"So that was when you heard the explosion?"

Harry sighed, "For the fifth time, Artie, yes!" After reporting back to the Warehouse, Artie had hounded them for hours about the details leading up to the explosion. "We heard it clear across town. When we made it to the scene, the police and fire departments were already there.

"It was an abandoned warehouse in the industrial district. The place was leveled, not a brick standing. Good thing, the warehouse was empty so there weren't any injuries. In fact, there wasn't anybody within a block of the explosion."

In Harry's opinion, that was a major coup. The fewer injuries resulting from the Artifact retrieval, the better. Warehouse operations already a reputation for collateral damage. The fact that an explosion that took out an entire warehouse, but didn't harm a single person was definitely a plus in his book. Artie, on the other hand...

"We've lost a lot of ground, the entire case might be a wash at this point." Through the small screen of the Farnsworth, Claudia and Harry could see Artie wipe his forehead in frustration, "Any evidence we could get from the scene has most likely been destroyed or contaminated by the police. And whoever stole the Artifact is definitely going to go to ground after this." Artie leaned in, his face magnified and distorted on the screen of the Farnsworth. "Luckily, what we do have more than makes up for what we lost."

Claudia rolled her eyes, "You know, you could just let us know you figured something out," she spoke in an exasperated manner, "You drag things out like a soap opera."

Artie recoiled as if struck, "Well, you didn't have to put it like that. In any case, I noted when the theft was reported and, with the time of the explosion, I've narrowed down the list of Artifacts that could have been used in the robbery." At Claudia's pronounced sigh, Artie continued, "Given how quickly the Ishtar Gate released its energy after being stolen, we have to assume that we're dealing with one of the Seven Wonders."

Harry perked up at that comment. During his partnership with Artie back during the '90s, the man had mentioned the Seven Wonders in passing. He had never said much other than that the group of Artifacts were exceedingly dangerous and carefully monitored by the Warehouse, even more so than most Artifacts. Harry knew what he knew by piecing together bits and pieces of what Artie said over the years.

"Are you sure, Artie?" Harry had to question. If Artie was right... "You know what that means, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Claudia could only look on in bemusement as Artie and Harry simultaneously ran their hands through their hair. Clearly, the Seven Wonders were a big deal. Of course, the two doofuses wouldn't tell her anything. "Sorry to break up the monthly meeting your old man's club, but you mind telling everyone who's not either a mind reader what's so special about the Seven Wonders?" With a quick thought, she added, "Other than the obvious?"

To Claudia's surprise, it was Harry that answered, not the all-knowing Artie. "You know how Artifacts tend to come from famous people?" At Claudia's nod, he continued, "The earliest Artifacts didn't follow this trend. The Hammer of Enmerkar, the Chains of Enkidu, the Minoan Trident, etcetera. These Artifacts had powers that made their users famous. The Seven Wonders were the first of their kind, the type of Artifact that you're well acquainted with.

"The Seven Wonders were originally constructed by humans, mundane in every manner except for the beauty of their construction. Through the passage of time, as the Seven Wonders grew famous and known throughout the ancient world, they grew in strength and weird things began happening around them.

"The Warehouse was clearly confused. Up until then, Artifacts had always been Artifacts. There wasn't a case where something normal became an Artifact. So, the Warehouse collected them and began to experiment on them, to find out what turned them into Artifacts. Experimentation didn't reveal much, but the Seven Wonders began to display signs of mutation. Rather than having a single set ability, they began to change depending on who used them. That's what makes them dangerous. Every time you go up against one of the Seven Wonders, you won't know what it can do. And knowledge is everything when it comes to dealing with Artifacts."

Artie sat in stunned silence, with only the faint static of the Farnsworth giving any sign that he was still there. Claudia's mouth was wide open, her jaw slack in disbelief. Harry was taken aback at their reactions. "What?" he exclaimed, "I pay attention to what you say sometimes, Artie. Kinda hard to listen to you drone on without some of it sticking."

Come to think of it, his spiel brought something to light. It was true that knowledge was key in completing, and sometimes just surviving, Warehouse missions. Knowing which Artifact you were dealing with often spelled the difference between success and death. God knows what would have happened to him and Artie if they had remembered the Medusa's weakness to reflective surfaces.

"-someone pays attention to what I say." Evidently, Artie had recovered from his stupor, "Knowing your Artifacts is everything! In fact, Harry and I were chasing down an Artifact that could turn people to stone..." And it seemed strange minds think alike.

