A/N: So. This is it. The final chapter. God, this thing turned out longer than I thought...

Anyhoo, big special thank you to everyone who actually left reviews. It means a whole heckuva lot. Sorry if I got lazy/busy and didn't respond as much as I should have. My bad. And a super huge shout-out and thanks to everyone who made fanart for "EotA", especially Linda, Maria, and Nath who all made multiple pieces. Love you guys, loads.

Don't think I need to cover my ass about anything here. Chapter title from "Turn the Page" by Metallica (originally by Bob Seger, but let's face it, the Metallica version is better).

Sequel ("From the First Note Played") will be up sometime during the New Year, whenever I actually sit and write it. Until then, hope you guys have a Merry Christmas (if you celebrate it) and a happy New Year. Stay safe and enjoy yourselves! Love yas! XOXOX

Each second that passed along the way to the room made Kendall's heart pound harder and stomach knot more. He had no idea what he was in for, if he was gonna be yelled at, held close, dumped, kissed, or maybe even some sorta combination of those things. The dread and apprehension had him feeling more and more nauseous and he wasn't entirely sure if it'd been a good idea to go there or not.

He kinda wished he'd stayed home.

No. Staying home was pussing out. He needed to man up and deal with this, no matter the outcome.

He just had to hope for a good one.

James unlocked and opened the hotel room door, sweeping his hand in front of him in a wordless signal for Kendall to enter first. The blond did just that, scuffing his feet as he meandered in, chewing his bottom lip. He felt nauseous, anxiety churning his stomach and he was halfway tempted to hang a left and head straight into the bathroom to puke.

Very manly.

But he didn't. He kept going straight, down the mini-hall and into the main part of the room.

The place wasn't as grand or lavish as the suites they'd stayed in the previous weekend. For starters, it was only one room—minus the bathroom, of course—although a partition going halfway across it split the space in two. The first part contained a small kitchenette area, complete with microwave, coffee maker, stove, sink, and mini-fridge. A long couch ran along the left wall between the kitchen and partition, coffee table in front of it, flatscreen TV on the opposite wall. On the other side of the partition was a low bureau, the end of a bed visible. The entire place was decorated in browns, tans, and creams, giving it a warm earthy feel.

Not that Kendall was feeling all that warm at the moment. He felt frozen from the inside out and longed for the safety and comfort of his dark gray walls and black furniture. But it wasn't gonna happen. He needed to be there and stay there, needed to see things through to the end. He and James had been in limbo for long enough and he was sick of not knowing where he stood with the brunet and what exactly was going on between them. He needed answers and he wasn't gonna leave until he got them.

For better or worse.

Shoving his hands in his jeans pockets, he spun around to face the other male, standing in the living room/kitchenette space. The singer soon joined him, leaning back against the counter with his arms and ankles crossed. The anger coming from his narrowed eyes made the blond shrink back, his shoulders hunching as he swallowed hard. Part of him had assumed his actions might hurt or piss off James, but it was a whole 'nother thing to be faced with the harsh reality of knowing what he'd actually done. He wanted to do some serious physical damage to himself knowing he'd emotionally hurt the guy he cared about.

"So," James started then paused, voice acidic. "Explain the not calling bullshit." He raised his eyebrows in expectation, jaw clenched, lips pressed into a hard line.

"You already know why I didn't call," Kendall reminded him, voice low, barely able to speak around the hard lump of emotions caught in his throat. He was terrified of what the brunet was gonna say, of how he'd react to any explanations given. All the teen could think about was the singer yelling, screaming, swearing, before kicking him out the hotel room—and his life.

Even the theoretical situation of that had his heart freezing and dropping the four stories they'd ridden up in the elevator.

He tried shoving the hypotheticals aside with no success before he continued. "My phone got taken and I couldn't remember your number." He didn't bother adding that he didn't look it up in his emails on his school's computers, figuring he'd be in enough shit as it was.

"Katie has it," James pointed out flatly.

Shit. He'd totally forgotten about that. Fucking hell, he'd become a dumbass recently.

He admitted out loud to spacing on that fact, earning a scoff and an eyeroll. Probably deserved. He wouldn't believe it either.

"And what about when you got your phone back? What's your excuse for not calling then?" the elder male spat out, eyes full of fire as he glared down at the leaner male.

