A/N: Imagine what would happen if the crew had opposite personalities… Some of the scenes jump around xD I added something at the end so if you read it the first day I put it out then you missed it :/

Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece.

Warnings: Exaggeration, humor, OOC-ness obviously, slight Zoro/Sanji, slight Sanji/some of the men, very badly written but I tried my best!

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Opposite Personalities

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If the crew had opposite personalities, then… Sanji would be a man-nizer…

"Oh, Zoro you handsome hunk, you!" Crooned Sanji when he noticed Zoro walking into the Galley.

Zoro would be diligent and un-lazy…

"Hey Sanji, I was just wondering if you had anything to do in here." remarked Zoro. "I'm itching to do something."

"Those magnificent sexy muscles…" Sanji had a nosebleed and fainted due to the fact that Zoro was again, shirtless.

"…Sanji?"

Usopp would be modest…

"Hey, Usopp, did you finish making that new weight I requested?" asked Zoro as he approached Usopp in his workshop.

"Of course, here you go. I didn't do anything at all, you were the one that suggested the idea so you don't have to thank me." replied Usopp modestly.

"…but I didn't th-"

"No, no." said Usopp waving one hand casually. "You did everything, you don't have to thank me. Instead I should thank you for requesting me to make it and put what measly skills I have to work."

"…"

Nami would be generous and nice…

"Nami, can I borrow two million beri to buy that cool rock over there?" asked Usopp as nice as he could while he pointed to a very shiny rock on display in the market they were currently touring.

"Of course!" replied Nami and shifted through her wallet. "Wait…I'm sorry Usopp, but it seems that I only have 1,999,999 beri…Will that be enough?"

"Yes, I'll just bargain with the shop owner."

Nami happily handed the money to Usopp.

Robin would be energetic and happy…

"Woohoo! This is so much fun!" screamed Robin as she used her Devil fruit powers to swing back and forth; a rope made of hands attached to the wood the sail was on.

"Why don't you join me, Luffy?"

Luffy would be quiet and composed…

"No, thank you, Robin. I prefer to read this book in peace and quiet." replied Luffy who was sitting on one of the chairs on deck, reading a book.

But he would still be an idiot…

"Luffy, that book is upside down!" screamed Robin as she swung all the way back, causing her to glide over the ocean for a moment.

"I-I knew that." grumbled Luffy back as he flipped the book back into its correct position.

Franky would be shy…

Franky peeked at Sanji from behind the Galley door shyly. He really wanted a cola but he didn't know how to ask.

"You can come in, Franky." said Sanji as he flipped the eggs he was cooking.

"H-how did you know I was there?" Franky asked timidly as he walked in and edged toward the refrigerator.

"My sexy man detector." replied Sanji.

"W-what?" said Franky, one hand poised above a bottle of cola.

Chopper would be uncaring and actually enjoy compliments properly…

"Here. A bandage." Chopper slapped the bandage on Sanji's cut and went back to reading his medicine book.

"Oh, Chopper! You are so wonderful and caring!" Sanji swooned as he tried his best to noodle dance but the three feet cut across his chest was making it very difficult; especially since he had lost a lot of blood.

"Pft." Chopper puffed out his chest and said "I know I am, now scram. You're bleeding all over my floor."

And Brooke would be a real gentleman…

"Ah, Nami-san your seat has a speck of dust on it, let me do the honors." said Brooke who was passing by and happened to see the dust.

"Why thank you Brooke." gushed Nami.

Brooke bent down on one knee, and using the handkerchief in his breast pocket, he carefully wiped the dust away. Nami stood right next to him and he could have sawn her panties if he just shifted his head a little bit to the right but like the gentleman he was, the thought never crossed his mind.

But some things just never change…except maybe his taste in undergarments…

Brooke stood back up and Nami sat in her seat, sipping her orange juice.

Nami noticed Brooke wasn't leaving and asked him "Is there something you want?"

Brooke then answered "May I see your…bra?"

Of course, being the nice person Nami was, she took off her bra and gave it to Brooke.

He experienced the biggest nosebleed in his entire life. (Though he doesn't have blood! Yohohoho! Skull Joke!)

fin

A/N: Crappy, I know. This is like, the shortest thing I've ever written. Ugh. If the Straw-hat crew really was like this then I would freak. Imagining them like this is just so creepy. But I just wanted to do a quick 'what if' scenario xD Please review! And if you want, maybe you can tell me which one you liked best? :)

This is like, the FIRST thing I've ever written that doesn't have Zoro/Sanji! Oh...wait...