Quickly catching on that Artie was about to launch into another one of his long winded stories, Claudia cut him off before he could begin, "So where does that leave us? There's an Artifact out there with weirdo powers. Sounds like what we face every week. Just so happens that this one does all sorts of weird things like some kind of Artifact Superman."

"Well, we-" Artie was interrupted before he could reply.

"By the way, is there an Artifact with some bogus power like superweaving or superdickery?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "While I'm not entirely sure that that last one really counts as a superpower, there was this shawl we found in Athens..."

"Excuse me," Harry was in turn interrupted by Artie, who clearly wanted the train of their conversation steered back on course. "As I was saying, narrowing down the list of Artifacts helps us identify it. While their powers mutate, the Seven Wonders tend to keep within a theme and their forms have yet to change. Given that three of the Seven Wonders are currently in Warehouse possession, we're down to a list of four possible candidates."

"Wait, we only have three of them?" Claudia exclaimed, "If these are super-freaky Artifacts from the beginning of time, shouldn't we have all of them?"

"The Seven Wonders are more volatile than most Artifacts and have a tendency of disappearing from the Warehouse without cause or notice." Artie replied, "The best we can do is retrieve them as soon as we realize they're missing. As I was saying, there's four possible candidates.

"There's the headpiece from the staff of Zeus at Olympia. It's done everything from flight to weather control. Tricky little bugger, it usually escapes within the year every time we secure it. Most likely, it's not what we're looking for. None of the recorded powers can do anything close to what happened to the vault door.

"It could be the Artifact from the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, but there's not much I can give you about that one. It's... strange, all the records are pretty detailed, but there's next to nothing on this one. Not even a description of its appearance.

"The most likely Artifact would be the bronze finger from the Colossus of Rhodes. It's about the size of your head, pure bronze. Records say that the Artifact can grant water-walking, invulnerability, or get this, super-strength."

Harry's eyes widened. The security video of the destruction of the vault door suddenly made much more sense.

"What about the last one? Didn't you say that four of the Wonders aren't in the Warehouse?" Claudia, on the other hand, wasn't convinced. Smart, as there was no way of telling which Artifact they were actually after.

"The last one is a pouch of dirt from the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. I'd say this one's the clincher since it can disintegrate stone and affect plant growth, except for one thing. Out of all the Artifacts in the world, the dirt from the Hanging Gardens actually makes the Ishtar Gate inert. No reaction at all, probably because they're both Babylonian. By all means, keep an eye out, but it's probably not our MacGuffin."

Then, there was a pregnant pause as Claudia and Harry stood there, alternating glances at each other and the Farnsworth. Artie stared blankly out of the screen of the Farnsworth before breaking the silence, "Well, what are you waiting for? Go -"

"Snag it, bag it, tag it. Gotcha, Artie." Sometimes, it seemed Claudia waited for Artie to speak just so she could interrupt him.

Despite Artie's words, Claudia and Harry had no idea where to start looking for the Artifact. Or rather, Claudia had no idea where to start looking. Harry directed her towards investigating the museum while he went off to investigate the wreckage of the warehouse.

The place looked like a disaster zone. That was a fairly accurate description, considering that the warehouse had been blown to kingdom come by the detonation of the Ishtar Gate. Rescue crews had been working non-stop over the past couple of hours, clearing rubbish and collapsed walls in hopes of saving trapped victims. Luckily, the place was vacant and the crews had all but cleared out by now. However, there were still a few individuals wandering about the ruins. And, unfortunately for Harry, he needed to work in private.

He reached into his coat, searching for something. Even when in Warehouse containment, some Artifacts had the tendency to... wander. Especially powerful Artifacts, like the Seven Wonders had the strangest ability to outright disappear from the Warehouse, seemingly under their own power. Luckily for him, the Artifact he was looking for was rather clingy and had been easily found after his de-bronzing.

Harry muttered a few words under his breath and a Notice-Me-Not and a Muggle-Repelling Charm sprang up around him. Anyone looking at him instantly turned away, their minds filled with other problems. Harry gave his surroundings another once-over before properly pulling the Elder Wand from its place inside his coat. Normally, Harry refused to use the most bloody of the three Hallows out of principle. Then again, he rarely performed magic since joining the Warehouse. In any case, almost any magic he could conceive of performing, he could accomplish with his phoenix-feather wand. Except for this, of course.

He waved the wand through the air, whispering unintelligibly under his breath as he did so. Faint glyphs rose out nowhere and faded just quickly, and a runic circle appeared around his feet. The wind picked up and ruffled his hair. A feeling of oppressive power clung to the air as Harry spoke, the words having a deep timbre despite being whispered.

