Authors Note: After this update, I'm on my way to Disney World. Woot!

~Natty

On the mountain. [Still on the trail.]

"…C-come on Perry the Platypus, let's— I swear I didn't mean for that rock to hit you! You gotta believe me!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz pleaded but his nemesis just stalked closer to him. To the doctor, the mammal was a threat on his life right now. He knew full well what that small platypus could do to him if it was provoked enough.

He remembered news going around, some time ago about an agent killing a scientist. It was the first time ever that something like that happened. The news spread around L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. like wildfire and became the main topic over anything else they had planned to go through in one of their scheduled meetings. It was pretty much just gossip; nothing prearranged or factual was said. They began talking about new projects but it was only fifteen minutes later that what was on everyone's mind was mentioned. 'Did you hear about that agent that killed that scientist last week?'

Then that became what the scientists talked about for the remainder of the meeting and maybe an hour after that. He ended up staying throughout that whole meeting and two hours after. He was in shock, and a little disturbed. They could do that? He thought to himself over and over. If there was no other way then an agent can actually kill a scientist to stop them from taking over or winning whatever they were trying to accomplish that day? Where did that leave him? Would Perry the Platypus— No, he tried to tell himself. Perry would never…really hurt him…would he?

He thought he knew the platypus well, didn't he? Or did he not know much at all? He heard of a scientist killing an agent, but most of the time it was accidental, never really intentional. The agent would be in the wrong place, something would fall or blast or give way under the animal and that was usually what happened with an event like that.

But an agent killing a scientist…and on purpose? The thought terrified him.

It took him a while to get over it, and soon he did start reestablishing with Perry the Platypus. The gossip eventually died down and everyone soon forgot what happened, growing tired of the new trend of talking about it. It died away just like everything else publicized and spread around. Eventually no one cares anymore and people get over it.

Until now, three years later, that all those thoughts and feelings of helplessness, terror, and anguish came back to him. It all rushed back to him, stronger and fresher than ever before.

He panicked, he really did. There was a branch sticking out not too far from his left and he seized it quickly, swinging it back and knocking the platypus off its feet.

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeeeeeeeeeeeed! [After hours…]

"Are you sure that's him?" Isabella asked.

"I'm positive, Isabella! That's him! That's Perry!" Phineas pointed at the picture in the photo album of the man whose house they broke into and their pet platypus who was wearing a hat.

"But why is he wearing a hat?"

"I don't know, but it sure does make him look sophisticated. Don't you think so Ferb?"

Ferb took the photo album and looked closer, then nodded. "He looks very smart."

"And happy." Isabella added.

"Happy?" Phineas asked.

Isabella moved to show him what she meant. "Yeah, see? They're smiling, they look happy together. It's the same way I look at you when I-"

"Hold that thought!" Phineas ordered and looked at the obvious smile on his pet's face in the picture. "That's not a smile."

"What do you mean?" Isabella folded her arms. "Of course that's a smile."

"No…it's some type of sign."

"Phineas, maybe that car hit you harder than we thought."

"No Isabella, I'm not disturbed, don't you see? The smile is forced! Look at it!"

Isabella looked at it and shrugged. "I guess the smile does look kind of off but he's just a platypus, they don't smile much."

"This guy, whoever he is, kidnapped him! And he's some type of sicko who preys on platypi and makes them dress up and take demented photos with him! It all makes sense!" Phineas exclaimed.

"That actually doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah it does! This is why Perry always disappears every day! Our poor little platypus is minding his own business and this guy probably snatches him up every morning and brings him back in the afternoon! That's why Perry comes home all weird."

"Weird?" Isabella inquired.

"This one time he came home covered in lipstick and this other time he was scratched up real bad! The guy is a psychopath! And he got tired of sharing Perry with us so he kidnapped him and left for good! Come on, I can't be the only one who's made sense of this! It all connects!"

"I guess it kind of makes sense if you squint at it…" Isabella admitted.

"Exactly! And this guy probably has Pinky too! Does Pinky ever come home…different?"

"Well…now that you mention it, I did find Pinky trapped in a garbage can. He rolled home in it, and he also most of the time comes home smelling like perfume and hair products."

