Turn that Frown Upside Down

or

An Adventure in Being SAD

The Hokage just stared at Jiraiya. Jiraiya personally hated that blank stare, it usually meant bad things for Jiraiya.

"You're sure?" Sarutobi finally asked.

"Yes. The other villages are prepping for war within the next five years by training war based genin squads. No psuedo-free response teams, but tried and true war teams."

Jiriaya sweat dropped as the Hokage palmed his face with a sigh.

"So you're telling me I should re-arrange all the teams, which have been arranged for -years,- and re-assign senseis to prepare for a coming war?"

"I'm suggesting it?" Jiraiya didn't know where this was going.

Sarutobi began rubbing his temples. The sheer amount of paperwork this was going to be.

"Any other suggestions then?"

Jiraiya pulled the file from this years academy class. He reviwed it briefly, secretly glad to see Naruto had graduated, even if the note said it had been unusual. He would have to pass on some of his mother's clan techniques, espescially if... Yes, there was an Inuzaka and an Aburame graduating.

"Aburame, Inuzaka, Uzumaki... With probably Anko-chan. She would be the best trained in SAD ops, wouldn't she?" Jiraiya posed to Sarutobi.

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow at his only loyal student.

"A terror squad? You are asking me to mould children into terrorists?"

Jiraiya shrugged.

"Their clans already have the reputation, and I'm geussing these two," Jiraiya gestured to Kiba and Shino, "Already have quite a bit of ground work in that direction. And word on the street is that Naruto is an unholy terror when it comes to pranks. Might as well channel that talent effectively."

With a sigh, Sarutobi looked out the window. Ineed, all three clans had a reputation for terror. While ninja clans feared or hated clans like the Uchiha and the Hyuuga, the civillian populace told stories of bogeymen coming from the more populous but less 'noble' ninja clans.

During the clan wars, a young Inuzaka civillian merchant had been passing through Grass Country. She had been ambushed by the second son of the Grass Damiyo and raped repeatedly by him and his men. All of her dogs had been killed and her wares destroyed. She managed to stumble back to where the clan compound had been at the time, and, with her dying breath, name her attacker.

The Inuzaka had been rabid. Luckily, the clan matriarch at the time had a cool head, until the Damiyo refused to hand over his son for retribution. Then it was a personal clan war against Grass.

Every child in Grass under the age of 5 had been stolen in the night, and the Inuzaka made damn sure everyone knew it was them. One of the children had been cut on his cheek and sent into town with a note.

'Give us who we want or they all die.'

Needless to say the population, including the Nobles who hadn't been spared, of Grass had almost revolted. The Damiyo then quickly turned over his second son, and mysteriously, every child was placed back into their beds as if they hadn't been gone. Except every child had a cut somewhere on their body.

'We could have. And there is nothing you could have done,' was the implied statement.

To be an Inuzaka in Grass was to be feared and reviled.

The Aburame weren't so kind. But then again they had a mission to do what they did. Wipe out the small city on the border of Fire and River. No one is sure how they did it, but within a week the city was a ghost town. Except for the Aburame, who made a point to let all the merchant passerbys know who it was who killed every man, woman, and child, down to their dogs and cats, in the city.

Every single skeleton had been left where they had died, stripped of all flesh. According to local legend, the place was haunted and the skeletons would rise up and begin supernatural wailing of: 'GET THESE BUGS OFF ME!'

But the Uzumaki, feared by the ninja villages and clans for their skills in fuinjutsu, had killed a Damiyo and many, many civillians.

Uzushiogakure was founded on land drenched in blood. The then Damiyo of Whirpool Country had refused to let the Uzumaki settle in the least habitable portion of his lands. The Uzumaki had made generous offers, just for a place out of the way and barely farmable and very distant from any of the fishing lanes. Still the Damiyo refused.

During the Damiyo's birthday parade, the Uzumaki leveled the city. Leveled it. There were no ruins, only dust. Not very many people had survived, but those who did owed their lives to the Uzumaki who rescued and healed the injured. They had been saved for the sole purpose of letting everyone know what had happened.

Then the Uzumaki ruled all of Whirlpool Country from the seat of Uzushiogakure. What was left of the civillian populace came to love the Uzumaki. They were fair and just in matters of dispute, but the laws were draconian. To break the law was to betray the clan. A trial was held, but if found guilty the sentence was always death.

The other Damiyo were not pleased. And they ordered their villiages to remove the Uzumaki as soon as their eradication could be completed.

Even in Ninja villiages these three clans were among the most feared and hated by any civillian.

To unleash these terrors once again was a heavy descsion.

Sarutobi made his choice.

X

One Uzumaki Naruto walked into the classroom, head held high, and made his way to his favourite seat.

"Oi, Naruto," came Shikamaur's voice, "This place is only for graduates."

Naruto just stared at Shikamaru. For about thirty seconds or so they stared. Ignoring the screeching of Sakura and Ino as they fought over the seat next to Sasuke. Slowly, Naruto raised his closed fist and extended his middle finger when it had reached the point where it could both point out his headband and flip off Shikamaru.

"Oh, well, congratulations then."

Naruto smiled brightly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Thanks, Shikamaru."

"Oi, Naruto," Kiba called out, "How'd ya manage it? Though, it really makes you Dead Last."

Kiba smiled a cheeky smile, just trying to get under his comrades skin.

"Choke on a dick, Kiba-chan, fucking cunt," Naruto said jovially, "I can't say. Classified, but legit, yanno?"