"Point Me, Colossus of Rhodes."

Typically, this wouldn't have worked. He had shattered his phoenix-feather wand the first time he tried it, though he quickly used the Elder Wand to repair it once again. Despite the fact that it was a powerful magical conduit, Harry's original wand wasn't equipped to deal with Artifacts. The Elder Wand, on the hand, was one of those aforementioned Artifacts and, although not built to do so, could channel Artifact energy. Even then, the Four-Points spell was finicky when it came to locating Artifacts. Over several trials and failures, Harry had determined what he believed to be the right circumstances. And luckily for him, each and every one was satisfied in his search for the Colossus of Rhodes.

Firstly, he needed to know specifics about the Artifact. The Warehouse had come in handy here as there was copious amounts of research on the Seven Wonders. Secondly, he needed to be in a place where the Artifact was recently. The explosion at the warehouse had signified that the Colossus of Rhodes had most definitely been there within the past couple of hours. And lastly, he needed a sample of the particular energy of the Artifact in question. He fingered a bit of the debris from the vault door at the museum. Truly, he had gotten lucky on this case.

The Elder Wand twitched in the palm of his hand and span rapidly before slowing down to a stop. The tip glowed gold as a faint white line appeared at his feet, trailing off into the distance. Well, it looked like he had some tracking to do.

"How do you know the Artifact is here?"

Of course, Claudia had to get a little suspicious. They both knew that the warehouse ruins were most likely a dead end, so when Harry had reported a lead, he knew Claudia wouldn't be entirely trusting.

"Just trust me, okay? I'm going to jimmy the lock open, so cover me with the Tesla."

Harry inched up to the door. He had tracked the Colossus of Rhodes, or at least the finger that was left over, to this apartment. If everything went smoothly, they'd be on a plane back to America before night fell. He fiddled with his Warehouse-issue lockpicking set (read: several bobby pins that Artie had left him) and the lock sprang open. As he began turning the knob, he reached into his coat again. Since Claudia was with him, it wasn't a good time for wand-waving. Fortunately, he had remembered to pack a few other things.

Opening the door as silently as possible, Harry rolled into the apartment, brandishing what seemed to be a small metal pipe. He waved it about the apartment as his eyes swept over the area, looking for opponents. Finding nobody, he put it back in his coat as Claudia entered behind him.

"Nice entry. Was that entirely necessary or did you just want to look cool?"

Blushing slightly at her comment, Harry replied as if he didn't hear her. "This room's clear. Let's sweep the place for the Artifact."

Claudia nodded and walked towards one of the branching hallways. A tinkling noise sounded from the other hallway, and Claudia and Harry froze. Snapping out of his stupor, Harry instantly ran towards the hallway and saw a figure trying to fit through a window. Thinking quickly, he reached back into his coat and pulled out the metal pipe. Harry pointed the pipe at the man and gave it a sharp clockwise twist. The man barely had time to give out a yelp of surprise before he was pulled from the window by some unseen force towards Harry. The two men collided, sending both tumbling to the ground. Unfortunately for Harry, the thief recovered first, sprang to his feet and kicked Harry as he was lying on the floor.

Harry's breath was driven from his lungs as the man's foot struck his midriff. The thief must have had the finger in his possession because Harry skidded towards the opposite wall, stars blooming across his vision as he crashed into the wall. Claudia sprang up in front of him, Tesla at the ready before the man took two steps and backhanded her to the ground. He stared down at the two of them before running out the apartment door.

Claudia recovered first and rushed over to check on Harry. He waved her off as he struggled to his feet. The two took off through the door, intent on chasing the running thief.

They followed him through streets of heavy traffic, although the presence of cars and pedestrians thinned as they neared the warehouse district. Harry turned a corner and saw a flash of cloth disappear into the nearest alley. Motioning to Claudia, Harry reached into his coat and drew the metal pipe again.

"That thing again?" Claudia gave the pipe a dubious look. "It didn't really work out the last time you tried."

Harry sighed, "Give me a break, I'm a little rusty. This thing's worked out fine in the past."

He rounded the corner and barely reacted in time to duck into a crouch under an incoming punch. In his position, Harry quickly leveled the pipe at the thief and twisted the pipe counter-clockwise.