Kendall knew he should've been confused about how the singer knew he had his phone back or guilty over not calling and being caught in a lie of sorts. But all he could focus on was the anger coming from the other male, the way the emotion was written all over his face, etched in frown lines and hardened jaw. And it was all because of him.

He needed to fess up, to come clean about it all. It clearly wasn't gonna be easy, was gonna cause both of them more pain, but it needed to be said. He was determined to keep up with his new habit of being honest at all costs, and that obviously included James.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he grimaced slightly as he reluctantly spoke. "Honestly? Part of me kinda wanted to end things between us."

The singer inhaled sharply, holding the air in his lungs as his entire body tensed up. His face was that emotionless mask again, yet panic and worry were fully evident in his eyes.

Okay, he hadn't worded that quite right. Take two.

"Not because of you," he quickly amended, moving his hand from the back of his neck to his chest. "But because of me." He dropped his hand, shoving it into his pocket, watching as the brunet visibly relaxed. The worry was gone, replaced by bewilderment, Kendall clearly needing to explain further. "You deserve so much better than some fucked-up mental case with abandonment issues and I thought—"

"Stop," James interrupted sharply, hand out in front of himself as he straightened up. He took several steps forward, dropping his hands as he stopped a couple feet away from the blond. "You aren't the only fucked up one in this relationship, okay? I grew up having to deal with emotionally distant parents that fucked me up so bad in the head that I couldn't even handle having someone hold my hand." His voice was defensive, hard, the mentioned appendages clenched into fists. Only for them to soften as the tension left his body and he quietly spoke the final two words: "Until you."

Kendall couldn't handle the confession, the weight behind the meaning of those words. The lump in his throat grew, impossible to even try to swallow, making it hard to breathe. Unable to look at the larger male, he glanced around the room, taking in the chocolate walls and cookie colored couch.

"You still deserve better though," he muttered before attempting to finish his previous statement, head tilted down to stare at the tan carpet. "And I thought that if I didn't call or text or whatever that you'd see what a dick I truly am and move on."

"Kendall," the brunet breathed out softly, a reverent tone to the name, as he slowly sauntered forward. "There is no moving on from you. And there's no one better either." He stopped when their toes touched, his hands moving to hold the leaner male's hips in a light grip. "Stop pushing me away."

The teen swallowed hard, shaky hands resting on strong forearms, eyes locked onto their boots. "Only if you stop running."

James nudged his head up with his nose, locking their eyes, forcing Kendall to see how serious he was being when he spoke. "The only running I'm gonna be doing is chasing after you," he vowed solemnly.

The promise hit Kendall like a shock from a defibrillator, restarting his dormant heart and making it pound harder than ever. It was what he needed to hear, the words calming his fears and erasing his anxiety. He was now completely at ease, no longer worried about the elder male getting pissed or hating him or leaving. He was sticking around—metaphorically, at least.

His hands slid around to the brunet's back, pulling him close so they were pressed together from hip to chest, resting his forehead on the other male's. "Can't chase me if I'm not going anywhere," he breathed against his lips.

The corner of James' lips curved up in a smile, a million positive emotions dancing in his eyes, one for every shade of green and brown the irises contained. "Good."

Kendall immediately grinned back, the action growing as he felt a hand move from his hip to the back of his head. And between one breath and the next, their lips pressed together in a kiss he had no idea he was so desperate to feel.

They stayed like that for a long moment, the singer wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer, tighter. The blond draped his arms over broad shoulders as their lips began moving in a rhythm they'd perfected over the previous weekend, a dance that was all their own.

The brunet pulled away first, eyes dark as they locked onto the teen's, breathing shakier than it had been moments before. "When's the last time you shaved?" he randomly asked, causing the younger male to frown in confusion.

"Before I went to visit you," the teen answered, puzzled.

A smile quirked up the corner of James' lips. "You should never shave again," he suggested, voice an octave lower, hips rolling. "It's hot as fuck."

"Yeah?" Kendall questioned, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he moved his own pelvis against the elder male's.

The brunet bit his bottom lip, lids dropping halfway down his eyes as his pupils widened. "Fuck yeah," he breathed out harshly before crashing his lips against the younger male's.

This kiss was more frenzied, more passionate than the previous one. The dam had burst, unleashing a week's worth of pent-up need and desire in violent waves. Lips smacked, teeth pulled, groans muffled, and all Kendall could think about was how quickly they could both get naked.

