11/4/2014 - 270 Reviews, 218 Favorites, 236 Followers

Failed Reset Chapter 36 Soundtrack - lifesbutawalkingshadow

1) Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni OST - Kikai

Revelant points of recap:

- Tobi has been recruiting

- Deidara, Hanzo and Kushimaru are from the future

- Kushimaru and Ameyuri are really screwed up in the head

- Orochimaru has been experimenting on Hidan

Chapter Thirty Six: Assemble

(Kimosaro Sound Base - Land of Sound)

Ameyuri looked at the torch.

The torch didn't move.

She continued to stare.

It continued to not move.

Ameyuri reached out, plucking the torch out of its bracket on the wall. Lifting the torch to her mouth, she slowly closed her lips around the flaming head.

The woman watching her from around the corner screamed and fled. Ameyuri felt parts of her mouth melt, then reform. The torch died.

She pulled the torch out, and grinned. Damn, Edo Tensei was awesome! She was going to freak out so many children!

But enough of this. She had a meeting to attend.

Ameyuri sauntered down the corridor. The door to their room was open. She stepped through, then stopped dead in her tracks.

Kushimaru's limp body hung in the center of the room, suspended from a ceiling mount by a noose around his neck. His tongue hung out of his mouth, and his eyes stared at nothing.

Well. That was quite a thing to return to.

Ameyuri cocked her head to the side. "Kushimaru, what are you doing?"

Kushimaru's eyes regained focus, flicking down to settle on her.

"I dunno." he said. "I wanted to know what it was like to be hung."

"Huh." Ameyuri thought about this for a second, then shrugged. "Eh, makes sense. How is it?"

Kushimaru grinned. "As it turns out, really comfortable. I could almost go to sleep."

She flicked his leg. "'Cept we don't sleep anymore."

Kushimaru sighed. "And isn't that just the kicker? If I ever meet the guy who designed this, I'm going to punch him right in the tooth. That'll learn 'im."

"Hm. Well, I think we can all attest to the cathartic powers of desecrating corpses." Ameyuri looked around the room. The floor was covered in bits of rope. "So I can't help but notice that there are failed nooses lying everywhere. Apparently you, sir, are a crappy ropesmith."

Kushimaru yanked his neck out of the noose, then dropped to the ground. "Yes, well, I don't usually hang people. I guess I'm more of a sharp instrument sort of guy."

Ameyuri blinked. "Oh. Dark."

"Hm?"

"Well, uh, you did actually spend about ten years serial killing people with sharp instruments, remember?" she pointed at Nuibari, which hung at his side. "It's kind of your thing."

"Argh!" Kushimaru put his hands to his head. "Why? Guilt! So much guilt! Why would you say something like that?"

Ameyuri shrugged. "I dunno, it just seemed like the best course of action at the time. And pretty much everyone you killed was an enormous prick."

He pointed an accusing finger at her. "You serial killed people too, remember! You don't see me bringing that up!"

"Pretty much everyone I killed was an enormous prick too. Besides, we were crazy. Crimes don't count if you're crazy." she nodded sagely. "I think that's a law somewhere."

Ameyuri was a big fan of open expression. She'd spent most of her life bottling things up and being generally lonely, so now that she had someone to word-splurge at, she took every opportunity to do so.

"Still!" he prodded her chest. "What gives you the right to walk in here and turkey slap me with your guilt-hammer?"

Ameyuri clicked her tongue. "That... is not what turkey slap means."

"Oh. Ooh. Right. Okaaay then." he sucked air in between his teeth. "It's still a valid point, though."

Ameyuri was about to respond, when a thought struck her. "Kushimaru... I think we're being cute."

He blinked, and a look of mild horror crossed his face. "Oh God, I think you're right! Quick, stab me in the head!"

Ameyuri yanked one of her blades out of its sheath, drew it back, and shoved it into his eye. There was a crunch. Kushimaru stumbled back, then gave a relieved sigh. "Ahh. Much better."

He nodded happily, the sword still sticking out of his face. "Good work. I thought we were in trouble for a second there."

"Oh." Ameyuri said. "I have an idea. Pull out Nuibari, and hold it out straight."

Kushimaru did so. Ameyuri knelt down in front of the long blade, leaned forward, and shoved her head backwards as hard as she possibly could.

The tip punched through the back of her skull, then came forward through her forehead. She pushed herself back along the blade until she felt the handle tap against her head, then stood up.

She pointed up at the sword that was sticking out of her head. "Check it out! Rhinoceros!"

Kushimaru laughed so hard that he almost fell to the floor. "Ahahahaha! That's... I know! Quick, give me the other sword!"

Ameyuri tossed him the second half of Kiba. Kushimaru yanked the first sword out of his eye, then rammed both through the back of his head so that one came out of each of his eyes.

He jumped forward. "Knife eye attack!"

Ameyuri laughed, and tried to leap to the side, but she wasn't fast enough. Kushimaru stumbled forward, and they tumbled backwards, landing on the mattress. Ameyuri lay on his chest, Nuibari shoved through Kushimaru's sternum.

"Can we... actually fight people like this?" she whispered. "Just once?"