Suddenly, the man went flying backwards as if a giant invisible hook grabbed him by the back of his shirt. He collided with a brick wall and dropped to the ground, unmoving. Harry edged closer, his pipe trained on the still body. As he moved to flip the man over to look for the Artifact, the thief blurred into motion and swept Harry's feet out from under him. The man proceeded to get to his knees, his right fist reared back for a punch. Harry squinted, his face scrunched as he anticipated the hit. Then, there was a sound of static and blue sparks arced over the thief's body before he was thrown back into the wall.

"Forgot about me, buddy." Claudia quipped as she raised the Tesla to her mouth and blew imaginary smoke from the barrel. She lent a hand to Harry, who grabbed it and climbed back to his feet.

"Thanks for the save." Harry gasped, still recovering from his second knockdown of the day.

"No problem," replied Claudia. "It's what partners do, right?"

The thief sprang back to his feet, only to freeze as he faced both the business end of Claudia's Tesla and Harry's pipe. He moved as if to take a step forward only to look bemusedly at his foot. A look of terror spread over his face as his foot slowed gained a yellow-orange hue, its metallic sheen glinting in the sunlight.

A look of realization dawned on Harry's face. "Artifact recoil," he muttered. "Prolonged use turns you to bronze." As the man turned to him, a begging look in his eyes, Harry stated. "We can help but you need to tell us where you put the Ishtar Gate."

"The what?" The thief replied.

"The aurochs?" Harry clarified. The bronzing had already reached the man's knees when Claudia cut in, "The goat?"

Frantic words poured out of the man's mouth, "I dunno! Some man hired me to steal it! He just gave me this bloody thing," he reached down his shirt to reveal the bronze finger hung on a necklace, "an' said the rest would come to me. I just needed a bit of cash is all! I didn't expect to hurt nobody! In an' out, that's all, he promised. I dropped the thing off at the warehouse, only walked five feet away 'fore the thing exploded!"

He ripped the makeshift amulet from his neck and forced it into Harry's hands as the bronze reached his neck. "Next thing I know, I'm in my apartment with the cash on the table. I turn on the telly an' there's the explosion on the news! I didn't do it on purpose, honest to God! He-" The thief was cut off as the recoil from the Colossus of Rhodes took its course, leaving the man a metal sculpture.

Harry could barely hear the footsteps behind him as he looked at the statue. The man had his face frozen, mouth open in mid-sentence, the fear and horror etched in his expression. Judging from the thief's frantic confession, here was a man caught up in another's plan. A man who didn't understand the power of the item he was given nor the terrible cost it would, and did, incur.

"Well," Claudia's voice was soft, almost a whisper. "Damn."

Damn, indeed. It was going to be hell to explain this to Artie.

Author's Note:

Well, here's another chapter in my increasingly badly-written fanfiction. It's some time since my last chapter, several months in fact. The delay was compounded by my paralyzation over the plot, lack of a beta, and crippling lack of self-esteem. That and I really suck at writing. There's a reason why I'm majoring in Computer Science. Well enough about the pity party, let's move on.

As for any discussion about a release schedule, be glad that I'm releasing at all. I had this chapter in its current form for about two weeks before I decided to release it as is. I'm terribly self-conscious about my writing, but not nearly good enough to beta my own work. It doesn't help that my muse, or whatever I have that attempts to pass for a muse, appears to have some form of attention-deficit disorder. I've already written a chapter for another work just to get it out of my head and finishing this chapter already has me plagued with ideas for Avengers crossovers. I would like to ask for betas so I can have someone to bounce ideas off of and maybe keep me on track.

Discussing the writing itself, I'm at a bit of a quandary. Do I refer to Artie as "Artie" or "Arthur" outside of dialogue? "Artie" sounds rather personal, but it feels ingrained after watching the show. "Arthur" provides the right amount of distance for the point-of-view that I'm trying to go for, but it just feels wrong considering how almost every character refers to him as "Artie".

In terms of this chapter and its relation to the plot, we have our first plot thread. Someone is supplying people with Artifacts, namely to get their hands on other Artifacts. Will this tie into an underlying plot or will it just be some kind of plot hole that I'll forget about in two chapters? Eh, we'll see. I have an idea of where I want the story to go and this plot point may or may not figure into it.

We also see Harry's first use of magic. I gave in pretty quick, huh? Not even five chapters in and we're already breaking out the big guns. Eh, not really. As I mentioned, tracking Artifacts with the Elder Wand is iffy at best. It requires a lot of data, most of which wouldn't be available until the climax of a Warehouse operation, at which point it's moot. I realized that spell-slinging willy-nilly, especially usage of the Four-Points spell would be broken beyond belief. If Harry could just "Point Me Insert Random Artifact Here", we might as well not have a Warehouse team. I'll do my best not to have Harry track down another Artifact in this manner. I should probably read some more detective novels as research...