"It connects!" Phineas said, holding up the album. "Look at these long, gorgeous, cocoa brown locks! The dude must use some kind of fruity shampoo! His voice probably sounds girly too! All high and girlish! Blech!"

Isabella put her hands on her hips. "And what's wrong with high girl voices?"

"Nothing Isabella, I love your voice. It's amazing…just like your soul. I want to marry your soul Isabella Garcia-Shapiro." Phineas declared and stood firmly on top of a mountain surrounded by heart clouds and rainbow ponies.. "Together we'll become one amazing soul! We will be one! Huzzah!" Phineas cried in victory.

Isabella snapped out of her trance when Ferb nudged her. She blinked as she was pulled back into reality, listening to Phineas continue to bash the guy in the picture. "Phineas land again." She glared at Ferb. "I know, I know." She sighed.

Ferb pat her on the back.

"I just wish he'd notice me…"

"…and his stupid blue eyes! Who has blues eyes anymore? What is this, the 1980's?!" Phineas ranted. "Oh and I bet he-"

Isabella blinked. "You sure dislike this guy a lot for someone who's never met him."

"I just don't like him. I have this strange feeling and whenever I think about him or try to picture him, my head starts to hurt."

"That's odd, but you can't just hate someone you've never even met."

"That's the thing." Phineas replied to her. "For some reason I feel like I have. I know it's crazy, but I feel like I hate a part of him."

"A part of him? Phineas, what are you talking about?"

"I…feel like I hate a dark part of him. One covered in complete blackness and is half blind to the world."

"You still can't just automatically decide that you hate someone. That's not really fair."

"He's a pet-napper, Isabella!"

"I know, but you have to consider that—"

"Remember when both Perry and Pinky were missing for more than a week?" Phineas rushed out, desperate.

"Yeah, I remember that. It was last summer, around this same time. That is kind of a coincidence…" Isabella confessed.

"It's settled then!" Phineas snapped the album shut. "Whoever this guy is, he is the answer to why our pets always disappear. There's absolutely no other way to go here. We have to go after him if we want answers. He knows where they are, you guys."

Isabella would always be devoted to Phineas, but that didn't mean she didn't have her doubts. "But we don't even know where he went. It looked like he left in a hurry though, all the drawers are rummaged through and opened. Maybe something tipped him off that we were looking for our pets."

"I don't think that's the case." Ferb said, coming back over to them. "Look at this."

Phineas took the strip of paper being handed to him and Isabella took the other one.

"What's this?" Isabella asked. "It looks like some sort of admissions ticket."

"That's it!" Phineas shouted, excitedly.

"What's it?"

"This is where he went! These are admission tickets to a coach bus and the number's on the back! We can call and request a ride and then go from there!" Phineas said and headed towards the door. "Come on!"

"Wait Phineas." Isabella stopped him. "We can't go now. It's too late, it's past dark."

"But we can't just give up!"

"We aren't going to. We just have to rest up and get an early start tomorrow."

"But…" Phineas protested and picked up the tracking device, staring at it pitifully.

"Ferb, go see if you can find some blankets." Isabella instructed and the man of action went off. "I'll set up a place on the floor for us."

Phineas toyed with the mechanisms of the device in his hands. "I don't understand. I thought we'd find him here. The tracker on the locket clearly states that it's that way." He pointed towards a nearby dresser.

Isabella thought and opened the dresser drawer, pulling out what she found, a locket with a platypus foot collar. The collar beeped lowly before she clicked it off, solemnly handing it to Phineas. She offered a small smile but he didn't return it in the least.

Ferb came back with the blankets and some pillows and Isabella helped him set them out. Soon the three children were on the floor, going to sleep. In truth, none of them were sleeping yet with too much on their minds to actually allow them to drift off. Isabella thought of Pinky until she finally nodded off, and sleep came easier to Ferb who took it with satisfaction. Phineas was the last to close his eyes. He clutched the locket in the dim, moonlit room. He whimpered scarcely, feeling alone.

"Perry, where are you boy?"

[On the road….literally.]

"I hope all of you are equally happy!" Rodrigo glared. "Now we have no car of use to us!"

"If only the car was intact again, we wouldn't make the mistake of wrecking it a second time." Mitch nodded.