Kiba nodded and smacked the chair next to him.

"You waitin' for a written invitation, cum guzzler?"

With a bit of hip swing, Naruto walked over and 'fawned' on Kiba as he sat down.

"Nope, just waiting for you to whip it out."

"Oh, Naruto..." Kiba murmured, yet managed to catch the attention of ever female in the room. The two slowly closed their eyes and began to move in for a beautiful kiss. Hinata was hyperventilating. Naruto and Kiba! If only she could get between them! The rest of the girls began to drool, even Sakura and Ino, as their very dirty minds went to very dirty places.

"FUCK, I CAN'T DO IT!" Kiba screamed as he slammed his fist on the desk and looked away.

"Ha! I am the King of Gay Chicken!" Naruto yelled as he got up on the desk and started dancing as 'sexy' victory dance, thrusting his pelvis at Kiba. A guy in the row lower stood up and bumped into Naruto sending him forward. He caught himself on the desk above Kiba and...

Something was very wrong. Those blue eyes weren't his. That blonde hair was a bit paler than his. His lips were touching something. And-

"FUCK, OH DEAR SWEET KAMI!" Naruto screamed as he tumbled down several rows of desks crashing into several people as he craddled his now injured crotch.

"DON'T YOU EVER PUT THAT ANYWHERE NEAR MY FACE AGAIN!" Kiba yelled down to the whimpering blonde.

Kiba had punched him right in the dick. Right in the dick.

Naruto, far more worried about his precious body part, Kiba, and everyone else laughing at the poor blonde never noticed Ino touching her lips slightly. Even Sakura forgot to rub it in her face as she laughed cruelly, and far louder than anyone else, at the boy who crushed on her.

'Sakura is really pretty,' the thought fluttered through Naruto's thoughts, 'but what a cunt.'

"SETTLE DOWN!" came Umino Iruka's voice, enhanced by his demon head technique, "You alright, Naruto?"

"Yup," floated up Naruto's voice, "just got punched in the dick. I'm gonna stay here."

Oh how Hinata wanted to go tend to his injury. And then maybe he would demand she remove her clothes, and she would. But reluctantly! And then he would use her jacket to tie her arms... Hinata almost exploded from the blood pressure.

".. Team 7, under Hatake Kakashi-sensei: Hyuuga Hinata, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke..."

The piercing howl of victory from Sakura caused everyone to cover their ears, except Naruto. He just whimpered more.

"... Team 8, under Mitarashi Anko-sensei-"

A loud crash was heard and out of nowhere a banner appeared. It read: 'Super-sexy Anko-Sensei!' and underneath was a chibi-purple haired face with yellow eyes, as well as chibi-Naurto, Kiba and Shino faces. Under that was a woman in a long brown trench coat, fishnets, shin guards, and a skirt. It was a nice skirt. Perhaps a little shorter than what most would wear, but very few people found out it was really a skort. Half skirt, half shorts.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzaka Kiba, and Aburame Shino, COME ON DOWN!" she yelled.

Slowly, and wobbly Naruto stood up and hobbled to his, what he assumed to be, new sensei. Kiba laughed like a madman as he and Akumaru descneded the stairs. Shino, in the quiet reserved way of the Aburame, followed.

The purple haired woman frowned and turned to Iruka.

"'Ruka-kun, what's wrong with him?" she pointed to Naruto.

"Punched in the dick," the man said with a straight face.

"Oh? Then-" Anko began a sly smile forming on her face.

WHIP! CRACK!

"INUKAMI'S CHEWTOY!" Kiba yelled as he fell to the ground and violently vomited once, "EVEN! EVEN!"

"Good," Naruto mumbled before he turned to his sensei, "Mitarashi-sensei, right?"

Anko smiled. At least two of them were already on the path of true brutality and visciousness. She like these two. A wheezing sound eminated from Kiba.

"Fuck you, Shino..."

The Aburame was standing on Kiba's chest as if nothing was wrong. Anko's smile broke into a psychotic grin. She LOVED THESE GUYS!

"I would not allow you to fuck me. Why? Because I am not homosexual like yourself."

"C'mon, ANKO'S AWESOME TEAM! TO TRAINING GROUND 42!" and with that Anko was away!

Naruto motioned Shino off Kiba and the two of them hoisted the whimpering boy into a hobble position and dragged his feet right through his own puke pile. It was the start of a beautiful career for Anko's Awesome Team.

The rest of the class stared in silence. Strangely, it was Sasuke who broke the silence.

"Dafuq did I just watch?"

Iruka cleared his throat.

"Team 9 is still in circulation. Team 10, under Sarutobi Asuma-sensei: Akimichi Choji, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanka Ino."

X

In the brief moment their lips touched, Ino felt a fire burst into flame. Unlike when she thought of Sasuke, there was no need to stoke the flames, as it were. Instantly, she had been aroused- emotionally, at the least- by her fellow blonde. She narrowed her eyes at Sakura slightly, then at Hinata. She was going to get Naruto out from under Sakura's thumb and before Hinata. Just had to get Daddy's approval.

Ino sighed. That was never going to happen.

X

A/N: I don't own diddly. And this is the first time in a long while I've posted anything. I just had to get this out of my brain. And it looks like I might start writing again. I want to update RHaRB and Belladonna, but haven't written anything for them yet. I'm also about to start a new D&D campaign and am thinking about including that as a story.

Anyways, pl0x review, or in the form of a review ask a question. I may not answer you directly. Instead I may just answer any questions in story format. Or in another A/N.

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