After waiting 3 years, here is an update! I will finish all my stories. Expect regular updates and new stories :)

When I see Alex again, I can tell the meeting didn't go well. Her stride is quick and purposeful and she wears a scowl etched across her beautiful face.

I stand and don't even get to ask what happened. She puts her hand in the small of my back and says, "Let's go, Casey," leaving no room for argument.

I don't ask what happened until we get to the car. Alex slams her door in response, the scowl still present on her face.

"He wants to make an example out of you," she rushes out. "That the DA's office doesn't give special favors."

For a moment I actually feel sorry for Jack McCoy. The wrath that Alex must have brought down on him was no doubt monumental. When she doesn't get her way she can be quite pissy. And for some reason she is extremely protective of me.

I swallow harshly. "It's ok, Alex. I'm willing to face up to what I did like anyone else. Like you said, we just have to prove she was abusive."

Alex looks at me with unshed tears in her eyes. She manages a small smile but I can tell she is doubting herself now. She reaches out and tenderly brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You don't need to worry. I've got this, okay?"

She takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. Her whole demeanor has changed since her meeting with McCoy, and not for the better.

This woman is amazing. Absolutely amazing. Even if she can't help me, I appreciate her trying more than words could ever express.

I look at Alex as she starts the car. I see the concentration on her face, but it has nothing to do with focusing on driving. I see the worry behind her black rimmed glasses, in her beautiful blue eyes. And I can see what this costing her. Unnecessary stress that she doesn't need in her life right now.

I think I love this woman. I never thought I would feel that emotion again; never thought anyone could invoke those feelings in me. Never thought anyone would truly care about me.

But Alex does.

I know I can't let her put herself through this. I can't let her jeopardize her career for a stupid mistake I made. I lean back in my seat and don't say a word, but I know what I have to do.

Alex is very quiet the rest of the day. We don't talk about what's ahead; we just relax and try to watch a movie.

I'm seated on one end of the couch with a pillow in my lap, and Alex is seated on the other end, propping herself up with her elbow and staring intently at the TV. I don't believe she is actually watching the movie though. Her mind is elsewhere.

"Alex?" I venture gently.

She turns and looks at me, forcing a smile. "Yeah, Case?"

"Don't even worry about McCoy."

She smiles. "I'm not, honey. I'm sorry I seem distracted. I've got a lot on my mind." She grabs the remote off the coffee table. "Are you watching this?"

I shake my head. "Not really."

Alex turns the TV off and stands up with a sigh. "Do you...want to go to bed?"

I stiffen at her suggestion. What does she mean 'go to bed'? Does she mean go to sleep? Or go to her bed?

"Do you mean...you want..." I stutter, not wanting to sound forward but also not wanting to miss out on the opportunity. My heart is beating so quickly I feel like it might burst out of my chest.

Alex shakes her head. "We don't have to do anything. We can just lay next to each other."

I realize at this moment that maybe Alex needs this as much as I do. I've been so focused on myself all this time that I never stopped to think that maybe Alex is lonely too. Maybe she needs someone who cares about her just as much as she cares about me.

We both dress for bed and then I make my way to Alex's room tentatively. I'm nervous; what if I say or do the wrong thing? I don't want to jump into anything too quickly. And Alex has never been with a woman. We both need to tread lightly.

Alex gets in bed first and I stand there dumbly like a child awaiting instructions until she invites me to lie down and switches off the bedside lamp. The room is bathed in darkness, the only light coming from the closed window blinds.

I lie down a good distance from Alex, not sure how close I should be or how close Alex wants me to be. I feel her slide closer to me and my body involuntary relaxes.

"Are you in pain tonight? Did you take your pain meds?"

My ribs do hurt a little tonight but it's nothing I can't handle. "I'm okay - really. Just tired."

I shouldn't have said that. What do I have to be tired from?

Alex is right next to me now, and she gently reaches out and starts to stroke my hair. The gesture instantly calms me, and any nervousness I had just melts away. I lean into her touch like it's a lifeline. So this is what it feels like to be touched by someone who cares about you. Someone who doesn't want to hurt you.

I can't hold back any longer - I burst into tears. Alex immediately slides away from me, frightened she did something wrong. "I'm sorry, Casey. It's too soon - I didn't mean to make you feel - "

I shake my head even though Alex can't see it in the darkness. Without hesitation I wrap my arms around her and hold her as tightly as I can, sobbing into her nightshirt. She relaxes against me and hugs me back, rubbing small circles on my back.

We stay this way for several minutes before either of us speak. I think we both need the comfort and security.

"Did Rebecca ever hold you?" Alex asks as I pull away from her. She holds my hand to keep contact with me. "Did she ever treat you good at all?"

"At first," I tell her. "When we first starting dating. Then she just...got cruel. She would never touch me except to hurt me." My voice hitches in my throat and Alex squeezes my hand to give me strength. "And in bed she would just tell me how disappointing I was to her. She wanted to go on vacations and have nice things. Wasn't likely coming with me. She was stuck with me and a freezer that wouldn't make ice."

Alex squeezes my hand. "Don't make excuses for her. You didn't deserve any of that. If those were the things she prioritized she was never worth your time and certainly not worth the pain she caused you."

My mind instantly turns over to Rebecca laying unconscious on the floor and my stomach lurches. For awhile I had forgotten; for awhile I was thinking of Alex and the possibility of a future.

I squeeze my eyes closed and force the the thoughts from my mind. No, I won't do this to myself right now. There is time to think about what I did and what I am facing.

And that time is not now. Now is the time to enjoy what Alex is giving me right now, at this moment. The incredible way she's making me feel. She grabs me and pulls me close to her, and I rest my head on her chest. She's stroking my hair again and this time caresses my cheek. A warm wave flows through me when she touches me. I never knew it was possible to feel this way.

"I think the world of you," Alex whispers in my ear.

I don't last much longer. Within minutes I'm asleep in Alex's arms, feeling safe and valued for the first time in a long time.

I've been in arraignment court more times than I can count. I know the process inside and out. It's pretty straightforward and easy and if you know what to expect going in you are usually not disappointed.

Alex is talking to me like I've never been through this process before.

"Alex! I know how it works. Granted from the other side, but still. I'm not an idiot. I'm fine; stop fretting."

Alex ignores what I've just said and rambles on. "We will get the care dismissed before it goes to trial, don't worry."

I'm not worried; not in the least. I know what I have to do.

Alex insists on representing me. She goes through the usual preparation and it takes less than a half hour for my name to be called. Alex is strictly professional, switching into lawyer mode so easily I swear she was born with a briefcase in her hand and a suit on. She speaks purposefully and so sure of herself. She's actually intimidating. I can understand why so many of her colleagues are afraid of her.

I sit in silence and watch Alex in amazement until I'm called to enter my plea. Alex turns and looks at me, expecting the series of events we have been talking about for two days.

I stand up. I'm sorry, Alex, I say to myself. But I have to do this.

I draw a deep breath and say, "I plead guilty your honor."