, she despaired she would never be able to rest, and as lovely as Jem's music was, she needed somewhere quiet.

Knowing the rest of the Institute was asleep; Tessa didn't bother with a nightgown and simply slipped out into the hall. Upon closing her door, Jem's music stopped abruptly and began again, as if he paused to see if he had heard something.

With soft steps, Tessa padded quietly through the halls and found herself in her favourite place in the entire Institute. The library.

Closing the door firmly behind her again Tessa, guided by the soft glow of witchlight, found herself again searching for something light to read, something she could finish at a day's notice.

Smiling with delight she picked up an apparently unread copy of "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. Turning to the first page, Tessa settled into a warm winged back arm chair, residing near a softly cracking fire.

As she thumbed through the pages, she became less aware of the story being played out in the words and more focused on the events which passed with the Magister.

There is no Tessa Gray…

These were the words that had haunted her for days. It made her feel numb. Worthless. Invisible.

With high determination she would not allow herself to cry, she set her mind back to Lizzie Bennet. Although described as plain, Tessa could not help but imagining her with tumbling black raven hair and piercing blue eyes.

Then, she thought of something that had never once struck her mind before. If there is no Tessa Gray, then in actual fact I could turn into anyone.

Anyone.

There was no doubt about it. Tessa was curious. She had never seen a man's body before. She had never known what their, privates, looked like. And there were two bodies that she fantasised about in the dead of the night. And now she could, would, see them without feeling wanton and disgusting.

The thought stirred something in the pit of her stomach. A familiar ache returned between her thighs, one that she could never quell.

Tessa gave a quick glance around the library and searched for something of Will's or Jem's. Glancing over the back of the armchair she was sitting in, the located a jacket of Will's.

It was course in her hands and had that unmistakable smell of him. Leather, soap and mischievousness. Quickly she slipped the jacket on and concentrated. It only took mere seconds before the Change took place.

Just like that, Tessa became Will. She looked down at her hands, now covered in scars of all sizes and shapes and rough callouses from hard training. She felt the ripple of his muscles beneath the jacket, the stubble on face beneath her hand.

She felt liberated.

Tessa decided to take things slowly. She wasn't going to look at his privates straight away. She wanted to enjoy him first.

She slowly unbuttoned the top of the gown she had been wearing, uncovering the numerous Marks on his skin. Without inhibitions, Tessa ran her fingers across his chest and felt a bloom in her heart. It felt so- exhilarating.

Unexpectedly, she felt a tightening. Tessa felt that burn that she could feel in her own body, but this was different much different.

She looked down into her lap and was taken aback. Tessa could feel the heat and weight of her arousal. It felt different. It felt good. She tentatively pushed her gown to the floor and revealed Will's cock. She couldn't help but gasp at its length and hardness, lying against this skin of her stomach. Instinctively, she softly wrapped her hand around the length. As she did so, a white hot shot of pleasure coursed through her body and she could not help but to groan.

"Ah!" she panted as she gripped the arousal tighter and felt it harden more at the sound of Will's voice coming from her mouth. "Jesus Christ, yesss," she knew that such blasphemy was unladylike, but who was going to find out, and hearing Will curse in pleasure only made hers more heated.

She pumped her hand tighter and tighter around Will's cock and felt the swell of pleasure grow inside her. She threw her head back and gave an almighty moan as her hand pumped faster; the roughness of Will's callouses causing her eyes to cross with arousal.

She gripped the length tighter and tighter, unrelenting to the waves of pleasure which were about to crash over her. Her hand was becoming slightly sticky with small drops of liquid, slicking her hand to go even faster. She was just about to let go when-

She was interrupted by a knock at the door. Tessa frantically searched for something to cover herself with, not wanting to embarrass Will. "Just a moment," she gritted out, unconvincingly trying to find something to hide under and failing.

The door swung open without hesitation to reveal a bedraggled Jem. Tessa gasped, beyond embarrassed and finally found a small knee blanket under her chair to cover herself with.

"Interesting," Jem smirked, coming to sit opposite her. Dressed in his pyjamas he was still revealing quite an amount of skin as most of the buttons of his shirt were open.

"Uh, I was, just, no- I was, well," Tessa was trying to find a way out of her situation, but it was clear from the look on Jem's face that he knew full well what was happening.

"Oh do shut up Will. I've seen you do it before," he said casually as he crossed his legs.

"You have!" Tessa spluttered, turning bright red and clutching the blanket closer to her being. Jem and Will! What if someone found out! How is this possible? She struggled with inner monologue.

Jem raised an eyebrow. "Of course I have. How could you forget those hours we spent together?" As usual, Jem's voice gave nothing away to how he was really feeling.

Tessa was lost for words. Hours!

"Well?" Jem probed.

She shifted in her seat. "Well what?" Tessa asked nervously.

"Well," he said, his muscular arms propelling him from his chair. Jem sauntered over to her and placed his hands on the arms of her chair and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I could always help to remind you," he murmured in a husky voice, his lips brushing her ear.

On the exterior, Tessa froze. On the interior, she positively melted in Jem's arms. She let out a shuddering breath, not knowing how long she had been holding it for.

He cupped her chin in his warm hand and kissed his way from her ear to her jaw. In every place Jem's lips touched she felt her skin burn with desire after. He locked eyes with her.

"You know you want this, Will," he whispered against her lips, his breath sending jolts of shivers across her body.

The kiss began slowly, burning her insides with desire. But this time it was different. She was seeing the parabatai side of Jem, the side that had shared everything with his blood brother Will.

