1.) Bring about thirty pairs of underwear because, true facts, you will ruin every single one of them in one way or another.

Addendum: Find sanitary places to get more and MARK. THEM. DOWN.

2.) When you first get to a world, talk to the first person you see. The first. I promise it works. Note: If you do not do this you are doomed. Doooommeedd.

3.) Repeat after me: I come from far, far away, I'm new around here, hahaha no that's not a giant key you must be seeing things. THEY CAN SENSE FEAR, GUYS. It doesn't matter who 'they' are, THEY SENSE IT.

4.) There is never, ever a bathroom. And if there is, trust me guys – you don't wanna use it.

5.) You can never have enough guns on a Gummi ship, no matter what Donald says. Armor blocks are for people without mad skills, or enough cannons.

6.) Don't think about the language barrier. I did once and it made my head hurt real bad. I had to go lie down and everything.

7.) If a heartless gives you something, just take it and go. Don't ask questions. Unless it talks back – then KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE. AND ICE. AND LIGHTING.

8.) You can destroy pretty much anything by jumping on its back and hitting it long enough. This is my 100% fool-proof plan of victory.

*You should probably not try this with Cloud. Or Leon. Or Tifa. Or Hercules okay you know what just don't try this if it can talk. It will only end in tears.

9.) KEYCHAINS ARE THE MANLIEST THING EVER.

Addendum the 2nd: SHUT UP RIKU, YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT SANTA.

10.) DON'T. Touch. The Pom-pom. And if you do, run man. Don't look back. Just run.