Rodrigo paced in the middle of the street. "Well it won't be! It is completely ruined and I did not even get the insurance!"

"What kind of idiot doesn't get insurance on a car?" Khaka Peü Peü asked.

"Shut up!" Rodrigo yelled. "Just shut up! I was going to get the insurance after we came back from the ski mountain! The car was not supposed to explode! I did not plan on this happening!"

"You should plan for everything." Khaka Peü Peü suggested. "You never know what could happen."

"How could I plan for everything if I did not even know something resembling this would even come close to happening?! My mother bought me this car! What do I say to her about this?"

"STOP BEING A BABY. REAL VILLAINS DON'T NEED CARS TO GET WHERE THEY WANT TO GO." The Regurgitator told them.

Rodrigo rolled his eyes. "And some villain you are. You wear the spandex. What type of villain wears spandex?"

"Hey!" Khaka Peü Peü shouted in his own defense.

"Ha!" Mitch laughed.

Khaka Peü Peü glared at the alien and pointed. "You're wearing spandex too!"

Mitch looked down and frowned. "This is spandex?"

Khaka Peü Peü nodded.

Mitch growled. "That cute little scoundrel lied to me! CURSE YOU MEAP! CURSE YOU, YOU ADORABLE LITTLE DEMON!"

"Ha ha ha" Khaka teased. "Sounds like you have a crush on the thing."

"I do not! He's just adorable, that's his nature!"

"Do you two make out after he foils your schemes?" Khaka Peü Peü made a kissy face. "Kissy, kissy, kissy-YOUCH!" He scowled and rubbed the back of his head. "Watch where you're swinging those big boxing gloves!"

"They're not boxing gloves!" Mitch argued, staring at his fist. "They are specifically made fabric placed over my hands to-Hey!"

Khaka Peü Peü pulled the aliens cape over its head and yanked so that Mitch fell on the ground, then he pointed and laughed at him.

Rodrigo growled. "How is it I got stuck with the three of you? You are all useless!"

"We're not useless." Khaka Peü Peü argued. "You just never bothered to ask what we could do. You don't believe in us at all, never even gave us a chance. I bet we could accomplish a lot if you just give us a chance to prove ourselves."

"The last time I gave you idiots a chance, you destroyed my car." Rodrigo said. "So now we're doing things a different way. Just follow me and do whatever it is I do, that way you know you can't go wrong."

"So…like follow the leader?" Khaka Peü Peü asked.

"Excellent! Yes! Just like follow the leader! Just follow me!" Rodrigo grinned and started walking down the road.

The Regurgitator, Mitch, and Khaka Peü Peü, just blinked as the teen started walking away from them.

"I SAID FOLLOW ME!" Rodrigo screamed. "What the heck is wrong with—"

"PLOW!"

[Flynn-Fletcher Residence.]

Stacy struggled to climb up the gutter on the side of the house. She seriously made a mental note to stop answering Candace's late-night crazy calls. After nearly falling and dangling from the selected windowsill, she reached up to knock on the window.

The window opened and she was mercilessly pulled in and thrown to the floor, albeit it was carpeted she still hit her head on a pink dresser. "Ow!"

"You made it!" Candace cheered. "And what took you so long? You were supposed to be here sooner. So much for always being there for me!"

Stacy groaned and picked herself up from the floor. "Sorry. Normally I get more than a half hour notice before I have to sneak out of my house after curfew and rush over to break into someone else's as fast as I can."

"Huh…well you still should have called and said you were running late!"

"Candace, I'm here okay? What was so important that I had to risk a possible life grounding?"

"My mom didn't believe me!"

"Seriously? I had to fake being horribly sick, make disgusting vomit noises and tell my mom I was quarantining myself in my room for the rest of the night for this? Doesn't she not believe you every day? This isn't anything new!"

"But this time is different, Stacy! My brothers are missing and they dragged an innocent girl into it! They're evil, Stace! Pure evil!"

"Your brothers and their friend are missing and all you can come up with is that they're evil?"

"I know this is all their fault! They planned this!"