Kushimaru sighed. "My eyeballs have swords sticking out of them. We'll see."

Ameyuri reached up and pulled Nuibari out of the back of her head. She put it on the ground, then let herself relax into him, resting her head on his chest. "You know this is unbelievably fucked up, right?"

Kushimaru reached up and pulled the blades of Kiba out of his eyes. "Oh, absolutely."

His arms encircled her, pulling her tight. Ameyuri closed her eyes. It was an odd feeling, this. She couldn't smell anything, or taste anything, or feel heat, or pain. But she could feel him, and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. And for once, she didn't feel the need to stab the sappiness away. That statement stood.

Kushimaru sighed. "You know, we should probably go do that meeting thing."

But it was so comfortable here.

"Yeah, I guess." Ameyuri said. She pushed herself up off his chest.

He slid out from under her, grabbed her by the front of her shirt, and kissed her. "Okay, done. Time to go make friends."

She looked over at the two red cloaks that were hanging next to the door. "We wearing the cloaks?"

He shot her a look of feigned astonishment. "Of course! Those cloaks are brilliant."

Ameyuri slipped on a cloak. Kushimaru put on his mask. Back when he'd been in sociopath mode, he'd worn it because he was sick of having to hide the raw disgust he felt towards the rest of humanity. Now, he just wore it because he liked it.

They walked out into the corridor, heading deeper into the base. Today was the day they got to meet the people they'd be working with. Ameyuri was honestly curious as to who Tobi had managed to round up.

They reached an ornate-looking metal door, patterned with golden snakes eating their own tails. Kushimaru snickered, then pushed the door open and stepped inside.

It was a fairly large room, well lit, with a number of chairs scattered throughout.

The room was currently occupied by eight people, and an unbelievable amount of tension. Two people, she recognized instantly. The first was Kisame. He stood alone, his eyes closed and his head resting back against a wall. The second was Deidara. He was seated on one of the chairs, talking quietly to another man.

The rest, Ameyuri had never met. The one sitting next to Deidara was a man in his twenties, with shaggy black hair, dark eyes, and a two grooves stretching down from the inside corners of his eyes to the center of his cheeks. He seemed to be amused, because his mouth was stretched into a wide smirk. Nearby, a pale, immaculately-groomed woman sat on another of the chairs. Her face was completely blank, and her eyes were unfocused. A fourth chair was occupied by a bald, older man with a goatee, who muttered to himself as he stared up at the ceiling.

There was a slim, brown haired young woman leaning up against the wall near the door, her broken, rusted armor a sharp contrast to the perfectly groomed appearance of the first woman. She looked utterly lost as to what she should be doing, her body language screaming edginess and discomfort. Finally, two more men were conversing in the center of the room. One was short, with freakily-white skin, white hair, red eyes and a nifty-looking poncho. His hands were in his pockets, and he was hunched into himself, like he was carrying a metal bar on his shoulders.

And the other was freaking Hanzo of the Salamander. What.

Hanzo seemed to recognize them. He nodded cordially in their direction, wariness visible on his face. "Welcome."

Kushimaru threw his arms wide, flicking on his exuberance switch. "Hey! So, this is the thing, huh? We're in the right room?"

Hanzo blinked, taken aback. "Yes, you're in the right room."

"I dunno. This doesn't look like Wobbegong Bill's Playtime Funhouse and Cockfighting Parlour to me." Ameyuri said, narrowing her eyes for comical effect. "This doesn't look like Wobbegong Bill's Playtime Funhouse and Cockfighting Parlour at all!"

"Oh well." Kushimaru slumped his shoulders. "Guess we'll just leave, then."

The turned towards the door in unison, then stopped.

"I, uh, didn't really think this far ahead." Kushimaru whispered. "Sorry."

"That's okay." Ameyuri whispered back. "My fault too."

They turned back around to face Hanzo, who hadn't moved.

"Pretend the last twenty seconds didn't happen." Ameyuri said. "I'm Ameyuri Ringo, this is Kushimaru Kuriarare. Pleasure to meet you, Hanzo of the Salamander."

"We've met before, actually." Kushimaru interjected. "At that thing."

That thing. So they'd met in the future, after they'd been resurrected to fight for Madara Uchiha and before Kushimaru had had his memories yanked back to now.

Hanzo nodded slowly. "We did. You seemed... different."

Vagueness was good. Tobi didn't want the time-travel thing openly discussed.

"Oh, how so?" Kushimaru asked, interested.

"You seemed a lot less friendly." Hanzo said. He turned to Ameyuri. "And you repeatedly shouted at me that I wasn't your type."

"Urgh." Ameyuri put a hand to her face. "Seriously? I did the 'type' thing? I hate the 'type' thing!"

Kushimaru put a hand on her arm. "We all do. But actually, yeah, now that I think about it, I was kind of a dick. Sorry, Hanzo."

"I'm not overly bothered." Hanzo said. The corners of his lips curled up in amusement. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

Ameyuri twirled around to face the smaller man, who hadn't said anything yet. "Quiet guy! What's your schtick?"

The man jumped. "Um, hi, um... my, your... my schtick?"

"Yyyyup." Ameyuri grinned at him. "Your schtick."