He kicked off his shoes, James doing the same, before the singer removed his hoodie. The teen pushed the beanie off the elder male's head, relishing the small jerk in his heartbeat at the knowledge that it was his hat the other guy was wearing, sliding his fingers through soft brown locks. His lips parted, a tongue greeting his own, starting a battle he gladly lost. Every lick and flick inside his mouth had his knees weakening and his exhales taking on a desperate edge.

Hands grabbed his ass, squeezing his cheeks through his jeans, wallet chains jingling with the action. His arousal was springing to life, coursing through his body at high speed as hips ground against his own. The feel of a half-hard cock on his made his erection grow, blood racing to his dick, making him groan loudly.

The bed was located somewhere behind him, that much he knew, so he started backing up in an attempt to find it. Only to locate the partition instead. James didn't seem to mind, pushing Kendall against it, pinning him in place. Hands held the blond's hips in a bruising grip, tongue sucked hard in the other male's mouth. His pelvis thrust forward, grinding, seeking friction but not finding nearly enough to satisfy him.

His hands moved to the brunet's waist, taking hold of his wifebeater and removing it from his muscular frame. Lips moved to his neck, sucking another mark, while his hands roamed ridged abs and rippled obliques. He rubbed his thumbs over the singer's nipples repeatedly, taking advantage of the weak spot, feeling them harden.

The elder male pulled his lips away, stuttered exhale gusting against wet sensitive skin. His grip tightened as he moaned before raising his head, meeting green eyes with half-lidded ones.

"Need you," he confessed on a whisper, right hand cupping the teen's face before kissing him sweetly and passionately.

Kendall didn't hesitate to kiss back, arms wrapping around the other male and holding him close. It was what he wanted, what he needed, to have James in his arms pressed against him, to feel his heartbeat against his chest, smell his scent with every inhale. The singer was like oxygen and he'd been drowning in an ocean of depression for far too long. He needed to breathe again, to feel the high coming from the sudden rush of air flooding his burning lungs, to feel his body sparking back to life from the substance he needed to keep going.

He pulled away from the brunet's lips, panting, shaking from the inside out. Arousal had flooded every inch of his being, rendering him unable to think about anything except getting the elder male inside him, making them one again. His heart was pounding, along with his cock, a roaring in his ears that blocked out all sounds except the harsh exhales coming from James.

Kendall pushed away from the wall, causing the other male to back up a couple steps. Paying more attention to where he was going, he hooked his fingers in the singer's belt loops and pulled him along his way, the other male going willingly, as he managed to get around the partition and into the bedroom section of the hotel room. His shirt was removed and tossed aside before he was pushed onto the bed, the larger male settling on top of him.

They kissed briefly before James moved his lips along his stubbled jaw, down the side of his throat, biting over his pulse point. Kendall's hips rose up on their own, dick twitching, gasping and groaning loudly. His fingers gripped onto a muscular back, trying to get closer, get more, his skin on fire where it came in contact with the singer's.

The brunet moved down the smaller male's body, pressing open-mouth kisses on his collarbone, over his chest, hands rubbing up and down his sides.

And right over his bruise.

The blond hissed out in pain, causing the elder male's head to snap up, worry clear on his face. His eyes quickly roamed over a lean frame, soon locating the cause of the pain.

"Is this a bruise?" he questioned, concern in his voice, fingers gingerly tracing over the mark. "What happened?"

The teen shivered at the barely there touch, feeling a lump form in his throat at the realization that the other male cared enough about him to inquire about such a minor injury. "My friend kicked me."

The singer snorted, hands splayed over the smaller male's stomach. "Some friend," he muttered sarcastically, eyes trained on a lean torso.

Kendall just shrugged, not in the mood to get into all that. Sure, she'd apologized earlier that day, but it wasn't like she was the greatest friend in the entire world. She definitely wasn't on the same level as Carlos or Camille. Then again, that was kinda why he hung out with her in the first place. But still, he wasn't gonna discuss her, good or bad, with someone who didn't even know her in the first place.

Especially not when he was trying to get that someone naked and inside him.

"You lose weight?"

What?

Green eyes flipped down to a brunet head, seeing the elder male staring at his hand as it moved over his stomach. "Are you gonna question everything about my physicality?" he asked dubiously, wondering why the singer wasn't going along with his usual habit of immediately stripping the teen and taking advantage of him.