"Planned what?" Stacy asked. "They planned to just take off and never come back? I don't think you even understand how serious this whole thing is! Candace, your brothers are MISSING! The girl from across the street that has the insane crush on your brother is MISSING. They're just kids!"

"You sound like my mom! They're just kids, Candace. They aren't capable of anything you're saying, Candace! Why won't anyone believe me?!"

"I don't have to believe you." Stacy told her friend. "I already see what they do. They're capable of some pretty amazing things."

"Exactly—"

"But they're MISSING. Amazing or not, your little brothers are out there somewhere and the only thing you're worried about is busting them. What if someone took them?"

"Who on earth would want to take my brothers?"

"Well let's see…" Stacy started listing on her fingers. "That alien Mitch guy, those other freaky amphibian aliens you told me about that you heard broke out of prison again, that guy whose name sounds like poop-"

"Oh right." Candace blinked. "Those guys."

"Any one of them could and would have the motive to take them."

"Yeah but that does not necessarily mean anything."

"But it does not not necessarily mean anything either."

Candace blinked twice. "That's a double negative."

"Which sort of makes it a positive." Stacy said with a rising of her finger.

"What's positive about any of this?"

"Nothing! But aren't you concerned for your brothers' safety at all?" Stacy shook her by the shoulders.

"Of course I…Oh my gosh! I'm the worst sister ever! Stace, my brothers are MISSING! They're MISSING!"

"I know."

"And you're just standing around like it's nothing!"

"I kno- wait what?"

"This isn't the time to just stand around and do nothing, Stacy!" Candace shook her friend by the shoulders. "We have to help find them! I already know the police aren't going to do anything about it!"

"How do you know that?"

"Have you seen the movie Home Not-together?"

"You mean with that kid Cutlet McCutlet? Yeah, everyone's seen that."

"Then you know what I mean when I tell you that we must take matters into our own hands!"

"Our hands?" Stacy exclaimed. "Candace I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

"In order to find your brothers who disappeared from home and save your family, you want to disappear from home too to go look for them? Won't that just make things worse back here?"

"Not if no one knows we went after them!"

"How are people not going to notice we're missing too?"

"You say you're sleeping over at my house and I'll say I'm sleeping over at your house. It's perfect!"

"That's a horrible idea."

"To you, maybe."

"It'd be a bad idea to anyone that hears it except you."

"And it's a perfect idea to me so that's why we're doing it!"

Stacy sighed. "Fine, I'm in, but only because you're my best friend and if I don't go with you, you'll just go off and do it on your own. Two heads are always better than one."

"Yeah, but we better leave everything to me." Candace said as she walked out into the hallway of her house.

"To you?"

"Just follow me." Candace grinned and kept walking. "I know what I'm doing."

"PLOW!"

Stacy flinched as her friend was knocked off her feet. "I didn't know you guys had a snow plow in your house…"

On the mountain. [On the trail]

"S-Sorry about that back there…" Dr. Doofenshmirtz said nervously as they kept walking. "I sort of…lost my cool for a moment…"

Perry kept his eyes narrowed as they continued on the dirt trail, the cut on his face still stinging from where a tree branch swiped against it. He could have gotten angry. He could have gotten back at the scientist for whacking him into the bushes with that tree branch, but he chose to let it go. The scientist just freaked out, that's all and that was okay. Doof had the right to freak out. They were near death anyway, miles from home, the possibility that they'll never get back home again was pending over them, and someone out there sent wolves to kill them. The wolves could come back so it's best that they saved their energy for survival instead of fighting each other.

So the platypus politely got up from the bushes, picked out the thorns from his tail, snatched the stick from the man and he may or may not have hit him with it a few times before snapping it in half and throwing it away. He was irritated so he didn't recall for sure if he did.

"For the record, you hit me six times as many times as I hit you with it. Eight if you count that after you snapped the stick in half you threw them at me."

The platypus smiled.

Doofenshmirtz saw this and hoping he could get something out of it, went on with talking. "You like punching me in the face, don't you Perry the Platypus?" He teased.

Perry rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Yeaaaaaaah you dooooooo. You do. I know you do." Doof said, and seeing that the platypus was just smiling and it didn't respond. His thoughts reluctantly went back to earlier. "Hey…I really am sorry about whacking you in the face with that stick. I was just afraid, that's all. I shouldn't have been. I know you'd never…you know…do anything to really hurt me…"

The platypus stopped walking abruptly. Hurt him? What was he talking about?

