Peculiar Texts
or, the many texts of the Victorious gang.
Chapter 1 - Beck/Jade, set during Beck Falls for Tori
beck: hey babe
jade: what
beck: so loving
jade: i'll give you a kiss if you get to the point
beck: i'll take you up on that
beck: anyway
beck: would you be opposed to the idea of me in a dress
jade: are you trying to tell me something
beck: NO
beck: i just
beck: never mind you'll figure it out
jade: o...kay
jade: so am i allowed to come over now or
beck: can i take you up on that kiss offer
jade: yes
beck: then yes
beck: see you in ten
/
jade: oh my gosh BECK
beck: what?
jade: is this
jade: is this something to do with cat's new like dress up obsession
beck: what? no!
jade: are you CHEATING on me
beck: with cat
beck: jade you know i love cat as a friend but
beck: are you serious
jade: ...okay never mind but seriously beck what do you want me to think
beck: that i would look very handsome in a dress
jade: you have hair on your legs
beck: yes thank you capillary obvious
jade: you are WORSE THAN VEGA
jade: ugh why do i date you again
beck: because i bring rainbows and unicorns and sparkles into your bland and boring life
jade: ...right
jade: please you are as bland as wheat thins
beck: i LIKE wheat thins!
jade: that should tell you something
beck: yeah well
beck: you're as morbid as the boys' bathrooms at HA
jade: is that seriously the most morbid thing you can think of oliver
jade: WOW i need to educate you
beck: jade have you ever BEEN in the boys' bathrooms at HA
jade: yes but can we please not talk about it
beck: oh my - jade i forgot about that hahahaha THAT WAS HILARIOUS
jade: never speak of it
beck: the look on your face though
jade: i SAID NEVER SPEAK OF IT
beck: okay fine calm down babe
beck: but seriously
beck: best thing ever
jade: i hate you
beck: you do not
beck: anyway you will find out about the whole dress ordeal soon enough
beck: and it is NOT AN OBSESSION
jade: and once again you bring up the dress thing
jade: i'm starting to think that i should be concerned
beck: shut up
beck: do you think my legs would look good in a dress
jade: no
beck: so loving babe
jade: look i do NOT want a boyfriend who looks better in a dress than I DO
beck: please babe no one looks better in a dress than you do
jade: so very true
jade: glad you've seen the light
beck: you are my light
jade: stop now before it gets worse
beck: it is the east, and jade is the sun
jade: good to see you know your shakespeare; now quote another, considerably less cliche line for me please
beck: ...i bite my thumb at you sir
jade: ugh why do i even tolerate you
beck: because i am the best thing ever no literally i am the bomb
jade: yeah cause you make things explode
jade: mainly me with anger
beck: rude
jade: yup
jade: so romeo
beck: let our lips do what hands do
jade: and how long did it take you to google that
beck: ...totally did NOT google that
jade: right i totally believe you
jade: then, do my lips have the sin that they have taken from yours?
beck: GIVE ME MY SIN AGAIN
jade: you kiss by the book.
jade: ok seriously this is getting freaky and also why are we texting when you're right in front of me like seriously what are we
beck: amazing
beck: but you know how romeo and juliet ends right
jade: don't we all
beck: thankfully beck and jade don't end that way
jade: we hope, at least
beck: JADE
jade: yeah calm yourself and come be a saint or w/ever
beck: way to make it sound appealing
jade: i do try
/
beck: jade
beck: jade you love me right
jade: um you could say that
jade: why?
beck: so even if i do something slightly ridiculous to help out a friend, you won't break up with me?
jade: um duh
jade: unless you're like swapping spit drops with alyssa vaughn because then bye bye oliver
beck: JADE NO I AM NOT
jade: it was a joke you may want to reinstall your 'sense of humor' cartridge beckbot
beck: not funny jade
jade: please oliver i am hilarious
jade: i'm assuming this has something to do with your dressession
beck: what
jade: dress obsession i SHORTENED IT okay
jade: are you and shapiro and andre all going to wear dresses and do like that christmas dance from mean girls
beck: ...what this is just getting worse
jade: i think it'd be rather amusing
beck: the mere fact that you've pictured this before
beck: you amaze me sometimes
jade: yeah i am pretty amazing
beck: it's just... a favor
jade: oh my gosh does this have something to do with VEGA and her stupid movie issue problematic thing
beck: um i gotta go... eat doughnuts with um... my dog
jade: WE ARE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS
beck: i say we are
jade: beck oliver get back here right now
jade: fine i'll be there in twenty
/
jade: oh my gosh beck
jade: you look ridiculous
jade: and yes i'm aware that you can't read this but that just makes it funnier
jade: you look like... i don't even KNOW this is the funniest thing ever and especially since everyone ACTUALLY BELIEVES that you are vega the gullibility of people it's amazing
jade: i really hate you for doing this for vega but at LEAST i have blackmail material
beck: jade please tell me you did not take pictures
jade: i did not take pictures... um
beck: please tell me you're not serious
jade: i'm serious and i sent them to cat so she'll probs post them
jade: but before you change i want a pic with you
beck: why
jade: HELLO i am your GIRLFRIEND and also i find it a bit
beck: don't finish that
jade: and also you've taken like five hundred thousand with tori-loser
jade: but seriously take a pic with me babe
beck: ugh fine but only cause i love you
jade: good to know
/
beck: can't believe you actually pushed tori off a ledge
jade: i warned you did i not
jade: prolonged exposure to tori makes me do these things
jade: and besides she's perfectly okay
beck: sometimes i literally don't understand why i'm so in love with you
jade: because, like i've said ten thousand billion times before, i am amazing
jade: i don't get how everyone ISN'T in love with me
beck: i'll have to second that one
beck: dinner tonight?
jade: you buying?
beck: as always
jade: then i suppose i'll show up
beck: see you there then
/
beck: you look gorgeous
jade: don't i always
jade: better than tori in her stupid dress or
beck: of course
jade: no wait let me rephrase that
jade: better than YOU in your stupid dress
beck: ...after careful consideration i'm going to have to say yes
jade: 'careful consideration'
beck: your snort was unnecessary
jade: your face is unnecessary
beck: this texting is unnecessary
beck: get over here
jade: yeah yeah i'll take my time
/
A/N: so i got this idea and couldn't let it go. i just love them okay.
other chapters will include all of the victorious cast, but this one was just bade-centric ;) please review for an update, and don't fave without reviewing!