His inquiry went ignored, James' eyes still locked onto his torso. "Your pudgy belly is gone."

Seriously. What?

"I do not have a pudgy belly," the blond argued, glaring at the male currently laying over him.

"Not anymore you don't."

"I never had one in the first place." His aggravation was growing and rather than wanting to have sex with the brunet, he kinda wanted to punch him in the throat.

"Yes, you did," James continued to insist, lifting his head and smirking. "It was adorable."

Oh, that fucking did it.

Kendall shoved at the larger male's shoulders, pushing him up into a sitting position. His glare intensified, jaw clenched tight as he spoke through gritted teeth. "Stop fuckin' calling me adorable."

The brunet chuckled, not seeming upset or intimidated by the younger male's angry tone. Instead, he rubbed his thumbs over thin hipbones, grinning. "That's the first time I've ever called you 'adorable'," he pointed out, tongue licking his lips as his eyes roamed the blond's naked midsection. "I usually call you 'cute'."

All right, so the guy was technically correct, but the teen wasn't about to admit that.

"Yeah, well," he started, struggling to come up with a good response. "I hate both so stop."

That was totally gonna drive the point home and make the elder male quit.

The singer twisted his lips as though he was thinking it over. "Mmm, nope." His smirk grew even more while he leaned down, pressing their torsos together. "Deal with it. Cutie."

"No. Fu—"

He never got a chance to finish his obscenity. James bit down on his neck and made him groan loudly.

"You still don't play fair," Kendall moaned out, eyes struggling to remain open.

"Never said I would."

Dick.

Hellbent on revenge, the blond reached down and pinched the elder male's nipples, relishing the loud groan that was emitted.

"Oh, fuck you," the brunet breathed out, now the one glaring as the younger male smirked.

The teen's face grew serious, bucking his hips up and squeezing the other male's ass. "That's exactly what I've been trying to get you to do for a while now," he pointed out, rubbing his nose against the singer's. He bit his bottom lip, pleading through half-lidded eyes as he kept moving his hips.

Hips ground down against his, his dick throbbing in his boxers, demanding something more than friction from cotton. Fingers threaded through his hair as lips pressed to his, the kiss slow but passionate, a tongue tangling with his. He moved his hands around to the brunet's front, cupping and squeezing the bulge in his jeans.

Kendall undid the elder male's pants, reaching inside them and his boxers, fingers wrapping around the hard cock contained within. He swallowed groans, smirking, stroking up and down. He thumbed the slit, smearing precome around the head, loving the feel of the large frame above him shivering.

His hand drifted down, cupping and squeezing the sac beneath. James pulled away from his lips to let out a shuddered gasp, groaning loudly. Kendall's smirk grew, hand massaging the twin weights, enjoying the gasped exhales coming from the brunet.

"Fuck," the singer breathed out, eyes rolling to the back of his head for a brief moment before locking onto the teen's. "God, I hope your ass is healed 'cause I'm about to tear it up again."

Kendall chuckled as lips locked onto his neck, sucking hard, while hands worked on undoing his jeans. He removed his own hands from the elder male's boxers, flipping them over so James was on his back on the bed, before kissing his way down a muscular body. He sucked hard on one nipple, bit the other, bisected the elder male's six-pack with his tongue.

James' back arched, stomach rolling, hips bucking, all in an attempt to get more contact. The blond nibbled a hipbone as he worked on getting the larger male's jeans and boxers down and off. Settling between the singer's legs, he stroked the now exposed erection once, twice, three times before licking up the length with the flat of his tongue. The taste of the other male exploded on his tongue and he moaned in appreciation, having missed the salty-sweetness of it. He licked the hardness all over, coating it in his saliva, paying special attention to the areas he knew really drove the brunet crazy.

Fingers wove through his hair, hands resting on his head and he flicked his eyes up to see dark orbs already watching him. Locking eyes, he made a show of slowly sliding the larger male's cock in his mouth, moaning and flicking his tongue along the way.

Loud groans filled the room, James' head tilting back against the pillow, hips raising to get more wet heat around his dick. Kendall pushed his pelvis back down, taking his sweet time before feeling the tip hit the back of his throat. He swallowed around it, feeling his own cock twitch at the sound of the other male's gasps and moan.

"Oh, shit, Kendall," the singer whimpered, tugging the blond locks his fingers were tangled in. The mentioned male hummed in response, causing small "ah" noises to leave the elder.