"It's just…Do you remember that thing that happened three years ago?"

Perry shook his head.

"You knooooow…three years ago, that thing happened. Youuuuuu remember."

Perry chattered and growled in annoyance. Obviously saying the same thing he said he didn't remember backwards and whining it wasn't going to help him remember the event the man was referring to.

"Ugh…You know! That thing! The-" Dr. Doofenshmirtz slapped his forehead in frustration and blurted. "Where that agent killed that scientist! Everyone was talking about it! There had to be rules added to both our companies agreements because of it! The thing was real serious apparently! I guess it's okay for a scientist to kill an agent in society, but an agent killing a scientist was dead wrong or something! It was kind of a double standard if you ask me…"

The agent remembered that all too well. It caused a major breach in protocol. The agency was actually greatly affected by it. Sadly it was true, if a human killed an animal it was not nearly as big a deal as if an animal killed a human. Legally the law in the United States was if an animal killed a human, that animal was to be killed, but always humanely of course.

Peter was an idiot. He never calculated the consequences into the equation of any situation. He just did whatever and went whatever way he could get. He thought nothing applied to him, in the panda's world no rules applied to him. Maybe if Peter paid more attention then he would know the difference between right and wrong. If his owners weren't killed prior to this then he would have been a goner at the hands of the legal system. They would have put him to sleep if the agency didn't protect him the way they had. The panda was lucky to even be alive right now and never showed his gratitude once to the company who saved him, he probably didn't even realize this. It made him sick when he thought about it.

The major all but begged the platypus to vouch for the younger and naïve panda. So he did, grudgingly and didn't even get a thank you. In fact, the next day the panda spray painted his locker black and white as a prank.

Peter tried to kill him last year on the last vacation, the last time they were all stranded together.

Yes he knew about that.

No he did not say anything.

He saw the panda and Dennis talking and he saw Peter set up traps for him out in the forest and he watched the panda and Doof have that splash fight.

Yes he was furious when he witnessed it, but he was kind of surprised and completely touched when Doofenshmirtz broke off whatever bond they were making right there and then.

Peter was a fake friend. The panda obviously didn't like him, yet pretended to everyday and hung around him like they were best friends. He didn't really care. When the panda talked to him he usually just stared into its eyes and thought how much it was lying to him and how good and well he knew that the kindness he was being shown was completely fake.

He just wished the panda would pick a side already. You couldn't balance between good and evil. Eventually you were going to fall on the side that pulls you the most.

Perry hoped that whatever the panda was doing right now, that it was doing what it wanted. It didn't matter what he was doing, just that Peter was happy with it and chose it for himself. There really was no other way to do things in life.

[Carl's Cave.]

"Well…I've come to think that…maybe I don't want to be evil…" Peter remembered saying it clear as day, but that didn't explain why everything was getting so fuzzy. Oh yeah, it was because Dennis was choking him. This really wasn't what he wanted to do today! "Dennis…" He croaked out and the hold loosened just the slightest.

"I don't know what I hoped to happen, Pete." Dennis told him, slamming the panda against the cave wall. "I guess I didn't really care what way this went. Either you'd be with me on this or not and I can't tell which I hoped more for. Yeah it sucks that you're going good on me and it hurts a little because I thought we had a connection, but I can survive this. My heart will go on after I make sure yours won't! So it all works out…because I'm going to have fun killing you, Pete."

"Dennis! Where are you?" Carl stalked through the cave until he found the rabbit. "We need to start moving, the snow is— what are you two doing? Quit messing around!"

Dennis clicked his cheeks and nodded towards the panda who was struggling in his hold around its throat.

"Rogue huh? Well I can't say I'm surprised." Carl confessed, walking away from the two of them. "We can't hold dead weight. Dispose of the two agents and then find me. We have some things that need to be taken care of."

Dennis smirked, saluting the intern and running off in the opposite direction with the panda.

[On the trail.]