"Umm..." he gave an uneasy, nervous laugh. "My, um, well, I'm... I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean."

Kushimaru flicked her. "Cut that out."

He turned to the man.

"What's your name?" he said, lowering his energy significantly.

"I'm... Hiruko." the other guy replied.

Kushimaru held out a hand. "Kushimaru. Pleasure."

Ameyuri held back a sigh. Hiruko was nervous, and their high-energy, high-intensity demenour has intimidated him, so Kushimaru had cooled it down, because that was the sort of person he was. But Ameyuri didn't want to have to spend today tuning herself in to the nerves of a stranger. That would be annoying. Hopefully, Kushimaru would snap back soon.

"Hiruko, huh?" she said. "Can I just say, that is a nice poncho. Where's it from?"

"I, um, I don't remember." Hiruko muttered. He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small, metal tin. "Would you like a peppermint? Would, um, would anyone else?"

"Ooh, tempting." Kushimaru said. "Unfortunately, my sense of taste sort of died recently, so no thanks."

"Eh, I'll take one." Ameyuri said, plucking it out of the tin. "Thanks."

She slipped it into her pocket. Later on, she'd cut a hole in her leg and try storing it inside. Damn, but Edo Tensei was cool.

"So, what do we think's behind the mask?" Ameyuri asked.

Hanzo and Hiruko looked at her quizzically, then turned towards Kushimaru.

Kushimaru sighed. "Not my mask. That's boring. She means Tobi's mask."

"Oh." Hiruko rubbed his eyes. "I've never really thought about it."

Hanzo thought about it. "He's fairly insistent on keeping it on. I respect his privacy."

"Really? You're not even curious?" Kushimaru said.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow. "Are you really one to talk?"

"Yes, look at me, cunningly disguised as Kushimaru Kuriare!" Kushimaru quickly flipped the bottom of the mask up and down. "See? Boring."

"Well, I wouldn't say boring..." Ameyuri chimed in.

Kushimaru raised his hands. "Okay, yes, I am also very pretty. But point is, I'm not trying to hide anything. For all we know, Tobi is a genetically engineered purple chicken."

"What?" Hiruko looked utterly lost.

Ameyuri leveled a finger at him. "Where will you be when the purple chickens attack?"

Hanzo shook his head. "Why purple?"

"I think you already know that, Mr Of The Salamander," Kushimaru leaned in extremely close, affecting a suspicious tone, "if that's even your real name."

Hanzo stepped back. "...Were you always this odd, or is it a recent thing?"

"Ignore these guys, Kushimaru." Ameyuri said. "I think we need a second opinion."

Ameyuri quickly looked over at the rest of the room. Deidara and shaggy-hair were still in conversation; Deidara had evidently just said something funny, because the other man was doubled over in laughter. The redhead still had those weird, lifeless eyes, and Ameyuri noticed that she had what appeared to be a human finger sticking out of one of her pockets. The bald man was still muttering to himself. It didn't seem like approaching either would give favorable results.

That left Kisame, and the girl in the broken armor. She'd get to Kisame in a minute, but the girl seemed to be listening in to their conversation anyway, so she seemed like a good candidate.

Ameyuri pulled on Kushimaru's coat, then bounded over to her. "You! Is our glorious leader actually a chicken in a human suit? The world needs to know!"

Armor-girl was severely taken aback, but managed to avoid sliding into Hiruko-like stuttering, which was nice. "I don't... yes?"

"Mm, thought so." Ameyuri said. "It seemed like the most likely option."

"So, what's your name?" Kushimaru inquired, moving around so that he was on the opposite side of the woman to Ameyuri.

"Fugai." Fugai said, still clearly on edge

"Cool." he said. "And tell me Fugai, what brings you to our lovable band of misfits?"

"She kills things, then drinks their blood and licks their corpses."

Fugai stiffened. Deidara was walking towards them, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Shaggy-hair trailed behind him.

"It's mostly sheep, but sometimes it's people." Deidara announced. "Trust me, it's weird as hell."

Fugai went bright red, and Ameyuri could see the humiliation in her eyes. Deidara looked smug. What a dick.

Kushimaru stepped in front of Fugai, shielding her.

"Sir. I will not stand idly by as you insult the noble, time-honored tradition of licking sheep." he proclaimed, pointing a damning finger at Deidara.

Ameyuri joined him. "I will have you know, sir, that my father was a sheep licker, and my father's father, and his father before that. For shame, sir, for shame!"

Kushimaru stamped his feet. "Yeah!"

"In fact," Ameyuri continued, "why don't we go lick a sheep right now? Come on Fugai, let's blow this joint."

Amyuri grabbed Fugai's left arm, Kushimaru grabbed her right, and they span her around and dragged her through the door. As they went, Ameyuri caught a glimpse of the reactions of the people inside. Deidara looked dumfounded, Hanzo's face was blank, Hiruko just looked generally anxious, and shaggy-hair actually looked kind of amused.

They got out into the hallway, kicked the door shut, and released Fugai, who had been too shocked to resist.

For a while, they just stood there. Then, Kushimaru rubbed the back of his head. "Okay, um, we should probably actually go back inside, we kind of have to go to that meeting."