Kendall pulled back until only the head remained inside, sucking hard and flicking his tongue over the slit before sliding the cock back into his mouth. He repeated the pattern, hand massaging the sac beneath, causing James to pull his hair more. He let out a groan of his own, eyes flicking up to see the other male's chest rise and fall rapidly, the way he could barely keep his eyes fully open, his parted lips as he panted rather than breathed.

A few moments later, he felt the fingers slide out his hair, hands moving to his shoulders and pulling.

"Stop," James gasped. "Stop. Too close."

Kendall slowly slid the other male's cock out, giving one final hard suck to the head before kissing it. He was practically yanked up, body sprawling along a larger one, smile on his face that stayed even when lips were smashed against his.

His jeans and boxers were pushed down, resting below his ass, cheeks spread. A finger pressed experimentally at his hole and he moved back against it, wordlessly saying it was okay.

Before he knew it, he was on his back on the bed, the brunet straddling his legs. His pants and boxers were pulled off and tossed aside, a hard kiss pressed to his lips before the singer got up and off the bed. Confusion took over, soon wiped away as he watched the brunet head over to his suitcase, quickly returning with lube and condoms. A smile lazily spread across his face as he parted his legs, moving them so his knees were bent and his feet were flat on the bed, exposing his hole.

James settled between his legs, condom box on the nightstand, slicking his fingers up with lube. The tube was set aside, lips reconnected, lube spread around his hole. A few seconds later, a finger slid inside Kendall, causing him to inhale sharply in surprise, hips bucking up.

He pulled away from the other male's lips, breathing shaky as sparks of pleasure radiated throughout his body. The brunet rubbed their noses together, their eyes locked, his finger hooking and pulling at the younger male's hole. It wasn't long before a second digit joined the first, stretching the tight ring further.

The blond's head tilted back, moans rumbling up from his throat, eyelids drifting halfway down. Imagining this happening in the shower and it actually taking place were two totally different things and he couldn't believe he'd been able to halfway convince himself that it was the singer who'd been fingering him. It was a million times better having the real thing, James' digits slightly thicker, stretching and filling him more. The elder male knew all the perfect places to press, to rub, to really intensify the pleasure and have the teen crying out.

The third finger that slid inside had him yelling out a "fuck!", his head slamming back against the pillow, fingers gripping onto a muscular back. Their hips moved, grinding cocks rubbing together in a way that had both of them moaning. James scissored his fingers, stretching Kendall further as he nibbled and sucked the smaller male's neck.

Kendall blindly reached over to the nightstand, hand slapping around as he searched for the box of condoms. It felt like forever but he finally found it, pulling out a roll of them as teeth sank into his flesh.

"Ah, shit!" he cried out, eyes closing on their own. "Oh, god, you're a dick."

He felt rather than heard the brunet's chuckle as it gusted against his skin, causing a shiver to race up his spine. As revenge, he pinched and pulled the singer's nipples, smirking at the groan and the "you li'l shit" he got in response.

Fingers eased their way out of him and he tore a condom free from the roll. It was the work of a moment to get the condom itself out the foil packet and over the singer's cock, lube covering it.

James hitched Kendall's legs up, hooking them over his elbows. The blond held his cheeks open with his hands, feeling the tip of the other male's dick against his twitching hole. He opened his mouth getting ready to beg, to plead that the singer finally enter him, only to have the action rendered unnecessary by the larger male finally pushing in and sliding home.

The brunet bottomed out, holding still inside the leaner male, lowering himself so their chests were pressed together. The teen groaned as he was practically folded in half, filled beyond what he thought was capable, the stretch causing a slight sting around his hole.

Hazel-green eyes locked onto green ones, James rubbing their noses together. "You okay?" he questioned, genuine concern in his voice and on his features.

Kendall wrapped his arms around a set of wide shoulders, fingers tangling in brunet locks. "I have you, don't I?"

A small smile tugged up the corner of the tanner male's lips. "Yeah. You have me."

"Then I'm perfect."

The singer's smile grew. "You most definitely are." With that, he leaned down and kissed the teen, allowing the action to say what neither of them could. Or would. And as the tip of the brunet's tongue tentatively touched the blond's, he moved his hips back, his cock sliding nearly all the way out.

