A few weeks ago I was asked to make a follow up story for Zig-zag and Cabin Fever, in which Megatron deals with the virus that our beloved hacker planted into the Nemesis. Well, when I originally wrote Zig-zag and Cabin Fever and the corresponding scenes in Valiant Spirits, I'd had in mind that Megatron was away from the warship during their rescue raid. So he would have missed most of the effects of the virus. Then I got to thinking that maybe the virus shouldn't end with Surfin' Bird but continue for several more hours (Zig-zag may be spazzy but he still is a technical genius), giving Megatron more than enough time to enjoy the lovely songs that Ziggy picked out. So without further ado, here's The Playlist of Madness.

Oh, for any first time readers, you may want to first read Zig-zag and Cabin Fever and part of Valiant Spirits otherwise this might be a little hard to follow.

I don't own transformers.

Lord Megatron was not in the most pleasant of moods. He was just returning from hunting a certain Starscream after scouts had reporting seeing the treacherous ex-second in command several miles east of the Nemesis' current position. It had turned out to be a false lead, or perhaps the slippery seeker had just managed to evade the Decepticon ruler. Either way, there'd be several Vehicons that would be walking around with missing limbs after Megatron was finished with them.

A distress signal from the Nemesis suddenly pinged on his sensors. Megatron doubled his speed, concerned that the Autobots had discovered the ship's location and were attempting to rescue their amnesiac leader. The gunmetal grey Cybertronian jet raced through the sky. As the Nemesis came into view, Megatron almost stopped in midair.

The warship was rocking.

The Nemesis creaked from side to side, seemingly of its own accord. Megatron let out a low growl; what had those idiot drones done now? He landed on the roof and transformed, staggering slightly when the ship tilted again. Megatron stormed inside, more than ready to dent a few helms.

"A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word.

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word.

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word.

A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word…"

"What in the pit is going on here?" Megatron demanded. He opened a comm link. :Soundwave, report.:

Static filled the other end.

:Breakdown, come in.:

:The birds…the birds…it won't stop…:

:Knockout!: Megatron roared over the comm.

:Uh, y-yes my Lord?:

:You have exactly five kliks to explain what—: Megatron stopped to brace himself against a wall as the ship tilted yet again. A Vehicon went rolling by, helm over pedes, and crashed into several others, knocking them down like they were a set of bowling pins. :What the frag happened to my ship?:

:Ah, well it seems that a virus has been uploaded into the Nemesis' systems, Sir.:

:Then get rid of it!: Megatron snarled.

:W-well, we've tried—are trying my Lord, but—:

:Where is Soundwave?:

Knockout's reply came timidly. :Um, he is currently unavailable at this time.:

:And why is that?: Megatron asked in a deadly hiss.

:Because his processor has crashed.:

The ship tilted again.

"A-well-a don't you know about the bird?

Well, everybody's talking about the bird.

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word.

A-well-a bird,

Surfin' Bird.

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, aaah

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow

Papa-ooma-mow-mow…"

:And Breakdown has just crashed.: Knockout practically squeaked over the link.

Megatron growled :Cut the power.:

:S-sir?:

:Did you not here me, you incompetent fool? Cut the power! Shut all systems down!:

:Yes, Lord Megatron.:

Moments later the power cut out, the ship stopped rocking, and, most importantly, the music stopped, cheering could be heard throughout the halls of the warship. The Nemesis shuddered as it hit the ground. Megatron walked through the silent halls, prying the door open to the communications room. There, Knockout was attempting to revive both Soundwave and Breakdown.

The medic jumped to his pedes. "Sir that was a most brilliant idea; cutting the power. A pure stroke of geniu—"

"Oh, quit your fawning, you're starting to sound like Starscream." Megatron rolled his optics. "Turn the power back on."

"Yes, sir."

The Nemesis rumbled to life, stabilizers lifting it off the ground.

"All systems are up and running, and appear to be secure." Knockout reported.

Breakdown groaned and slowly sat up. "Is it over?"

"It appears so." Knockout said.