"Thanks Perry the Platypus, that makes me feel so much better. I knew you wouldn't hurt me before, but I feel better haven talked it out with you and all. Hey, thanks for being such a good listener."

Perry gave a thumbs up and smiled, glad they were able to work this out the way they did. If they weren't enemies then the two of them would be the best of friends, which they pretty much already were anyway. They were close, he thought, but then he heard a noise.

The platypus stopped walking and held the scientist back from going any further.

"What's wrong?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked and the platypus shushed him. He nodded and stayed silent while the mammal went ahead and crept down behind a nearby bush. When his nemesis motioned for him to do the same, he got down on his stomach and army crawled next to him behind the bush.

They stayed quiet for a while until they heard low growls in front of them. Doof gasped and Perry narrowed his eyes, ready to go out there and deal with them. The scientist pulled his nemesis' shoulder back down and shook his head while frantically mouthing the word 'no'.

The platypus rolled his eyes and snatched his shoulder away, sitting back down behind the bush. They watched and they waited.

Two shadows materialized in front of the new found cave in the shape of two wolves. They soon came into view and the two nemeses watched them.

"This is outlandish! We should be available there captivating achievement, not itinerant like dimness moths with no conflagration." Said one of the wolves who spoke like he was reading out of a dictionary.

The female wolf who only spoke wisdom and has the purple tint in her coat, sighed. "Patience is the true virtue."

"This is arduous." The wolf who spoke like he was reading out of a dictionary, grumbled before starting to sniff the air in suspicion. "I pong rather."

Leah, the wisdom speaking wolf, clarified. "You smell something? What is it?"

"Homosapien and Ornithorhynchus."

"You are sure?"

"Confirmatory." The dictionary speaking wolf confirmed and started sniffing out the scent of the human and platypus, getting closer.

As the wolf got closer to them, Heinz whimpered and Perry just waited. The wolf was right in front of their bush now, ready to find them when a yell turned all attention.

"Let go of me!" Terry the Turtle growled and tried to fight off the wolf snagged onto his shell.

The platypus growled at this and Doofenshmirtz was quick to catch on.

"I'm going to assume that you know that guy." Dr. Doofenshmirtz commented.

The wolf that spoke like he was reading from a dictionary, turned away from the bush and joined the other wolves around the captured orange and green agent. "What's the account with this solitary?" He made the mistake of leaning in to close to the turtle and received a kick in the snout, he growled and instructed. "Abode him esoteric by means of the supplementary tosh."

The other wolves followed orders and brought the turtle inside the cave.

"Contract us verve to recreation. We obligate effects to undertake in the pre-lunch."

Leah obliged. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

The two wolves left the scene and now the mouth of the cave was left unguarded. Perry seized his opportunity and hopped over the bushes, running inside.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz sighed and stood, unenthusiastically following his nemesis into the cave. "And just how did I know we would end up entering the ominous looking cave with the deadly wolves that hate me? This is so not what I wanted to do today…"

[Further down the mountain.]

Poofenplotz hated her, whoever she was. How dare that pink covered little girl steal her nemesis away from her! The nerve!

How could Agent Pinky spend his time with someone else besides her? She was the only one allowed to be in the Chihuahua's life! Her and no one else! She would not share the spotlight with some little girl! Especially one who dresses like that. The little wench didn't even come close to deserving the small dog's attention.

She swore on all the beauty products on the world that she'd destroy that little girl and get Pinky the Chihuahua all to herself. She had already worked out a plan.

Obviously she was occupied, planning and scheming this child's fate and all. She hid behind a tree not too far off and watched the wolves leave with everyone else. There was no time for her to be captured by mangy wolves. Really, who had time to waste on a silly thing like that?

[Cave.]

Dennis tossed him in the cage and his body slammed against the bars, the panda slid down and landed with a thump on the floor.

Pinky growled at the panda. "What are YOU doing in here, panda? Don't think that just because I'm on your side now means that I have to sit with you at lunch or share my—"

"Relax." Peter rolled his eyes. "I'm not after your grilled cheese."

"Phew! Well that's a relief!" Pinky sighed, and barked in gratitude. "Thanks!"