Artifact List

The Hammer of Enmerkar:

One of the first Artifacts, if not the first. The stone hammer was wielded by the powerful Sumerian king, Enmerkar, who used it to construct the ancient city of Uruk. Simply slamming the hammer against the ground would cause buildings of stone and clay to rise out of the ground, allowing Enmerkar to construct his legendary city within the span of a single night.

The Chains of Enkidu:

A set of bronze chains connected to a pair of manacles, they were said to have been worn by the great beast Enkidu upon his descent to Earth. Enkidu was a beast-man, created by the Sumerian gods to humble the king Gilgamesh. Eventually humanized through interaction with civilization, Enkidu's journey culminates in a wrestling match with Gilgamesh, which neither company wins. Their battle makes them fast friends, the two becoming inseparable until their fateful tangle with the Bull of Heaven. For their defiance of the gods, Enkidu was struck with sickness and died. Gilgamesh, horrified at the death of his friend and at his own mortality, begins his legendary quest for immortality, which enumerated in The Epic of Gilgamesh. While the legitimacy of their origin is disputed, the chains hold the ability of being able to bind anything that they hold, rendering them incapable of movement.

The Minoan Trident:

The first Artifact collected by the Warehouse, whose use prompted the founding of the esoteric organization. While the Minoan Trident wasn't the first Artifact to be discovered, its capabilities for mass destruction quickly established the notion that Artifacts weren't meant to be trusted in human hands so readily. Its use during Mycenaean-Minoan War spelled the end of the Minoan civilization. The Trident has the ability to create and magnify geological disturbances, such as fissures, which result in catastrophic geological events. It is believed that the eruption of Thera was caused by the Minoan Trident.

Medusa's Bust:

Carved out of marble in Ancient Greece, this bust depicts a beautiful woman whose hair is composed of several snakes, all in striking position. Making eye contact with the bust can turn a victim to stone within minutes. According some Greek legends, Medusa was a beautiful maiden, so beautiful that Poseidon caught and raped her in one of Athena's temples. Athena caught them and, enraged, transformed Medusa and her sisters into Gorgons, hideous snake-haired creatures whose visage turned onlookers into stone.

The Seven Wonders of the World:

The Seven Wonders were marvels of human engineering, constructed by hand and through mundane labor. The magnificence of their construction inspired civilizations and their longevity turned to fame. Through the years, the Seven Wonders began to acquire strange and mysterious powers. The Warehouse, formerly relegated to simple collection of Artifacts, instantly understood the dangers of these new Artifacts. If through the Seven Wonders, man discovered how to make Artifacts, it would be impossible to keep them out of irresponsible hands. Through clever manipulation and outright sabotage, the Warehouse destroyed six of the seven Wonders, retrieving the bits and pieces of each that remained Artifacts.

The Colossus of Rhodes:

The Colossus was a massive bronze statue of the Titan Helios, situated at the mouth of the harbor of the island of Rhodes. Originally constructed to celebrate the victory of Rhodes and Egypt over their common enemy of Cyprus, the Colossus towered over the entrance to the harbor and became a famed symbol of the island. The Colossus collapsed in 226 BC due to an earthquake, and the Warehouse managed to retrieve a sole bronze finger.

The Elder Wand:

Alternately known as the Wand of Destiny or the Deathstick, it is a wand made of elder wood with the core of a thestral tail-hair. Magic performed with the Elder Wand is powerful, often far beyond the capabilities of other wands. Due to its unique status as an Artifact, the Elder Wand is also capable of manipulating Artifact energy, allowing it to produce effects on Artifacts when normal wands would be incapable of doing so. However, the Elder Wand is notoriously fickle, often changing masters at the slightest hint of defeat, and the power it grants often corrupts its wielders.

Faraday's Pipe:

Michael Faraday was a famed British scientist, renowned for his breakthroughs in the fields of electromagnetism and electrochemistry. Faraday had only the most basic of educations before he was apprenticed to a bookbinder and bookseller. During his apprenticeship, Faraday read many books and developed a keen interest in the field of science. Near the end of his apprenticeship, Faraday attended many lectures at the Royal Society, eventually sending a book of notes he had made to one of the lecturers. Impressed, the lecturer took Faraday as a secretary and he eventually became an assistant. He moved up through the ranks of scientists and the rest, as they say, is history. The pipe itself holds some semblance of the magnetic powers, able to attract or repel an object based on how the pipe is twisted.