The metal-head groaned, the sounds mixing with similar ones being made by the male currently thrusting in and out of him in long, languid strokes. It was exactly what he wanted, what he needed during their days apart. Sure, he missed being held, kissed, talked to face-to-face, looked at like he was something precious and valuable, but there was something to be said about participating in this intimate act, the two of them becoming one, showing each other how they felt in the most primitive way possible. Maybe it was the connection he believed was there only when they were fucking. Maybe it was teenage hormones and the accompanying constant arousal. Whatever the case, feeling the invasion and retreat of James' thrusts was something he craved on a deeper level than anything physical.

And as he locked eyes with the brunet once more, he knew it wasn't just 'cause he was getting laid. It was because it was James.

Kendall dug his heels into a muscular back, urging him on. The fire had started up inside once more, fanning out from where they were connected, until every inch of him was burning. And still, it wasn't enough.

James sat up, holding the blond's legs back as he flexed his hips, thrusting harder and faster. The teen reached up and laid the flat of his hand against the headboard, preventing himself from being pounded into it, using it as leverage to move against the other male. His other hand scrambled as it tried to find contact with the brunet, finding his hand as it held the smaller male's thigh.

A hand lazily stroked his cock, a stark contrast to the hard, fast pounds in his rear. The dual sensations were too much and he found himself crying out a rambling stream of swears and the singer's name. He had no idea if it was too much or not enough, if he wanted it to stop or never end, but as he watched the larger male's head tilt back and heard the moan-tinged pants he exhaled, he was more than willing to endure it all.

His legs were moved so they were draped over James' shoulders, the brunet leaning over at an angle, free hand gripping the top of the headboard. His eyes were hard, dark, but filled with a million emotions describing his pleasure, his ecstasy, his sheer happiness. Kendall's toes curled painfully, hole clenching tightly around the cock driving inside of him. The fingers of his left hand were tangled in the comforter below him, the others squeezing the larger male's so tight he would honestly be surprised if they weren't broken. But none of it seemed to matter. He could feel the tell-tale signs of his orgasm rapidly approaching and he was torn between wanting it to explode and holding it off so he could feel the brunet fuck him forever.

"Gonna come," James panted, swallowing hard. "Gonna fuckin' come."

Kendall barely managed a smile for half a second, the elder male's dick grazing his prostate in the perfect way to make his eyes roll back. "Shit, so am I," he groaned back, lids drifting halfway down his eyes.

The singer breathed out a swear, hips moving faster, pounding into the teen with all he had. His muscles were tensed up, tendons on his neck strained, entire body hard. His skin was flushed red, thin sheen of sweat covering it, and the blond wanted to lick him all over.

But he didn't. For starters, the position he was held in prevented him from doing anything. Secondly, he was way too close to coming to be able to think of anything but that.

Both hands gripped thick thighs, the larger male holding the headboard as he stroked the leaner's cock at a faster rate. Both of them were breathing in mixes of pants and moans, eyes locked, unable to do anything except just feel.

James started twisting his hand on the downstroke, thumbing the slit, and it wasn't long until the actions had their desired effect. Kendall came screaming the other male's name and a litany of swears, orgasm covering a tight fist and lean torso. His eyes slammed shut, head tilting back, jaw clenching hard. Pleasure raced through every inch of him at such a high speed that he felt numb from it, vaguely aware of the brunet filling the condom inside him.

Several long moments later, he regain feeling in his body, realizing one of his legs had slipped off the singer's shoulder onto the bed, the other dangling off a muscular arm. He opened his eyes to see the other male gripping the headboard with both hands, head hanging, still panting as he trembled. Or was Kendall the one trembling? Both of them?

Whatever. That shit didn't matter. What did matter was the totally satisfied and blissed out look on James' face: the grin, the reddened cheeks, the kiss-swollen lips, the slack jaw, the whisker-burned skin. Beautiful.

Kendall moved his still-hanging leg down onto the bed, pulling the brunet's head down to kiss him. The action was returned, soft and sweet, a lazy way of exchanging thoughts there were no words for.

They eventually parted, the singer pulling out carefully before getting off the bed. The condom was disposed of, a couple wipes used to clean them off, and then they both got under the comforter. A few moments of rearranging later and they were laying side by side, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads pressed together, breathing the same air.

The blond's eyes roamed the other male, where his hand was laying on his neck, a hand cupping his own cheek. He couldn't but note the differences between them, how pale and scrawny he was compared to the tanned muscular male that was holding him close, thick legs tangling with stick-thin ones under the comforter. Seemed everything about them was a study in contrasts.