"Good, I don't think I can take—" Breakdown froze when he saw the warlord. "L-lord Megatron! I can explain…"

"Oh can you, Breakdown?" Megatron asked, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

Breakdown stuttered. "Uh…well…not really, no Sir."

"I thought not." Megatron turned to the Medic. "Knockout, I want you to revive Soundwave then do a full systems check to find out who—" Megatron came to a grinding halt as a thought snaked into the back of his processor. "Where is Orion?"

Breakdown and Knockout glanced at each other warily. "Uh, we don't know Sir." Knockout said.

"He was in his rooms last I checked." Breakdown added. "But that was before this—Sir?"

Megatron was off and running, racing towards Orion's quarters with Knockout and Breakdown close behind him. He practically tore the doors open only to find the room completely empty, no sign of the Autobot anywhere.

"Send out a squadron." Megatron ordered. "I want him found."

"He could be elsewhere on the ship, Sir—"

Megatron shook his helm. "No, the virus was a decoy. This was—"

The lights went out.

"I get knocked down, but I get up again.

You're never gonna keep me down.

I get knocked down, but I get up again.

You're never gonna keep me down.

Pissing the night away, pissing the night away…"

Breakdown gripped his helm. "No, no, no, no! Not again!"

"Cut the power again!"

"Yes, because that worked so well the last time." Knockout mumbled.

"What was that?" Megatron growled.

"Uh, nothing. I'll just go and cut the power then. Again"

The music cut out.

Megatron raised an optic ridge. "Perhaps that's the last of it."

Breakdown shook his helm. "No…this is just the start…it won't end…"

"So we sail up to the sun,

Till we found the sea of green.

And we lived beneath the waves,

In our yellow submarine.

We all live in a yellow submarine,

Yellow submarine, yellow submarine…"

"Sir, I do not believe shutting down the power will help at all." Knockout said. "I think the best option would be to let the virus run its course. It doesn't appear to be damaging the ship in any way. And from what I've seen of the virus, it will delete itself after several hours. Perhaps we should evacuate—"

"I will not evacuate this ship!"

Knockout sighed. "Then all that we can do is simply grin and bear it."

The song changed again.

"If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe,

I'ld been married long time ago.

Where did you come from, where did you go?

Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe…"

And so the crew of the Nemesis was forced to endure the effects of the virus. Try as they might, none could continue with their normal routines. Megatron took to storming the halls, coming across Vehicons curled up into whimpering balls or banging their helms against the metal walls of the ship.

"This is the song that doesn't end.

Yes, it goes on and on my friend.

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was,

And they'll continue singing it forever just because

This is the song that doesn't end.

Yes, it goes on and on my friend…"

Airachnid was crawling the walls (literally) trying to destroy all speaker systems in her quarters. It was no help though since the songs echoed loudly throughout the ship, regardless of speakers.

Airachnid hiss in agony. "What torture is this?"

"It's a world of laughter, a world of tears.

It's a world of hopes, it's a world of fear.

There's so much that we share

That it's time we're aware

It's a small world after all.

It's a small world after all.

It's a small world after all.

It's a small world after all

It's a small, small world."

By some miracle, Breakdown's processor managed to not crash again. The poor one-optic 'Con, desperately looking for any distraction, was dragging the still unconscious Soundwave to the medbay.

"I have a blue house with a blue window

Blue is the color of all that I wear

Blue are the streets and all the trees are too…"

Upon entering the medbay, Breakdown nearly dropped Soundwave. The sight before him would be burned into his processor forever.

Knockout was swaying his hips and nodding his helm in time with the techno beat.

"You're dancing to this?" Breakdown roared.

Knockout jumped in surprise. "Oh, ah Breakdown…well…you see…uh…it has a nice rhythm."

"TRAITOR!"

"I'm Blue

Da ba dee da ba dai

Da ba dee da ba dai

Da ba dee da ba dai

Da ba dee da ba dai…"

To say that Megatron was mad would be an understatement. The warlord was livid, furious, enraged, and just plain angry at the situation. Not only was Orion Pax gone, but his crew had been reduced to a sniveling, whimpering mass at the hands of a twisted virus. The lord of the Decepticons vowed that he would find the perpetrator and have him strung up by his cables; the culprit would be dismantled bit by bit, his processor would be used for target practices, his optics for decorations. Whoever it was that was responsible for this insolence, he would pay dearly.