"But hey," Ameyuri looked Fugai in the eye, "Pep talk time. Don't get, like, all kind of defensive and stuff about whatever you have going on. Deidara can probably tell when the stuff he says is effective, and he's a massive dick, so he'll take advantage of it. From what I can see, the rest of us are all as screwed up as you are. Oh, and I'm Ameyuri, by the way."

"Kushimaru." Kushimaru said. "Pleasure."

Fugai took a deep breath, needing a moment to process everything that had been thrown at her. "...Thank you? I didn't really need the help, but..."

"Didn't say you did!" Kushimaru chimed in. "We're just happy to give it!

There were a whole lot of emotions battling for dominance on Fugai's face, but Ameyuri could detect some gratitude.

"It's not like what he said, you know. It's..." Fugai sighed, struggling to get the words out. "You can't really know, but..."

"Cut that out, you. Believe me, we are not people easily put off by weirdness." Ameyuri grabbed her shoulders. "And Fugai, when you doubt yourself, you are letting the chickens win. Don't let the chickens win, Fugai, okay?"

"...Okay." Fugai gave a small smile. "Can't let that happen."

"Exactly. Exactly!" Kushimaru exclaimed. "But we really should also be getting back in there."

"Yup." Ameyuri said. "In we go."

She pushed open the door and walked back inside. Deidara was still standing there, and he looked annoyed.

Ameyuri walked right up to him. "Deidara! We haven't talked much, what's up with you recently? You seem to have two arms again, which must be nice."

He glared at her. "You think you're just hilarious, don't you, yeah?"

"No, I'm serious." she said. "What have I missed? Done anything exciting? You create those clay artworks, don't you? I don't think I've seen them yet."

"You want to see my art?" Deidara smirked, then his hand whipped down to his pocket. "Fine!"

His hand shot up in front of her face, and Ameyuri just had time to see two tiny dragons fly into the air before Deidara shouted something. "Katsu!"

There was a bang, and the dragons exploded into little clouds of smoke. Had she been flesh and blood, the detonation would have deafened her.

Ameyuri was Edo Tensei now though, and Edo Tensei sensory inputs worked differently.

She grinned. "That is really cool. Were those dragons?"

Deidara seemed momentarily taken aback, before realization dawned on him. "Edo Tensei, hn."

"Damn, I wish regular art was that cool. How do you do that?" she asked, injecting excitement into her voice. "Is it, like, a natural talent, or can it be learnt?"

"It's a bloodline." Deidara said. "Chakra-infused clay."

"Heh, I wonder what happened to the guy who first discovered it." she laughed. "Do you know who it was? Did he blow his hands off?"

"Mm, it was the very first true artist, Katsuhiko Kawamoto. It was back in the era of the warring clans. He was pretty careful." Deidara snickered. " One of his apprentices, though, a guy named Ai, swallowed the clay and accidentally wiped out half the clan."

"Wow, yeah, I can see that being a problem." Ameyuri said. "Know any other cases?"

"Oh yeah." he said. "Dozens."

This was obviously a topic of some fascination to Deidara, because he began rattling off an extensively-detailed list of names and events. He obviously enjoyed her interest, which was of course Ameyuri's intention. Not that she didn't find the topic interesting; far from it. But Deidara was dangerous as hell, and if push came to shove, she wanted them to be on good terms.

She wouldn't push too hard with the flattery, though. That sort of approach had never appealed to her; it just made her feel like a groveling toady.

There was a groan to her left. Ameyuri looked around to see Kushimaru holding a hand to his face, his forehead wrinkling in discomfort.

Ho boy. She knew that look; it was neuro-shift time. Hopefully, it wouldn't be anxiety or psychosis this time.

Ameyuri tensed, waiting for the familiar burning sensation.

Nothing came.

Kushimaru straightened. Ameyuri looked at him, mouth pursing in confusion. The shifts had been happening less since their resurrection, but Kushimaru and Ameyuri got them together, within a few seconds of each other. They always got them together.

"Kushimaru, can you hear me? Can you speak?" she said.

Kushimaru closed his eyes.

"I... hear... your, uh, your... no. My... can't..." It was obviously very difficult for him to form the words, and Ameyuri could feel his frustration. "Voice. I, voice... voice, voice... can't say... voice."

Something must have been knocked loose. Between the time travel and the Edo Tensei, she probably shouldn't have been surprised.

Deidara had gone quiet. In fact, Kushimaru had the attention of most of the room.

"Voice. I... voice."

It was weird being on the outside. She had to narrow the disorder down. Something was wrong with Kushimaru's ability to speak, which hopefully meant that he wasn't psychotic.

"What's wrong with him?" Hiruko asked.

"Shh. I need to concentrate." Ameyuri reached into her pocket and pulled out a small notepad and a pencil. She had her 'business' setting on now.

"Okay, Kushimaru, I'm going to draw some objects on this page." she said. "In a second, I'm going to ask you some questions. Nod if you understand."

Kushimaru closed his mouth, and gave a single nod.

Ameyuri quickly sketched out five objects on the page; a shuriken, a kunai, a bowl, a tree and a door. She held the piece of paper up. "Use your hands to indicate how many items I've drawn out."