"No problem…"

Dennis watched them and cooed as he stood in front of their cage. "Aw…look at you two, all bonding and shit. It's so precious…"

Pinky snarled at him. "You should talk, Mr. Cutie-Patootie."

"WHO TOLD YOU?!" Dennis yelled, realized what he said and groaned. "You see? THIS is why I have to kill all of you. It's because of things like this that I really WANT to."

"Then why don't you just do it?" Peter dared.

Pinky gasped. "You're on our side again?"

"Yeah…" Peter admitted with a modest smile, oddly feeling some sense of pride in saying that. "Yeah, I am."

"It's good to have you back buddy!" Pinky hugged him.

Dennis looked disgusted. "Yes, it's so GREAT that you finally chose sides instead of being an idiotic domino."

"You take that back, Dennis! Peter's not great, no matter how everyone may agree with you!" Pinky stupidly defended and the panda face palmed appropriately.

"I'm doomed." Peter muttered.

"So, how does it feel to be a loser?" Dennis drawled, leaning coolly on the outside of the cage.

"We're not losers." Pinky said with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

Dennis narrowed his eyes "Yeah…you are, Pinky. You're both two losers in a loser college nerd's cage. Trapped by an even bigger loser than you two losers are who works with a bunch of losers that you two also work with who are losers, you losers."

"Wow…" Pinky was amazed by the overuse of the word loser. "Does that make you a loser too Dennis?"

"NO!" The rabbit shouted back. "It doesn't and you know why?"

"Nope." Peter sighed in an uninterested tone.

"Shut up Peter! I was talking!" Dennis stomped.

Pinky interfered in speaking. "But you asked a question. Aren't you supposed to answer questions when they're asked or somethin'?"

"Not always…It was a rhetorical question, and I was talking to Peter! The rhetorical question was for him!" Dennis yelled at the stupid chihuahua dog.

"Well then I want a rest-orical question too, Dennis. I'm sleepy." Pinky mispronounced the word and yawned for emphasis.

Dennis looked at the dog like he was insane, not understanding what the stupid thing was talking about before he figured it out. "Damnit! I said rhetorical! NOT rest-orical!"

Pinky didn't catch on at all and smiled. "I demand a pillow!"

"I'll tell you what you can command!" The bunny rabbit started. "My foot up your a-!"

"-AHEM!" Peter finished, being a censor.

Dennis lowered his fist with a scowl and threw up his hands with a yelling groan. "Ugh! I'm too sober for this! And I can't find the juice!"

"That's because I poured it all into the snow." Peter told him. "Alcohol is bad for you, it's dangerous."

"That's not true." The rabbit defended, knowingly. "I make all my major decisions while I'm drunk. That way I don't have to think about what I've done until later. Then I numb it through excessive drinking in a healthy manner and bottle up all my emotions so no one has to hear them."

Pinky blinked. "That doesn't sound too healthy…"

"That's because it's not." Peter glared. "It's the exact opposite, and double, even triple opposite of healthy."

"It's totally healthy!" Dennis argued. "That way I don't create problems for other people!"

"What are you TALKING about?!" Peter asked. "You ALWAYS start problems Dennis! In fact, you are the KING of starting problems for other people!"

Dennis frowned deeply. "Not true!"

"COMPLETELY true!"

"Since when?"

"Since like forever!"

"That's not a good answer so your argument is invalid!" Dennis pointed. "And anyway, drinking helps me to be a better person."

"No it doesn't." Peter's eyes shrunk to lines. "It helps you to screw things up and be a complete—" The panda started and stopped. "—a complete bad word I can't say because Pinky's here."

Pinky hummed distractedly as he sat on the cage floor, twirling his foot out in front of him.

Dennis and Peter blinked at him for a moment before getting back to their discussion.

"Whatever, dude. I don't have to listen to you OR stupid over there." Dennis pointed to Pinky. "The geek told me to destroy you."

"You know what Dennis?" Peter challenged. "Go ahead! I don't care anymore! What are you even waiting for anyway? Go on and kill us already. Do your worst."

Dennis stood there in front of them and didn't act, he just waited.

Peter held the bars and raised one of his non-existent eyebrows. "What are you doing? Why aren't you trying to kill us?"

"I'm thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"I'm thinking about if I should do it or not..."