The kiss deepened and Tessa let herself go, slanting her head back and giving Jem access to her mouth. She reached to pull him closer and felt Jem's skin beneath Will's rough hands. As she bit playfully on his lip, his hands slipped from her face and ran down her bare chest.

Jem's tongue continued to stroke and explore her mouth with a slow pace that left her panting.

"Jem, Jem please," she gasped and heard her voice as Will's, deep and wanting.

He chuckled against her mouth. "Begging? From you Will? You really must want this then," Jem whispered tugging at the blanket that covered her arousal.

Tessa gasped again as she felt the blanket fall away. "Should we be doing this?" she asked shyly, yet her hands found their way into Jem's hair.

He grasped Will's cock tightly in one hand, his thin musical fingers lightly stroking up and down her arousal causing Tessa's eyes to roll back and her head to drop against the chair.

"You have never said no before," Jem murmured, kissing softly at her exposed neck.

Jem's skilled fingers gripped at her renewed arousal and tugged gently, his warm fingers making her groan.

"Ah Christ, Jem," she mewled as his wrist flicked and turned, caressing her softly with a sense of urgency.

She felt something building on her insides spreading a heat through her limbs. She pulled his mouth back to hers, grinding her hips into his hand.

Jem's hand pumped her now hurriedly, causing the nerves in her body to spark and her lip to tremble with need.

Tessa fisted his hair in her hands needing him as close as possible. Jem gasped softly then chuckled.

"Not too rough Will, remember last time? Jessie almost saw the marks I left on you," his voice gentle as always, yet carrying a sense of darkness.

He switched between speeds, his hand pulling roughly, then touching her so lightly that the lightest touch would leave her panting.

"Please," she shuddered out, Will's voice thick with longing and lust.

Jem squeezed her tightly once more and she felt her body explode with pleasure. "Oh, oh Jem, yes," she moaned as wave after wave of elation crashed over her.

He pressed one last kiss to her lips, lingering and soft before resting his forehead against hers. With his clean hand, Jem pulled a handkerchief from his pyjama bottoms and made her presentable.

"Always prepared, are we?" Tessa chuckled, feeling sated and boneless.

"You know I am," Jem replied with a smirk. "My preparedness has kept you alive more times than you know," he added, tossing the handkerchief in the flames. "Wouldn't want poor Sophie trying to wash that now, would we?"

She smiled again feeling terribly tired. "Heav- I mean, by Angel no," she covered quickly, remembering she was supposed to be Will.

Jem glanced at her sideways, "Well, I am off to bed then," he yawned.

"Are you, okay?" asked Tessa, not being able to ask if he needed the favour returned. By the looks of his bulging pyjama pants it wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"Tip top, as they say," he returned reaching the door. "Now cover yourself up before Charlotte finds you like she did last time," he ordered with a smile. "Goodnight William."

"Goodnight James," she called after him as he closed the door.

Well, she thought. I certainly was not expecting that.

Jem followed the halls lit softly by witchlight to his room, utilising his Shadowhunter training to move silently.

He paused outside Tessa's door, tempted to check if she was sleeping peacefully. He had developed some feelings for her, with her sweet nature and beautiful eyes.

He looked down at his erection. Possibly not then Carstairs, he thought to himself turning back to his room.

Closing the door softly behind him, he felt a presence in the room with him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up for a moment, and then he felt through his parabatai bond that it was merely Will sitting on the trunk at the end of his bed.

"How on Earth did you beat me back here?" Jem grinned.

"What are you talking about? I have been waiting here for at least a half hour," Will said, his eyes revealing that he was not in the mood for games.

"What are you talking about? We were just in the library."

Will's eyes travelled down Jem's frame and lingered on his obvious arousal. "Were you having a dream about us in the library?" he smirked.

"No William I was not having a dream about us, it was bona fide, and I do not have time for games. I am tired and I am going to bed."

"Well where have you been?" Will's eyes followed Jem as he settled beneath the sheets.

"I have told you, we have been in the library doing things we should not have been doing, but you were struggling so I helped you out."

"I have no idea what you are talking about! I have been sitting here; you can't have been with me."

"Well if I wasn't with you then who-" Jem paled as his eyes drifted to the door. "Christ no," he swore, leaping out of bed.

Will, confused and annoyed followed Jem as he tore through his room across the hall to Tessa's door.

"James I don't think you should burst in unannounced-"

"She isn't in there, I know it," he snarled, nearly ripping the door off its hinges. They both looked immediately for Tessa, but the room was empty.

"Well done, the room is empty. She might have gone for a walk, what have you gotten so worked up about?"

Jem turned slowly, running a hand through his silver hair. "It's Tessa."

"What about her?" Will asked nonchalantly, stoically keeping any feelings for her out of his voice and expression.

Jem looked faint. "I think, well. I think she may have Changed."

"Into…?" Will pressed.

"You. For the last half hour."

Will's jaw dropped. His eyes widened. He could not believe it. Before he knew it, he was hurtling down through the halls faster than he had ever run before. He glanced to his right and surely Jem was keeping up behind him.

And they had arrived at the library doors.

The amount of energy that Tessa had exerted during that Change surmounted to more effort she had ever put into any Change in her life.

With a smile still plastered to her face she slid off the armchair and wrapped the blanket around her. Knowing that no one would return to the library for some hours, she returned to the chair with her legs tucked beneath her, Will's jacket fastened over her bare skin and Pride and Prejudice reading to resume reading before Jem had made an appearance.

She was just turning a page when the doors suddenly burst open revealing a flustered Jem and an infuriated Will.

Oh dear, she thought.

So, that is the end of that chapter and if you want more, all you have to do is ask. Prepare for some serious threesome. Read and review. Love the love.