His mind flashed back to a week ago, their first nap together, how they'd laid together like that in the same exact way, the words James had spoken to him in that soft, reluctant voice.

"You fit pretty well there. In my arms, I mean. Almost like you belong there."

Kendall moved his hand to the back of the larger male's neck, fingers playing with sweat-dampened brunet locks. Okay, so they were different, but big fucking deal. "Opposites attract" was a cliché for a reason. So really, their differences were what made them so great, made them perfect, rather than a mistake that shouldn't happen.

The realization of that fact brought a small grin to his face, arms pulling himself closer to the larger male. Who gave a shit about one of them being a famous pop star and the other a high schooler? Who gave a shit about physical differences? Who gave a shit about any of the other details when they worked so well together?

He felt a nose nudging his, his eyes raising to meet hazel-green ones. "What?"

"What're you randomly smiling about?" James asked quietly, voice a little rough, corner of his lips curved up in a smile that was part amusement, part confusion, his brow furrowed.

"Nothing." Kendall shook his head, shrugging. "Just thinking 'bout how we laid like this on that first day together."

The confusion melted away from the singer's face, replaced with a bright, glowing smile. "Oh yeah," he recalled, letting out a small chuckle, before his face grew serious. "Ya know. We never fully figured out our relationship status." He frowned as his eyes dropped to the teen's chin, unable to keep up the contact with the smaller male's green orbs.

The blond couldn't resist teasing, smirk on his face. "Thought you were seeing someone special."

The joke earned him a slap to the ass and a glare. "You know what I mean."

Kendall's features shifted to a more grave expression, tongue darting out to wet dry lips. "Yeah. I do," he replied, voice rough as it forced its way past the lump of emotions that had sprung up in his throat once again.

And he knew they'd needed to have that chat for a while now. It needed to be hashed out, all of it laid on the table, shit sorted so they could move on in whatever direction they decided, whether together or apart.

Despite recent debates about ending things, he hoped like hell they remained together. The fear of it not happening that way had his arms wrapping tightly around the other male, fingers digging into bare skin as he clung to him.

James swallowed hard, eyes trained down once again. "I'm still not ready to come out," he admitted lowly, body hard, a slight tremble wracking tense muscles.

Kendall pressed his lips to the singer's forehead, inhaling his scent and trying to memorize it for when they were physically apart. "I'll wait."

Worried eyes looked up at him, brow knitted, concern written all over his features. He seemed more tense than before, teeth sinking into his bottom lip before he spoke, nerves working into his words. "Will you wait as my boyfriend?"

The blond's heart stopped in his chest, restarting at five times its normal pace. Tingles broke out over his skin, toes curling where they rested behind a well-defined calf, and he felt his stomach knot itself up so much he was pretty sure it'd show on an x-ray. He'd heard it, the "B-Word", from the singer's lips and in reference to him. Boyfriend.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

The reality of the situation hit him, his brow furrowing as confusion leaked onto his features. Yeah, the elder male wanted them to be an official couple, but while still hiding his sexuality. It seemed like a near-impossible thing, especially in today's world of tabloids, paparazzo, gossip blogs, and fandom hysteria via social media—something Kendall had experienced more of over the past month or so than he ever thought he would in his entire life.

But it was what James wanted. And whatever James wanted, Kendall wanted to give.

Only he wasn't entirely sure if this was a good idea as it sounded.

"So," he began, double-checking. "You want us to date on the DL, deny everything, just claim to be friends, and pretty much just hope for the best?" He got a nod in response. "You realize that's insane, right?"

An amused grin broke out on the pop star's face, eyes sparkling. "Yup."

The teen snorted, eyes rolling as he shook his head. "So why do it?" he questioned, wanting to know the other male's motives, what the hell the point of it was. It wasn't that he was fishing for compliments or wanted his ass kissed. He wasn't looking to be told that he was amazing and perfect and awesome, oh my! He wasn't waiting to be told that the other male just couldn't live without him and would do anything to keep him in his life—although it would be nice to hear. He just wanted an explanation that would allow him to understand the singer's way of thinking and why he truly believed this was the way to do things.

What he got wasn't the three little words he was still hoping to hear, but for the time being, they were just as perfect.

"Be crazy together."