Kushimaru held up a hand, and uncurled all five fingers.

"Good." Ameyuri said. "Now, one of those objects is a kunai. Point to it."

Kushimaru did so, correctly.

"Correct. Now, point to the object most similar to the kunai."

He pointed to the shuriken.

"Name it."

Kushimaru opened his mouth. No words came out.

All right. She was homing in.

"Give the name of the first object you pointed to."

A pause. "...Knife."

"Repeat after me. The big text elucidated the indescribable malevolence of the character's soul."

"The text..." Kushimaru sucked in a breath. "Show the... knife... the soul."

She wrote the words 'an eight-bladed shuriken with a five-pointed star-shaped hole at the center' on a new page. "And finally, I want you to draw me this picture, and write the sentence 'The big text elucidated the indescribable malevolence of the character's soul'."

Kushimaru took the piece of paper. Thirty seconds later, she was presented with the sentence that she had requested, and a crappy drawing of an eight-pointed, star-holed throwing star.

"Right, got it." she said. "You're Cog-C-dash.

'Probably.' Kushimaru wrote. 'Could be worse.'

"Hey, explain what's going on, un." Deidara demanded.

Ameyuri turned to other five people who were paying attention. "It's... well, some stuff happened a while back, and it really screwed over our heads. We get mental disorders now."

"You get them? What do you mean?" Hanzo inquired.

"Okay, it's not so much that we get them as that we cycle through them. The mental illnesses appear, stick around for five minutes or an hour or a day, and then they just disappear." Ameyuri shrugged. "Yeah, it's weird. In this case, Kushimaru appears to have Cog-C-dash, so a kind of aphasia, probably related to semantics."

"Oh come, surely you can be a touch more specific than that." Shaggy-hair stepped out from behind Deidara, his lips curved into an ever-so-slightly patronizing smirk. "You just did all those tests."

Hm. He looked like he'd recognized some of the terms. The rest of them just looked lost, though some hid it better than others.

"Mm-hm?" Ameyuri put her hands on her hips. "You have some ideas? Please, go ahead, Mr..."

The smile widened. "Shiranami. Pleasure. If I could have the pad..."

Ameyuri held out the pad. Shiranami took it.

"Right then." Shiranami said. There was a swagger to his movements. "I'm seeing two major types of errors in his speech; he's perseverating, and he's making semantic errors. Now, this is important, because all the words that he's saying are complete, actual words. He's not making up his own words, he's not pronouncing 'malevolent' as 'matobolnen', he's just either getting them wrong, or he's skipping them altogether. This means that the issue is a semantic one, rather than a phonological one."

Okay. She had to admit, this guy seemed to have a fairly decent grasp of the subject. Aphasia was a disorder where you had trouble forming and speaking language. The errors in speech could be broadly classified under two major groups. The first was to do with phenomes and word sounds, where you made up or garbled words ('shinobi' might become 'shaggotie'). The second was to do with word forms and meanings, where you generally spoke with existing words but got them wrong ('dog' becoming 'cat').

"So, it's a word meaning thing, cool." Shiranami continued. "Sometimes, he just can't find the right word, so he doesn't say anything; other times, he gets stuck on the same word, or perseverating. There was actually a point where a word from an earlier response, 'knife', got used in another answer; even more perseverating. But it goes deeper than that. Several of the things that you made him do; drawing a picture of a shuriken, pointing out the kunai, getting him to write out that sentence; those were all intended to test whether he was actually comprehending words correctly. You wanted to test if, when he heard or read a word like 'shuriken', whether he would register it as 'shuriken', or whether he would comprehend it as something like 'star' or 'weapon' instead. And to the delight of all, he passed with flying colors. The mistakes he made also tended to be semantically-linked: from 'kunai' to 'knife'."

Ameyuri looked at Kushimaru, who gave an indifferent shrug.

"So," Shiranami started counting each point on a finger, "semantic errors but flawless comprehension, skipped words and pauses, perseveration, the words that are substituted in tend to be similar to the ones that can't be recalled, and no evidence of phonological errors. The obvious conclusion; his phonological output lexicon is busted, and he's got word form impairment. Done."

There was a moment of silence.

Fugai shook her head. "What?"

Yeah, that all sounded pretty well thought-out. Lexica-semantic difficulties could be divided into two subcategories, problems with actually understanding the words when you heard, read, or tried to speak them, and problems in successfully retrieving the correct word from your mental lexicon when you wanted to use them. Ameyuri had never come across the term 'phonological output lexicon' before, but it made sense in context.

It was, however, very unusual to come across people with that sort of depth of knowledge. Maybe things had changed since she'd been dead. Generally, though, if a shinobi decided to educate themselves about mental illness, it was about the ones that could actually affect them, like psychosis or schizophrenia. If one of your teammates was psychotic, they might slit your throat while you slept. If they were aphasiac, not so much. If they were aphasiac, they had trouble talking, or at worst, difficulty following orders.

"Wow, you know some real fancy terms there, Shiranami." Deidara gave Shiranami a hard pat on the shoulder, with more force than was friendly. "Aren't you just a precious little snowflake, un."