"Aaachoo!" Zig-zag sniffled and wiped his nose with a crumpled tissue.

"Bless you." Lola yawned, stretching as much as she could in the cabin of the sentient truck.

"Thanks, so how much farther do we have to go?"

Val, who was sitting in the driver's seat, just shrugged. "Not sure. All I know is that we need to put as many miles between us and that warship before the Decepticons come after us."

Zig-zag chuckled evilly. "I don't think we need to worry about them too much. They're going to be a bit distracted for a little while."

Lola leaned close to Val. "You know, sometimes he really does scare me."

"Count your blessings he's on our side then." Val whispered back, eyeing the pale hacker with concern as he continued to chuckle.

Orion spoke up for the first time in a while. "What exactly did he do—"

Val shook her head. "Don't ask, Orion. I've learned that when it comes to Ziggy, it's better if you just don't ask."

Finally, after twelve long hours of the most horrendous music the Decepticons had ever had the misfortune of picking up on their audio receptors, the virus seemed to have left the ship's systems entirely. The crew of the Nemesis were downright exhausted; more than a dozen Vehicons were sent to the medbay due to nervous breakdowns. Soundwave had been revived and quickly returned to his duties with his usually stoic silence. The only evidence of the Communications Officer's unfortunate incident was a violent twitching that would travel through his frame every few minutes. Orion Pax was nowhere to be found and although Megatron sent out several search squadrons to locate him, most of the Decepticons believed it to be a lost cause. Though who had taken him was still a mystery to the crew. They did not believe that the Autobots were the culprits; there was no way that those pathetic scrap piles could have snuck aboard and rescued their leader without any detection. And the Autoscum couldn't have been responsible for the virus; they may have hated the Decepticons with every circuit in their frames but they weren't sadists. So the mysterious third party would have to remain, well, a mystery for the time being. Right then though, the Decepticons were just too fragging tired to care.

Megatron staggered into his quarters and dropped onto his berth, his audio receptors still ringing. The warlord was so worn out that he hadn't even bothered to dismember a few Vehicons in his rage over the missing amnesiac Autobot. Megatron slowly shut his optics. Tomorrow, tomorrow he would deal out the necessary punishments, right after a good night's recharge…

"Here's a little song I wrote,

You might want to sing it note for note,

Don't worry, be happy.

In every life we have some trouble,

When you worry, you make it double,

Don't worry, be happy."

"I HATE THIS SLAGGING, PIT-SPAWNED PLANET!"

"Don't worry be happy now.

Don't worry, be happy.

Don't worry, be happy..."

And so ends the reign of terror that Zig-zag inflicted on the crew of the Nemesis.

Songs used:

Sufin' Bird by the Trashmen

Tubthumping by Chumbawamba (this song isn't actually that bad)

Yellow Submarine by the Beatles (Not disrespecting the Beatle or anything, but you gotta admit this song gets stuck in your head easily and is hard to get out)

Cotton-Eye Joe by Rednex (as fun as this song is to dance to at parties, it can get really annoying really fast)

Song That Never Ends by ? (I'm not sure who wrote this, but they should be thrown in jail)

It's A Small World by some douche bag who works at Disney (I hate this song! The last time I was forced on this ride our boat got stuck for ten minutes. For ten minutes I had to listen to this song over, and over, and over again! I wanted to bash my brains in against the seat bars. It didn't help that my best friend kept singing all the way back to the hotel (traitor))

Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65 (I don't blame Knockout for jamming along, this song's got an addictive beat)

Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bob Marley/ Bobby McFerrin (I'm not quite sure who wrote it) (a reader from Zig-zag and Cabin Fever recommended this song and I gotta say it would work perfectly for ol' Megs, the 'Con definitely needs to relax more often.)

Well that's it for the short story, I'd better be getting back to Valiant Spark now.

As always, reviews are most welcome.