Evidently, Deidara didn't appreciate having large amounts of jargon flung at him.

"I don't know." Hiruko rubbed his arm. "I think it's pretty impressive."

"Okay then." Ameyuri raised her hands. "Does anyone else here have any weirdly specific psychiatric knowledge that they'd like to share with the rest us? No? Right! Tell me, Mr Shiranami, why exactly do you know all this stuff?"

Shiranami made a small noise of amusement. "It's interesting. I read."

"You read, huh?" Ameyuri leaned in, laying on the suspicion.

She grinned, flipping back into enthusiasm mode. "Makes sense! You read!"

She span around to face the rest of the group. "Does anyone else have any hobbies? We could totally start a club!"

For a second, nobody responded. Then Fugai spoke, somewhat apologetically. "I like nature walks."

"Exactly! Perfect!" Ameyuri gestured towards her. "See? You are on the ball here! We could read books, and go on walks, and Deidara could be the team artist and explode things, and we could get that muttering bald guy over there to bring snacks!"

The atmosphere had changed. When she'd arrived, everything had been tense as hell, with everyone kind of quiet and suspicious. Now, she, Kushimaru, Deidara, Hanzo, Hiruko and Fugai were all standing in a conversation circle, chatting it up like the best of friends. Admittedly, she was doing almost all the talking now that Kushimaru was out of commission, and the others were still wary, but it was still a nice change.

Kisame was still over by the wall with his eyes closed. Ameyuri called out to him. "Hey! Kisame! Get over here, I need your advice on something!"

Kisame's eyes flickered open, and he pushed himself up off the wall and walked over. Hiruko gave a jump, and shrank back.

"Yes, what is it?" Kisame said.

"I'm thinking of starting up a club with these guys, and I'm trying to figure out what our activities should be." Ameyuri replied. Got any input?"

Kisame nodded. "I think you're an idiot, and that under no circumstances should these people do what you say."

Ameyuri put a hand to her mouth. "An idiot? I am shocked, Kisame, shocked that you would use such fucking foul language. Fugai, back me up."

A second later, she realized that having Fugai criticize or insult Kisame might not be a good idea. Fugai opened her mouth to speak, but Ameyuri cut her off. "Actually, nevermind. I..."

She never got to finish her sentence, because the doors to the room were loudly flung open, and a shrill voice pierced her eyes. "All right! Listen up!"

Ameyuri turned around to look. There was a woman standing in the doorframe, with bright pink hair, green eyes, and a black suit of body armor. If Deidara and Shiranami had looked smug, this woman looked positively haughty, her lip curled into a disdainful sneer.

She strode into the room, boots clacking on the floor. The door clicked shut behind her.

"You have all been recruited as members of Ketsueki Yuuyake. My name is Fubuki Kakuyoku. I," Fubuki sniffed, "will be taking command. Everything you do, every action you take, is to go through me."

Ooh. This was a new development.

"I don't know why Tobi decided to recruit," Fubuki's eyes lingered on Kisame for a second, "individuals like you to his cause, but I will not question his choices. In the same way, you will not question mine. Together, as a team, we can achieve victory, but only if you obey my orders to the letter."

This was going to be good. Ameyuri wished she had a bucket of popcorn.

"Now, I'm sure many of you currently have some unsavory traits that are incompatible with my leadership. As a result, certain behaviours will be prohibited. I intend to implement a dress code, as well as a strict code of conduct, which you will be receiving within the next few days." Fubuki tapped her armor. "And if you ever think about disobeying me, remember this. This armor that I am wearing has the ability to absorb your chakra. Any justu you use would be rendered useless by its power. Challenge me, and you will..."

"Hey, hey, come on."

Fubuki stopped mid-stride. Hiruko stepped out in front of her, his arms spread placatingly. "Come on, none of us are enemies here, there's no need to start threatening people."

"Hmph." Fubuki crossed her arms. "And who might you be?"

"I'm, um, I'm Hiruko." Hiruko said, looking down at the floor.

"Hiruko." Fubuki nodded. "Hm."

Suddenly, Fubuki reared back and shoved Hiruko hard in the chest. Hiruko tumbled to the floor, a cry of shock and pain bursting out of his mouth.

Fubuki placed the heel of her foot onto Hiruko's chest, and drove it down.

"You will not interrupt me while I am speaking." she declared. "And that goes for the rest of you as well. Am I clear?"

Nobody was speaking. They were all just staring at her, with varying degrees of disbelief, irritation and amusement. The sheer audacity of the woman was too much.

Fubuki turned to the redhead with the lifeless eyes. "Nice hair. Very bold for your age."(1)

And the eyes snapped back into focus.

Next to Ameyuri, Fugai swallowed. "Fuka."

Slowly, deliberately, Fuka got to her feet. Her face had a small, sweet smile on it that sent chills down Ameyuri's spine.

Fubuki raised chin. "Do you have something to say?"

Her eyes never leaving Fubuki's, Fuka leisurely stretched out her arm and placed it on Fubuki's left wrist.

Fubuki's eyes boggled, and she reached down with her free arm to remove Fuka's grasp. "What do..."

Like a viper, Fuka's other hand darted through the air and curled around Fubuki's other wrist. Yanking it down, she pressed Fubuki's wrists up against each other and held them together with a single hand. A single hand, which Ameyuri noted had freakishly long fingers.

"What... what are you doing?" Fubuki was losing her cool now, her voice starting to waver.

Fuka didn't respond, didn't even register Fubuki's words. Instead, she reached across with her free hand and placed it on Fubuki's armored left upper arm. Then, her grip tightened, and her nails punched through the metal like paper. She started to pull.

The sound of screeching metal filled the air. Fubuki struggled, but Fuka held her wrists in an iron grasp. Slowly, as if she had all the time in the world, Fuka dragged the metal down like a sheet, ripping the armor open from shoulder to wrist.

Fubiki started thrashing around, trying to kick Fuka. It didn't work

"Get her off, get her off, get her off!" Fubuki squealed.

Deidara put his hands in his pockets and sauntered over. "Well, you said you were going to lead us, yeah?"

Fubuki started nodding frantically. "Yes yes yes, that's right, so..."

"So lead us, commander. Show us your skills, hmm." Deidara spread his arms wide, revealing the hands on his palms. "You wouldn't need help from a lowly subordinate like me, would you?"

Fuka finished tearing through the armour, lifting a long, jagged strip of metal into the air and letting it clatter to the ground.

Fuka reached down through the gaping tear she'd created, and wrapped her hand around Fubuki's forearm. Ameyuri heard her whisper something. Coils of white steam started to drift out of the hole.

Fubuki threw her head back and screamed for all that she was worth. "Ahhh! Get off me, get off me! Please, get her off, get her off, get her off! Somebody stop her!"

Ameyuri could actually hear the sizzle of roasting flesh. It was unfortunate that Fubuki had capped her grand entrance off by driving her foot into Hiruko's stomach, otherwise Kushimaru might have intervened. As it was... he had a thing about bullies.

Also, wow, avoid Fuka at all costs. Fuuuck.

But someone did come to her rescue, from the most unexpected of places.

"Don't do this." Hiruko said quietly, walking over. "It'll look bad for all of us if you kill her before we've even met once. She might have some importance to Tobi, you could die too."

Fuka didn't verbally respond to Hiruko's plea. After a ten second pause, she just let go of Fubuki's arms, raised a hand, and drove her nails into Fubuki's cheek, ripping out a bloody chunk of flesh. Then, Fuka drove a fist into Fubuki's stomach, shoved her backwards, and sat back down. Her tiny smile remained unchanged. (1E)

Fubuki retched on the ground, blood and tears dripping down her face. In an instant, Hiruko was at her side. "Are you okay? Can I..."

Fubuki snarled, and drove an elbow into his nose, sending him reeling back. "Get the hell away from me!"

The woman scrabbled to her feet and made a run for the door. She was just about to reach the handle when it swung open, smacking her in the face and slamming her back into the wall. She hit it, and didn't move again.

Was she... unconscious? She was unconscious!

Ameyuri couldn't help it. She started laughing, in great gasping snorts. "Ahah... Ahahahahahaha! She... ahahahah!

Deidara started laughing too, and Shiranami was snickering. Kushimaru wasn't, but that was because he generally didn't like finding humor in people getting hurt. He didn't look particularly bothered by it either, though.

Then two people stepped through the door, and that made Ameyuri stop laughing.

One was a grey-haired young guy with a white patch over his left eye. More importantly, the second was Orochimaru of the Sannin.

Ameyuri locked eyes with Kushimaru, unspoken understanding passing between them. They may have been in Edo Tensei bodies, but Ameyuri didn't doubt that Orochimaru could still make them feel pain if he wanted. They had to be as boring and un-antagonistic as possible, which also meant not revealing that Kushimaru now had aphasia while she did not. Telling everyone about it had been a bad idea.

"I have important research to conduct." Orochimaru was saying. "My time..."

Orochimaru's eyes landed on her, and he stopped mid-sentence. He smiled. "Ah, my old experiments. How... pleasant to see you again."

"Hey, Lord Orochimaru, the same to you." Ameyuri said.

She watched Kushimaru out of the corner of her eye. Ameyuri didn't actually hold all that great a grudge against Orochimaru; he'd fucked up her head, but without him, she'd likely never have met and/or hooked up with Kushimaru. Kushimaru did. Orochimaru's experimentation had resulted in both of them doing some terrible things, and while it didn't really affect her all that much anymore, it sure as hell affected him.

But he was managing to hold it in. Good.

"The same to me? How nice." Orochimaru spread his arms. "Usually, former experiments react with much more energy."

Ameyuri shrugged. "Nope. Water under the bridge. Actually, I've had a great time."

"Hmm, what a refreshing change." Orochimaru hissed. "Don't worry, you're not my concern anymore. I've moved onto other things."

He turned towards Hiruko, who was crouched over the unconscious form of Fubuki. "And Hiruko too. This is quite the reunion we've got going on here."

Hiruko had just opened his mouth to respond when two things happened. The first was a familiar swish of air. Tobi had arrived.

The second was that Ameyuri became aware of two sets of clattering footsteps out in the hallway beyond. Tobi had just finished materializing in the center of the room when the doors swung open again, and two figures burst through.

The first was a young, black-haired man, eyes wide with fear. The second figure, a woman in a green dress, tackled him to the ground.

It was Guren! Base-administrator extraordinaire!

The man thrashed about, trying to break free. Guren grabbed his head, muttered something, and made a seal. There was a flash of light, and the man was encased from head-to-toe in pink crystal.

Guren pushed herself to her feet.

"Lord Orochimaru..." she panted. "Sasori... your bases... destroyed."

'Sasori your bases destroyed'. Well that didn't bode well. Tobi hadn't even had time to make a speech yet.

Anticipating the chaos that was about to descend, Ameyuri slid down onto one of the chairs, kicked her feet up, and sighed. Kushimaru joined her.

Never a dull moment in Ketsueki Yuuyake. That popcorn idea was sounding more enticing by the second.

xXx

(Orochimaru's Kimosaro Lab - Land of Sound)

Orochimaru leant over Hidan's body, scalpel in hand.

Whatever Sasori was doing, Kabuto and Tobi could handle it. His mind had to be reserved for more important things.

His bcl-2 experiments had proven fruitless; the Apaf-1 and capase-9 proteins could kill Hidan's cells, certainly, it just didn't have any effect on him.

Apoptosis didn't work. Nothing worked. But there was one approach he had yet to try.

Orochimaru snipped through the stitches that held Hidan's mouth closed. The man opened his mouth, presumably to swear at him, but the Sannin slapped a hand over it.

"Listen very carefully." Orochimaru hissed. "I am going to ask you some questions. If you answer them to my satisfaction, then the stitches don't go back on."

Hidan glowered at him, eyes dark with hatred and fury.

"Let's give it a try, shall we." Orochimaru removed the hand.

"I want you to tell me about this... Jashin of yours."

xXx

Interlude One - End

Deaths:

Ryuzetsu - Chapter 28 - Chest torn open, Compresed, Absorbed (Hiruko)

Ibiki Morino - Chapter 32 - Tortured to death (Unknown)

Komachi - Chapter 33 - Unknown (Unknown)

Mariko - Chapter 33 - Poisoned (Self/Suicide)

Vice-Daimyo of the Land of Earth - Chapter 33 - Blown Apart (Gari)

Shibuki - Chapter 33 - Slashed Throat (Takigakure Armed Forces)

Kazuma - Chapter 33 - Set Alight (Takigakure Armed Forces)

Fuen - Chapter 33 - Stabbed Repeatedly (Takigakure Armed Forces)

Fire Daimyo - Chapter 33 - Stabbed Repeatedly (Takigakure Armed Forces)

Michiru Tsuki - Chapter 33 - Unknown (Zetsu)

Hikaru Tsuki - Chapter 33 - Throttled, Consumed (Zetsu)

Teruo - Chapter 34 - Poisoned (Sasori)

Karin Uzumaki - Chapter 35 - Compressed, Absorbed (Hiruko)

New Factions (by Country):

Land of Earth:

Iwagakure (Pro-Daimyo):

- Dodai (leader)

Iwagakure (Anti-Daimyo):

- Gari (leader)

Haze Shinobi (Invasion Force)

Sugi Shinobi (Invasion Force)

Key Shinobi (Invasion Force)

Land of Lightning:

Southern Rebels (Revolutionaries)

- Shugo (quasi-leader)

The Prophesier's Followers (Religious Sect)

- Prophesier/Mathaios (leader)

- Tenga Kosuke

Land of Fire:

Takigakure Shinobi (Invasion Force)

- Raishi (leader)

- Hisame

- Suika

Other:

Vozdovac Triad (Criminal Syndicate)

- Nebosja (regional leader)

- Kurotsuchi

- Mahito

xXx

I now I said I wouldn't give one-shot characters death mentions, but these guys got their own POV scenes, so they deserve it.

Someone requested a list of different factions, and the end of this semi-arc seemed like a good place to put it. You don't, ah, have to remember all those, though.

This one also took a while. I really wanted to try and get that section on aphasia right, to the point where I was reading through scientific journals to try and figure out whether perseveration is a potential symptom of aphasia-related word form impairment.

Yeah. Sasori just started some shit.

You know, I once wondered why so many movies spent so long setting up the circumstances before the actual action took place. This is no longer the case, because it took me two hundred and sixty thousand words to do so here! That's insane!

You'd probably want to spend a little more time testing before you started diagnosing someone with a disorder, but in the interests of brevity, it was cut down.

'Knife eye attack' has its roots in the hilarious webcomic Dr Mcninja. They don't go quite this far there, though.

Okay, NOW we go to Shadow of Konoha. But I have to go write it first. In the interim, go watch the opening I made for it ("Failed Reset - Shadow Of Konoha [Naruto Opening MAD]")! It'll give you a vague idea of what to expect.

Thanks to ElementKitsune and erpastiche for the beta! And thank you to those who reviewed, and to Sage of wind Dragons for the message you sent!

Failed Reset is brought to you by the letter R: For Rinnegan!

Read and Review!